The Old Man and his Dog

An old man and his dog were walking along a country road, enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to the man that he had died. He remembered dying, and realized, too, that the dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road would lead them, and continued onward.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall, white arch that gleamed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He was pleased that he had finally arrived at heaven, and the man and his dog walked toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw someone sitting at a beautifully carved desk off to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, but is this heaven?”

“Yes, it is, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.” The gatekeeper gestured to his rear, and the huge gate began to open.

“I assume my friend can come in…” the man said, gesturing toward his dog.

But the reply was, “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”

The man thought about it, then thanked the gatekeeper, turned back toward the road, and continued in the direction he had been going.

After another long walk, he reached the top of another long hill, and he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate. There was no fence, and it looked as if the gate had never been closed, as grass had grown up around it. As he approached the gate, he saw a man just inside, sitting in the shade of a tree reading a book. “Excuse me!” he called to the reader. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a well over there,” the man said, pointing to a place that couldn’t be seen from outside the gate. “Come on in and make yourself at home.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.

“He’s welcome too, and there’s a bowl by the well,” he said. They walked through the gate and, sure enough, there was an old-fashioned well and a bowl next to it on the ground. The man filled the bowl for his dog, and then took a long drink himself. When both were satisfied, he and the dog walked back toward the man, who was sitting under the tree waiting for them, and asked, “What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.

“This is heaven,” was the answer.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “It certainly doesn’t look like heaven, and there’s another man down the road who said that place was heaven.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?”

“Yes, it was beautiful.”

“Nope. That’s hell.”

“Doesn’t it offend you for them to use the name of heaven like that?”

“No. I can see how you might think so, but it actually saves us a lot of time.   They screen out the people who are willing to leave their best friends behind.”


Whether one is a person of faith or a humanist, this parable underscores the fact that whatever world we live in, it would be a poorer world without our animal friends.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Beware of Fake Malware Warnings

Surfing around for a picture I was looking for yesterday, I came across this warning:

Since I had recently switched from AVG Free to Microsoft Security Essentials (it seems to work just as well, and doesn’t consume anywhere near as much CPU overhead, just for the record), it caught my attention. However, the strange English also caught my attention.

Clicking on the OK button, the full alert became visible:

Again, there’s that “to prevent the system crash.” Microsoft may be guilty of useless error messages and worthless help files, but at least they use correct English. Hovering my mouse over the “Clean Computer” button showed a redirect to some alphabet-soup URL, meaning that anyone who clicks that button will be redirected to a site which will load the victim’s computer up with trojans, viruses and malware, oh my. The last insult is that the warning crippled the “Back” button in Firefox, so I had to close it out and restart to get off the page.

Be careful out there, folks. Just because you get a warning like this on your screen doesn’t mean your computer is infected. If you’re already using a reliable Malware scanner, you are most likely protected. Take note of the page (so you don’t go back) and get away from that URL as quickly as possible. Odds are you still have a clean computer.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

VCR Wars: The one that lost

Betamax. Talk to an afficionado and you’ll get a whole list of reasons why it was better. VHS supporters disagree – fairly comprehensive point-counterpoint presents both opinions.

With technology zooming ahead at such breakneck speed, many youngsters today wouldn’t even relate to this Dilbert cartoon:

With both VHS and Betamax virtually obsolete for future production, the debate is more or less moot – but I still have 162 VHS tapes on my shelf, waiting to be ripped to AVI or replaced with DVD’s.

“Why don’t you switch to Blu-Ray,” I hear someone in the background sniggering? Basically for the same reason I don’t replace my PC with a Mac – it’s no longer substantially better, just different – and a whole lot more expensive. I’ve seen lots of videos on my son’s HD/Blu-Ray set. Yeah, they’re pretty nice. But when I watch movies at home on my own equipment, I don’t feel deprived. When my DVD player goes belly-up, I’ll most likely buy a Blu-Ray capable box, but then I’ll have to get a higher-resolution screen, and I can’t see shelling out the extra money until it’s absolutely necessary.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Disclaimer

No, you didn’t win this. No, you can’t have it. No.

DEAR,

MY NAME IS GENERAL MARTINS TANJUL. I AM THE DEPOSED MAGNATE OF PETROCO IN LAGOS, NIGERIA, AND I NEED YOUR HELP IN MOVING THE AMOUNT OF $US 205 MILLION IN CASH OUT OF MY STORAGE VAULT TO YOUR COUNTRY…

So goes about every scam letter from the Lads from Lagos, often accompanied by pictures like the one above. For some strange reason, people continue falling for these mind-bendingly absurd emails; if they didn’t, the boys would give up their trade and find some other way to separate suckers from their money.

The photo above actually does represent about $205,000,000 and was seized as part of the biggest cash-drug bust in history, somewhere in Mexico City.

Yeah. So if you weren’t sure, it’s a scam. It’s always a scam. Any email from anyone you don’t know, where the subject is money, is a scam.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

1980 Citroën Karin (Model)

The Citroën was once awarded the title of the world’s ugliest car. But their engineers had high aspirations.

Having no new models to reveal at the 1980 Paris Salon, Citroën stylist Trevor Fiore was given the go ahead to build a model (not a driveable car) for display. The result was the trapezoidal Karin, clearly inspired by Michel Harmand’s design for a GS Coupé. A three seater with the driver being seated centrally and ahead of the two passengers, this layout pre-empted that of the McLaren F1 of 1992.”1

Yeah. I’d drive one, if it existed.


1Found at Citroenet.

Disclaimer

The Davis Three-Wheeler

Some history about the Davis Sedan for your gratuitous enjoyment. To me it looks like a glorified sidecar.

Of course, it could be worse.

It could be a Messerschmitt,

or an Isetta!

I don’t think any of these cars would have done well in a collision with a Duesenberg.

These beautiful vehicles, by the way, were so coveted and admired that they lent their name to the once-common expression, “That’s a doozy!”

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Disclaimer