Amy Wright and the “How Dare You” COVID essay

When something becomes a meme on the Internet, you can be pretty sure there’s a kernel of truth behind it. Tidbits of wisdom, even when inspiring, are often attributed to the strangest, though incorrect sources. I can only assume this usually happens out of ignorance (meaning, they just don’t know the source and feel like adding a “likely” origin) rather than malice, but once something is out there, it can spread like wildfire – and pretty soon everyone and their sister’s cat’s grandmother thinks the quote is accurately sourced.

This has happened in recent days with a powerful essay that is circulating on Facebook and elsewhere about the Coronavirus, widely attributed to Dr. Fauci. The trouble is, the authoress is Amy Wright, who wrote it and posted it on Facebook on June 14, 2020. You can see the original post here.

I have replicated the full text of the post below, because it deserves to be widely seen with correct attribution.

Here is my take. Short-sighted people want to dismiss COVID-19 as “just a virus”. You may hear some suggest it’s “like a cold”. Maybe that makes them feel better because it’s familiar and makes this crisis feel less overwhelming.

But here’s the problem with that:

Chicken pox is a virus. Lots of people have had it, and probably don’t think about it much once the initial illness has passed. But it stays in your body and lives there forever, and maybe when you’re older, you have debilitatingly painful outbreaks of shingles. You don’t just get over this virus in a few weeks, never to have another health effect. We know this because it’s been around for years, and has been studied medically for years.

Herpes is also a virus. And once someone has it, it stays in your body and lives there forever, and anytime they get a little run down or stressed-out they’re going to have an outbreak. Maybe every time you have a big event coming up (school pictures, job interview, big date) you’re going to get a cold sore. For the rest of your life. You don’t just get over it in a few weeks. We know this because it’s been around for years, and been studied medically for years.

HIV is a virus. It attacks the immune system, and makes the carrier far more vulnerable to other illnesses. It has a list of symptoms and negative health impacts that goes on and on. It was decades before viable treatments were developed that allowed people to live with a reasonable quality of life. Once you have it, it lives in your body forever and there is no cure. Over time, that takes a toll on the body, putting people living with HIV at greater risk for health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, kidney disease, diabetes, bone disease, liver disease, cognitive disorders, and some types of cancer. We know this because it has been around for years, and had been studied medically for years.

Now with COVID-19, we have a novel virus that spreads rapidly and easily. The full spectrum of symptoms and health effects is only just beginning to be catalogued, much less understood.

So far the symptoms reported include:

Fever
Fatigue
Coughing
Pneumonia
Chills/Trembling
Acute respiratory distress
Lung damage (potentially permanent)
Loss of taste (a troubling neurological symptom)
Sore throat
Headaches
Difficulty breathing
Mental confusion
Diarrhea
Nausea or vomiting
Loss of appetite
Strokes have also been reported in some people who have COVID-19 (even in the relatively young)
Swollen eyes
Blood clots
Seizures
Liver damage
Kidney damage
Rash
COVID toes (weird, right?)

People testing positive for COVID-19 have been documented to be sick even after 60 days. Many people are sick for weeks, get better, and then experience a rapid and sudden flare up and get sick all over again.

A man in Seattle was hospitalized for 62 days, and while well enough to be released, still has a long road of recovery ahead of him. Not to mention a $1.1 million medical bill.

Then there is MIS-C. Multisystem inflammatory syndrome in children is a condition where different body parts can become inflamed, including the heart, lungs, kidneys, brain, skin, eyes, or gastrointestinal organs. Children with MIS-C may have a fever and various symptoms, including abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, neck pain, rash, bloodshot eyes, or feeling extra tired. While rare, it has caused deaths.

This disease has not been around for years. It has basically been 6 months. No one knows yet the long-term health effects, or how it may present itself years down the road for people who have been exposed. We literally *do not know* what we do not know.

For those in our society who suggest that people being cautious are cowards, for people who refuse to take even the simplest of precautions to protect themselves and those around them, I want to ask, without hyperbole and in all sincerity:

How dare you?

How dare you risk the lives of others so cavalierly. How dare you decide for others that they should welcome exposure as “getting it over with”, when literally no one knows who will be the lucky “mild symptoms” case, and who may fall ill and die. Because while we know that some people are more susceptible to suffering a more serious case, we also know that 20 and 30 year olds have died, marathon runners and fitness nuts have died, children and infants have died.

How dare you behave as though you know more than medical experts, when those same experts acknowledge that there is so much we don’t yet know, but with what we DO know, are smart enough to be scared of how easily this is spread, and recommend baseline precautions such as:

Frequent hand-washing
Physical distancing
Reduced social/public contact or interaction
Mask wearing
Covering your cough or sneeze
Avoiding touching your face
Sanitizing frequently touched surfaces

The more things we can all do to mitigate our risk of exposure, the better off we all are, in my opinion. Not only does it flatten the curve and allow health care providers to maintain levels of service that aren’t immediately and catastrophically overwhelmed; it also reduces unnecessary suffering and deaths, and buys time for the scientific community to study the virus in order to come to a more full understanding of the breadth of its impacts in both the short and long term.

I reject the notion that it’s “just a virus” and we’ll all get it eventually. What a careless, lazy, heartless stance. Being intentional and taking basic, common sense precautions has permitted me to avoid many common viruses. I’ve never had the flu. And while I’m not saying I never will, I also am not about to run out and intentionally expose myself to “get it over with”.

I, and several other people, posted comments on Facebook to Amy indicating that her writing was being shared widely, either with the Fauci attribution or with others trying to claim authorship. She responded with this:

In a spirit of complete openness, Ms. Wright also confessed that with regard to accuracy, only the list of symptoms has been verified through multiple sources, and that the thrust of her essay was that we know so very little about SARS-CoV-2 that it will be a long time before we fully understand the virus.

That said, I found that the entire essay struck a chord with me, and I include it with gratitude here.

The Old Wolf has shared.

67 looks different now

One of my all-time favorite books has always been The Human Comedy by William Saroyan. It’s a lovely novel about good-hearted, hard-working people living in a terrible time of death, destruction, and fear – the days of World War II. It is also written in a simple, delicious style, reflective of a certain simple goodness that much of our society no longer seems to prize.

In the course of the story, Homer Macaulay, a 14-year-old boy whose father has died and whose brother Marcus is away at the war, takes a job at the local telegraph office. There he meets Mr. Spangler, the manager, and Willie Grogan, the old-time telegrapher.

The following excerpt from the novel has always moved me because of Saroyan’s writing, but now more than ever since as of today I am no longer sixty-seven years old, the same age as Willie.

Homer sings “Happy Birthday” to Mr. Grogan

Spangler asked suddenly, “You know where Chatterton’s Bakery is on Broadway? Here’s a quarter. Go get me two day-old pies — apple and cocoanut cream. Two for a quarter.”  

“Yes, sir,” Homer said. He caught the quarter Spangler tossed to him and ran out of the office. Spangler looked after him, moving along into idle, pleasant, nostalgic dreaming. When he came out of the dream, he turned to the telegraph operator and said, “What do you think of him?”  

“He’s a good boy,” Mr. Grogan said.  

“I think he is,” Spangler said. “Comes from a good, poor family on Santa Clara Avenue. No father. Brother in the Army. Mother works in the packing-houses in the summer. Sister goes to State College. He’s a couple of years underage, that’s all.”  

“I’m a couple overage,” Mr. Grogan said. “Well get along.”  

Spangler got up from his desk. “If you want me,” he said, “I’ll be at Corbett’s. Share the pies between you—” He stopped and stared, dumbfounded, as Homer came running into the office with two wrapped-up pies.  

“What’s your name again?” Spangler almost shouted at the boy.  

“Homer Macauley,” Homer said.  

The manager of the telegraph office put his arm around the new messenger. “All right, Homer Macauley,” he said. “You’re the boy this office needs on the night-shift. You’re probably the fastest-moving thing in the San Joaquin valley. You’re going to be a great man some day, too— if you live. So see that you live.” He turned and left the office while Homer tried to understand the meaning of what the man had said.  

“All right, boy,” Mr. Grogan said, “the pies.”  

Homer put the pies on the desk beside Mr. Grogan, who continued to talk. “Homer Macauley,” he said, “my name is William Grogan. I am called Willie, however, although I am sixty-seven years old. I am an old-time telegrapher, one of the last in the world. I am also night wire-chief of this office. I am also a man who has memories of many wondrous worlds gone by. I am also hungry. Let us feast together on these pies— the apple and the cocoanut cream. From now on, you and I are friends.”  

“Yes, sir,” Homer said.  

The old telegraph operator broke one of the pies into four parts, and they began to eat cocoanut cream.  

“I shall, on occasion,” Mr. Grogan said, “ask you to run an errand for me, to join me in song, or to sit and talk to me. In the event of drunkenness, I shall expect of you a depth of understanding one may not expect from men past twelve. How old are you?’

“Fourteen,” Homer said, “but I guess I’ve got a pretty good understanding.”  

“Very well,” Mr. Grogan said. “I’ll take your word for it. Every night in this office I shall count on you to see that I shall be able to perform my duties. A splash of cold water in the face if I do not respond when shaken— this is to be followed by a cup of hot black coffee from Corbett’s.”  

“Yes, sir,” Homer said.  

“On the street, however,” Mr. Grogan continued, “the procedure is quite another thing. If you behold me wrapped in the embrace of alcohol, greet me as you pass, but make no reference to my happiness. I am a sensitive man and prefer not to be the object of public solicitude.”  

“Cold water and coffee in the office,” Homer said. “Greeting in the street. Yes, sir.”  

Mr. Grogan went on, his mouth full of cocoanut cream. “Do you feel this world is going to be a better place after the War?”  

Homer thought a moment and then said, “Yes, sir.”  

“Do you like cocoanut cream?” Mr. Grogan said.  

“Yes, sir,” Homer said.  

The telegraph box rattled. Mr. Grogan answered the call and took his place at the typewriter, but went on talking. “I, too, am fond of cocoanut cream,” he said. “Also music, especially singing. I believe I overheard you say that once upon a time you sang at Sunday School. Please be good enough to sing one of the Sunday School songs while I type this message from Washington, D. C.”  

Homer sang Rock of Ages while Mr. Grogan typed the telegram. It was addressed to Mrs. Rosa Sandoval, 1129 G Street, Ithaca, California, and in the telegram the War Department informed Mrs. Sandoval that her son, Juan Domingo Sandoval, had been killed in action.  

Mr. Grogan handed the message to Homer. He then took a long drink from the bottle he kept in the drawer beside his chair. Homer folded the tele- gram, put it in an envelope, sealed the envelope, put the envelope in his cap and left the office. When the messenger was gone, the old telegraph operator lifted his voice, singing Rock of Ages. For once upon a time he too had been as young as any man.

Saroyan, William, The Human Comedy, Harcourt, Brace and Company (1943)

Willie is 67, and has lived a hard life. Alcoholism takes its toll. I don’t feel as old as Willie, but I haven’t lived through two world wars or known the privations of the Depression. But the number stuck in my mind, and brought back these recollections.

Age is a funny thing. It’s relative. When I first read The Human Comedy as a young man (one of the few books that has ever made me weep like a grade-schooler), sixty-seven seemed far, far away and ancient. Now that I’ve passed that mark, aside from the wear and tear that comes with an aging body I don’t feel as old as Willie – somehow I’m still around 24 inside. Or sometimes 15. Or sometimes five.

I remember that even as a child, I was amused by Gelett Burgess’ poem “Consideration” found in Goops and How To Be them:

When you’re old, and get to be
Thirty-four or forty-three,
Don’t you hope that you will see
Children all respect you?

Will they, without being told,
Wait on you, when you are old,
Or be heedless, selfish, cold?
hope they’ll not neglect you!

But it’s important to remember that life expectancy has changed radically over the last century and a half.

  • Today, in 2019, the average human can expect to live to age 79.
  • in 1943 when The Human Comedy was published, the average US life expectancy for a male was 62.4, so Willie was well past the mark.
  • In 1900, when The Goops was written, the number was considerably lower: 46.3
  • And in 1853 when Herman Melville wrote “Bartleby the Scrivener,” lower still – around 38, so the narrator can be forgiven for calling himself “a rather elderly man,” ” somewhere not far from sixty.”

Much of the rising life expectancy can be attributed to advances in medical science, the eradication of many infectious diseases, and the judicious application of vaccines against diseases such as polio, smallpox, and the many childhood diseases that carried so many people away.

Public Service Announcement: Vaccines are generally safe and prevent far more suffering than they cause.

I’m to the point now where I can no longer count on the fingers of both hands the number of family members, friends and associates who have graduated from mortality at an age younger than I am today. We never know when our number will be called; like everyone else I will board the bus (“Heart and Souls” reference) when it comes for me, and while I hope for significantly more time here on earth I will be grateful for what I’ve been given. By the standards of days gone by, I’ve already beaten the odds by a mile.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Snake Oil from the 1890s

I saw this today over at Teresa’s Frog Applause strip, and thought I’d share it just because I found it fascinating.

Phytolacca Decandra, if you were not sure, is pokeweed – a toxic plant with no known legitimate medical uses and a host of applications in folk medicine.

It’s poisonous. That’s all I need to know about it. Unlike the fugu (puffer fish of Japan) which is supposedly delicious if prepared properly and fatal if not, this stuff really has no compelling reason to eat it unless one were starving, much like the pioneers in Utah who survived on sego lily bulbs after their arrival in the Great Salt Lake basin. It did keep them alive, but I’ve never been tempted to try them.

As I mentioned in earlier articles, thanks to cable television and the internet, there seems to be a new “hot” thing every year or so, hawked by the likes of Dr. Oz and a horde of affiliate marketers – green coffee extract, garcinia cambogia, exogenous ketones, chitosan, bromelain, coral calcium, the list is endless.

Take a pass on any remedy that claims to allow you to lose weight effortlessly. Just don’t waste your money. None of them work. It’s a sad fact that most of us love to eat, that the most comforting foods are high-density carbohydrates (often cooked in delicious, satiating fat), and that pounds are frightfully easy to put on and frightfully hard to take off. The only way to release weight consistently is to live with a caloric deficit, even a slight one. Eat a healthier, more balanced diet, burn more than you eat (exercise helps in a lot of different ways, but pushaways are the best dinner-table exercise you can do), and you will drop pounds.

Stay away from the snake oil.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Affiliate Marketing – How many lies can they cram in?

I’ve written before about affiliate marketing, and what a plague it is on the internet. I just had a tab pop up on my browser – despite two ad-blockers being active – and I thought I’d share an image or two.

Health experts recommend losing between 1-2 pounds a week for healthy weight release. This claim amounts to close to 1 lb per day. Ain’t gonna happen, unless you’re eating 500 calories per day and burning 3,500. In addition, this claim is not backed by Fox News (as disreputable as they may be in other areas), the NY Times, Today, Oprah, Style Watch, or Redbook.

This is not going to happen in 22 days. Look, children, this is what we call “a lie.”

Limited time only: Lie
Only 4 Bottles Still Available: Lie
40% discount: Negated at the purchase page.
Offer ends Today: Lie

Countdown timer at the bottom of the page: Another Lie.

Let’s look at the purchase page:

This page claims to send you free bottles: Lie
Only 241 promotions left: Lie
Endorsements: Lie
Lose weight without exercising: Lie

So if you want that free product and provide your information (which, by the way, will be sold to every marketer with two coppers to rub together), you get this:

Oh look, you’re being charged $59.95. That’s not free, nor is it the 40% discount promised on a previous page. And if you don’t notice that the 6-bottle option is checked, the charge on your credit card is going to be horrendous.

But wait, there’s more!

Buried deep on the purchase page in light gray print is the link to “terms and conditions,” which very few people will bother to read. If they do, they’ll find a wall of text, which includes these hidden gems (there’s a lot more of it)

Terms
SCOPE & APPLICATION
1.1 You expressly agree and accept the Conditions set forth herein unconditionally as a binding contract (“the Agreement”) enforceable by law… (How well this load of BS would stand up in court is an open question)

PRODUCT AND BILLING
2.1 All product purchases made from this website are required to be paid in full. For more information about our products, please visit http://www.ketopurediet.com.
2.1.1. The prices for the products are as follows: $199.99 or $28.57 each for the 7 bottle package;$149.95 or $29.99 each for the 5 bottle package; $99.99 or $33.33 each for the 3 bottle package and $69.99 each for the 1 bottle package, plus $7.95 shipping and handling. Shipping and handling is non-refundable.
2.2 You authorize us to initiate a one-time charge to your credit card as indicated upon your purchase. (So, not free at all)

This next one is a real treasure:

16.7 I also acknowledge that I understand that by placing my order of Keto Pure Diet, I am automatically enrolled in the Keto Pure Diet health community program. I further acknowledge that I understand that my membership in Keto Pure Diet is included in my product purchase, that my complementary membership will remain active for as long as I remain an active custom of Keto Pure Diet, and that once I am no longer an active customer of Keto Pure Diet the membership dues shall, at my option, become my responsibility. I hereby grant authorization for the monthly membership dues to be charged to the credit card or debit card used to complete the purchase of Keto Pure Diet. I further acknowledge, agree to, and accept the Keto Pure Diet Privacy Policy, the Keto Pure Diet Website Use Terms and Conditions, the Keto Pure Diet Terms and Conditions, and the Keto Pure Diet Health Coin Terms and Conditions. I acknowledge that I understand that my Keto Pure Diet my Keto Pure Diet membership can be canceled at anytime by calling 1-888-628-6284, by emailing support@ketopurediet.com. Your Keto Pure Diet membership entitles you and your household dependents to consultation fee free calls with licensed doctors 24-hours per day, 365-days per year, as well as access to thousands of dentists with typical savings of 50% off regular bills, vision care savings, and prescription savings at most pharmacies in the US. To learn more value to the included Keto Pure Diet program, go to http://www.ketopurediet.com, and look for emails explaining the programs and services included in the membership.

Notice that if you stop ordering this product, you have just given permission for monthly dues to some worthless program to be charged to your credit card, and nothing is ever said about how much those monthly dues are until you’ve bitten the hook.

There’s a lot more legal noise in those terms and conditions, which mostly assure you that the company has all rights and that you have very few.

But what about the product itself? Is it any good? will it work? Wow, it’s so easy:

The ketogenic diet has been around for a long time. There is a massive body of information out there about it, some positive and some negative. While the marketeers would have you believe that exogenous ketones (i.e. the stuff that comes from outside your body) can put you into a state of ketosis in minutes, that’s highly debatable. So if you want to release weight with a ketogenic diet, follow step 2 above (but be sure to consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any program of this nature.) Step 1 can be safely replaced with:

  • Singing opera 10 minutes a day
  • Painting with Bob Ross
  • Learning to speak Turkish
  • Taking homeopathic weight loss drops
  • Not taking homeopathic weight loss drops
  • Standing on your head and spitting nickels
  • Anything
  • Nothing

… and you’ll get exactly the same results, whatever those are.

The Internet is awash with pages like this, because most affiliate marketers will say absolutely anything to get you to buy the product, for which sale they get a commission. And most affiliate marketers have the ethics of an angry honey badger.

Don’t be taken in by “offers” like this from sleazy, irresponsible salespeople. Stay away from any product that claims to help you lose weight fast.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Cannabis: the case against decriminalization

Cross-posted from Livejournal and updated 11-8-2018

☞ The executive summary is, “Because it doesn’t go far enough.” ☜

A photo gallery at Time Magazine brought this issue to the front of my mind again, where it has been many times. Swirling around in the mass of insignificant facts and rabid squirrels that inhabit my brain are thoughts that keep coming back to me over and over again, many of which have to do with the overwhelming societal cost that we are paying for a failing war on drugs.

If recent statistics (CDC, 2009) are to be believed, 6.6% of people over 12 were using marijuana at least once a month – a total of 23.1 million people (minus the ones under 12). That’s us. We’re the ones who are funding the carnage in Mexico as drug cartels battle for turf and slaughter countless people in their quest for American drug dollars.

Prohibition is Ineffective

We saw how well Prohibition worked… all it did was put the country’s alcohol revenue into the hands of the criminal element. Whenever money is to be made, the bad guys will be there in force, because they don’t care how they get it.

“Although consumption of alcohol fell at the beginning of Prohibition, it subsequently increased. Alcohol became more dangerous to consume; crime increased and became “organized”; the court and prison systems were stretched to the breaking point; and corruption of public officials was rampant. No measurable gains were made in productivity or reduced absenteeism. Prohibition removed a significant source of tax revenue and greatly increased government spending. It led many drinkers to switch to opium, marijuana, patent medicines, cocaine, and other dangerous substances that they would have been unlikely to encounter in the absence of Prohibition.” Cato Institute Policy Analysis

The Social Costs are considerably less than those associated with tobacco and alcohol

The societal costs of alcohol are enormous, whereas the social impact of cannabis use is significantly less.

“In terms of (health-related) costs per user: tobacco-related health costs are over $800 per user, alcohol-related health costs are much lower at $165 per user, and cannabis-related health costs are the lowest at $20 per user.” (Cannabis, Tobacco and Alcohol Use in Canada)

I can’t recall the last time I heard of some high-flying husband beating his wife and children; it’s hard to be aggressive when you’re giggling. That’s said somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but in all my life I have never encountered an angry pot user, whereas the number of bar fights that go on in cities and towns all around America, followed by nights in the slammer and subsequent taking out of infantile anger on innocent domestic partners and children is beyond anyone’s ability to count. The same holds true for violent crime, sexual assault and date rape.

Ask any emergency-room doc, nurse, or EMT: alcohol use contributes to reckless behavior and serious injuries, and it is highly associated with emergency room visits; such visits directly associated with cannabis would hardly make a blip on the radar.

Take the Money Away From the Criminal Element

Drug tunnels like these, as well as illegal farms in national forests and elsewhere, with all their associated risks to innocent citizenry, would become a thing of the past if cannabis were freely available, regulated and taxed in the same way tobacco is.

“The libertarian Cato Institute just issued a detailed statistical analysis on how ending prohibition – a favored term for supporters of pot reform – could help America’s budget woes. According to the much-discussed study, legalizing all illicit drugs would save the government $41.3 billion a year in law-enforcement costs and generate some $46.7 billion in tax revenue; marijuana would account for $8.7 billion of the savings, and another $8.7 billion in taxes. Legalized marijuana would certainly help fatten state coffers in debt-crippled California, where pot is the biggest agricultural crop, with $14 billion a year in sales that never appear on tax returns.” (Newsweek, “The Conservative Case for Legalizing Pot”).

Further thoughts on the tax advantages appeared in the LA Times on 8/27/10.

Prosecution of recreational THC users and those who require it for valid medical reasons is wasting billions of tax dollars directly and indirectly, and taking valuable law enforcement hours away from issues that are significantly more important. Based on everything I’ve seen, heard and read, legalization will have a negligible impact on usage which is already there, and will have societal benefits far greater than any potential increase in disadvantages.

I’m by no means for blanket legalization of all illicit drugs, but at this point marijuana appears to be a no-brainer in terms of cost-benefit analysis. The usage is already there. In a sense, not legalizing it is an immoral act, given how much blood and carnage is resulting from the activity of the Mexican cartels which we are directly funding.

If people could walk down to their local package store for some quality-controlled, legal cannabis, who in their right mind would risk buying it from illegal sources? The illegal marijuana market would simply dry up.

There will be those who question why I’m taking such a position, especially in light of my own religion’s stance on the use of things as mild as tea and coffee, let alone alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs. Make no mistake: I’m convinced that if people would give up the use of all harmful and/or addictive substances, the physical, emotional and spiritual health of our nation would rise dramatically, and countless billions of dollars would be saved. That said, I am simply looking at the numbers. Legalization would save lives, free up law-enforcement resources, and redirect funds from the criminal element to other critical social needs. I can’t look at it any other way.

Progress is being made. Canada has legalized marijuana, and just this week they experienced a severe legal problem: there isn’t enough of it.

In the United States, the non-medical use of cannabis is decriminalized in 13 states (plus the U.S. Virgin Islands), and legalized in another 10 states (plus the District of Columbia and Northern Mariana Islands), as of November 2018. (Wikipedia)

It’s time to get cannabis out of the hands of criminals, and good people – who have committed an offense no worse than a three-martini lunch – out of prison.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The face of depression

This is what depression can look like.

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  1. Kurt Cobain
  2. Chester Bennington
  3. Whitney Houston
  4. Mac Miller
  5. Robin Williams
  6. Phillip Seymour Hoffman
  7. Chris Farley
  8. Marilyn Monroe
  9. Amy Winehouse
  10. Chris Cornell
  11. Ernest Hemingway
  12. Lucy Gordon
  13. Simone Battle
  14. Layne Staley
  15. Gia Allemand
  16. Anthony Bourdain

Some of these people ended their lives deliberately, others by drug overdose that may or may not have been intentional. But their pictures belie what was going on inside – they were hurting.

While many of the comments in the reddit thread where I found this were insensitive and cruel, a few were on point:

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
-Robin Williams

“I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better.”
-Unknown

And an essay on depression that spoke more eloquently to me than much else on the subject (slightly bowdlerized):

Depression
Author Unknown

“When you have depression it’s like it snows every day.

Some days it’s only a couple of inches. It’s a pain in the ass, but you still make it to work, the grocery store. Sure, maybe you skip the gym or your friend’s birthday party, but it IS still snowing and who knows how bad it might get tonight. Probably better to just head home. Your friend notices, but probably just thinks you are flaky now, or kind of an asshole.

Some days it snows a foot. You spend an hour shoveling out your driveway and are late to work. Your back and hands hurt from shoveling. You leave early because it’s really coming down out there. Your boss notices.

Some days it snows four feet. You shovel all morning but your street never gets plowed. You are not making it to work, or anywhere else for that matter. You are so sore and tired you just get back in the bed. By the time you wake up, all your shoveling has filled back in with snow. Looks like your phone rang; people are wondering where you are. You don’t feel like calling them back, too tired from all the shoveling. Plus they don’t get this much snow at their house so they don’t understand why you’re still stuck at home. They just think you’re lazy or weak, although they rarely come out and say it.

Some weeks it’s a full-blown blizzard. When you open your door, it’s to a wall of snow. The power flickers, then goes out. It’s too cold to sit in the living room anymore, so you get back into bed with all your clothes on. The stove and microwave won’t work so you eat a cold Pop Tart and call that dinner. You haven’t taken a shower in three days, but how could you at this point? You’re too cold to do anything except sleep.

Sometimes people get snowed in for the winter. The cold seeps in. No communication in or out. The food runs out. What can you even do, tunnel out of a forty foot snow bank with your hands? How far away is help? Can you even get there in a blizzard? If you do, can they even help you at this point? Maybe it’s death to stay here, but it’s death to go out there too.

The thing is, when it snows all the time, you get worn all the way down. You get tired of being cold. You get tired of hurting all the time from shoveling, but if you don’t shovel on the light days, it builds up to something unmanageable on the heavy days. You resent the hell out of the snow, but it doesn’t care, it’s just a blind chemistry, an act of nature. It carries on regardless, unconcerned and unaware if it buries you or the whole world.

Also, the snow builds up in other areas, places you can’t shovel, sometimes places you can’t even see. Maybe it’s on the roof. Maybe it’s on the mountain behind the house. Sometimes, there’s an avalanche that blows the house right off its foundation and takes you with it. A veritable Act of God, nothing can be done. The neighbors say it’s a shame and they can’t understand it; he was doing so well with his shoveling.

I don’t know how it went down for Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade. It seems like they got hit by the avalanche, but it could’ve been the long, slow winter. Maybe they were keeping up with their shoveling. Maybe they weren’t. Sometimes, shoveling isn’t enough anyway. It’s hard to tell from the outside, but it’s important to understand what it’s like from the inside.

I firmly believe that understanding and compassion have to be the base of effective action. It’s important to understand what depression is, how it feels, what it’s like to live with it, so you can help people both on an individual basis and a policy basis. I’m not putting heavy [stuff] out here to make your Friday morning suck. I know it feels gross to read it, and realistically it can be unpleasant to be around it, that’s why people pull away.

I don’t have a message for people with depression like “keep shoveling”. It’s asinine. Of course you’re going to keep shoveling the best you can, until you physically can’t, because who wants to freeze to death inside their own house? We know what the stakes are. My message is to everyone else. Grab a [] shovel and help your neighbor. Slap a mini snow plow on the front of your truck and plow your neighborhood. Petition the city council to buy more salt trucks, so to speak.

Depression is blind chemistry and physics, like snow. And like the weather, it is a mindless process, powerful and unpredictable with great potential for harm. But like climate change, that doesn’t mean we are helpless. If we want to stop losing so many people to this disease, it will require action at every level.”

There is no one description of depression. There is no packaged solution for depression. While I’ve never dealt with clinical depression personally, I’ve lived with people who do, and my takeaways are fairly basic:

  1. Depression is real.
  2. Platitudes don’t help anything, and usually make things worse: “Snap out of it!” “What’s your problem?” “You need a boy/girlfriend.” A list of 100 things not to say.
  3. The best thing you can say is something like “You are not alone in this. I’m here for you”… and then do it.

battle

Kindness is never wasted, never amiss, never the wrong thing. A kind word or a smile to a stranger might just save a life that day.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Drug Pricing Maze

I’m grateful to have health insurance. Many, many people don’t, and that’s an ongoing debate in our society right now. That said, I absolutely don’t understand what’s going on with drug prices.

I get my long-term scripts filled by Magellan, a mail-order pharmacy. When my last batch of prescriptions was delivered, the printed circulars that came with them had some interesting information that got me thinking.

These are all very common drugs, not rare ones. Actual drug names have been replaced with ℞ A, ℞ B, and ℞ C.


℞ A: The lowest GoodRx price for the most common version of ℞ A is around $4.00, 90% off the average retail price of $43.29 (30-day supply)

OTC versions, for comparison:

Amazon: $27.96
Walmart: $8.00
Kroger: $17.06
Costco: $19.26

Magellan states that the ℞ price for a 90-day supply is $187.20
With Insurance: $10.00
Cash discount: $10.00
Net price: 0

So I ended up getting this one for free.


℞ B: (GoodRx) The cost for ℞ B is around $13 for a supply of 90 capsules, depending on the pharmacy you visit. Prices are for cash paying customers only and are not valid with insurance plans.

This drug is not available over the counter.

Magellan states that the ℞ price for a 90-day supply is $397.22
With Insurance: $10.00


℞ C: The lowest GoodRx price for the most common version of ℞ C is around $10.54, 92% off the average retail price of $134.99 (30-day supply)

Not available OTC.

Magellan states that the ℞ price for a 90-day supply is $450.00
With Insurance: $10.00


So I’ve paid $20.00 for scripts that should have cost me $1034.42

These numbers from Magellan just don’t add up. Are these “self-pay” prices, or just randomly inflated numbers to make me think I’m getting a killer deal? What is the “average retail price” anyway, if nobody pays that?

I found this article at Lifehacker, and it addresses the issue that I mention here – but even after reading the article, to me it is still a mass of confusion. And I realize that in terms of the complexity of the entire situation, what I’ve outlined is just the frost on the surface of the Antarctic ice sheet.

The situation is untenable, and I can clearly not choose the drugs in front of me.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Bra problems that men won’t understand (but should)

I first saw this at BoredPanda. It’s a great collection of webcomics that most ♀-type people will relate to, and that any ♂-type person who wants a relationship with a ♀-type person should be aware of – because your significant other is (guaranteed!) dealing with any number of these issues. So guys, take note – and be sensitive.

I share it here in single-page format with correct attribution to the respective artists, so you don’t have to scroll through 12 pages of clickbait ads and deal with all the comments.

Image result for PG-13 Just because reasons.

This came to my attention via Paul Taylor, author of the inimitable Wapsi Square webcomic, and as a result I’ve put his own contribution to the cause first on the list. Plug: If you’ve never experienced Wapsi, it’s an wonderful [normal | paranormal] [slice of life | adventure  | mythology | coming-of-age | relationship challenges | self-esteem | body image] strip with strong female characters – difficult to describe, but very easy to enjoy.

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsWapsi Square

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C. Cassandra Comics

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Wicked Reasoning

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Sarah’s Scribbles

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Sarah’s Scribbles

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Sarah’s Scribbles

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Sarah’s Scribbles

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C. Cassandra Comics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsLoryn Brantz

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsGemma Correll

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womaniyeah

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Danielle Pioli

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsUnclipped Adventure

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsMaritsa Patrinos

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsNatalya Lobanova

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsBee

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsMurzz Studio

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Sarah’s Scribbles

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Gemma Correll

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsFlo Perry

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Flo Perry

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Whoiskasey

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Murzz Studio

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comicsinyourfacecake

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsWeinye

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Lillian Lai

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Shea Strauss

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Happyfluffcomics

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Sarah’s Scribbles

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsAngela Mary Vaz

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsCharlotte Gomez

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Kroov
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womaniyeah

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Becky Barnicoat

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsMrs. Frollein

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Happyfluffcomics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsIrene Martini

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsMeg Quinn – Artbymoga

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsThe Princess Planet

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsGemma Correll

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsLuna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsAgustina Guerrero

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yeahitschill

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randomninjakitty

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsGinger Haze

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Straycurls

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comicsstickycomics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsBusty Girl Comics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsElectric Bunny Comics

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Busty Girl Comics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsPlanet Prudence

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Flo Perry

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Danielle Pioli

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Luyidraws

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Meg Quinn – Artbymoga

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Flo Perry

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Poetryinmocha

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Planet Prudence

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Becky Barnicoat

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Planet Prudence

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsBra Garden

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsBrustle

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsRosalarian

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Luna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comicsda.di.dou

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da.di.dou

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Between Friends

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsRiding in Cabs with Boys

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsNatalie Dee

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Luna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsWowo Comics

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Wowo Comics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
randomninjakitty

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Flo Perry

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Luna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Maritsa Patrinos

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Between Friends

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
GoodBadComics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsCathy Wilcox

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsEveryday People Cartoons

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsHannah Hillam

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsNinacosford

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Lillian Lai

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics

Renee Rienties

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Between Friends

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
da.di.dou

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsMom Comic

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Natalie Dee

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Luna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
da.di.dou

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Everyday People Cartoons

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
da.di.dou

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsAmelia Giller

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsSavae

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Luna Moreno

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Boum

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Flo Perry

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsThe Comical Cyanide

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsSweet Corn and Lettuce

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsChain Saw Suit

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Busty Girl Comics

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics

Ellemnop

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randomninjakitty

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
chlove-art

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
Cathy Wilcox

Relatable-Funny-Bra-ComicsCathy Wilcox

Relatable-Funny-Bra-Comics
randomninjakitty

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Everyday People Cartoons

 

Don’t waste your money on this garbage.

Every time I see a new scam for weight loss, I shed a tear for the people who are taken in. But when I see major retailers pushing snake oil, the tears dry up and are replaced with fiery heat under my collar.

Saw this at Walmart the other day – absolutely nothing new here, they’ve been doing this for a long time, but this is the latest example.

Scam 3

There’s no excuse for this. It’s taking advantage of people who are trying to release weight, selling them something that is just as valuable as the gravel in their driveways.

There is no magic bullet.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away: “Kelli used C. canephora robusta with diet and exercise and has been remunerated. Average weight loss with C. canephora robusta was 10.95 lbs in 60 days with a low-calorie diet and 3.7 lbs in 8 weeks with a calorie-reduced diet and moderate exercise.”

Scam 0

Do you happen to detect a trend here? As I mentioned in an earlier post, reducing caloric intake and increasing caloric consumption (i.e. exercise) will cause you to release weight even if you:

  • Take HydroxyCut
  • take homeopathic drops
  • sing an aria from “Aida”
  • stand on your head and spit nickels, or
  • eat a spoonful of Portland cement with each meal.

If  you weren’t sure, C. canephora robusta is also known as “robusta coffee,” a cousin to arabica coffee, and is often used in espresso because of its stronger flavor and increased bitterness.

Coffee. Trying to recycle the “green coffee extract” scam. Let’s look at all the ingredients:

Scam1

You can see that what you’re getting is basically caffeine and some other random herbs. And for weight release, it’s junk. It doesn’t work. And they know it.

To release weight, eat less and/or exercise more, preferably both. If you set up a consistent caloric deficit, you’ll gradually release weight in a healthy way (unless you really have a medical condition preventing it, in which case see your physician.) Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard; as I saw posted by a Facebook friend just today:

18402645_1341988729221478_8904592300982774124_n.png

And that’s another conversation. But don’t waste your money at Walmart or elsewhere on this worthless garbage.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Weight-loss fraud – still a multibillion dollar industry

With all the good food to eat in the world, compounded by reality shows about celebrity chefs and such things, it’s easy as pie to gain weight. (I see what I did there.) But getting it off is another matter.

Which is why the weight loss industry, including its concomitant multilevel marketing products, homeopathic remedies, and outright fraudulent garbage, is big business. Despite FTC actions trying to shut down fraudulent operators, everyone wants a slice of that pie, and in the wild-west environment of the Internet, it’s not hard to wet one’s beak.

I’ve written about fraudulent health products before, and I’m not likely to stop – as long as the scumbags are out there trying to get your money. People still want to lose weight, people are still looking for that “magic bullet” that will allow them to drop 8 dress sizes before their next reunion without any effort – like eating less food and exercising more – and the Internet is the perfect place for affiliate marketing cockroaches to lay their deceptive eggs.

Case in point – today, an ad seen on my mobile phone where I don’t have ad-blocking technology installed, otherwise I’d be very unlikely to see things like this at all:

Garcinia 5

I went down the rabbit hole just to see who was offering what, and how the scam was presented:

Garcinia 0

One Google search later and I had come up with a Snopes article from April 2017 relating to the same “report,” which never appeared on CNN and which was full of false and misleading claims.

Garbage like this is peddled by affiliate marketers, who will say anything and do anything to get your money and keep it. So clicking on that little ad took me to a page with one of those automatically-generated alphabet-soup URLs: http://purelytwinsblog.com/fitness/indexgg.php?gclid=CJ-Zl8qt19QCFQuSaQodmWUKsg, full of another whole raft of lies, misinformation and general bull pucky. The “limited time” info is, of course, today’s date. Hurry, supplies are limited [scarcity principle working there, folks.]

Garcinia1

If you want a free sample, you get taken to one of any number of affiliate web sites, one of which is seen below:

Garcinia 2.jp

Look how many “other people” are looking at this page right now! You may lose out! Hurry!

And here’s where you pay your slight fee for shipping, conveniently discounted.

Garcinia 4

Simple, right? but at the bottom of that page is a link that says “Terms,” and by all that’s holy you had better read every word (I’ve replicated the entire agreement at the end of this entry, just for your reference. This document kept an attorney busy for quite a while.

Points of interest:

  1. Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. [That’s one hell of an expensive “free trial.”BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.

    These “negative option” agreements are sleazy and unethical in my book. You should stay away from any company that tries to rope you in to one. A lot of people will not read these terms and conditions, and as a result may never get their money back, but if they click the “rush my sample” button, or whatever it says, they are certifying that they have done so.

  2. It will be very difficult for you to get a refund, and the “customer service agents” are very well-trained at deflecting requests for refunds.
  3. You cannot sue for damages – you agree to binding arbitration.
  4. You may not join a class-action suit against these people.

Be very, very careful out there. A huge percentage of ads you see on the Internet lead to websites just like this one, full of outright lies and deception. There’s only one way to lose weight, and that’s with a caloric deficit [eat less food and exercise more]. You should not be losing more than 1-2 pounds per week for a healthy weight release. There is no magic bullet or miracle pill, or substance, or liquid, or gel, or wrap, or anything. There’s just not.

The Old Wolf has Spoken.


Full Terms and Conditions Text

Terms and Conditions and Refund Policy

TERMS & CONDITIONS

LAST UPDATED: January 19, 2016

Contact Details

Contact customer service for any reason at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Member User Agreement

You must read and agree to these Terms and Conditions before placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. By placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia You agree to be bound by the following Terms and Conditions:

ATTENTION: This is a binding agreement between You, the person or entity agreeing to the terms contained in this document (I, You, Your or Customer), and Novel Health LLC, the makers of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, and the owner and administrator of this Website and all content and functionality contained herein (Our, Us, or Company) (collectively, the Parties or We). These terms and conditions, as well as any additional terms, conditions and covenants referenced in or made available by hyperlink in this document (collectively, these Terms, Terms of Use or this Agreement), govern Your use of and access to this Website and any and all of its sub-pages (collectively, the Website).

ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS OF USE: By using, visiting, or browsing the Website, as well as placing an order with Novel Health, LLC through the Website or customer service center, You accept, without limitation or qualification, these Terms of Use and agree, without limitation, to the terms of Our Privacy Statement. If You do not agree to be bound by these Terms of Use and Privacy Statement, You should exit the Website immediately. By accessing, using or ordering products through the Website, You affirm that You have read this Agreement and understand, agree, and consent to all Terms contained herein.

These Terms of Use constitute the entire agreement between Novel Health, LLC and You, and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous agreements, representations, warranties, and understandings with respect to the Website, the content, products, or services provided by or through the Website, and the subject matter of these Terms of Use. This Agreement is intended to be governed by the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Commerce Act. You manifest Your agreement to the Terms in this document by any act demonstrating Your assent thereto, including clicking any button containing the words I Agree; Rush My Order; Submit or similar syntax, or by merely accessing the Website, whether You have read these terms or not. It is suggested that You print this form for Your personal records.

You further agree not to use or access the Website if doing so would violate the laws of Your state, province or country. At the bottom of this page appears a last modified date. If the last modified date remains unchanged, then You may presume that no changes have been made since the last modified date. A changed last modified dates indicates that this document has been updated or edited, and the updated or edited version supersedes any prior versions immediately upon posting.

Product Disclaimer: I understand the statements regarding these products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

I understand the information on this Web site or in emails is designed for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care.

I understand I should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting my doctor. I also understand that Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not intended or to be used to treat any type of medical condition.

WARNING: Not intended for use by persons under 18 years of age. Consult a physician before using this product if You have any medical condition including, but not limited to, strokes, high blood pressure, heart, liver, kidney or thyroid disease, diabetes, anemia, depression, anxiety, other psychiatric conditions, a family history of these or other medical conditions, or if taking any prescription, OTC and/or other herbal medications.

“Purchase Option” Specific Terms and Conditions:

Please note that we offer our customers two different options for purchasing our products.

Option #1 is a one-time purchase option whereby you would pay a one time charge for a specific amount of product. You would be charged immediately for your purchase and your product would be shipped within 24 hours. Additionally; you would never receive any future shipments from us, nor be charged ever again unless you contact us to place another order.

Option #2 is a 14 Day Trial Offer purchase option whereby you would pay a small shipping and handling fee immediately for a full 1 month supply. The 14 Day trial offer allows you to defer payment of the product for 14 days while you try the product, and is followed by future shipments and charges for additional products until you cancel your subscription.

In depth details of these 2 options are provided below.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia One-Time Purchase Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your One-Time Purchase of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia you automatically accept the following terms and conditions.

We are confident you will see the benefits of using our Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Product. You are taking the next step toward a more fit & healthy you!

Upon concluding your purchase, the credit card you provide will be charged a One-time fee equivalent to the price as quoted related to the package you select. You will always be quoted a complete price inclusive of the product, shipping & handling — and this is the charge that will appear on your credit card. You will only ever be charged the quoted purchase price this one time, and you will never receive any future product or charges from us.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you for any reason, simply call us within 30 days from the order date to make arrangements for the return the product and our customer service team will provide you with an RMA number and instructions. Please note that bottles must be unopened with the product safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund. Also, please note that there may be a restocking fee as detailed below in the “Refund Policy” section that is applicable for all returns.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 14 day Trial Offer Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your purchase of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Trial Offer you automatically accept the following terms and conditions. Please note that this is NOT a risk-free trial offer, since you will be charged for Shipping & Handling at the time of purchase, and may be charged a retention fee of $9.95 if you decide to cancel within the trial period and not return the product.

Upon signing up for your trial offer, the credit card you provide will be charged a Shipping & Handling fee of $4.97 and you will be shipped a 1 month supply of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. If you contact customer service to terminate your trial within 14 days of the date that you enroll in the Program, you will have the option of either returning the remaining balance of unused product and pay no fee, or keep the remaining unused product and pay a $9.95 retention fee. Either way, you will receive no further shipments and will not be billed again.

If you do not cancel your trial within the 14 day trial period, you will be billed $94.19 for the product. Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. As a bonus for remaining in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, all shipping and handling fees will be waived and you will only pay the product price of $94.19 per month.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you, call us at 1-888-564-3218 to cancel within 14 days from the order date to avoid the purchase price of $94.19 and enrollment in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends, at the low price of $94.19 per month.

PLEASE NOTE:

There is no obligation to continue in any of our programs, and you can cancel at any time by simply contacting a Customer Service Representative at 1-888-564-3218. Your enrollment date is the date that you submit your order for the trial of the product. Orders are shipped within 24 hours Mon.- Saturday, excluding Sundays and USPS holidays in which case your order will be shipped the morning of the next business day. Orders are shipped via USPS First Class Mail with tracking, and actual delivery time of your order will vary by region.

You can cancel your membership in our auto-shipment program and avoid further Monthly Charges at any time by contacting customer service at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Please note results may vary, but with continuous use of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, we are confident you will see the results you are trying to achieve.

By proceeding with your purchase, you acknowledge and agree that Novel Health, LLC will not obtain additional authorization from you for each future installment of the $94.19 auto-ship program that will be charged to the credit card you provided initially. You agree that as part of the auto-shipment program, Novel Health will ship a new supply every month, and you will be responsible for returning any unused and unopened product in order to receive a refund. In addition, you do not hold Novel Health, LLC responsible for any overdraft charges or fees which you might incur during the ongoing auto-ship program Membership.

All fees are payable in United States currency. For so long as your Membership is active, you will be billed, and you will be required to pay, all applicable charges. Failure to use the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products does not constitute a basis for refusing to pay any of the associated charges. Subject to the conditions set forth herein, you agree to be bound by the Billing Provisions of Novel Health, LLC in effect at any given time. Upon reasonable prior written notice to you (with e-mail sufficing), Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to change its Billing Provisions whenever necessary, in its sole discretion. Continued use of the Site and/or receipt of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products after receipt of such notice shall constitute consent to any and all such changes; provided, however, that any amendment or modification to the Billing Provisions shall not apply to any charges incurred prior to the applicable amendment or modification.

Novel Health, LLC authorization to provide and bill for the Novel Health, LLC Products is obtained by way of your electronic signature or, where applicable, via physical signature and/or voice affirmation. Once an electronic signature is submitted, this electronic order constitutes an electronic letter of agency. Novel Health, LLCs’ reliance upon your electronic signature was specifically sanctioned and written into law when the Uniform Electronic Transactions Act and the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Transactions Act were enacted in 1999 and 2000, respectively. Both laws specifically preempt all state laws that recognize only paper and handwritten signatures. Where you fail to make any auto-ship program payments, such overdue amounts will be subject to your account being deactivated, in which case no further product will be shipped to you and access to the Membership site will be denied, for non-payment.

Shipping Terms

Upon confirming your order you will be shipped one jar of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. Orders are shipped within 24 hours (Monday through Saturday) using our standard USPS First Class shipping method and delivery generally takes as little as 2 to 4 days depending on your geographic location. Please be advised that shipments are not sent on Sundays or any USPS Holidays. Novel Health, LLC does not guarantee specific arrival dates or times.

PLEASE CONTACT CUSTOMER CARE AT 1-888-564-3218 FOR SHIPMENTS NOT RECEIVED WITHIN 5 DAYS. REFUNDS WILL NOT BE ISSUED FOR SHIPMENTS CLAIMED AS UNDELIVERED IF NOT REPORTED WITHIN 14 DAYS. When an incorrect or invalid shipping address is provided at time of order, and Safe Secure Ship has not been purchased, the reshipment will be subject to the retail shipping and handling charge of $12.95(USD).

Contacting Customer Service: You may contact our customer care department at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

IMPORTANT…

1) Please do not return any product to us without first obtaining an RMA number from customer service.

2) If you do not receive your shipment within 5 working days from the date you placed your order, please contact us immediately so we can address the situation appropriately.

Return Address:

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Returns
120 East 8th Street, #301
Los Angeles, CA 90014
USA

Refund Policy

If cancelling before the end of the trial, you must either return balance of product or pay retention fee of $9.95 per product to keep the products and cancel your trial. No retention/restocking fee is charged if product is cancelled and an RMA is issued during trial the period. Please note: In order to avoid the retention fee, the trial must be cancelled and an RMA issued before the end of the trial period. The product then needs to be returned within 30 days of issuing the RMA to avoid the retention fee. For Unopened Non-Trial products (either subscription or straight sale), you can return products for 30 days after purchase date, with a $9.95 restocking fee. Product must be unopened to be returned.

Return Address : Ultra-Premium Garcinia, 120 East 8 th St. #301, Los Angeles, CA 90014

Phone: 888-564-3218

PLEASE NOTE:

1. We refund all cases of fraud and unauthorized transactions inclusive of all shipping and handling charges. Additional refunds are issued at the discretion of the company. Please contact directly at 1-888-564-3218 if you suspect any fraud or unauthorized transactions may have taken place.

2. We reserve the right to replace any damaged products in lieu of refunding them at the discretion of the company.

3. In instances where a refund is warranted and agreed to by the company, customers are restricted to receiving a single refund per product ordered. Multiple refunds for purchases processed in multiple months are not permitted – i.e. We will only consider refunding the most recent months transaction and never multiple past months.

4. We reserve the right to refuse a refund to any customer who repeatedly requests refunds or who, in our judgment, requests refunds in bad faith.

5. In order to request a refund, you must contact Our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218. IN ORDER TO PROCESS A REFUND, ALL RETURNS MUST BE PRE-APPROVED AND ASSIGNED A RETURN MERCHANDISE AUTHORIZATION (RMA) NUMBER. If a refund is warranted, you will be provided with an RMA number and instructions on how to proceed.

6. Once an RMA notice has been issued to you, you will automatically receive an RMA email confirmation and authorization.

7. In order for your refund to be processed, you must include your RMA number in your return package in large and legible print. All returns outside of the trial period are subject to a $9.95 restocking fee.

8. Products must be unopened with the safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund, less the $9.95 restocking fee.

9. We must receive the remaining product back to our fulfillment facility in good condition, and once it is received and the RMA number logged into our systems, a refund will automatically be processed and you will receive an email confirmation that your refund has been processed. Please note that refunds are issued immediately upon processing your return, however, depending on the bank that issued the credit card a refund can take up to thirty (30) days to appear on your credit card statement.

10. Shipping and handling costs are not refundable with the exception of fraud or unauthorized charges.

11. A $9.95 restocking fee is applicable for all returned orders outside of the trial period.

12. You are responsible for any costs incurred to package and safely return the product to our fulfillment facility.

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND, THE ITEM MUST MEET ALL OF THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:

Product must be unopened and unused with safety seal intact.

Customer has 30 days from the time of purchase to obtain an RMA number for unopened and unused product. After 30 days, the purchase is final and no returns are accepted.

Limit one (1) return per product, per household.

Return can only be made on most current product billing cycle NO EXCEPTIONS.

Return product must be returned to us within thirty (30) days for US orders and (45) days for International orders of the assigned Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA) number.

Customer is responsible for all return shipping costs.

Reversals and Chargebacks

We consider chargebacks and reversals as potential cases of fraudulent use of our services and/or theft of services and as such will be treated. We reserve the right of filing a complaint with the appropriate local and federal authorities to investigate. Be advised that all activity and IP address information is being monitored and that this information may be used in a civil and/or criminal case(s) against a client if there is fraudulent use and or theft of services. IN THE EVENT THAT A REVERSAL OR CHARGEBACK CLAIM IS FILED WITH THE CARDHOLDER™S BANK, REFUND REQUESTS WILL BE DENIED BY OUR RISK MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT TO PREVENT FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN MULTIPLE REFUNDS.

Credit Card Declines

In the event a credit card transaction declines, after product has been shipped or received, and you have not exercised your cancellation rights per the terms and conditions, we reserve the right to reprocess the transaction in full. This includes the right to resubmit the charge on or about every seven (7) days from the original declined transaction date and up to three (3) additional attempts thereafter. In the event of subsequent credit card declines, you authorize us to resubmit a reduced amount from one-half (1/2) or one-third (1/3) of the full purchase price until the full amount is obtained.

Contact Customer Care at 1-888-564-3218 if you have additional questions regarding credit card declines.

Damaged or Incorrect items

In the event that your order arrives damaged, or you receive the wrong item, please call our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218 within 48 hours.

We ask that you do not dispose of any damaged products until you contact the Customer Service Department for instructions, as we may require the return of the damaged goods.

In the event of a damaged order, we will ship a replacement order promptly.

If you have ordered incorrectly, we will ship the correct item once we have received the return of the incorrect product.

All damaged orders must be reported within ten (10) business days of delivery.

Damaged orders not reported within ten (10) business days of delivery confirmation cannot be adjusted or credited.

NEGATIVE OPTION CLAUSE

BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.

LIMITATION OF LIABILITY AND DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY

THE MATERIALS AND PRODUCTS CONTAINED AND OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED AS IS AND WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW, NOVEL HEALTH LLC DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR OTHER VIOLATIONS OF RIGHTS. IN NO EVENT SHALL NOVEL HEALTH LLC OR ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, SHAREHOLDERS, EMPLOYEES, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, TELECOMMUNICATIONS PROVIDERS, AND AGENTS BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, EXEMPLARY, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES,UNDER ANY CAUSE OF ACTION WHATSOEVER INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, CONTRACT, TORT, STRICT LIABILITY, WARRANTY, OTHERWISE, FOR ANY CLAIM CAUSE OF ACTION, FEE, EXPENSE, COST, OR LOSS (COLLECIVELY, CLAIMS) ARISING FROM OR RELATED TO THIS AGREEMENT, THE PRIVACY STATEMENT, THE PRODUCTS, OR THE CUSTOMER™S USE OF THE WEBSITE OR ANY PRODUCT. NOVEL HEALTH LLC ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN THE CONTENT OF THE WEBSITE, THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED, OR THAT ANY Novel Health, LLC WEBSITE OR THE SERVERS THAT MAKE SUCH MATERIALS AVAILABLE ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS; NOVEL HEALTH LLC FURTHER ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY FAILURES, DELAYS,MALFUNCTIONS, OR INTERRUPTIONS IN THE DELIVERY OF ANY CONTENT CONTAINED ON THE WEBSITE; ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES ARISING FROM THE USE OF THE CONTENT PROVIDED ON THE WEBSITE; OR ANY CONDUCT BY USERS OF THE WEBSITE, EITHER ONLINE OR OFFLINE. NOVEL HEALTH LLC DOES NOT WARRANT OR MAKE ANY REPRESENTATIONS REGARDING THE USE OR THE RESULTS OF THE USE OF THE MATERIALS ON ANY NOVEL HEALTH LLC WEBSITE IN TERMS OF THEIR CORRECTNESS, ACCURACY, RELIABILITY, OR OTHERWISE. YOU ASSUME THE ENTIRE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR, OR CORRECTION.

You agree that Novel Health, LLCs’ entire liability for all CLAIMS shall be limited, in the aggregate, to the lesser of (i) USD $500.00, or (ii) the total amount of money You paid to Novel Health, LLC in the one (1) month period immediately preceding the incident on which Your alleged claim is based. This limitation of liability shall apply for all CLAIMS, regardless of whether Novel Health, LLC was aware of or advised in advance of the possibility of damages or such CLAIMS. You understand that this is a significant limitation on your right to sue Company and you should not proceed if you do not agree. The warranties and representations specifically set forth in this agreement are the only warranties and representations with respect to this Agreement, and are in lieu of any and all other warranties, written or oral, express or implied, that may arise either by agreement between the parties hereto or by operation of law, including warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. None of these warranties and representations will extend to any third person. Some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion of certain warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to You.

CONSENT TO RECEIVE EMAILS FROM US

If you sign up via any of our opt-in forms, or make a purchase from any of our websites, we will send you emails anywhere from one to three times a week. These emails can be comprised of order confirmation, shipping confirmation, announcement type emails &/or our newsletter and informational emails that we send out regularly. Typically in our emails you will find relevant information that is related to the purchase you made with us, and the newest tips, tricks, and information related to the products you have purchased. Please remember that if you no longer wish to hear from us, you can simply unsubscribe at any time using the link in the footer of any email that we send you.

REPRESENTATIONS; PRODUCT DISCLAIMERS

Novel Health, LLC is committed to improving the well-being of our customers by providing safe and effective wellness products made with the highest quality ingredients. You understand, however, that Our Products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, and Our Products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. The information on this Website or in emails is designed for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care.

You understand that You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting Your doctor or physician. You further understand that this Product is not intended for use by persons under 18 years of age. You also understand that the Product is not intended or to be used to treat any type of medical condition such as obesity. You agree that You either have consulted, or will consult, with a physician or doctor before using any of Our Products, particularly if You suffer from any medical condition including, but not limited to, strokes, high blood pressure, heart, liver, kidney or thyroid disease, diabetes, anemia, depression, anxiety, other psychiatric conditions, a family history of these or other medical conditions, or if taking any prescription, OTC and/or other herbal medications, and You agree that you will cease immediately from taking or using Our Products if You experience any ill effects or unintended side effects of any Product. Novel Health, LLC endeavors to provide You with accurate information about Our Products. You understand and agree that the information Novel Health, LLC conveys about or Products and/or the efficacy of Our Products, is obtained from independent third parties such as news agencies, scientific reports, and scientific / research entities (Third Parties). Novel Health, LLC does not warrant or represent that such information is error-free, and Novel Health, LLC does not represent or endorse any Third Parties or the methods that they use to arrive at their conclusions. All Product specifications, performance data, and other information on the Website is for informational and illustrative purposes only, and do not constitute a guarantee or representation that the Products will conform to such specifications or performance data.

Novel Health, LLC does not warrant or represent that Our Products will provide You with any particular benefits, or that Your results will match those of others who consume Our Products. Individual results will vary from person to person, and are dependent on a variety of factors.

By using the Website, You agree to comply with all applicable laws and regulations of the United States. The material provided on the Website is protected by law including, but not limited to, United States copyright and trademark law and international treaties. Novel Health, LLC makes no representation that materials contained in the Website are appropriate or available for use in other locations and access to them from territories where their contents are illegal is prohibited. Those who choose to access the Website from other locations outside the United States do so at their own initiative and are responsible for compliance with applicable local laws.

YOUR REPRESENTATIONS

You hereby represent and warrant that You are age eighteen (18) or older, that You have read this Agreement and thoroughly understand the terms contained in this Agreement, that any Products You purchase from the Website will be used for Your personal, non-commercial use, and that You will not re-sell, re-distribute or export any Product that You order from the Website. You further represent that Novel Health, LLC has the right to rely upon all information provided to Novel Health, LLC by You, and Novel Health, LLC may contact You by email, telephone or postal mail for any purpose, including but not limited to (i) follow-up calls, (ii) customer satisfaction surveys, and (iii) inquiries about any orders You placed, or considered placing, at or through the Website.

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

The Website and all of its contents including, but not limited to, articles, other text, photographs, illustrations, graphics, product names, designs, logos, and the collection, arrangement, and assembly of all content (collectively, the Intellectual Property) are protected by copyright, trademark, and other laws of the United States, as well as international conventions and the laws of other countries. The Intellectual Property is the exclusive property of Novel Health, LLC or its licensors. No license or ownership rights in or to any of the Intellectual Property are conveyed to You by virtue of this Agreement or by Your purchase of any Product from the Website. The Intellectual Property is protected by the copyright and trademark laws of the United States. Unless otherwise permitted by law, none of the Intellectual Property may be reproduced by You without Novel Health, LLCs prior written permission.

WEBSITE USER CONDUCT AND RESTRICTIONS

You must be 18 years of age or older to access Our Website. As a user of the Website, You agree that in connection with Your use of the Website and the content You will not:

– Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit any content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortuous, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, libelous, invasive of anyones privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically, or otherwise objectionable;

– Conduct Yourself in an inappropriate, offensive, indecent, or vulgar manner while using Our service or Website;

– Use the Website for any unlawful purpose;

– Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit any content that You do not have a right to transmit under any law or under contractual or fiduciary relationships (such as inside information, proprietary, and confidential information learned or disclosed as part of employment relationships or under non-disclosure agreements);

– Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit any content that infringes any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, or other intellectual property right of any party;

– Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, promotional materials, junk mail, spam, chain letters, pyramid schemes, or any other form of solicitation;

– Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit any material that contains software viruses or any other computer code, files, or programs designed to interrupt, destroy, or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment;

– Interfere with or disrupt the Website, the services, the content or servers or networks connected to the Website, the services or the content, or disobey any requirements, procedures, policies, or regulations of networks connected to the Website, the services, and/or the content, the terms of which are incorporated herein;

– Intentionally or unintentionally violate any applicable local, state, national, or international law.

Without the express prior written authorization of Novel Health, LLC, You may not:

– Duplicate the Website (except as expressly provided elsewhere in this Agreement or as permitted by law);

– Create derivative works based on the Website or any of the Intellectual Property;

– Remove any copyright or other proprietary notices from the Website or any of the Intellectual Property contained therein;

– Frame or utilize any framing techniques in connection with the Website or any of the Intellectual Property;

– Use any meta-tags or any other hidden text using the Website™s name or marks;

– Deep-link to any page of the Website;

– Circumvent any encryption or other security tools used anywhere on the Website (including the theft of user names and passwords or using another persons user name and password in order to gain access to a restricted area of the Website);

– Use any data mining, bots, or similar data gathering and extraction tools on the Website;

– Use any device, software or routine to bypass any operational element or to interfere, or attempt to interfere, with the proper working of the Website, server or activities conducted therein; or,

– Take any action that imposes an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on the Website or its network infrastructure.

TERMINATION OF AGREEMENT

This Agreement shall remain in force as long as You access the Website, use any functions or features of the Website, or order anything from the Website. Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to terminate this Agreement without notice and/or refuse to sell to anyone who Novel Health, LLC believes, in Our sole discretion, (i) has violated any of the terms of this Agreement, (ii) is abusing the Products or the services Novel Health, LLC provides, or (iii) is unable to provide Us with sufficient information to allow Us to properly identify the customer’s real name, address, or other contact information.

LINKS

The Website may provide links to other World Wide Web sites or resources. Novel Health, LLC has not reviewed these websites and is not responsible for the accuracy, content, privacy policies or availability of information found on websites that link to or from any Novel Health, LLC Website. Novel Health, LLC cannot ensure that You will be satisfied with any products or services that You purchase from a third-party site that links to or from any Novel Health, LLC Website or third-party content on our sites. Novel Health, LLC does not endorse any of the merchandise, nor has Novel Health, LLC taken any steps to confirm the accuracy or reliability of any of the information contained in such third-party sites or content. Novel Health, LLC does not make any representations or warranties as to the security of any information (including, without limitation, credit card and other personal information) You might be requested to give any third party, and You hereby irrevocably waive any claim against Novel Health, LLC with respect to such sites and third-party content. Novel Health, LLC strongly encourages You to make whatever investigation You feel necessary or appropriate before proceeding with any online or offline transaction with any of these third parties. Neither Novel Health, LLC nor its affiliates, officers, directors, shareholders, employees, independent contractors, telecommunications providers, or agents shall be liable for any damages, including but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of your use of third-party material or third-party sites that are linked to this Website. No link to the Website may be framed to the extent that such frame contains any sponsorship, advertising, or other commercial text or graphics. All links to the Website must be to www. http://www.upgarcinia.com. Deep linking to internal pages of this Website is expressly prohibited without prior written consent from Novel Health, LLC.

FORCE MAJEURE

Novel Health, LLC shall not be responsible for any failure to perform due to unforeseen circumstances or to causes beyond Our reasonable control, including but not limited to: acts of God, such as fire, flood, earthquakes, hurricanes, tropical storms or other natural disasters; war, riot, arson, embargoes, acts of civil or military authority, or terrorism; strikes, or shortages in transportation, facilities, fuel, energy, labor or materials; failure of the telecommunications or information services infrastructure; hacking, SPAM, or any failure of a computer, server or software, for so long as such event continues to delay Novel Health, LLC™s performance.

INDEMNITY

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Novel Health, LLC, its affiliates, officers, directors, shareholders, employees, independent contractors, telecommunications providers, and agents, from and against any and all claims, actions, loss, liabilities, expenses, costs, or demands, including, but not limited to, reasonable legal and accounting fees, which are not limited to Florida™s Statewide Uniform Guidelines For Taxation of Costs in Civil Actions, for all damages directly, indirectly, and/or consequentially resulting or allegedly resulting from Your use, misuse, or inability to use the Website, or Your breach of any of these terms and conditions of this Agreement. We shall promptly notify You by electronic mail of any such claim or suit, and cooperate fully (at Your expense) in the defense of such claim or suit. If we do not hear from You promptly, we reserve the right to defend such claim or suit and seek full recompense from You.

DISPUTE RESOLUTION BY BINDING ARBITRATION

We each agree to first contact each other with any disputes and provide a written description of the problem, all relevant documents/information, and the proposed resolution. You agree to contact Us with disputes by writing to Us at Novel Health, LLC, 1623 Central Ave, Suite 201, Cheyenne WY 82001, USA. We will contact You by letter to Your billing address You provided Us.

Instead Of Suing In Court, We Each Agree To Arbitrate Dispuetes

We each agree to finally settle all disputes (as defined and subject to any specific exceptions below) only by arbitration. In arbitration, there is no judge or jury and review is limited. However, just as a court would, the arbitrator must honor the terms and conditions in this Agreement, the Terms of Use, and the Privacy Statement, and can award the same damages and relief, including any attorney’s fees authorized by law. The arbitrator’s decision and award is final and binding, with some exceptions under the Federal Arbitration Act (FAA), and judgment on the award may be entered in any court with jurisdiction. We also each agree as follows:

Disputes are any claims (including the definition of claims contained in the section Limitation of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty above) or controversies against each other related in any way to this Agreement, the Terms of Use, the Privacy Statement, or Your purchase and use of the Product. This includes claims You bring against Our affiliates, officers, directors, shareholders, employees, independent contractors, telecommunications providers, or agents or other representatives, or that Novel Health, LLC brings against You.

If either Novel Health, LLC or You wants to arbitrate a dispute, We each agree to send written notice to the other providing a description of the dispute, previous efforts to resolve the dispute, all supporting documents/information, and the proposed resolution. Notice to You will be sent to Your billing address that You provided Us and notice to Us will be sent to: Novel Health, LLC, 1623 Central Ave, Suite 201, Cheyenne, WY 82001, USA. We each agree to make attempts to resolve this dispute within forty-five (45) days of receipt of the notice to arbitrate, then We may submit the dispute to formal arbitration.

The FAA applies to this Agreement and arbitration provision. We each agree that the FAA™s provisions, not state law, govern all questions of whether a dispute is subject to arbitration.

The arbitration will be administered by the National Arbitration Forum (NAF) under its arbitration rules. If any NAF rule conflicts with the terms of this Agreement, the terms of this Agreement apply. You can obtain procedures, rules, and fee information from the NAF at 1-800-474-2371 or http://www.adrforum.com.

Unless We each agree otherwise, the Arbitration will be conducted by a single neutral arbitrator and will take place in the state of Your last billing address. The federal or state law that applies to the Agreement will also apply during the Arbitration.

We each agree not to pursue arbitration on a consolidated or classwide basis. We each agree that any arbitration will be solely between You and Novel Health, LLC (not brought on behalf of or together with another individual’s claim). If for any reason any court or arbitrator hold that this restriction in unconscionable or unenforceable, then this agreement to arbitrate does not apply and the dispute must be brought in court.

We each are responsible for our own costs relating to counsel, experts, and witnesses, as well as any other costs relating to the arbitration. However, Novel Health, LLC will cover any arbitration administrative or filing fee above: (a) $25 if You are seeking less than $1,000 from Novel Health, LLC; or (b) the equivalent court filing fees for a court action in the appropriate jurisdiction if you are seeking $1,000 or more from us.

No Class Actions
TO THE EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, WE EACH WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO PURSUE DISPUTES ON A CONSOLIDATED OR CLASSWIDE BASIS; THATIS, TO EITHER JOIN A CLAIM WITH THE CLAIM OF ANY OTHER PERSION OR ENTITY, OR ASSERT A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITYON BEHALF OF ANYONE ELSE IN ANY LAWSUIT, ARBITRATION, OR OTHER PROCEEDING.

No Trial By Jury TO THE EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, WE EACH WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO TRIAL BY JURY IN ANY LAWSUIT, ARBITRATION, OR OTHERPROCEEDING.

GOVERNING LAW

You agree that this Agreement and any issue or dispute arising out of or otherwise related to this Agreement or with Your use of our Website, Intellectual Property, the Terms of Use, the Privacy Statement, or any matter concerning Novel Health, LLC shall be governed exclusively by the laws of the State of Wyoming, excluding its conflict of law provisions.

SEVERABILITY

If for any reason a court of competent jurisdiction finds any provision of this Agreement, the Terms of Use, the Privacy Statement, or any portion thereof, to be invalid or unenforceable, that provision will be enforced to the maximum extent permissible and the remainder of the Agreement, the Terms of Use, and the Privacy Statement will continue in full force and effect.

NO WAIVER

No waiver of or by Novel Health, LLC shall be deemed a waiver of any subsequent default of the same provision of this Agreement. If any term, clause or provision hereof is held invalid or unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction, such invalidity shall not affect the validity or operation of any other term, clause or provision and such invalid term, clause or provision shall be deemed to be severed from this Agreement.

HEADINGS

All headings are solely for the convenience of reference and shall not affect the meaning, construction or effect of this Agreement.

COMPLETE AGREEMENT

This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties with respect to Your access and use of the Website and Your ordering and use of the Products, and supersedes and replaces all prior understandings or agreements, written or oral, regarding such subject matters.

MODIFICATIONS OF AGREEMENT

Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to change any of the provisions posted herein and You agree to review these terms and conditions each time You visit the Website. Your continued use of the Website following the posting of any changes to these terms and conditions constitutes Your acceptance of such changes. Novel Health, LLC does not and will not assume any obligation to provide You with notice of any change to this document. Unless accepted by Novel Health, LLC in writing, these terms and conditions may not be amended by You.