Some days it feels just like this.
- The plug and the USB are always the wrong way.
- The thing you are looking for will always be somewhere else.
- Small, critical things you drop will roll to the most inaccessible place possible, or be lost forever.
- The drill bit you need will be the only one missing.
- Your foot will always find that one Lego™
- Your toast will always land face down, especially when coated with honey.
- Drawer handles will jump out and grab you.
- The child will always start throwing up at 2:00 AM
- Beams will crack you on the head no matter how low you think you’re stooping.
- The cat will vomit in your shoe.
- Furniture legs will inexplicably move when your little toe comes near.
- You will trip on your shadow (Really! there was nothing else there!)
- Dental work will be done poorly, and you will have to go back.
And whether or not you believe in biorhythms, sometimes all of the above seem to happen in a single day.
When it feels like the universe is verifiably out to mess my existence up, I strive to recall the original quote from Jenkin Lloyd Jones:
“There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise….
“Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
Or I eat macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese is good too.
Ṯ͔̪̟̫͇͕̘͕̥͓̞̮̩̝͕̹͈̗́͠h̡͏̜̞̦͔̣̤̲͖͉̗͖͈̘̝͙͕̗͟͡è̦̫͙̪̗̹͙̦̺̺͕͖͞͞ ҉͞͞҉͔̲͔̜̝͚͍̯̙̞͓͔̻͚̤̯̦O̶̦͙̫͔͚̰̳͕͚͙̹͡ĺ̶̰̼̮̗̬̱̻̩̲̺̞͙̣͚̯́́͜d҉̸̨͇̬̮͉̦̫̥̥̪̝̖̠̗̺̮͓͈ ̸͡҉̯̯̼̬͖̲͙̲͚̙͞Ẁ̥͍̜̞͍̙̗͉͉͙̭͔̤͇͈̻̰̖͞ò̴̡͓͈̩̱̪̖̗̀l̵̳͉̼̮̟͞f̷̷̶̡̦͙̫̪̫͓̯̰̮͕̬̟̹͖̤̭̦͚̕ ̶̧̠̰̹̺̜̩͕̳̲̙̲̤̥͞h̢͎̟͖͔̗͎̙͓̹͓̦̱̝̩̯͓̀͟ͅá̡̦͓̮̗̙̜̲̜͢͡͠s̬͔̹̩̦̼͇̭̳͕̖̞̤͈͎͎͞͞ͅͅ ̸̫̩͉̝̰̫̭͇̠̮̘̭̘̪͘̕͢͡s̶̰̼͇͠p̢̡͚͔̣͓͔͔̭̺̝͔̻͕̞͓̱̫̝͘͜ͅͅǫ̸̡̺̪͎̻̣͜k̮̬̳͈͖͘̕͠e҉̦̮̯̲̗̱͍̫̠̘̰̲̪̲͘ͅn̸̸͇̦̖̳̱̗͎͍̤͇̮͙͉̩̬͕͢.̶͖̹̗͍͕̘̰̹͎͚͎̖̮̥́ͅ