Stung by a Facebook Scammer

Back in August of this year, I ordered something that looked very interesting from an ad that appeared on my facebook wall:

“The Grand Orrery model of the solar system depicts the correct relative orbital speeds of the planets plus relative orbital movement of Earth’s moon. Historically, a Grand Orrery showed only the “naked eye” planets out to Saturn, as they were developed in the early 18th century.”

Beautiful product advertised

It looked gorgeous and intricate, and I thought I would love to have this on my desk. The total charge to an outfit called “acfantasy” was $48.06.

What I received today, after a wait of two months (shipped, of course, from China) was this:

Fecal replica – nothing moves

To say that I was stunned by the duplicity would be an understatement. True, I actually got something – a lot of these Chinese wankstains will take your money and not bother to ship anything at all – but sending out a cheap piece of scrap metal like this, which is not worth 49¢ let alone $49.00 is stunning in its audacity.

The company has a website (acfantasy.vip) and a contact email; I immediately shot off a demand for a full refund, but given the nature of the beast I sincerely doubt I will hear anything.

I have ordered things from Facebook ads before and been pleasantly surprised by what I would consider adequate quality and value for the money; this one certainly falls into the “Chinese businesses with all the ethics of a starving honey badger” column.

Facebook needs to do much better in vetting its advertisers. There are far too many scammers out there, about which I have written elsewhere. Despite being careful, I got burned this time. These people can sit on a very fragile glass cactus.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

In Praise of Tabasco Sauce

This post is cobbled together from a couple of different entries at my Livejournal back in 2009

Leigh Callaway, wherever you are, I owe you dinner.¹

The year was 1965, I was 14, and it was my senior year at Camp Wildwood in Bridgton, Maine.²

In this my 4th year at camp, the pinnacle of the year was, prophetically, travel. I sucked at team sports – still do – but loved traveling, camping, the woods and individual challenges; in short, I lived for tripping. Not that kind. Shut up.

My yearbook blurb quoted, “However unorganized his body of knowledge may be, he still is a source of many bits of information and despite his mere 85 lb. bulk, was one of our most energetic and determined trippers.” By the dessicated skull of Mogg’s grandfather, how prophetic was that?

After a 5-day canoe trip to Rangeley Lake early in the summer, six of us, accompanied by several counselors, took another 5-day trip in canoes from Lobster Lake down the Penobscot River to Chesuncook Lake in Maine. It was a trip never to be forgotten.

The Rangeley Lakes complex in western Maine

What does all this have to do with Tabasco Sauce? Hush. We’ll get to that.

The year, as I mentioned, was 1965, and inland Maine was still pretty untouched in most places. It was five days of canoeing, camping, 20 miles of river, camping, 4 miles of rapids, camping, portages, camping, woods, camping, absolutely glacial pools and waterfalls which we reveled in as a test of manhood, more camping, and breathtaking scenery.

Are you starting to see a pattern?

When you camp, you cook whatever you have along. That means a lot of dehydrated chicken soup and noodles carbonara and canned stuff and interesting stuff and things you might never fix at home.

One of the counsellors that accompanied us on this trip was a young man named Leigh Callaway.

Now to a 14-year-old, all our counselors were ageless. If they were counselors, they were adults – so I can’t tell you how old he was at the time, but he was probably not much more than a kid himself. So all I can tell you about him was that he was extremely kind to me (huge points!) and had a BMW motorcycle (more huge points), and that I worshiped the ground he walked on. And he could cook.

One night, whether out of inventiveness or desperation, Leigh fried up a huge cast-iron skillet full of rice until the grains were golden brown, and then filled the pan with water. When the rice was cooked soft, he threw in a can of tuna or three, sauteed it up a bit longer, and then seasoned the whole thing with Tabasco™. Lots and lots of Tabasco™.

Now my mother, bless her soul, took me to many ethnic restaurants in New York while I was young, and one of our favorites was this little Aztec-Mexican hole in the wall called Xochitl.³ They had a hot sauce there that would rival much of what Blair offers (certainly not their 16-million scoville pure capsaicin insanity, but highly effective nonetheless.) I remember that a tiny drop of this stuff on a toothpick, applied to the tongue, was enough to bring tears to the eyes. So I was no stranger to odd and savory foods. (Hm. How that I’m thinking of it, perhaps I should give Mom some credit at my Banquet from Hell.) That said, cooking at home was pretty basic meat-and-potatoes fare, and there wasn’t a lot of exotic stuff around, so I had never used Tabasco™ before.

Well, anyway. When you’ve been paddling a canoe for 12 hours, and you’re exhausted and starving, it doesn’t matter much what’s on the fire. I think if Leigh had fried up a beaver tail, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. As it was, we had fried rice and tuna with Tabasco™ – and I tucked in like a trencherman. Mogg’s teeth – it was so good. It would be easy to say that my enjoyment was born of famine, but given that I have prepared this concoction and many others like it many times in my life thereafter, I can discount that theory. Simply put, I was hooked on Tabasco™.

Now, I like Frank’s Original Red Hot too – it’s got a nice flavor, and I always keep a bottle of it handy, but there’s something about Tabasco™ that just can’t be matched.⁴ Yes, I’m well and truly addicted.

So Leigh, wherever you are, know that you made a huge impression on me that summer, and your influence is still being felt *mops brow* 44 years later.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

PS – I still remember the taste of black coffee sweetened with maple syrup, too…


Footnotes

¹ Leigh, bless his heart, saw this post and actually responded with a bit of information about his subsequent experiences. He recommended that since I loved Tabasco I should try Sambal Oelek, an Indonesian chili paste that apparently puts Sriracha to shame. I was grateful for the recommendation, but would have loved some hint about how to contact him. Which he did not provide, the rascal. I would have loved to renew the acquaintance and catch up in person.

² Camp Wildwood is a superb boys’ camp run – at the time – by Leo Mayer and Ed Hartman, which is still operating in Bridgton, Maine, although it has passed through other owners since then.

³ Another one was “La Fonda del Sol”, a very upscale place which I loved eating at. Now gone. *snif* But there are some memories here.

⁴ In fact, as I was typing my earlier post at Livejournal and thinking about a nice dish of fettucine with tuna and hot sauce, my ears were burning and I was experiencing all the symptoms of a good solid capsaicin flush. Which confirmed my theory. I love hot food; there’s nothing like a good capsaicin burn. The last two times I had prepared spicy foods, though, I had a very unusual experience – the flush to the face began as soon as I had opened the bottle of hot sauce – and hadn’t even eaten it yet. The first time it happened, I thought I was “imagining things.” But it happened again… as I was liberally lacing some burritos with Tabasco, I started getting the burning and vascular dilation that I always experience with certain peppers – very much like a Niacin flush, if you’ve ever experienced that. And, what’s even stranger, I experienced a repeat as I typed this. Just thinking about it was sufficient to recall the physiological response.

Now that’s just weird. Maybe if I salivate enough, I can get my doorbell to ring. 

New York’s Chinatown Fair and the Animated Dragon

I grew up in New York City in the ’50s and ’60s. Much has gone since that time, but my memories include hings I deeply miss about New York in my early days:

  • The myriad small businesses instead of brass-and-glass
  • Little Italy full of Italians, and the Feasts of San Antonio and San Gennaro
  • Yellow Cabs with huge back seats and those little jumpseats (Yes, unsafe, but they were so fun)
  • Air-conditioned movie theaters with giant screens and velvet curtains where you could stay all day for 50¢ and watch a cartoon, a short subject, a newsreel, and the main feature over and over again
  • the 42nd Street Subway Stations with Red and Blue lights guiding you to your line of choice, IRT, BMT, or IND, or the Shuttle
  • Underground OJ bars and other odd little shops in the subways such as Al Stevenson’s magic store (otherwise known as the Wizard’s Workshop)
  • Hole-in-the-wall pizza joints where you could order pizza by the “Slice!” for 15¢.
  • The Staten Island ferry for a nickel
  • Christmas trees up and down Park Avenue, and the stars that would twinkle on the 666 building
  • the Lord and Taylor Christmas windows
  • And so many more…

But one of my most indelible memories is from Chinatown, where my mother would take me on occasion. There were myriad stores and restaurants selling the ubiquitous Chinese back-scratchers, finger traps, and wonderful puzzle boxes, some of which I wish I still had.

Alamy stock photo of a Chinese puzzle box, very similar to one I once owned.

But the most wondrous thing to my young eyes was the Chinatown Fair.

Before it became an electronic game arcade, it featured dancing chickens, tic-tac-toe chickens (you can read about these at Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York), and the amazing animatronic dragon.

8 Mott Street, Chinatown, New York, New York, USA — Performing Chicken in New York Arcade — Image by © Adam Woolfitt/CORBIS

Sadly, no photos of the latter wonder appear to have been saved to the Internet as of this moment, but who knows? Perhaps someone will come across a picture in their old archives and post it in the future. If you happen to stumble across this blog post and have such a photo, please let me know; I would love to feature it here.

At any rate, you would walk up to this row of little windows, each with a coin slot for quarters; drop one in and your window would open, and below you was this most amazing animated dragon which would move and roar at you. Commenter “Donald” at the website Scouting New York had this to say, which syncs with my own memories perfectly:

Yes!! The dragon peep show…. why doesn’t anybody ever mention the dragon peep show? I thought that was the most bizarre “game” I ever saw… you’d drop a quarter in and a sliding plastic window would rise, exposing a glass window underneath (similar to a peep show booth) and literally laying on the basement floor – you’d see this huge animatronic dragon moving it’s head and tail – and from a speaker would blare the soundtrack from an old Godzilla movie… that familiar Godzilla roar. Now the dragon you were looking at and the Godzilla you were hearing of course had nothing to do with each other – but that just added to the cheezy entertainment value of the whole thing. I thought it was great… but nobody ever mentions it. I ALWAYS hear about the Tic Tac Toe Chicken… but never my old dragon friend.

A later photo of The Chinatown Fair at night, from The Chinatown Fair Archive.

The Fair later became a video arcade, but closed in 2011. Some other great memories are archived at Scouting New York, The Gothamist, Ganker, and Huffpost; apparently the arcade featured in a 2015 documentary called The Lost Arcade; in its later years it “the arcade became a shelter to a community as diverse as the city surrounding it and changed lives in doing so.” (IMDB)

According to The Verge, the arcade re-opened in 2012, but the reviews were mixed. Apparently it’s still there, but without that amazing dragon it will never be the same for me.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

GPS guidance has a Waze to go

I love Waze™ as a driving app. 99.5% of the time it gets me where I want to go without difficulty, and provides lots of useful information along the way.

But it has quirks.

Almost invariably, when I enter a destination from a position in a parking lot somewhere, Waze will calculate the route as though I want to go the direction I’m facing.

Example 1:

Here I’m facing north, parked at home – but to get to my destination, I need to drive 3 miles south to Route 1. Waze sends me six miles out of my way, just to make a U-turn.

Example 2:

If I were to head south to Route 1, the distance would be 6.8 miles instead of 13, and 10 minutes instead of 19. In short, Waze is doubling my distance and drive time simply because my nose is pointing north when I input the destination.

This happens far too often for comfort. If I’m in an unfamiliar location parked in a strip mall, for example, it seems like 4 times out of 5, Waze will have me turn the wrong way coming out of the parking lot, which will result in a ten-mile detour just to go back the other way or a longer, more convoluted route to my destination.

In the words of Columbo, “Oh, just one more thing:” I drive from Maine to Boston or New York often, and there’s a huge stretch of road along the way where Waze tells me “Searching for Network,” even though Google Maps has no problem in the same regions. I don’t get why this is an issue.

These are without question first-world problems, but I use this app so heavily – not having the inborn sense of direction that the Goodwoman of the House possesses – that it causes me a lot of stress. And I have not yet figured out how to get this kind of general feedback to anyone at Waze who cares. But on the plus side, for my own needs there’s no better directional guidance app out there.

The Old Wolf has ranted.

Facebook Login Scam

The email above was in my spam folder, hence automatically suspicious. If you click on that “to cONTACT” button, you can see that the mail was not sent by Facebook but by someone at “beratinind.co.uk.” Maybe. That was probably spoofed as well.

Whether you “Report the user” or “Yes, me” (note the poor grammar), you will be sending email to this list of people:

PeterQuinn615@outlook.com; zikorugbyman87@gmail.com; frank.lion92@gmail.com; paulm8756@gmail.com; akilzachary3@gmail.com; frank.kolar@aol.com; brandon.mathis2@aol.com; addod.dghi@aol.com; zachary.akili20@gmail.com; saifalik654@gmail.com; manuchkacharm@gmail.com; anucharma04@gmail.com; apex.garcinia@gmail.com; skountnh01@gmail.com; jilaliikram467@gmail.com; selmajaydonqa@gmail.com; toddgarciaytt@gmail.com; johncardhg@gmail.com; lindaarreyytt@gmail.com; shelleyjamesvr@gmail.com; jackdodos18@gmail.com; benlysara1@yahoo.com; angiefieldni@gmail.com; jamessmiller2017@gmail.com; oliviajimmybr@gmail.com; feryoussra@gmail.com; crowellmaryjh@gmail.com; hamptonbenew@gmail.com; xaletoclaimservices8@gmail.com; jackdone974@gmail.com; lendingwinship@gmail.com; mariejfried@yahoo.com; zakary.akeli@gmail.com; elian-barr@hotmail.com; benlysara2@yahoo.com; ronnie.lamb11@gmail.com; zakaria.elakili2@gmail.com; poppyevie785@gmail.com; zakaria.elakili3@gmail.com; elghandour.ayman007@gmail.com; zakaria.elakili4@gmail.com; xidemotu1236@yahoo.com; goku_zakaria@yahoo.fr; belf.mana@gmail.com; skounza1991@hotmail.com; zaach2016@yandex.com; fighting.life@hotmail.com; iliana.canon@gmail.com; gary-ingram1235@hotmail.com; justin-merrill@hotmail.com; zachary-es@outlook.es; zachrary19332@outlook.cz; zachary-de@outlook.de; skounzaneg2@outlook.com; skounzabox0@hotmail.com; amelia-clemons@outlook.fr; zachary-sosa@outlook.fr; CarlBell528@outlook.com; support@itangerstory.site; CarlBell528@outlook.com; BorisEllison940@outlook.com

And who knows what you will be sending? Or what they will do with whatever you send them? At the very least, you are confirming to all these people that you are a live, valid email address and will thus be guaranteed to receive an even greater flood of spam and scam emails.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Humor: The Purpose of Tools

Tools and their Purposes

Source: Unknown. Collected via Internet or email in 2004

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays  is used as a kind of divining rod to locate really expensive parts not  far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of  cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well  on boxes containing seats and jackets

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in  their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for  drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes  to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board  principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable  motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more  dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is  available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the  palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various  flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the  grease inside a brake drum you’re trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and  motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2  socket you’ve been searching for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching  flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the  chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that  freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere  under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint  whorls and hard earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to  say, “Ouc….”

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a vehicle to the ground after  you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack  handle firmly under the front fender.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a vehicle upward  off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing Douglas Fir wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another  hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for  spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes  and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile  strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to  disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool  that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end  without the handle.

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric  acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining  that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you suspected.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic’s own tanning booth. Sometimes called a  drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, “the sunshine vitamin,”  which is not otherwise found under a car or motorcycle at night.  Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light  bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used  during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often  dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style  paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used,  as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a  coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into  compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench  that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in  Springfield, and rounds them off.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or  bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

In honor of Spider-man Day

I had no idea there was such a thing, but I encountered this at Imgur and after using up a box of tissues I thought I’d like to share it, just in case others have too much Kleenex™ on hand.

A touching story with lovely artwork, credits in the first frame: Peter David, Colleen Doran, José Villarrubia, Todd Klein, and Stephen Wacker.

What can I say, except “You’re welcome”?

Edit: It turns out that Leah Adezio was a real person, and a friend to Peter David. Some backstory is here, which makes this lovely tribute all the more poignant. You can also visit her FindAGrave memorial.

Darn onions.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Those days were not so nice.

Found this at a Facebook group dedicated to outstanding illustration.

The picture is beautiful. The colonialist sentiment, not so much. But that was Kipling’s day.

I recall with both amusement and horror browsing in a used bookstore somewhere (I think it was San Francisco), and coming across an English-Hindustani phrasebook written for British soldiers billeted in India. I swear on a stack of Bibles I’m not making this up: One of the phrases was, “You black bastard, you call these boots 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛?” I wish I had bought it, just so I could get past the “pix or it didn’t happen” crowd, but I remember being (even in the ’90s) rocked to my very core to find something like that. 😳

We have come a long way. But we still have a very long way to go.

Critical Race Theory is very simple, but because of political (and prejudicial) undercurrents in certain segments of our society, it is widely misunderstood and misrepresented.

The Thermonuclear Bowel Evacuation Formerly Disgracing the Oval Office is quoted as having said,

“Students in our universities are inundated with critical race theory. This is a Marxist doctrine holding that America is a wicked and racist nation, that even young children are complicit in oppression, and that our entire society must be radically transformed.”

45’s Remarks at White House History Conference, September 17, 2020

This is not Critical Race Theory. It is pushback from a white supremacist world view, trying to make something important and human into something frightening and oppressive.

To teach that racism is still baked into our social system, and to serve as a catalyst for change toward a more equal and representative system (in other words, to make America the land of equality and equal opportunity that it has long trumpeted itself to be) is the most peaceful and human thing I could imagine.

Children – and adults – need to understand and see where and how racism operates to perpetuate the lie of Alexander H. Stephens, vice president of the Confederacy, to the effect that:

“Our new government[‘s] foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.”[2]

For the most part, we have come past the days when black people could be lynched by white mobs with impunity. But if you read the news, it’s hard to ignore the fact that racism and outright homicide is still endemic in many of the police forces of our nation.

George Floyd’s homicide was widely publicized, but in terms of endemic racism, it’s only the most current tip of the iceberg.

This is not OK, and no amount of pearl-clutching and flag-wrapped pushback or “blue lives matter” wailing can make it so.

But it’s not just policing and inequity in incarceration and a failed drug war and an oppression campaign pushed by the Nixon administration. Racism touches almost everything in obvious and not so obvious ways.

  • Access to equal housing.
  • Access to equal financing.
  • Access to equal education.
  • Access to equal employment.
  • Access to equal relationships.
  • Access to equal voting privileges.
  • And the list goes on.

Racism taints it all. If you’re black, or brown, or yellow – you and your ancestry have certainly encountered this, and continue to do so, in myriad ways that would not even be evident to someone born and raised in white privilege unless they have made a concerted effort to be aware of history.

America is not a wicked country, or a Marxist country, and Critical Race Theory doesn’t make any attempt to paint it as such. America is a human country – filled with brave and noble men and women who strove to make it a great nation for all. But it’s also a country that made mistakes, some of which have echoes which continue to ripple down to the present day. And it’s those mistakes that people of good will seek to recognize, and enshrine in our official chronicles, and remediate in the fastest and best way possible.

I applaud the idea.

This is not a matter of debate. It’s a reality. Those who have eyes to see will see, and do their best to make a difference.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Fake Celebrity Endorsements for CBD Oil

This kind of thing enrages me.

It’s been going on for a long time, and it continues to spread via social media. And today I’m looking directly at Facebook, which seems happy to take advertising money for all sorts of spurious enterprises (see my earlier post about Chinese bottom-feeders trying to sell counterfeit Morgan dollar collections).

Today this showed up as a “promoted post” in my Facebook feed (on my Android, it should be noted; I use FBP on the desktop and almost never see an ad there):

“After loosing temper” was my first red flag. Great Mogg’s titanium teeth, people, learn the difference between “loose” and “lose.” But it turns out that the page you get to has nothing to do with the stated headline.

(I don’t even know if Artsy On knows anything about this. They seem to be selling books, but I frankly don’t have the time or energy to do a deep dive into their website metadata. It’s possible someone added a malicious link to their website and is using it to redirect to the seller’s page.)

If you hover, the link is listed as:

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.artsyon.com%2Fnews%2Fsure-behavior-in-relationships%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0Eo2af2kqkNJ8wqg1r0znQUTBKBTppmYUUHlhPBCxsfeItT5-w-09plxI&h=AT3mQSgsZBHLOkDAcI5TvCnUi8Opo0H2VaNwgjOkDCux-vqA3ARB5yZCMYO2TrYwQCO27hJYRa-V5TlZb-7AqHj99md2idlAXWQPEdGr5fnTiiwixBIQ-VYwDkD_n4ZoYZN6pJx1YHCUlVw8sw&__tn__=%2CmH-R&c[0]=AT1LTRiOQCEjWHJNeZZWjDGzl-JQb5g2dv6dpRIQ88dt95O3_J5A8Nx9fYhP83_8pfh2lyUdHNERTrLBoFJS0OodULx3TpYYlYArzXUaK5mZu57pzJEchT7XuPycn7SgbE5oo3vixHXKTiJgX3gbgclfew

although the first bit about Facebook is invisible. But if you click the link, it takes you to:

https://flower-halibut-tb68.squarespace.com/news/sure-behavior-in-relationships

which is a farticle (fake article) implying that Whoopi is endorsing or promoting this garbage called Cheyenne Valley CBD Oil:

The advertisement is designed to look like a Time Magazine article. It’s not. And Ms. Goldberg does not promote or endorse this product. At all. In any way. The whole thing is made up out of whole cloth as an affiliate marketing scam to get you to the marketing page for this questionable product. ¹

The second paragraph in this scammy advertisement reads like this:

“When I started this whole thing back in 2020, it really was just a part-time passion project and a way for me to give back. After being given so much, I figured there was no better time to make Cheyenne Valley CBD Oil available to everyone, as it can help thousands of people experience life pain-free and live much happier lives.”

But in this article from healthmj, we see a very similar quote:

“This was a really, really difficult decision for me. When I started this whole thing back in 2015, it really was just a part-time passion project and a way for me to give back. Now here we are almost five years later, and Green CBD Oil has steadily grown into a full-fledged business that’s helped thousands of people become pain-free and much happier. My line gives me a chance to do something bigger than music, and I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I let that opportunity pass me by.”

Blake Shelton doesn’t endorse any sort of CBD Oil. Neither does Tom Hanks, for that matter, and he says so in no uncertain terms. These bottom-feeders will use anyone’s name to get people to their sales page. Once you get there, it’s the same tired old format that I’ve written about multiple times:

Of course, this is just the hook; buried deeply in the Terms and Conditions which almost nobody ever reads, is the catch:

Important Notes

Failure to cancel within the trial period will result in our subscription program and further charges.

The trial begins the same day you order. It doesn’t begin when you receive the trial in the mail.

Applicable sales tax may be applied to all charges.

We allow only 1 trial purchase per household.

As part of ordering a trial, you agree to join a recurring membership plan. You can modify your subscription anytime by contacting us.

This is not a free sample offer. We only offer as a trial, which turns into a subscription or individual bottles.

The most efficient method of contacting us is through care@buycheyennevalley.com. Please provide your name and phone number and we will get back to you as soon as possible

The trial period begins on day of order. To clarify, it does not begin when you receive the product.

By placing your order today you’ll be shipped a 30 day supply of Cheyenne Valley CBD Oil for only $6.89. This gives you the opportunity to try this remarkable product so you can come to a decision for yourself if this is the right product for you. If you are dissatisfied with the product, you must call 8774388714 within 14 days trial plus 3 days shipping (total of 17 days) from today to cancel your membership and avoid being charged of $99.89, which is the full price of the product. If you are satisfied with the product, you need do nothing else and upon the expiration of the trial period, you will be billed $99.89. The total monthly subscription charge of $99.89 includes shipping and handling for the full cost of the product. Thirty days after your trial period ends and every thirty days thereafter, we will send you a fresh monthly supply at the low price of $99.89 per until you cancel your membership. There’s no obligation and you may cancel your membership at any time by calling 8774388714 or by sending an email to care@buycheyennevalley.com. The trial period begins from the day of ordering the product.

Address the return package to:
PO Box 15911, Tampa, FL 33684

Everything about these scammy, barely-legal offers is based on lies. The celebrity endorsement, publication by a major company (TIME magazine, in this case), the price of the offer, the claim of “extremely high demand” and “limited stock,” all of the supposed endorsements from “satisfied customers” – it’s all lies. All lies.

So even if you take the bait, bite the hook, get reeled in, and pay $100 a month(!) for a tiny bottle of who-knows-what, what kind of quality do you think you might be getting from a company that resorts to such reprehensible tricks to get your business? I wouldn’t use it if you paid me a Benjamin.

Protect yourself from scams and don’t give your money to any company that does business this way. And please educate your loved ones who may be vulnerable to such tactics.

And Facebook, take note. Stop accepting ads from this kind of scammer. It makes you look worse than you already do.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


Footnotes

¹ In the interest of full clarity:

For several years, Ms. Goldberg was a partner in a website called Whoopi and Maya, which was focused on providing high-quality medical cannabis to women as a relief for menstrual cramps. When she and her partner came to a parting of the ways, the business was dissolved.

There are rumors that she may be involved in launching a new cannabis-related enterprise. Whether this comes to fruition remains to be seen. All that said, she does not endorse this scummy “Cheyenne Valley CBD Oil” and never has.

As for me, I’m looking forward to seeing her as Guinan in the 2nd Season of Star Trek: Picard.

A reading list of great books

The next time you want something of substance to read, here’s a list of 876 books compiled from a couple of lists I found on the Internet – one a list of librarian’s recommendations, another of 500 great books, and a few I have added myself. I only deleted one because I thought it was trash, and was not sure what it was doing on any list of good literature.

As for the rest, you get to judge; but while compiling this, I certainly saw a good number that I have read, and many that I am ashamed I have not yet read and would like to.

Enjoy.

Edit: I will link back here to another list I published a couple of years ago, “Fifteen Titles.” You will find many duplicates on that list, but it was compiled with a different set of criteria. Nevertheless, it contains many worthwhile and impactful works.

1984George Orwell
2666Roberto Bolano
$2.00 a DayKathryn Edin
12 Million Black VoicesRichard Wright
1Q84Haruki Murakami
84, Charing Cross RoadHelene Hanff
Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, TheSherman Alexie
Accidental Tourist, TheAnne Tyler
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, TheMark Twain
Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green, TheCuthbert Bede
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, TheSir Arthur Conan Doyle
Adventures of Tom Sawyer, TheMark Twain
Aeneid, TheVirgil
Age of Innocence, TheEdith Wharton
Agnes GreyAnne Brontë
Alchemist, ThePaulo Coelho
Alexander HamiltonRon Chernow
Alice in WonderlandLewis Carroll
All Creatures Great and Small (Series)James Herriot
All of a Kind FamilySidney Taylor
All Passion SpentVita Sackville-West
All Quiet on the Western FrontErich Maria
All the King’s MenRobert Penn Warren
All the Light We Cannot SeeAnthony Doerr
Along Came a SpiderJames Patterson
Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, TheMichael Charon
American Born ChineseGene Luen Yang
American GodsNeil Gaiman
American PastoralPhilip Roth
AmericanahChimamanda Ngozi Adichie
An American TragedyTheodore Dreiser
An Ember in the AshesSabaa Tahir
An Old-Fashioned GirlLouisa May Alcott
An Unsuitable Job for a WomanP. D. James
Ancillary JusticeAnn Leckie
And the Band Played OnRandy Shilts
And Then All Hell Broke LooseRichard Engel
And Then There Were NoneBy Agatha Christie
Angela’s AshesFrank McCourt
Animal DreamsBarbara Kingsolver
Animal FarmGeorge Orwell
Anna KareninaLeo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: the Diary of a Young GirlAnne Frank
Anne of Green GablesL.M. Montgomery
Antony and CleopatraWilliam Shakespeare
Arabian NightsTahir Shah
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.New Jersey
ArielSylvia Plath
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the UniverseBenjamin Alire Saenz
Around the World in Eighty DaysJules Verne
Art of Fielding, TheChad Harbach
Art of Hearing Heartbeats, TheJan-Philippe Sendker
As I Lay DyingWilliam Faulkner
As You Like ItWilliam Shakespeare
Assistant, TheBernard Malamud
Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, TheMatthew Tobin Anderson
Atlas ShruggedAyn Rand
AtonementIan Mcewan
AttachmentsRainbow Rowell
Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein, TheGertrude Stein
Autobiography of Malcolm X, TheMalcolm X
Awakening, TheKate Chopin
Babe: The Gallant PigDick King-Smith
Bad Beginning, TheLemony Snicket
Bad FeministRoxane Gay
Bad News for OutlawsVaunda Micheaux Nelson
Balzac and the Little Chinese SeamstressDai Sijie
Bastard Out of CarolinaDorothy Allison
Beautiful and Damned, TheF. Scott Fitzgerald
Beautiful RuinsJess Walter
Because of Winn DixieKate diCamillo
BecomingMichelle Obama
Beekeeper’s Apprentice, TheLaurie R. King
Bel CantoAnn Patchett
Bell Jar, TheSylvia Plath
BelovedToni Morrison
BeowulfThe Beowulf Poet
Between the World and MeTa-Nehisi Coates
Big Sleep, TheRaymond Chandler
BintiNnedi Okorafor
Birds of AmericaJohn James Audubon
BirdsongSebastian Faulks
Black BeautyAnna Sewell
Black BoyRichard Wright
Black Leopard, Red WolfMarlon James
Bleak HouseCharles Dickens
Bless Me, UltimaRudolpho Anaya
Blind Assassin, TheMargaret Atwood
Blood MeridianCormac McCarthy
Blue Castle, TheL.M. Montgomery
Blue Sword / the Hero and the Crown, TheRobin McKinley
Bluest Eye, TheToni Morrison
Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom WolfeTom Wolfe
Book of Lost Things, TheJohn Connolly
Book of Three, TheLloyd Alexander
Book Thief, TheMarkus Zusak
BorderlandsGloria E. Anzaldúa
Born ConfusedTanuja Desai Hidier
Born to RunChristopher McDougall
BossypantsTina Fey
Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen OyeyemiHelen Oyeyemi
Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, TheDaniel James Brown
Brave New WorldAldous Huxley
Breakfast at Tiffany’sTruman Capote
Breakfast of ChampionsKurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Brick LaneMonica Ali
Brideshead RevisitedEvelyn Waugh
Bridge to TerabithiaKatherine Paterson
Bridget Jones’s DiaryHelen Fielding
Brief History of Seven Killings, AMarlon James
Brief History of Time, AStephen Hawking
Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, TheJunot Diaz
Brokeback MountainAnnie Proulx
Brothers Karamazov, TheFyodor Dostoyevsky
Bury My Heart at Wounded KneeDee Brown
Call of the Wild, TheJack London
CandideVoltaire
Canterbury Tales, TheGeoffrey Chaucer
Canterville Ghost, TheOscar Wilde
Captain Corelli’s MandolinLouis de Berniere
Carry onRainbow Rowell
Casino RoyaleIan Fleming
Casual Vacancy, TheJ.K. Rowling
Catch-22Joseph Heller
Catcher in the Rye, TheJ.D. Salinger
Catherine, Called BirdyKaren Cushman
Cat’s CradleKurt Vonnegut
Change of Climate, AHilary Mantel
Charlie and the Chocolate FactoryRoald Dahl
Charlotte’s WebE.B. White
Children of Blood and BoneTomi Adyemi
Chocolate War, TheRobert Cormier
Christmas Carol, ACharles Dickens
CinderMarissa Meyer
ClarissaSamuel Richardson
Clear Light of DayAnita Desai
Cloud AtlasDavid Mitchell
Cloud AtlasDavid Mitchell
Code of the Woosters, TheWodehouse
Cold Comfort FarmStella Gibbons
Cold Comfort FarmStella Gibbons
Cold MountainCharles Frasier
Collected Poems of Langston Hughes, TheLangston Hughes
Collected Stories of Eudora WeltyEudora Welty
Color of Magic, TheTerry Pratchett
Color of Water, TheJames McBride
Color Purple, TheAlice Walker
Comedy of Errors, TheWilliam Shakespeare
Common SenseThomas Paine
Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales, TheBrothers Grimm
Complete Stories, TheFlannery O’Connor
Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe, TheEdgar Allan Poe
Confederacy of Dunces, AJohn Kennedy Toole
Confessions of a ShopaholicSophie Kinsella
Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, AMark Twain
Constellation of Vital Phenomena, AAnthony Marra
Corrections, TheJonathan Franzen
Count of Monte Cristo, TheAlexandre Duman
Cow-Tail Switch, and Other West African Stories, TheHarold Courlander
CranfordElizabeth Gaskell
CrankEllen Hopkins
Crazy Rich AsiansKevin Kwan
Cricket in Times Qquare, AGeorge Selden
Crime and PunishmentFyodor Dostoyevsky
Crocodile on the SandbankElizabeth Peters
Crucible, TheArthur Miller
Crying of Lot 49, TheRobert E. Kohn
Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, TheMark Haddon
Cutting for StoneAbraham Verghese
Da Vinci Code, TheDan Brown
Daisy Jones & the SixTaylor Jenkins Reid
Daisy MillerHenry James
Daniel DerondaGeorge Eliot
Dark Is Rising, TheSusan Cooper
Darkly Dreaming DexterJeff Lindsay
David CopperfieldCharles Dickens
Day of the Triffids, TheJohn Wyndham
Dead WakeErik Larson
Death at an Early AgeJonathan Kozol
Death Comes for the ArchbishopWilla Cather
Death in the Family, AJames Agee
Death in VeniceThomas Mann
Death of a SalesmanArthur Miller
Death of the Heart, TheElizabeth Bowen
Decameron, TheGiovanni Boccaccio
Decline and FallEvelyn Waugh
Dept. of SpeculationJenny Offill
Deptford Trilogy, TheRobertson Davies
Devil in a Blue DressWalter Mosley
Devil in the White City, TheErik Larson
Diary of Anne Frank, TheAnne Frank
Dirty Job, AChristopher Moore
Divergent (Series)Veronica Roth
Divine Comedy, TheDante Alighieri
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?Philip K. Dick
Doctor FaustusChristopher Marlowe
Doctor ZhivagoBoris Pasternak
Don QuixoteMiguel De Cervantes
DraculaBram Stoker
Dream of the Red Chamber, TheCao Xueqin
Dreaming in CubanCristina Garcia
DreamlandSam Quinones
DuneFrank Herbert
East of EdenJohn Steinbeck
Eat Pray LoveElizabeth Gilbert
Edwardians, TheVita Sack-Ville West
Egypt Game, TheZilpha Keatley Snyder
Eight, TheKatherine Neville
Eleanor & ParkRainbow Rowell
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely FineGail Honeyman
Elegance of the Hedgehog, TheMuriel Barberry
Ella EnchantedGail Carson Levine
Emperor of All Maladies, The: A Biography of CancerSiddhartha Mukhe
Empire FallsRichard Russo
Ender’s GameOrson Scott Card
English Patient, TheMichael Ondaatje
Epic of Gilgamesh, TheUnknown
Ethan FromeEdith Wharton
Everything I Never Told YouCeleste Ng
Everything Is IlluminatedJonathan Saffron Foer
EvictedMatthew Desmond
Excellent WomenBarbara Pym
Extremely Loud and Incredibly CloseJonathan Saffron Foer
Fahrenheit 451Ray Bradbury
Fairie Queen, TheEdmund Spenser
Fall of the House of Usher, TheEdgar Allan Poe
FangirlRainbow Rowell
Far From the Madding CrowdThomas Hardy
Farewell to Arms, AErnest Hemingway
Farmer BoyLaura Ingalls Wilder
Fault in Our Stars, TheJohn Green
FaustJohann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Fear and Loathing in Las VegasHunter S. Thompson
Female Brain, TheLouann Brizendine
Fifth Season, TheN. K. Jemisin
Fight ClubChuck Palahniuk
Fine Balance, ARohinton Mistry
FingersmithSarah Waters
Fire Next Time, TheJames Baldwin
Five People You Meet in Heaven, TheMitch Albom
Flowers for AlgernonDaniel Keyes
For Whom the Bell TollsErnest Hemingway
Forgotten GardenKate Morton
Forsyte Saga, TheJohn Galsworthy
Foundation (Entire Series)Isaac Asimov
FrankensteinMary Shelley
Franny and ZooeyJ.D. Salinger
Freak the MightyRodman Philbrick
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop CafeFannie Flagg
From Russia With LoveIan Fleming
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. FrankweilerE. L. Konigsburg
Fun HomeAlison Bechdel
Game of Thrones, A (Series)George R. R. Martin
Garden of Earthly Delights, AJoyce Carol Oates
General in His Labyrinth, TheMarquez
Gentleman in Moscow, AAmor Towles
GerminalÉmile Zola
Gilda Stories, TheJewelle Gomez
GileadMarilynne Robinson
Girl Could Stand Up, ALeslie Marshall
Girl on the Train, ThePaula Hawkins
Girl With a Pearl EarringTracy Chevalier
Girl With the Dragon Tatoo, TheStieg Larson
Giver, TheLois Lowry
Glass Castle, TheJeannette Walls
Glass Menagerie, TheTennessee Williams
Go Tell It on the MountainJames Baldwin
God of Small Things, TheArundhati Roy
Golden Bowl, TheHenry James
Golden Compass, ThePhillip Pullman
Golden Notebook, TheDoris Lessing
Goldfinch, TheDonna Tartt
Goldfinch, TheDonna Tartt
Golem and the Djinni, TheHelene Wecker
Gone GirlGillian Flynn
Gone With the WindMargaret Mitchell
Good Earth, ThePearl S. Buck
Good Man Is Hard to Find, AFlannery O’Connor
Good Master, TheKate Seredy
Good OmensTerry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
Good Soldier, TheFord Madox Ford
Good TalkMira Jacob
Good WivesLouisa May Alcott
Grapes of Wrath, TheJohn Steinbeck
Grave Talent, ALaurie R. King
Gravity’s RainbowThomas Pinchon
Great ExpectationsCharles Dickens
Great Gatsby, TheF. Scott Fitzgerald
GrendelJohn Gardner
Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, TheMary Ann Shaffer; ‎Annie Barrows
Gulag Archipelago, TheAleksandr Slozhenitsyn
Gulliver’s TravelsJonathan Swift
Gunslinger, TheStephen King
Half of a Yellow SunChimamanda Ngozi Adichie
HamletWilliam Shakespeare
Handmaid’s Tale, TheMargaret Atwood
HangsamanJackson
Hans Christian Anderson Fairy TalesHans Christian Anderson
Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World Haruki MurakamiHaruki Murakami
Haroun & the Sea of StoriesSalman Rushdie/Paul BirkbeckIllus
Harriet the SpyLouise Fitzhugh
Harry Potter (Series)J. K. Rowling
HatchetGary Paulsen
Haunting of Hill House, TheShirley Jackson
Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, TheCarson McCullers
Heart of DarknessJoseph Conrad
Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, ADave Eggers
HeartburnNora Ephron
Help, TheKathryn Stockett
Henry IV, Part IWilliam Shakespeare
Henry IV, Part IIWilliam Shakespeare
Henry VWilliam Shakespeare
HerzogSaul Bellow
High FidelityNick Hornby
Hillbilly ElegyJD Vance
His Dark Materials – Philip PullmanPhilip Pullman
Historian, TheElizabeth Kostova
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, TheDouglas Adams
Hobbit, TheJ.R.R. Tolkien
HolesLouis Sachar
HomegoingYaa Gyasi
HopscotchJulio Cortázar
Hot Zone, TheRichard Preston
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and SweetJamie Ford
Hound of the Baskervilles, TheSir Arthur Conan Doyle
Hour of the Star, TheClarice Lispector
Hours, TheMichael Cunningham
House Made of DawnN. Scott Momaday
House of LeavesMark Z. Danielewski
House of Mirth, TheEdith Wharton
House of Sand and FogAndre Dubus III
House of the ScorpionNancy Farmer
House of the Seven GablesNathaniel Hawthorne
House of the Spirits, TheIsabel Allende
House on Mango Street, TheSandra Cisneros
HousekeepingMarilynne Robinson
How Green Was My ValleyRichard Llewellyn
How I Live NowMeg Rosoff
How the Garcia Girls Lost Their AccentsJulia Alvarez
How the Other Half LivesJacob Riis
How to Be a VictorianRuth Goodman
How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional UniverseCharles Yu
Howards EndE.M. Forster
HowlAllen Ginsberg
Howl’s Moving CastleDiana Wynne Jones
Human Comedy, TheWilliam Saroyan
Hunchback of Notre Dame, TheVictor Hugo
Hunger Games, The (Series)Suzanne Collins
Husband’s Secret, TheLiane Moriarty
I Am MalalaMalala Yousafzai
I Am the CheeseRobert Cormier
I Am the MessengerMarcus Zusak
I Capture the CastleDodie Smith
I Know This Much Is TrueWally Lamb
I Know Why the Caged Bird SingsMaya Angelou
I Never Promised You a Rose GardenJoanne Greenberg
If on a Winters Night a TravellerVintage Calvino
Iliad, TheHomer
Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, TheRebecca Skloot
Importance of Being Earnest, TheOscar Wilde
In Cold BloodTruman Capote
In the Time of the ButterfliesJulia Alvarez
In the WoodsTara French
Infinite JestDavid Foster Wallace
Inheritance of Loss, TheKiran Dasai
Interestings, TheMeg Wolitzer
InternmentSamira Ahmed
Interpreter of MaladiesJhumpa Lahiri
Interpreter of MaladiesJhumpa Lahiri
Interview With the VampireAnne Rice
Invention of Wings, TheSue Monk Kidd
Invisible Circus, TheJennifer Egan
Invisible ManRalph Ellison
IronweedWilliam Kennedy
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?And Other Concerns
Island of the Blue DolphinsScott O’Dell
ItStephen King
IvanhoeWalter Scott
Jamaica InnDaphne Du Maurier
James and the Giant PeachRoald Dahl
Jane EyreCharlotte Brontë
Japanese Lover, TheIsabel Allende
Jonathan Strange & Mr NorrellSusanna Clarke
Journey to the Center of the EarthJules Verne
Joy Luck Club, TheAmy Tan
Jude the ObscureThomas Hardy
Julie and JuliaJulie Powell
Julie of the WolvesJean Craighead George
Julius CaesarWilliam Shakespeare
Jungle Book, TheRudyard Kipling
Jungle, TheUpton Sinclair
Kafka on the ShoreHaruki Murakami
KidnappedRobert Louis Stevenson
Killers of the Flower MoonGrann
KimRudyard Kipling
KindredOctavia E. Butler
King LearWilliam Shakespeare
Kiss Before Dying, AIra Levin
Kiss Quotient, TheHelen Hoang
Kitchen ConfidentialAnthony Bourdain
Kite RunnerKhaled Hosseini
Lais of Marie De France, TheMarie De France
Language of FlowersVanessa Diffenbaugh
Last Samurai, TheHelen DeWaitt
Leaves of GrassWalt Whitman
Left Hand of Darkness, TheUrsula K. LeGuin
Legend of Sleepy Hollow, TheWashington Irving
Les MiserablesVictor Hugo
LessAndrew Sean Greer
Lesson Before Dying, AErnest J. Gaines
Letter From Birmingham City JailMartin Luther King Jr
Letters to a Young PoetRainer Maria Rilke
Liars’ Club: A Memoir, TheMary Karr
Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, TheLaurence Sterne
Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, TheMarie Kondo
Life of PiYann Martel
Light Between Oceans: A Novel, TheM.L. Stedman
Like Water for ChocolateLaura Esquivel
Lincoln in the BardoGeorge Saunders
Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, TheC.S. Lewis
Little BeeChris Cleave
Little Fires EverywhereCeleste Ng
Little House on the Prairie (Series)Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little MenLouisa May Alcott
Little Prince, TheAntoine de Saint-Exupéry
Little Princess, AFrances Hodgson Burnett
Little Stranger, TheSarah Waters
Little WomenLouisa May Alcott
LolitaVladimir Nabokov
Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven, TheSherman Alexie
Long Fatal Love Chase, ALouisa May Alcott
Long Goodbye, TheRaymond Chandler
Long Way Down, ANick Hornsby
Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, AIshmael Beah
Look at MeJennifer Egan
Looking for AlaskaJohn Green
Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11, TheLawrence Wright
Lord JimJoseph Conrad
Lord of the FliesWilliam Golding
Lord of the Rings, The (Trilogy)J.R.R. Tolkien
Lottery, TheShirley Jackson
Love in a Cold ClimateNancy Freeman-Mitford
Love in the Time of CholeraGabriel Garcia Marquez
Love MedicineLouise Erdrich
Lovely Bones, TheAlice Sebold
Lover, TheMarguerite Duras
Luckiest Girl AliveJessica Knoll
Lucky JimJim Dixon
LucyJamaica Kincaid
Luminaries, TheEleanor Catton
MacbethWilliam Shakespeare
Madame BovaryGustave Flaubert
Main StreetSinclair Lewis
Major Pettigrew’s Last StandHelen Simonson
Maltese Falcon, TheDashiell Hammett
Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love, TheOscar Hijuelos
Man Called Ove, AFredrik Backman
Man of the People, AChinua Achebe
Man Who Mistook His Wife for a HatOliver Sacks
Man Who Was Thursday, TheG.K. Chesterton
Maniac MageeJerry Spinelli
Mansfield ParkJane Austen
Manual for Cleaning Women, ALucia Berlin
March: Book OneJohn Lewis
Martian, TheAndy Weir
Mary PoppinsP.L. Travers
MatildaRoald Dahl
MauriceE.M. Forster
Maus: The Complete MausArt Spiegelman
Mayor of Casterbridge, TheThomas Hardy
Me Before YouJojo Moyes
MedeaEuripides
Memoirs of a GeishaArthur Golden
Memories of a Catholic GirlhoodMary McCarthy
Merchant of Venice, TheWilliam Shakespeare
Metamorphosis and Other StoriesFranz Kafka
Metamorphosis, TheFranz Kafka
MiddlemarchGeorge Eliot
MiddlesexJeffrey Eugenides
Midnight in the Garden of Good and EvilJohn Berendt
Midnight’s ChildrenSalman Rushdie
Midsummer Night’s Dream, AWilliam Shakespeare
Milk and HoneyRupi Kaur
Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, TheKate Dicamillo
Miseducation of Cameron Post, TheEmily M. Danforth
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar ChildrenRansom Riggs
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a DayWinifred Watson
Misty of ChincoteagueMarguerite Henry
Moby DickHerman Melville
Moll FlandersDaniel Defoe
Moloka’iAlan Brennert
Monkey’s Paw, TheW. W. Jacobs
Moonstone, TheWilkie Collins
Mr. Popper’s PenguinsRichard and Florence Atwater
Mrs DallowayVirginia Woolf
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMHRobert C. O’Brien
Much Ado About NothingWilliam Shakespeare
Murder on the Orient ExpressAgatha Christie
My AntoniaWilla Cather
My Bondage and My FreedomFrederick Douglass
My Brilliant FriendElena Ferrante
My Side of the MountainJean Craighead George
My Sister, the Serial KillerOyinkan Braithwaite
My Sister’s KeeperJodi Picoult
Mystic RiverDennis Lehane
Name of the Rose, TheUmberto Eco
Namesake, TheJhumpa Lahiri
Narrative of Sojourner TruthSojourner Truth
Native SonRichard Wright
Naya NukiKen Thomasma
Nectar in a SieveKamala Markandaya
NeuromancerWilliam Gibson
Never Let Me GoKazuo Ishiguro
NeverwhereNeil Gaiman
New Grub StreetGeorge Gissing
Nickel and DimedBarbara Ehrenreich
NightElie Wiesel
Night Circus, TheErin Morgenstern
Nightingale, TheKristin Hannah
Nights at the CircusAngela Carter
No Exit (Huis Clos)Jean-Paul Sartre
No Future Without ForgivenessDesmond Tutu
No One Belongs Here More Than YouMiranda July
No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, TheAlexander McCall Smith
North and SouthElizabeth Gaskell
Northanger AbbeyJane Austen
Northern Light, AJennifer Donnelly
Norwegian WoodHaruki Murakami
Notes From a Small IslandBill Bryson
Now We are SixA. A. Milne
Number the StarsLois Lowry
NWZadie Smith
Ocean at the End of the Lane, TheNeil Gaiman
Odyssey, TheHomer
Of Human BondageW. Somerset Maugham
Of Mice and MenJohn Steinbeck
Old Man and the Sea, TheErnest Hemingway
Olive KitteridgeElizabeth Strout
Oliver TwistCharles Dickens
Omnivore’s Dilemma, TheMichael Pollan
On Earth We’re Briefly GorgeousOcean Vuong
On Immunity: An InoculationEula Biss
On the RoadJack Kerouac
Once and Future King, TheT.H. White
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s NestKen Kesey
One for the MoneyJanet Evanovic
One Hundred Years of SolitudeGabriel Garcia Marquez
Optimists Daughter, TheEudora Welty
Oranges Are Not the Only FruitJeanette Winterson
Orchardist, TheAmanda Coplin
OrlandoVirginia Woolf
Orphan Master’s Son, TheAdam Johnson
Orphan TrainChristina Baker Kline
Oryx and CrakeMargaret Atwood
Oscar and LucindaPeter Carey
OthelloWilliam Shakespeare
Other Boleyn Girl, ThePhilippa Gregory
Our TownThornton Wilder
Out of AfricaKaren Blixen
OutlanderDiana Gabaldon
Pact, TheJodi Picoult
Palace WalkNaguib Mahfouz
Pale FireVladimir Nabokov
Passage to India, AE.M. Forster
PassingNella Larson
PastoraliaGeorge Saunders
Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher ColumbusOrson Scott Card
Pearl, TheJohn Steinbeck
Pentateuch, TheI. Thomas Holdcroft
People in the Trees, TheHanya Yanagihara
People of the BookGeraldine Brooks
People’s History of the United States, AHoward Zinn
Percy Jackson SeriesRick Riordan
PerfumePatrick Suskind
Perks of Being a Wallflower, TheStephen Chbosky
PersepolisMarjane Satrapi
Persepolis by Marjane SatrapiMarlene Satrapi
Personal Matter, AKanzaburō Ōe
PersuasionJane Austen
Pet SemataryStephen King
Peter PanJames Barrie
Phantom of the Opera, TheGaston Leroux
Phantom Tollbooth, TheNorton Juster
Phantom Toolbooth, TheJules Feiffer
Pickwick Papers, TheCharles Dickens
Picture of Dorian Grey, TheOscar Wilde
Pilgrim at Tinker CreekAnnie Dillard
Pillars of the Earth, TheKen Follett
Pippi LongstockingAstred Lindgren
Plague, The (La peste)Albert Camus
Play It as It LaysJoan Didion
Poems of Emily Dickinson, TheEmily Dickinson
Poems: Edna St. Vincent MillayEdna St. Vincent Millay
Poisonwood Bible, TheBarbara Kingsolver
Portrait of a LadyHenry James
PossessionByatt
Post OfficeCharles Bukowski
Prayer for Owen Meany, AJohn Irving
Price of Salt, or Carol, ThePatricia Highsmith
Pride and PrejudiceJane Austen
Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, TheMuriel Spark
Princess AcademyShannon Hale
Princess Bride, TheWilliam Goldman
Princess Saves Herself in This One, TheAmanda Lovelace
Priory of the Orange Tree, TheSamantha Shannon
Private PeacefulMichael Morpurgo
Pulphead EssaysJohn Jeremiah Sullivan
Purple HisbiscusChimamanda Ngozi Adichie
PygmalionGeorge Bernard Shaw
Queen of the NightAlexander Chee
QueenieCandice Carty-Williams
QuietSusan Cain
Quiet American, TheGraham Greene
Rabbit at RestJohn Updike
Rabbit Is RichJohn Updike
Rabbit, RunJohn Updike
RagtimeE.L. Doctorow
Raisin in the Sun, ALorraine Hansberry
Ramayana, TheValmiki
Ramona the PestBeverly Cleary
Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the BronxAdrian Nicole Leblanc
Reader, TheBernhard Schlink
Reading Lolita in TehranAzar Nafisi
Ready Player OneErnest Cline
RebeccaDaphne Du Maurier
Red and the Black, TheChimimanda Ngozi Adichie
Red Badge of Courage, TheStephen Crane
Red Tent, TheAnita Diamant
Red, White & Royal BlueCasey Mcquiston
Redefining RealnessJanet Mock
RedwallBrian Jacques
Reef, TheEdith Wharton
Remains of the Day, TheKazuo Ishiguro
Return of Sherlock Holmes, TheArthur Conan Doyle
Return of the NativeThomas Hardy
Return of the Soldier, TheRebecca West
Revolutionary RoadVintage Yates
River Between, TheNgũgĩ wa Thiong’o
Road, TheCormac McCarthy
Robinson CrusoeDaniel Defoe
Roll of Thunder, Hear My CryMildred D. Taylor
Romance of the Three KingdomsLuo Guanzhong
Romeo and JulietWilliam Shakespeare
RomolaGeorge Eliot
RoomEmma Donoghue
Room of One’s Own, AVirginia Woolf
Room With a View, AE. M. Forster
RootsAlex Haley
Rosie Project, TheGraeme Simsion
Round House, TheLouise Erdrich
Rubyfruit JungleRita Mae Brown
RunawayAlice Munro
Sacre BleuChristopher Moore
Salvage the BonesJesmyn Ward
Sammy and Juliana in HollywoodBenjamin Alire Saenz
Savage Detectives, TheRoberto Bolano
Scarlet Letter, TheNathaniel Hawthorne
Scarlett Pimpernel, TheBaroness Emmuska Orcey
Schindler’s ArkThomas Keneally
ScoopEvelyn Waugh
Sea, the Sea, TheIrish Murdoch
Secret Garden, TheFrances Hodgson Burnett
Secret History, TheDonna Tartt
Secret Keeper, TheKate Morton
Secret Life of Bees, TheSue Monk Kidd
Selection, TheKiera Cass
Sellout, ThePaul Beatty
Sense and SensibilityJane Austen
Sense of an Ending, TheJulian Barnes
Separate Peace, AJohn Knowles
Shadow of the Wind, TheCarlos Ruiz Zafon
She’s Come UndoneWally Lamb
Shining, TheStephen King
Shipping News, TheE. Annie Proulx
ShirleyCharlotte Brontë
Shoemaker’s Wife, TheAdriana Trigiani
Short History of Nearly Everything, ABill Bryson
SiddharthaHermann Hesse
Sign of the Beaver, TheElizabeth George Speare
Sign of the Four, TheArthur Conan Doyle
Silas MarnerGeorge Eliot
Sing, Unburied, SingJesmyn Ward
Singing Tree, TheKate Seredy
Sir Gawain and the Green KnightSimon Armitage
Sister OutsiderAudre Lorde
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, TheAnn Brashares
Slaughterhouse-FiveKurt Vonnegut
Slouching Towards BethlehemJoan Didion
Small IslandAndrea Levy
Snow Child, TheEowyn Ivey
Snow CrashNeal Stephenson
Snow Flower and the Secret FanLisa See
So Long a LetterMariama Bâ
Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, TheMadeline Miller
Songs of the Humpback WhaleJodi Picoult
Sons and LoversD.H. Lawrence
Sophie’s ChoiceStephen King
Sound and the Fury, TheLeslie Feinberg
Sparrow, TheMary Doria Russell
SpeakLaurie Halse Anderson
Speaker for the DeadOrson Scott Card
Spy Who Came in From the Cold, TheJohn Le Carré
Stand, TheStephen King
StargirlJerry Spinelli
Station ElevenEmily St John Mandel
Still AliceLisa Genova
Stone Butch BluesLeslie Feinberg
Storied Life of A.J. Fikry, TheGabrielle Zevin
Story of My Life, TheHelen Keller
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, TheRobert Louis Stevenson
Stranger, The (L’étranger)Albert Camus
Streetcar Named Desire, ATennessee Williams
Stuart LittleE.B. White
Study in Scarlet, AArthur Conan Doyle
Suitable Boy, AVikram Seth
Summer Book, TheTove Jansson
Sun Also Rises, TheErnest Hemingway
Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, ADavid Foster Wallace
Swallows and AmazonsArthur Ransome
SwamplandiaKaren Russell
Swann’s WayMarcel Proust
Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, TheAlan Bradley
Swiss Family Robinson, TheJohann David Wyss
Sympathizer, TheViet Thanh Nguyen
Tale for the Time Being, ARuth Ozeki
Tale of Genji, TheMurasaki Shikibu
Tale of Two Cities, ACharles Dickens
Talented Mr. Ripley, ThePatricia Highsmith
Tales of the CityArmistead Maupin
Taming of the Shrew, TheWilliam Shakespeare
Tempest, TheWilliam Shakespeare
Ten Thousand Doors of January, TheAlix E. Harrow
Tenant of Wildfell Hall, TheAnne Brontë
Tender Is the NightF. Scott Fitzgerald
TendernessRobert Cormier
Tess of the D’urbervillesThomas Hardy
Thank You, JeevesP.G. Wodehouse
The ChosenChaim Potok
The Complete StoriesFlannery O’Connor
Theban Plays, TheSophocles
Their Eyes Were Watching GodZora Neale Hurston
There ThereTommy Orange
Things Fall ApartChinua Achebe
Things They Carried, TheTim O’Brien
Thirteen Reasons WhyJay Asher
Thirteenth Tale, TheDiane Setterfield
This Is How You Lose the Time WarAmal El-Mohtar
This Side of ParadiseF. Scott Fitzgerald
Thorn Birds, TheColleen McCullough
Thousand Acres, AJane Smiley
Thousand Splendid Suns, AKhaled Hosseini
Three Musketeers, TheAlexandre Dumas
Throne of the Crescent MoonSaladin Ahmed
Through the Looking GlassLewis Carroll
Through the Looking GlassLewis Carroll
Time Machine, TheH.G. Wells
Time to Kill, AJohn Grisham
Time Traveler’s Wife, TheAudrey Niffenegger
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, SpyJohn Le Carré
Tipping Point, TheMalcom Gladwell
Tipping the VelvetSarah Waters
To Kill a MockingbirdHarper Lee
To the LighthouseVirginia Woolf
Tobacco RoadErskine Caldwell
Tortilla FlatJohn Steinbeck
Town Like Alice, ANevil Shute
Treasure IslandRobert Louis Stevenson
Tree Grows in Brooklyn, ABetty Smith
Trial and Death of Socrates, TheSocrates
Trial, TheFranz Kafka
Tristram ShandyLaurence Sterne
True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, TheAvi
Trumpet of the Swan, TheE.B. White
Tuck EverlastingNatalie Babbitt
Tuesdays With MorrieMitch Albom
Turn of the Screw, TheHenry James
Twelve Tribes of Hattie, TheAyana Mathis
Twelve Years a SlaveSolomon Northup
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the SeaJules Verne
TwilightStephenie Meyer
UlyssesJames Joyce
Unbearable Lightness of Being, TheMilan Kundera
UnbrokenLaura Hillenbrand
Uncle Tom’s CabinHarriet Beecher Stowe
Under the Udala TreesChinelo Okparanta
Under the VolcanoMalcom Lowry
Underground Railroad, TheColson Whitehead
UnderworldDon Delillo
Undress Me in the Temple of HeavenSusan Jane Gilman
Universe in a Single Atom, TheDalai Lama
UprootedNaomi Novik
UtopiaThomas More
Valley of Fear, TheArthur Conan Doyle
Valley of the DollsJacqueline Susann
Vanity FairWilliam Thackeray
Vegetarian, TheHan Kang
Velveteen Rabbit, TheMargery Williams
Vendor of Sweets, TheR.K. Narayan
VilletteCharlotte Bronte
Virgin Suicides, TheJeffrey Eugenides
Visit From the Goon Squad, AJennifer Egan
Volcano Lover, TheSusan Sontag
Waiting for GodotSamuel Beckett
Waiting for the BarbariansJ. M. Coetzee
WaldenHenry David Thoreau
Walk in the Woods, ABill Bryson
War and PeaceLeo Tolstoy
War and PeaceLeo Tolstoy
Warmth of Other Suns, TheIsabel Wilkerson
Waste Land and Other Poems, TheT. S. Eliot
WatchersDean Koontz
WatchmenAlan Moore & Dave Gibbons
Water for ElephantsSara Gruen
Water-Babies, TheCharles Kingsley
Watership DownRichard Adams
Watsons Go to Birmingham – 1963, TheChristopher Paul Curtis
Waves, TheVirginia Woolf
Way We Live Now, TheAnthony Trollope
We Have Always Lived in the CastleShirley Jackson
We Need to Talk About KevinLionel Shriver
Wedding Date, TheJasmine Guillory
Wedding, TheDorothy West
Weight of Water, TheAnita Shreve
Westing Game, TheEllen Raskin
What Maisie KnewHenry James
What We Talk About When We Talk About LoveRaymond Carver
When Breath Becomes AirPaul Kalanithi
When We Were OrphansKazuo Ishiguro
When We Were Very YoungA. A. Milne
When You Reach MeRebecca Stead
Where the Red Fern GrowsWilson Rawls
Where’d You Go, BernadetteMaria Semple
White NoiseDon DeLillo
White TeethZadie Smith
White Tiger, TheAravind Adiga
Who Was Changed and Who Was DeadBarbara Comyns
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?Edward Albee
Whose Body?Dorothy L. Sayers
WickedGregory Maguire
Wide Sargasso SeaJean Rhys
Wild Sheep Chase, AHaruki Murakami
Wild Swans: Three Daughters of ChinaJung Chang
Wind in the Willows, TheKenneth Grahame
Wind Up Bird Chronicle, TheHaruki Murakami
Winesburg, OhioSherwood Anderson
Winnie-The-PoohA. A. Milne
Winter Sea, TheThe Slains #1
Witch of Blackbird Pond, TheElizabeth George Spear
Witches, TheRoald Dahl
Wittgenstein’s MistressDavid Markson
Wives and DaughtersElizabeth Gaskell
Wizard of Earthsea, AUrsula K. LeGuin
Wolf HallHilary Mantel
Woman in the Dunes, TheKobo Abe
Woman in White, TheWilkie Collins
Woman Warrior, TheMaxine Wong Kingston
Women in LoveD.H. Lawrence
Women of Brewster Place, TheGloria Naylor
WonderR.J. Palacio
Wonderful Wizard of Oz, TheL. Frank Baum
World According to Garp, TheJohn Irving
World War ZMax Brooks
Wrath and the Dawn, TheRenee Ahdieh
Wrinkle in Time, AMadeleine L’engle
Wuthering HeightsEmily Brontë
XenocideOrson Scott Card
Year of Magical Thinking, TheJoan Didion
Yellow Wallpaper, TheCharlotte Perkins Gilman
Yes PleaseAmy Poehler
Yiddish Policemen’s Union, TheMichael Chabon
Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls, TheAnton DiSclafani
You Shall Know Our VelocityDave Eggers
Zami: A New Spelling of My NameAudre Lorde
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle MaintenanceRobert Pirsig
Zlata’s DiaryZlata Filipović
ZorroIsabel Allende

The Old Wolf has Spoken