A friend of mine posted a scanned image of this essay on Facebook; fortunately her scan was sufficient to run through ReadIris and convert it to text. It’s taken from Daniel Pinkwater’s book “Fish Whistle,” and I share it here because it’s a great essay, and because I love Mr. Pinkwater’s writing (and his voice, being a long-time listener and contributor to NPR). It’s ©1990 Addison-Wesley, but I’m hoping this would fall under the “free advertising” rubric and not attract any attorneys hungry for billable hours. If the copyright owners object to its presence here, a friendly comment will be sufficient for its removal.

Just the Fundamentals

Daniel Pinkwater

I’D LIKE to say a word in favor of fundamentalists. They’re getting a bad rap.

The dictionary says that fundamentalism is a movement in twentieth-century Protestantism emphasizing as fundamental the literal inerrancy of the Scriptures, the second coming of Jesus Christ, the virgin birth, and so on. Also a movement or attitude similar to Protestant Fundamentalism.

I don’t happen to subscribe to any of those beliefs, but it’s a point of view, and some of the people I’ve encountered whose point of view it is are very nice people.

The bad rap comes from a confusion of fundamentalism and fanaticism. “Moslem fundamentalists meaning terrorists did thus and so,” the media will report. Most all, if not all, Moslems are fundamentalists-that doesn’t mean they all want to blow people up.

I hear from fundamentalists-kids and adults-in my role as an author of children’s books. I hear from bigots and fanatics too but they’re not automatically the same people.

Here’s a case that comes up from time to time: I’ll get a letter from a kid, or a class, commending me for not using profanity in books I write. Sometimes, there’s an explicit religious connection made, sometimes not. Sometimes the letter comes from a religious school.

I write back to the kid or the class, and explain that I do not, as a rule, use vulgar language in books I write for kids as a matter of choice and preference-but that I would not hesitate to use it if the story called for it. For example, if I wrote a character who cussed-I’d have him cuss. It wouldn’t bother me.

I go on to explain that it’s a good idea to be able to distinguish between polite and impolite language, and to try to respect people’s sensibilities-but that I do not believe that words have power within themselves, and by making a special case of certain words and expressions, we imbue them with a power they should not have.

I tell them that I use vulgar language around the house, and when I’m alone, I use nothing else.

Then I suggest-now get this-that maybe they’d like to show my letter to their teacher, pastor or parents, and maybe have a discussion with them, or their class, and compare their ideas on the subject with mine.

And they do it! What do you think of that? These fundamentalist kids, or their teacher, will write back to me and say that they had an interesting talk based on my letter. I don’t expect anyone changes their basic views – but they’re willing to take a look at mine,

They’re not so bad.

Of course, I’m not talking about the educator from down south who accused me of being a Satanist because I wrote a story about a werewolf-but that guy would be a pain in the posterior whatever he believed.

The Old Wolf has spoken.