Monthly Archives: March 2013

Roasted Marrow Bones

Posted on by The Old Wolf

marrowbones1

 

As a child, I learned to love the succulence of a marrow bone. They were a rare treat, usually only one at a time with whatever piece of meat was being served, but easy to obtain at the local butcher’s. I don’t think I’ve seen a decent one for 50 years or so.

Later, at college, I learned wisdom at the hand of Rabelais who admonished his readers, “Il faut rompre l’os et sucer la substantifique moelle” (one must break the bone and suck the substantial marrow.) From this I took that wisdom is never found on the surface; particularly true today with so much disinformation and misinformation hurtling around the internet. Anything worth knowing is worth researching to its core, if one wishes to judge its relative merits in the endless ocean of encyclopedic knowledge.

It’s a good lesson. But I still miss a succulent, greasy marrow bone, always saved until last.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Caution: RabbitTV

Posted on by The Old Wolf

This appeared in my email today:

RabbitScam

Sound too good to be true? Well, guess what.

From SFGate:

Q: I’ve been seeing TV commercials for Rabbit TV, a USB stick that supposedly provides free access to thousands of television stations worldwide over the Internet – including all the big networks, Disney and ESPN. Apparently when you plug it into an Internet-connected computer, a menu appears with links that take you directly to video streams. The Rabbit TV costs $10 a year. As a person who pays nearly $100 a month for satellite TV, I’m afraid this sounds too good to be true. Is Rabbit TV legit, or is it a scam?

A: It’s a big-time scam. All Rabbit TV does is point you to websites that have video. And, with rare exceptions for breaking news, the big U.S. networks don’t show live programming on the Internet. Ditto for ESPN, Disney and other top cable networks. With Rabbit TV, live streaming is limited to small local stations, religious and shopping channels. Repeat: There is nothing on Rabbit TV that you can’t get by entering a URL into your browser.

In fact, you can get the same experience that Rabbit TV provides by going to wwitv.com. That’s World Wide Internet Television, which, like Rabbit TV, has a clickable menu for accessing websites of global TV stations that show live and recorded programming.

This piece of junkvertising reminds me of the most deceptive advertisement I’ve ever seen.

Rabbit TV responds with the following text on their rebuttal website:

Q: Why would I use Rabbit TV when I can access most of the same stuff on my own?

A: Viewers want to spend time watching content, not searching for it.

Similar to the print publication TV Guide, who for years made you aware of what was going to be on your television set every week, Rabbit TV is simply more robust, interactive, and option-packed for the new age of TV, automatically gathering, categorizing, managing and organizing an overwhelming 2 million+ video updates daily. It also introduces you to loads of new content you’d never find on your own everyday, including massive worldwide options that aren’t even available through cable or satellite.

Rabbit TV does all the work, so you don’t have to.

If Rabbit TV were advertised as an information aggregator service, it would probably pass muster. Based on their spamvertising and their deceptive website (I don’t recommend clicking that link, but I provide it in the interest of full disclosure), however, they appear to offer one thing but in actuality offer something entirely different, and that’s where the problem lies.

The drones are still hoping that there’s a sucker born every minute; sadly, they’re right. No one is immune – all of us can be taken in by a slick operator if the conditions are right, because these slimeballs are very good at what they do. All we can do is educate ourselves and strengthen our resolve to be vigilant. And, of course, pass the word along.

I’ll stop (barely) short of calling it a scam myself because apparently there are some people who like this service; judge for yourself, but be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Birth of a Prescriptive Grammarian

Posted on by The Old Wolf

Remember these? It was a clever marketing ploy by Kellogg’s to increase sales. In effect, the idea was good – but unless the package was opened with surgical precision using razor-sharp instruments, you usually ended up with a leaky carton and milk all over everything but the cereal. Others have blogged eloquently about the phenomenon, so I won’t go into the relative merits and drawbacks of the concept (the patent on the Kel-Bowl-Pac was cancelled in 2003, by the way, so it’s up for grabs if you want to use it.)

Kel-Bowl-Pac 2

When I saw this picture the other day, it brought back a memory that, in retrospect, makes perfect sense.

Kel-Bowl-Pac

I couldn’t have been more than 7 or 8 when I realized that the instructions on this box irritated me; it was the seminal moment. “Pac” is not how “pack” is spelled, morons. Also, you’re missing the definite article: “the”. The sentence should read, “Eat from the pack.” (Attention! Notice that the French translation doesn’t say “Mangez dans paq.”) I was convinced that “Kel-Bowl-Pac” itself was an abomination: they should have called it the “Kellog’s Bowl Pack.”

Yes, yes, it’s all rather irrelevant. It’s Madison Avenue. They did it to save space. Yadda yadda. But looking back, I realize that language was important to me, even at that tender age, and continues to be so. I remember being disturbed every time I read that on one of their little boxes;  I’m still embarrassed when I make a grammatical mistake through fatigue or haste, because split infinitives, dangling participles, and misplaced or misused apostrophe’s (sic) task me[1]. I feel like taking in my sign, that’s all.

The Old Wolf has spoken. Hopefully without any errors.

[1] Despite the “sic”, I’m sure someone is going to write me to point out that I misused the apostrophe here. It’s called satire for the sake of emphasis, bitches. By the way, does anal-retentive have a hyphen?

Please Sue Someone Today

Posted on by The Old Wolf

Previously I wrote about 21st-century ambulance chasers; here’s another example of legal douchebaggery and the sad results of the CAN-SPAM act.

This arrived in my mailbox today – the topic caught my attention because I have a neighbor who may need dialysis, and I wondered if this were anything of value based on the subject line. Unfortunately, not so.

spammers1

Rather than doing anything at all to reduce unsolicited commercial email (UCE), the CAN-SPAM act actually increased spam, simply by requiring that spammers identify their messages as commerical solicitations and offering an opt-out link.[1] Another example of how our legislators are bought, paid for, and in the pockets of their largest contributors.

The spamvertisement leads to this web page:

Spammers2

Like the universally-hated LowerMyBills.com, this one is a “matching” service which spamvertises widely, and distributes the information you provide to any number of willing shysters who would be happy to help you recover the compensation you’re entitled to for the ingrown toenail that was caused by D’Agostino Bros. grocery store serving your mother tainted potato salad in 1953. You’ll be contacted by “Dewey, Cheetham and Howe”, or “Barton, Potrini, and Konlon”, or some other hellish conglomeration of soulless bottom-feeders who will be very sympathetic to your case; of course, the scummy drones will take 60% of whatever they happen to squeeze out of your victim.

Q: What do you call 6,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[1] Never click these opt-out links. Anyone sleazy enough to spam you is sleazy enough to use your unsubscribe request as a verification that yours is a real e-mail address. Your spam will only increase.

To my “forward-happy” friends

Posted on by The Old Wolf

I love you guys. You know I do. So don’t think I’m dissing you or getting on your case. But there are a few things I’d like all of my friends and family to understand.

First:

snopes

If it’s not true, don’t send it, unless it’s just a nice, uplifting story; in that case, label it as such.

(PS – this applies to Facebook posts, too.)

Second:

BCC

Your Grandma Pensilthea probably doesn’t want her email address distributed to 100 other people. She will hunt you down and kill you in your sleep.

Third:

Good Luck

If something you want to send to your friends has this bit of nonsense at the end, delete it before sending it on. You can’t really believe that good fortune depends on how many people you send an email to, now can you? We make our own luck in this world by what we choose to do.

That’s all. It’s very simple. If everyone would do these three things, the quantity of  emails in our inboxes would go down, and the quality would go way up.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Auto Repair: It pays to shop around

Posted on by The Old Wolf

We recently took my wife’s good old 97 Tercel, “Jack”, in for his yearly emissions test. Sadly, he failed – it seems that his catalytic converter had gracefully given up the ghost. After 15 years, that’s not unexpected. So we began to check local repair shops for a replacement. What I found was a real eye-opener.  Here are the quotes I was given from local service people. Prices reflect parts and labor.

Brent Brown Toyota, Orem, UT $1078.59
Larry Miller Toyota, Salt Lake City $973.00
Midas Salt Lake $300.00 to $350.00
Exhaust Unlimited $220.00 to $1000.00
Auto Performance Napa Autocare, Provo, UT $350.00
Autoworks Car Care, Payson, UT $220.00

Most places quoted me based on some ultra-special converter they said the car needed, which in itself cost around $800.00. We ended up going through Autoworks in Payson; they did a fine job, Jack passed his test, and off we went, happy at having saved significant money.

I have nothing against a business model based on honest markup for a fair profit, but some of these places definitely don’t have the customer’s best interest in mind.

Another story that I just happened to recall, since I’m on the subject.  Years ago, my first wife and our children took a trip to SoCal in our 1983 Buick Skylark. We had a wonderful time, and about 15 minute after we had gotten on the freeway in San Diego to head home, our transmission went out. I arranged a tow truck, and not knowing anyone in the area, had our car taken to AAMCO.

Big mistake.

They hauled our car in, took the transmission off, quoted us $1875 to repair it, and refused to put it back in unless we paid them to do it. Bastards. I later found out that nationwide, AAMCO is known for meaning “All Automatics Must Come Out.” I told them where they could stick their scam, and arranged for Interstate Transmissions to come get our car (and the tranny in a box). I sent my family home by air, rented a vehicle and stayed with my brother-in-law for a few days until the car was done, and Interstate charged me something like $1175, which included a lifetime warranty. And a good thing, too – because the transmission did go out again a year later, and they honored their warranty and fixed it at no additional cost.

Never take the first quote you get on something; always check around; and remember, a big name doesn’t guarantee honest or fair service. Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.