I thought it was time to make another shameless plug for my Banquet from Hell, a collection of foods from around the world that people consider delicacies, but which many people would rather die than eat. A sample below – click through for the entire list.

Haggis

“Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftan o’ the pudding-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o’a grace
As lang’s ma airm.”
(Robert Burns)

Haggis

Haggis is the undisputed king of the Banquet from Hell. The fact that it’s composed of things that most people throw away, and cooked inside another thing that everyone throws away, tends to be off-putting.  But if you get to know this beautiful gift from heaven, you’ll thank fortune for the opportunity.Haggis is a blend of oats and sheep’s pluck – liver, heart, and – if you live in the UK – lungs, which are not legal to be used in the USA.  Plus onion, fat, spices, and salt.  While reminiscent of liverwurst in flavor (תודה רבה, Sol Bock!), it has a unique quality that grows on you.  In America it can be purchased in cans, in vegetarian versions (blasphemy!) or frozen, usually packed in a commercial sausage casing rather than the sheep’s stomach. I understand in the UK it’s a simple matter to get the real thing. Sigh.Wikipedia article on haggis

Take note that there are far more unspeakable things on people’s menus out there – things like Casu Marzu or Chinese Virgin Eggs – those are better left for other blogs. The line between unspeakable and delicious is a very hazy one, but this is my blog, so I get to make the distinction.

Gëzuar!

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

In about 12 billion years, our earth will have indeed perished twice, passed through both fire and ice, and will have been reduced to a burned-out cinder, whether we extend our violence or not^[1]. Click through for an intriguing description of what will happen to both earth and sun over time, and how our planet will most likely fare. Hopefully by then humanity will have evolved and migrated elsewhere.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[1] Klaatu’s speech from “The Day the Earth Stood Still” (1951)

I am leaving soon and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. (he pauses, studying the faces) The Universe grows smaller every day — and the threat of aggression by any group — anywhere — can no longer be tolerated.

There must be security for all — or no one is secure… This does not mean giving up any freedom except the freedom to act irresponsibly.

Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves — and hired policemen to enforce them.

We of the other planets have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets — and for the complete elimination of aggression. A sort of United Nations on the Planetary level… The test of any such higher authority, of course, is the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots– (indicating Gort) Their function is to patrol the planets — in space ships like this one — and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us.

At the first sign of violence they act automatically against the aggressor. And the penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk.

The result is that we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war — free to pursue more profitable enterprises. (after a pause) We do not pretend to have achieved perfection — but we do have a system — and it works.

I came here to give you the facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet — but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned- out cinder.

Your choice is simple. Join us and live in peace. Or pursue your present course — and face obliteration. We will be waiting for your answer. decision rests with you.