Yesterday I posted about Germany’s longest official word having been stricken from the dictionary because it’s no longer needed. Today we will descend to sophomoric levels to explore the same noun-compounding phenomenon.

Put away your Dudens and your Langenscheidts and your reference books; this is nothing but silly fun. From various unknown sources across the years:

German Lesson #7

Dog:                                              Barkenpantensniffer
Dog Catcher:                               Barkenpantensniffersnatcher
Dog Catcher’s Truck:                 Barkenpantensniffersnatcherwagen
Garage for Truck:                      Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenhaus
Truck Repairman:                      Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerker
Mechanic’s Union:                       Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenmechanikerwerkerfeatherbeddengefixengruppe

Doctor:                                         Chestergethumpenpulsentooker
Nurse:                                           Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelper
Hypodermic Needle:                    Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtensticker
Backside:                                      Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelperhurtenstickerstabbenplatz

Piano:                                           Plinkenplankenplunkenbox
Pianist:                                          Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder
Piano Stool:                                  Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderspinnenseat
Piano Recital:                               Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspelle
Fathers at the Recital:                 Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppe
Mothers at the Recital:                Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounderoffengeshowenspellensnoozengruppenuppenwakers

Automobile:                                 Honkenbrakenscreecher
Gasoline:                                      Honkenbrakenscreecherzoomerjuicen
Driver:                                          Honkenbrakenscreecherguidenschtunker
Auto Mechanic:                           Honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepinger‑           sputtergefixer
Repair Bill:                                   Bankenrollergebustenuptottenliste

Propeller:                                     Der airfloggen fann
Self starter:                                  Der airfloggenfann flinger
Control column:                          Das pushenpullen schtik
Rudder pedals:                            Der tailschwingen works
Pilot:                                             Der tailschwingen pushenpullen werker
Student pilot:                               Der dummkoff lernen fliegen
Forced landing:                           Trieen gobackonner ground mitout kraschen
First solo:                                      Trieen gobackonner ground mitout kraschen alone
Precautionary landing:               Looken virst den kraschen
Crosswind landing:                     Trieen gobackonner ground mitout kraschen sidevays
Parachute jump:                          Trieen gobackonner ground mitout der fliegenwagon
Weather radar:                            Das olektroniken stormengeschniffer
Warhead:                                     Das Lautenboomer
Atomic warhead:                         Das eargeschplittene Lautenboomer
Hydrogen warhead:                    Das eargeschplittene Lautenboomer mit grossem Holengraund und alles kaputt!

These remind me of Fraulein Bo-peepen And More Tales Mein Grossfader Told by Dave Morrah:

An extract from the book:

Fraulein Bo-Peepen
Ben losen der sheepen
Und puzzlen mit der gelooken.
Later der sheepen
Ben homen gecreepen
Mit tailers behinder geshooken.

Nowhere near as scholarly an approach as John Hulme’s Mörder Guss Reims – the Gustav Leberwurst Manuscript, which I mentioned here, but in 1953, so close to the end of the second world war, it struck a popular chord with Americans, who were still getting a kick out of mocking the Germans as late as 1971 when Hogan’s Heroes went off the air.

Schulz! Where is Colonel Hogan?

Nowadays we’ve become so much more sophisticated:

“Your fire is dying…”

Der Old Wolf has gespoken.