‘WILL you be good, sir? The reason for this, and the reason for that, indeed! You are always wanting the reason. No reason. There! Hoity toity me! I am sick of your grown-up reasons.’
This first tale was recounted by my father, who, as a professional actor, always put his whole soul into the tale:
A skydiver, having pulled his ripcord, discovered that his chute was defective; even the emergency chute was non operational. As he plunged to earth, he prayed fervently, “Blessed St. Francis, save me!”
Suddenly a huge hand grabs him by the back of the neck and a hollow voice intones¹: “St. Francis Assisi or St. Francis Xavier?”
Sweating bullets, the hapless wight looks skyward and whispers “Assisi?”
“AAAAaaaaahhhhhh….”
And a second one:
A similar mishap befell a skydiver, and being an atheist, it did not occur to him to do any praying. As he prepared himself for oblivion, to his surprise he saw a man rising up toward him from the ground.
As he passed, he shouted, “Do you know anything about parachutes?”
The man shouted back, “No! Do you know anything about Coleman stoves?”
For a number of years I was involved in a marketing enterprise, and my sponsor enjoyed wearing a diamond-studded Rolex that he picked up for about half-price, a mere $125,000. I always wondered how much sense it made to wear that much money around on your wrist, but whatever floats his boat.
Then I discovered this:
This video describes the design and manufacture of the Patek Philippe 5175R Grandmaster Chime Watch, which sells for $2.6 million… if the president of the firm thinks you’re worthy to own one. To celebrate the 175th anniversary of the firm, only seven were made, six of them to be sold to a very exclusive number of long-time collectors, the seventh to be displayed at the Patek Philippe Museum in Geneva.
Now, Patek Phillippe is the zenith of the summit of the pinnacle of the watchmaking world to start with. They don’t let anything but perfection out of their factory doors. But this particular watch would make Jacquet-Droz blush with embarrassment and want to crawl into a hole for having produced such crude workmanship, and he was a world-class craftsman and a genius.
When I read the title of the video, I thought to myself, “why in the world would someone create, let alone buy, such an expensive watch? Well, the buyers will have their own reasons. But as for the creation… this is not merely a timepiece, this is art. People pay much more than a paltry 2.6 million for coveted artwork; remember that someone paid an estimated $259 million for Cezanne’s The Card Players.
Watch the video. You’ll see that this piece is lovingly crafted in the most excruciating detail by craftspeople who could rightfully be called national treasures. Designers, machine workers, watchmakers, artists, metallurgists, you name it – the skill and precision and absolutely insane devotion to a perfect product are visible here.
The movement before assembly
I’ll never be fortunate enough to hold a piece of art like this, and I’m not likely to see one in a museum either, so watching the video will have to suffice for me.
The Reverse Side
But from where I sit, this miracle of design and labor is worth every penny that the company charges for it.
Now, this whole adventure raises a few questions. Recently, redditor /u/mattertater calculated an estimate in raw dollars for how much it would take to end world hunger if every citizen of first-world countries contributed the same amount annually. (Thread with commentary)
With an approximate first-world population of 906,715,020 people, or 12.45% of the global population, the UN estimate of $30 billion annually works out to roughly $33.08 per year, or about 9¢ a day. For comparison’s sake, note that the US military, with an annual estimated budget of $640 billion, could come up with that amount all by itself by trimming 5% of its annual spending.
These are just some interesting raw numbers. It is understood that the problem of world hunger is much more than throwing dollars at it, involving as it does so many factors such as distribution chains, administration, corruption, agriculture, warfare, and countless others. But it’s intriguing to wonder if given the pressing problems of the world, owning a watch that costs this much money really makes sense. Still, on a much smaller scale, 8 people were willing to pony up $999.99 for the “I am Rich” app at the Apple Store before it was pulled down… and all it does is display a glowing, red gem which the rest of the world can’t have. Veblen goods have their appeal, usually for reasons of vanity.
Saw this on my Facebook feed the other day, and just sort of glossed over it. This morning I saw it at reddit and looked more closely, and then i got the joke.
I was immediately reminded of this little bit of silliness which I saw when it first came out, oh, back in the Cenozoic Era or thereabouts:
I always thought these two guys were an absolute crackup; my father, an actor, was full of nothing but contempt for Joe E. Ross for some odd reason known only to himself, although he had great respect for Fred Gwynne and did a small part himself on one episode of The Munsters.
For you young’uns, this is a clip from “Car 54 Where Are You“, a comedy show about two New York cops, back in a day when the police for me were personified by the likes of Officer Joe Bolton instead of the Predator.
This list was compiled originally by redditor /u/PixelPenguins, and a link to images, reasons for selection, and short synopses was provided at Imgur. /u/DisposableFox texted the list, and /u/Rydel6 went hunting to see which ones were available at Netflix or elsewhere. Below, the list with source where available.
Naturally, this is only one person’s preferences, but the list is comprehensive and includes every Anime I have ever seen, plus many, many that I have not. I have a lot of watching to do.
Colorful, the No. 1 anime as selected by /u/PixelPenguins.
100: The Sky Crawlers (2008) – Google Play – Rental 2.99 | Purchase 9.99
99: Nitaboh (2004) – None Listed
98: Asura (2012) – None Listed
97: Spriggan (1998) – Amazon DVD 59.89 | Blu Ray 68.91 (really?!)
96: You Are Umasou (2010) – None Listed
95: Ninja Scroll (1993) – Amazon Rental 1.99 | Purchase 9.94
94: Pyschic School Wars (2012) – None Listed
93: Gauche the Cellist (1982) – None Listed
92: Half-Broken Music Box (2010) – None Listed
91: Hal (2013) – Unclear. Ask later.
90: Welcome to THE SPACE SHOW (2010) – None Listed
89: They Were Eleven (1986) – None Listed
88: Swan Lake (1981) – None Listed
87: Wonderful Days (2003) Amazon DVD 75.95
86: Vampire Hunter D: Blustlust (2000) – None Listed
85: Escaflowne: A Girl in Geae (2000) – None Listed
84: Lupin III: Farewell to Nostradamus (1995) – None Listed
83: Redline (2009) – Unclear. Ask later.
82: Mobile Police Patlabor 2: The Movie (1993) – None Listed
81: Mai Mai Miracle (2009) – Amazon DVD 75.99 | Amazon Blu Ray 97.98
80: Elemi (2009) – None Listed
79: Trigun: Badlands Rumble (2010) – Hulu Plus (subscription) | Vudu Rental 2.99 | Digital Purchase 9.99
78: The Perfect World of Kai (2007) – None Listed
77: Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise (1987) – None Listed
76: Japan, Our Homeland (2007) – None Listed
75: Glass Rabbit (2005) – None Listed
74: Yobi: The 5 Tailed Fox (2007) – None Listed
73: Aura: Koga Maryuin’s Last War (2013) – None Listed
72: Castle in the Sky (1986) – Amazon DVD 22.76
71: Who’s Left Behind? (1991) – None Listed
70: The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004) – None Listed
69: Origins: Spirits of the Past (2006) – None Listed
68: The Tree of Palme (2003)- None Listed
67: Nasu: Summer in Andalusia (2003) – None Listed
66: Children Who Chase Lost Voices (2011) – None Listed
65: Little Witch Academia (2013) – None Listed
64: Mind Game (2004)
63: Lupin III: The Secret of Mamo (1978) – Hulu (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 19.99 Blu Ray 37.39
62: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) – Amazon Blu Ray 29.52
61: Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade (1998) – None Listed
60: Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979) – Amazon Blu Ray 39.98
59: Oseam (2003) – None Listed
58: Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica: Rebellion (2013) – None Listed
57: The Wind Rises (2013) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) Amazon DVD 18.81 Blu Ray 23.52
56: Cencoroll (2009) – None Listed
55: Chie the Brat (1981) – None Listed
54: 5cm Per Second (2007) – None Listed
53: Porco Rosso (1992)- None Listed
52: Garden of Sinners (2007 – 2009) – None Listed
51: Ghost in the Shell (1995) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Digital Rental (various) 1.99, 2.99 | Digital Purchase (various) 9.99 | Amazon DVD 7.87
50: Steamboy (2004) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Digital Rental (Various) 2.99 | Digital Purchase (Various) 9.99 | Amazon DVD 8.97 | Starz (Subscription)
49: Death Billiards (2013) – None Listed
48: Steins;Gate: Burdened Domain of Déjà vu (2013) – None Listed
47: Rainbow-Colored Fireflies: The Eternal Summer Vacation (2012) – None Listed
46: End of Evangelion (1997) – None Listed
45: Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door (2001) – None Listed
44: House of Small Cubes (2008) – None Listed
43: Tales from Earthsea (2006) – None Listed
42: Whisper of the Heart (1995) – Amazon DVD 20.95 Blu Ray 24.96
41: Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 22.89 Blu Ray 27.19
40: Princess Arete (2001) – None Listed
39: Patema Inverted (2013) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Digital Rental 0.99 (Vudu) / 3.99 (Various) | Digital Purchase 9.99 (Various) | Amazon DVD 19.49 Blu Ray 22.99
38: The Door Into Summer (1981) – None Listed
37: Metropolis (2001) – Amazon DVD 8.69
36: Junkers Come Here (1994) – Hulu (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 4.71
35: The Dog of Flanders (1997) – Digital Rental 2.99 (Vudu) | Digital Purchase 9.99 (Vudu) | Amazon DVD 11.98
34: K-On! Movie (2011) – Unclear. Ask later.
33: Hotori: I Only Wish For Happiness (2005) – None Listed.
32: Saint☆Onii-san (2013) – None Listed.
31: The Secret World of Arrietty (2010) – Amazon DVD 22.17 Blu Ray 25.89
30: Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya (2010) – Amazon DVD 119.99
29: My Neighbor Totoro (1988) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 19.99 Blu Ray 26.14
28: Sword of the Stranger (2007) – Hulu (Subscription) | Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon 29.99 Blu ray 59.99
27: Pom Poko (1994) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 22.30 Blu Ray 24.99
26: Ponyo (2008) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 19.99 Blu Ray 25.76
25: Akira (1988) – Amazon DVD 12.49 Blu Ray 16.79
24: Revolutionary Girl Utena: Adolescence of Utena (1999) – None Listed
23: Leafie: A Hen into the Wild (2011) – Amazon Blu Ray 53.95
22: From Up on Poppy Hill (2011) – Amazon Blu Ray 19.95
21: Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 19.99 Blu Ray 24.99
20: Summer Wars (2009) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 59.99 Blu Ray 17.40
19: Tekkon Kinkreet (2006) – None Listed
18: Into the Forest of Fireflies’ Light (2011) – None Listed
17: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006) – Amazon DVD 5.75 Blu Ray 22.99 | Xfinity (Free)
16: Paprika (2006) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Digital Rental 2.99 (Various) | Digital Purchase 9.99 (Various) | Amazon DVD 9.72 Blu Ray 7.99
15: Millennium Actress (2001) – None Listed
14: Garden of Words (2013) – None Listed
13: Tokyo Godfathers (2003) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 34.95
12: Grave of the Fireflies (1988) – Amazon Blu Ray 17.66
11: Macross: Do You Remember Love (1984) – None Listed.
10: Barefoot Gen (1983) – None Listed.
9: Summer Days with Coo (2007) – None Listed.
8: Spirited Away (2001) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 19.96 Blu Ray 99.98
7: Princess Mononoke (1997) – Amazon Blu Ray 23.52
6: Only Yesterday (1991) – None Listed.
5: Perfect Blue (1998) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Amazon DVD 99.95
4: Wolf Children (2012) – None Listed.
3: A Letter to Momo (2011) – Netflix DVD (Subscription) | Digital Rental 3.99 (Google Play) | Digital Purchase 9.99 (Google Play / XBox Points) | Amazon Blu Ray 41.99
2: Time of Eve (2010) – None Listed
1: Colorful (2010) – Hulu Plus (Subscription) | Digital Rental 3.99 (Apple) | Digital Purchase 9.99 (Apple)
Edit: Since writing this, and based on a comment below, I have tried the Cianciullo taralli. The texture is almost identical to what I remember, the closest to anything else I have encountered. The flavor seems a bit different, but 65 years later that memory could have faded.
I’ve written before and copiously about Sara Lee Frozen All-Butter Brownies. But for a long time I’ve been craving these lost little treats from Stella d’Oro, flower-shaped biscuits that I used to get at my nonna’s house in New York when I was young.
Not soft, not crunchy, but with a unique texture all thier own. And they appear to have vanished forever. I have written to Stella d’Oro and begged for a resurrection of this product, as I know many others have done, but thus far our pleas have fallen on deaf ears.
Someone suggested that Clementi’s original taralli are as close as you can get:
Taralli (foreground) and other yummy things from Clementi
And I’d try some in a heartbeat but you have to order them by the case. Other websites sell them by the pack, but at double the price plus shipping, so I’ll have to wait until I can get down to Hackensack to pick up a bag and see for myself, which thing I will not fail to do.
Speaking of taralli, let me introduce you to Graziella. The photo and text below are from The Italians, Face of a Nation by John Phillips, published in 1965 by McGraw-Hill.
“When Graziella was born in 1864, Lincoln was President of the United States of America, Napoleon III was Emperor of France, Bismarck was Chancellor of Prussia, Victoria was Queen of England, and Victor Emmanuel II was the first ruler of the new kingdom of Italy. Thirty-nine months before, an ancient civilization had finally become a young nation. though France maintained the sovereignty of the Papacy over Rome, while Austria retained the Italian-speaking provinces of Mantua, Venice and Trento. Graziella was two when Victor Emmanuel took advantage of the Austro-Prussian war to annex Mantua and Venice. On her seventh birthday, after Napoleon fell, her monarch got a special present: Rome. Graziella never did learn to read. Her sovereign was more interested in colonial annexation than in the literacy rate of his people. At eighteen, the cheerful illiterate married a Neapolitan diver. That was the year Italy took her first dip into colonialism and came up with Assab, on the Red Sea. During Graziella’s first pregnancy, Italy signed her first international agreement and joined the Triple Alliance. This pact favored Austria, the hereditary enemy, and benefited Germany, but it did gratify the Italian national pride. The first of Graziella’s nine children was born the same year that a blacksmith’s wife had a son whose name was Benito Mussolini. The birth of Graziella’s second child coincided with the conquest of Eritrea. Then came Teresa in 1892, the year the Italian socialists held their first congress. By the time Assunta was born, two years later, the socialist party had been dissolved. In 1895 Graziella had her fifth child in the midst of national rejoicing – Ethiopia had been conquered, Graziella mourned the death of her sixth child in the midst of national grief over being driven out of Ethiopia. Rosa’s birth preceded the tumultuous riots of 1898, which led to reprisals against the workers who had participated in them. Peppino was born the year Umberto l was assassinated in reprisal for the 1898 reprisals. Graziella’s last child celebrated her tenth birthday the year Italy conquered Libya and Cyrenaica. A year later, in 1913, Graziella went to work to supplement her husband’s earnings. She had been selling fried peppers and eggplant for a year when the socialist firebrand Benito Mussolini tried to start a revolution at the outbreak of World War 1. Mussolini was against nationalism and war. The spring of 1915, Graziella moved her stand next to Zi Teresa, a restaurant on Naples’ waterfront, as Italy switched partners and declared war on her former allies of the Triple Alliance – in the name of “Holy Egoism.” In return, Italy received Trento, Alto Adige, Venezia Giulia, Trieste, and the Istrian Peninsula. Graziella was 58 when Mussolini became a nationalist, and 71 at the time he attacked Ethiopia. She was 75 the year the Duce blustered into World War II, and 80 when he could be seen dangling head down at a gas station in Milan. Graziella became a widow the year the monarchy was abolished in 1946. Since then, too old to fry peppers and eggplant, she sells taralli. You can find her along Santa Lucia any day the weather is fair.”
What an incredible life; it reflects a century of Italian history. I lived in Naples in 1969, and I swear I saw Graziella there; I suspect, however, that I’m just combining my own memories with the images and words from this lovely book, because by that time Graziella would have been 105. At any rate, thinking of taralli always makes me think of her; you can see the massive ones she sold in the picture above.
If you want to try some of your own, I found a likely recipe at Lidia’s Italy.
Please, Stella d’Oro, bring back your egg biscuits.
Playing in the World Game 
The Old Wolf has Spoken
¹ Not “plugh”