Young Scientists

Sent to me by a translation colleague in 1997.

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The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. [1]

Question: What is one horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

Lime is a green tasting rock.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.

We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won’t drown when we breathe.

Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog’s tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

The wind is like the air, only pushier.


[1] No guarantee is made as to the source or veracity of these statements – however, all of them sound as though they could have come from advanced gradeschoolers. At any rate, some of them are quite charming.

Astronomer Pranks

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From Shorpy, Washington, D.C. “Prof. H.E. Burton, 8/5/29.” A Star Search matinee. National Photo Company Collection glass negative.

There was a time when astronomers actually looked into their telescopes, instead of working at remote locations on sophisticated digital (or a bit earlier, photographic) equipment. But one can imagine that there were times when things got a bit boring in the observatory, and then idle minds became the devil’s workshop.

Al Frueh proposed just such an incident in 1937, in the New York Times. Here’ for your gratuitous pleasure, is reproduced

THE JEST

Al Frueh - The Jest (Astronomers)

 

As a kid, I had one of those little black eye tubes. It worked great. And just in case you think old guys can’t be trolls,

Old Troll

 

Watch out for retired people. We have the time to make your life hell.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

In Praise of Darwin. In defense of faith.

While hunting for the Greek proverb I used in my last post, I came across this article I had written over at LiveJournal on the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s Origin of Species. I thought it worthwhile enough to share here, slightly modified.


Around 153 years ago, Charles Darwin published his “Origin of Species“. And then the fight started.

The man was a genius of observation, analysis and synthesis. He looked at a jigsaw puzzle spread out all over the world, with virtually millions of pieces, and managed to pull together a single, coherent picture, even though it still has many gaps in it where pieces are missing.

I know of no scientist more praised and more maligned at the same time.

I remember when the Macintosh computer was a relatively new phenomenon, there was this great game called “Darwin’s Dilemma”, which required you to solve puzzles by pushing life forms around on a board and causing them to evolve. The version I had was won when the last two pieces combined to create a tiny image of a nude couple. Sweetly ironic. And, it was a ruddy difficult game to beat, and terribly entertaining to play.

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Screen capture from a PC version of Darwin’s Dilemma. The Mac version had better graphics. As usual.

Today, the atheist community is holding up Darwin as a standard to which they hope humanity will flock. And militant atheists, just like militant Muslims, or militant Christians, or militant segregationists, or militant anything, are anathema to a society that works for everyone; any ideology which seeks to impose itself on others by dint of coercion  must be fought with all the vigor we can muster as a global community, or we are doomed to perpetual servitude.

The Greeks have an interesting saying: “Η γλώσσα κόκκαλα δεν έχει και κόκκαλα τσακίζει” (the tongue has no bones, but it breaks bones). An ideology can also be imposed without physical weapons; money, lawsuits, media, spin doctors, mockery, academic intimidation and peer pressure can often succeed where violence and terror would not. And today’s evangelical atheists seek to mainstream two main ideas:

1) Religion can be proven false, and
2) Religion is usually or always harmful

The irony in using the Darwin flag as a vexillum for the armies of the unchurched is that Charles Darwin himself professed only to be an agnostic. In Francis Darwin’s biography, (among others), he is quoted as saying, “In my most extreme fluctuations I have never been an atheist in the sense of denying the existence of God.”1

Whether religion can be proven false is irrelevant – since the dawn of consciousness, there have been those who have looked outside themselves for a source of strength, and those who have not. Whether religion is a force for good or evil is irrelevant, because religion is like a weapon: only the person who wields it can decide how it will be used.

On this pale blue dot, there’s room for everyone’s personal beliefs about our place in the universe. If you believe in a power greater than yourself, and it moves you to improve yourself and raise the human condition, that’s a good thing. If you believe in the notion of the greater good because it’s logical and reasonable, and this moves you to improve yourself and raise the human condition, that’s good. And, our great freedoms of thought and speech guarantee you the right to share with others what makes you happy. But to impose your beliefs by the sword is ungood. And to impose your unbelief by social activism is equally ungood. Either way, if you’re a jerk, your personal philosophy isn’t working.

Remember:

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So whatever you happen to believe, let’s lift a glass to Darwin today. His life’s work has gone a long way towards explaining the miraculous diversity of earth’s biosphere. And if I were God, I’d pin a medal on his chest. [2]

The Old Wolf has spoken.


1 Darwin, Francis, The Life of Charles Darwin. London: Tiger Books,1995, 55.
2 So it’s incongruous. So sue me.

Judge not. Period.

Found this story on Reddit, posted by user dk0, and felt moved to share it here, mildly edited for clarity.


A man who worked as an archaeologist was leading a tour group through a museum as part of his summer job. He had a large and prominent tattoo in a visible place, not anything obscene or even particularly challenging.

A person in the tour group, a middle aged woman, was persistently very snippy and dismissive of his lecture and when he finally confronted her about it in front of the group, she said she couldn’t take him seriously because he was tattooed.

He replied “this isn’t an ordinary tattoo, you see.” while slightly tilting the tattooed extremity, almost as if he expected it to beam a glint of light back at the viewer if cambered just right, “this tattoo is magic.” he said with a twinge of mysticism in his voice.

“If i hold it just right, it exposes the prejudice and ugliness of small and petty people.”


It puts me in mind of the little vignette by St. Ex found in The Little Prince:

I have serious reason to believe that the planet from which the little prince came is the asteroid known as B-612.

This asteroid has only once been seen through the telescope. That was by a Turkish astronomer, in 1909.

On making his discovery, the astronomer had presented it to the International Astronomical Congress, in a great demonstration. But he was in Turkish costume, and so nobody would believe what he said.

4c

Grown-ups are like that…

Fortunately, however, for the reputation of Asteroid B-612, a Turkish dictator made a law that his subjects, under pain of death, should change to European costume. So in 1920 the astronomer gave his demonstration all over again, dressed with impressive style and elegance. And this time everybody accepted his report.

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One would think that certain subsets of society would get the concept of judgment; a man named Jesus is reputed to have said, around 2 millennia ago,

“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.”

Certainly those who follow the teachings of that individual understand this, right?

These are “Christians”:

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The Westboro Baptist Church condemns just about everyone to Hell, without knowing a thing about who they are.

These are Christians too:

Street Morons

Evangelical Christians sending Latter-day Saints to Hell, because they happen to understand God differently than they do.

Of course, debates of this nature always seem laughable to humanists, sort of like fighting over this:

FSM-Fight

So of course, humanists have a firm grip on the destructive nature of judgment, right?

Humanism is a worldview which says that reason and science are the best ways to understand the world around us. Dignity and compassion should be the basis for how we act toward others.
-American Humanist Association

And yet we see statements like the following from Ernest Hemingway: “All thinking men are atheists,” which banishes 4/5 of the world’s population from the ranks of thinking humanity.

To people on both sides of the fence, I say this:

world view

Atheism has taken a prominent place in social dialog since – it seems to me – Madalyn Murray O’Hair entered the scene. It’s hip to be atheist, and in most academic circles it’s de rigeur. People of faith are ostracized, belittled, humiliated, and sidelined. The only acceptable topic of discussion when it comes to religion is its excesses and abuses. By the same token, in other communities, standing up for documented scientific realities such as evolution or global climate change are enough to get you excommunicated, or at the very least subject to the same ostracism and denigration.

That’s no way to run a railroad; it’s no way to run a planet.

I have massive respect for the likes of these gentlemen [1]:

Scientists

Each one has been, in his own time, a crusader for reason and fact. Some have been combative, others encouraging. Some take the position that religion is an evil to be purged from the face of the earth, others put more energy into encouraging free thought and curiosity. Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s quote is one of my favorites:

“I don’t have an issue with what you do in the church, but I’m going to be up in your face if you’re going to knock on my science classroom and tell me they’ve got to teach what you’re teaching in your Sunday school. Because that’s when we’re going to fight.”
The Amazing Meeting, Keynote Speech, 2008

But I have to say this: I’ve read their writings, and at least two of them sound more than a little hopeful that this empirically-observable universe is not all there is. To their credit, all of them have subjugated any personal hopes or beliefs to the rigors of empirical observation.

There must be room at the table for everyone. No faith is going to convert the world with persuasion or the scimitar, and the passage of time will not still the yearning in the breasts of billions for something higher than themselves, something more personal than the thought of hydrogen atoms evolved to consciousness.

Judge not. Just stop it. Promote what you love, but don’t put down those who don’t fit your mold.

Of the faithful, I beseech: Believe what you will, but don’t deny empirical evidence. Of the humanists, I implore: Promote scientific truth and awareness, but stop relegating believers to second-class intellectual citizenship. Neither of these positions are worthy of a world that works for everyone, with no one left out.

The Old Wolf has spoken.


[1] Asimov, Sagan, Dawkins, Nye, Tyson. It does not escape my attention that there are no ladies in this lineup; I have no doubt that I could find an equal number, but in this case the reality is that the spokespeople for the triumph of reason via science happen to be overwhelmingly male at the moment.

Unexplained mysteries: Ball Lightning

Unlike UFO’s and Nessie, for which there is only scratchy, hazy, unfocused imagery available, ball lightning appears to have been captured on video many times, and even recreated in the laboratory. There are as many hypotheses as there are scientists studying it.

The video below is fascinating and haunting – especially with the background music. I have to say the Romanian one looks a bit hokey, and reminded me of one of these:

lumindiskbatteryoperatedwhite-379x376

These were everywhere in Trek TNG, and I have one in my office.

The other clips, however, appear genuine.

Strange things exist in our world.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Voice of Alexander Graham Bell

According to The Verge, new data-retrieval techniques have enabled researchers to play a wax disc recorded by Alexander Graham Bell on 15 April 1885, and previously deemed “uplayable”. Not only was the wax disc, which had been donated to the Smithsonian by Bell himself, heavily damaged, there was also no indication of what kind of device could play it back. However, by dint of taking high-resolution images of the disc and then using computer analysis to rebuild damaged areas, Bell’s voice can be heard clearly. He spends most of his time reciting numbers, but provides an audio “signature” at the end of the recording.

transcript

 

Bell’s transcript of the recording

The recording itself, with captions.

An intriguing bit of history.

The Old Wolf has spoken (but not as well as Alexander Graham Bell.)

It’s big.

Four of my favorite images. They require little commentary.

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Made of Stars

So much truth here. None of this detracts in any way from my spiritual walk… somehow everything seems to fit together well for me, despite obvious and irreconcilable gaps in my understanding.

But it’s nice to know we’re all part of a much bigger scheme.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The universe may be watching, but we are listening.

ngc6751_hst_715

 

A friend of mine posted this picture of the Glowing Eye nebula (gacked from APOD) in the constellation of Aquila, taken by the Hubble telescope. It’s clear that the universe is watching.

However, we are peering just as deeply into the void, and now moreso than ever.

 

 

ears

 

According to the Miami Herald,  the Atacama Large Millimeter Array, better known as ALMA, is by far the largest radio telescope on earth. Interestingly, despite their size, the dishes are portable. Engineers transported them around the plateau on two giant flat-bed trucks. What the telescope picks up depends on where the antenna are positioned. Click to the Herald article for more details.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Seeing the Universe in Perspective

Escala de tamaños Sistema Solar

This image is a lovely digital representation of our solar system, with planets and orbits to scale. We look rather insignificant on that third rock from the left.

However.

Have a look at this image, comparing our sun to other stars in the galaxy: (click the image for full resolution)

sun_is_a_pixel

Notice that in order to get VY Canis Majoris in the picture, our sun shows up as a single pixel. They’re not just whistling dixie when they say “supergiant”.

Thanks to blogger inhadowz, I can also point you to the following video, which animates the scale very nicely:

The scale of things in our universe is awe-inspiring.

The Old Wolf has spoken.