Edit: As pointed out by sagacious commenter Inshadowz below, the picture is not a photoshop – but all is not exactly as it seems. I echo the link he provided to a charming tale of Internet sleuthing.

More information at Gawker.

“I am leaving soon and you’ll forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day and the threat of aggression by any group anywhere can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all or no one is secure. Now this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. A t the first signs of violence they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is we live in peace without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war, free to pursue more profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.”

-Klaatu, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”

A friend of mine pointed me to this today, and it’s too good to keep to myself.

In the 1970s, professor J.R.R. Tolkien made a few audio recordings of some readings from his works The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings which were released through the spoken-word label Caedmon Audio. Around the same time Tolkien authorized a adaptation of The Hobbit to be made through the UK record label Argo Records which had been absorbed by Decca Records at the time. This adaptation was spearheaded by Demi Demetriou who enlisted the help of the Scottish actor Nicol Williamson. His talent with voicework allowed him to collaborate with audio director Harely Usill in re-editing the original script, removing many ‘he said, she said, said so and so’ etc, and relying instead on his vocal character performances to convey who was saying what to whom. As a result the resulting abridged version of The Hobbit was both dramatic and unique without an over-reliance on the descriptive narrative.

The recordings were released on 4 vinyl LPs in 1974 by Conifer Records. This version been sourced from such a set and is offered under a Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 license

In memorandum of Nicol Williamson (1936 – 2011)

We’ve listened, precious, and we loves it.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Little Orphant Annie

by James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)

James Whitcomb Riley was one of America’s most popular poets of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, often known as the “Hoosier Poet” and the “Children’s Poet.” He often wrote in dialect; his transcriptions are delightful and evoke a simpler and more bucolic America.

Read this poem by firelight with some good dramatic intonation, and you can give the little ones nightmares for a week!

“Little Orphant Annie” by Ethel Franklin Betts

Little Orphant Annie’s come to our house to stay,
An’ wash the cups an’ saucers up, an’ brush the crumbs away,
An’ shoo the chickens off the porch, an’ dust the hearth, an’ sweep,
An’ make the fire, an’ bake the bread, an’ earn her board-an’-keep;
An’ all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an’ has the mostest fun
A-list’nin’ to the witch-tales ‘at Annie tells about,
An’ the Gobble-uns ‘at gits you

Ef you

Don’t

Watch

Out!

Black and white illustrations by Mildred Rogers Dickeman^[1]

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn’t say his prayers,–
An’ when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an’ his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An’ when they turn’t the kivvers down, he wuzn’t there at all!
An’ they seeked him in the rafter-room, an’ cubby-hole, an’ press,
An’ seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an’ ever’-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an’ roundabout:–
An’ the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you

Ef you

Don’t

Watch

Out!

An’ one time a little girl ‘ud allus laugh an’ grin,
An’ make fun of ever’ one, an’ all her blood-an’-kin;
An’ wunst, when they was “company,” an’ ole folks wuz there,
She mocked ’em an’ shocked ’em, an’ said she didn’t care!
An’ thist as she kicked her heels, an’ turn’t to run an’ hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin’ by her side,
An’ they snatched her through the ceilin’ ‘fore she knowed what she’s about!
An’ the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you

Ef you

Don’t

Watch

Out!

An’ little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An’ the lamp-wick sputters, an’ the wind goes woo-oo!
An’ you hear the crickets quit, an’ the moon is gray,
An’ the lightnin’-bugs in dew is all squenched away,–
You better mind yer parunts, an’ yer teachurs fond an’ dear,
An’ churish them ‘at loves you, an’ dry the orphant’s tear,
An’ he’p the pore an’ needy ones ‘at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you

Ef you

Don’t

Watch

Out!

Listen to a rare 1912 recording of Riley himself reciting “Little Orphant Annie”

[1]Riley, James Whitcomb, A Host of Children, Bobbs-Merrill, 1920

A few of my favorite food-related health cartoons.

Bizarro © Dan Piraro

©Tribune Media Services

Bizarro © Dan Piraro

“Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made.”
– John Godfrey Saxe

Retail © Norm Feuti

©Mike Peters

The Old Wolf has *burp* spoken

A beautiful video by Mike Petty featuring the abandoned Joyland amusement park in Wichita, Kansas. It’s hard to see institutions like this crumble away, but the world is a big place and social forces beyond anyone’s control come into play.

The Old Wolf has spoken.