To my “forward-happy” friends

I love you guys. You know I do. So don’t think I’m dissing you or getting on your case. But there are a few things I’d like all of my friends and family to understand.

First:

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If it’s not true, don’t send it, unless it’s just a nice, uplifting story; in that case, label it as such.

(PS – this applies to Facebook posts, too.)

Second:

BCC

Your Grandma Pensilthea probably doesn’t want her email address distributed to 100 other people. She will hunt you down and kill you in your sleep.

Third:

Good Luck

If something you want to send to your friends has this bit of nonsense at the end, delete it before sending it on. You can’t really believe that good fortune depends on how many people you send an email to, now can you? We make our own luck in this world by what we choose to do.

That’s all. It’s very simple. If everyone would do these three things, the quantity of  emails in our inboxes would go down, and the quality would go way up.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Auto Repair: It pays to shop around

We recently took my wife’s good old 97 Tercel, “Jack”, in for his yearly emissions test. Sadly, he failed – it seems that his catalytic converter had gracefully given up the ghost. After 15 years, that’s not unexpected. So we began to check local repair shops for a replacement. What I found was a real eye-opener.  Here are the quotes I was given from local service people. Prices reflect parts and labor.

Brent Brown Toyota, Orem, UT $1078.59
Larry Miller Toyota, Salt Lake City $973.00
Midas Salt Lake $300.00 to $350.00
Exhaust Unlimited $220.00 to $1000.00
Auto Performance Napa Autocare, Provo, UT $350.00
Autoworks Car Care, Payson, UT $220.00

Most places quoted me based on some ultra-special converter they said the car needed, which in itself cost around $800.00. We ended up going through Autoworks in Payson; they did a fine job, Jack passed his test, and off we went, happy at having saved significant money.

I have nothing against a business model based on honest markup for a fair profit, but some of these places definitely don’t have the customer’s best interest in mind.

Another story that I just happened to recall, since I’m on the subject.  Years ago, my first wife and our children took a trip to SoCal in our 1983 Buick Skylark. We had a wonderful time, and about 15 minute after we had gotten on the freeway in San Diego to head home, our transmission went out. I arranged a tow truck, and not knowing anyone in the area, had our car taken to AAMCO.

Big mistake.

They hauled our car in, took the transmission off, quoted us $1875 to repair it, and refused to put it back in unless we paid them to do it. Bastards. I later found out that nationwide, AAMCO is known for meaning “All Automatics Must Come Out.” I told them where they could stick their scam, and arranged for Interstate Transmissions to come get our car (and the tranny in a box). I sent my family home by air, rented a vehicle and stayed with my brother-in-law for a few days until the car was done, and Interstate charged me something like $1175, which included a lifetime warranty. And a good thing, too – because the transmission did go out again a year later, and they honored their warranty and fixed it at no additional cost.

Never take the first quote you get on something; always check around; and remember, a big name doesn’t guarantee honest or fair service. Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

No Bearla (No English)

Anyone who knows me at all probably knows that I have this love of Ireland and its language, Gailge.

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Speak Irish to me or I’ll break your face

One day in New York, around 1969, I stopped to use the phone in a pub, and while there I struck up a conversation with the bartender. The conversation turned to languages, and when I told him that I enjoyed learning them he said to me, ” Well, don’t learn Gaelic “. This ominous warning piqued my curiosity, and that very day I went and found a copy of Teach Yourself Irish by Myles Dillon and Donncha Ó Cróinin. Unfortunately this volume was old in methodology and in orthography – it used a lot of words that had even more silent letters than today’s version uses, after a spelling reform. As a result, pronunciation was a problem; it would take a native speaker to help me understand that Dún Laoghaire, for instance, is pronounced Doon Leery.

So I set the book aside until about 1990, when I discovered an Irish course in my local library system, Cúrsa Gaeilge by the Linguaphone Institute. With the help of this “Rosetta Stone”, unfortunately out of print, I began making progress. Since then I have discovered numerous excellent courses both in print and on the net. If you’re interested in learning Irish, I would recommend Learning Irish by Michael Ó Siadhail; the new Teach Yourself Irish; Pimsleur Irish; or Buntús Cainte. Rosetta Stone announced their first-level Irish course in 2008.

I have been enchanted by this intriguing language and its intriguing speakers. In 1998 I fulfilled a lifetime dream to visit Ireland with my family, and spent a week in Abbeyville Cottage in Cill Mocheallog (Kilmallock).

Abbeyville Cottage

We explored the Dingle peninsula and stopped in the Gaeltacht (Irish-speaking) area of Baile an Fhirtéaraigh (Ballyferriter); nearly fell off the cliffs of Moher; saw Waterford crystal being made; experienced a medieval dinner at Bunratty Castle near Limerick as well as St. John’s Castle in the same town; explored the rock of Cashel; went horseback riding in a brisk Irish rain; attended church meetings in Tralee; kissed the Blarney stone and dined at the Deanery in Cork… I’m afraid all it did was whet my appetite for more. The reality far exceeded the expectation; fortunately I was able to make another trip back in 2001, to attend a translator’s conference in Trá Lí, but it’s still not enough. I’m greedy. I want to go back.

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Cliffs of Moher

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Irish Street Signs

A blessing on this lovely land and its equally lovely people.

No Bearla

Filmmaker and native Irish speaker Manchán Magan made a documentary in which he traveled through Ireland only speaking Irish, just to see how far he could get. People demanded he switch to English; shopkeepers told him to get lost; officials refused to help him; and people on the street ignored him. But he kept at it and found willing speakers here and there. (From The Week.) His video gives you a delightful glimpse into the struggles of the Irish-speaking community to keep their language alive.

The following two videos by Dough Productions are entertaining and full of pathos. To this day, Irish continues the Sysiphean task of defending itself against the onslaught of English. Whether the language will survive this century remains to be seen; I feel as though having learned a bit of it, I’m doing my part – however small – to stem the tide.

My Name is Yu Ming – Follow the adventures of Yu Ming, a young Chinese shopkeeper in a dead-end job, who moves to Ireland to start life anew… only to find out that the “old language” is no longer in use!

Fluent Dysphasia – Pity poor Michael Murphy!  After a night of celebrating with a friend, he wakes up with a hangover and a problem:  He no longer speaks or understands English, and can only speak Irish!  How will he solve this difficult challenge?

Tá an Sean-fhaolchú labhartha.

Bring your “A” Game

We all make jokes about heartless landlords foreclosing on widows and orphans… you can probably see the same image I do in your mind’s eye, even without help.

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But for the love of Mogg’s holy grandmother, who would victimize the Girl Scouts?

Recent news articles show a distressing trend in our society to prey on the easiest and weakest victims. Last Saturday, a Utah man (with an accomplice driving his getway car) robbed a girl scout troop of their cash; in Oregon, some bottom-feeder placed a hoax order for 500 cases of cookies with another troop[1]; in Seattle this month, vandals trashed a garage full of Girl Scout cookies; and in South Carolina, a man was charged with taking 450 boxes of cookies from a warehouse.

All these people may think they’re smart and clever; they may be desperate for drugs; they may be irritated by some imagined social agenda; who knows? It doesn’t matter – they are douchebags, wastes of human cytoplasm, lower than the scum I would scrape off the soles of my shoes. And the universe will pay them back, because wickedness never was happiness. In their hearts, they are already miserable.

The point here is not to focus on the negative in society, because that will always be with us. The point is, it’s time for people of good will in the world to step up their game. I heartily support the affirmation of Sarah Miller, director of communication for Girls Scouts of Oregon and Washington, when she said, “For every one person that has bad intentions, there are hundreds more with good intentions and good hearts that are here to help you.” There are more of us than there are of them, but it’s time to do more. Evil is rising, and we need to move out of our comfort zones to make a difference on a daily basis, and not just when the news reports a need. Edmund Burke (or someone else)[2] once said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” And it’s true. Evil will flourish if unopposed, and scurries for dark corners when people of good will confront it.

This in no way implies that people are not already reaching out and doing good at every possible opportunity; many are[3]. A great place to read about good things happening in the world is The Good News Network; certainly a more uplifting option than the mainstream news outlets which are only interested in one thing – generating advertising revenue, which they do by pushing visual impact, drama, and blood-pressure-raising sound bytes rather than solid content. As I mentioned elsewhere, one of my favorite film quotes ever is when Secretary Rittenhouse tells Jenny Lerner in “Deep Impact,” “Look, I know you’re just a reporter… but you used to be a person, right?”

Let’s all step up our game. Let’s bring our first-string efforts to making this world a better place, a place that works for 100% of humanity. Let’s all do something every day to lift, strengthen, heal, and brighten. Only if we do this can we stem the rising tide of darkness and ignorance.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[EDIT: As of 3/19/2013, one suspect in the cash robbery has been arrested and the other identified. Updates as they happen.]

[EDIT: On 3/21/2013, the prime suspect turned himself in.]

[EDIT: On 3/23/2103, City Hall offered the girls another chance to sell cookies; community members have donated enough to make up for their lost cash as well.]


[1] Good Samaritans in Oregon have stepped up to help these girls – last Saturday they sold about half of their excess inventory, and will probably sell the rest next week.

[2]  That’s an unusual attribution, but there’s a significant controversy about who said it first. A masterful summary of the quote and its history is found at The Quote Investigator.

[3] For example.

The Lullaby Factory

Deliciousness like this cannot be hid under a bushel, but rather must be set atop a hill for all to see.

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An architectural project, a secret garden of music and healing, dwells in an unlikely space between London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital and a neighboring building. It looks like Animusic crossed with the Pompidou museum in Paris, sounds like the Swingles on magic mushrooms and accompanied by a chorus of angels; and feels as though Agatha Heterodyne  had landed on Pandora and tried to recreate the world of Alice in Wonderland.

Click through for the project’s website; a writeup on Neatorama; and a sample of the lullaby itself, which can only be heard locally at special listening pods or by tuning in to the secret radio station.

The Old Wolf has listened, slack-jawed, and tried to speak worthily.