A conversation with Mr. Zhang Yong, a Chinese Scammer

As I have done before, I have had some fun wasting a scammer’s time.
Lesson No. 1 – Don’t mess with retired people: we have the time to make your life miserable.
Blue text: My communications with the scammer
Green Text: My commentary

Here is the first email I received from “Mr. Zhang Yong.”
Mr. Zhang Yong <concretelady@insightbb.com> (email address no. 1)

I business have a proposal of you


Well, and what?


Mr.Zhang Yong <ymr.zhang@msn.com> (email address no. 2)

MR.ZHANG YONG
BANK OF ASIA (CHINA)
Bank of China Tower,
1 Garden Road,Hong Kong,Chin

Attention: Please

I am Mr Zhang Yong the manager Audit & Accounts dept. in Bank Of Bank of Asia (China) I am writing to request your assistance to transfer the sum of $9,300,000.00 (Nine Million, Three Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) into your accounts.The above sum belongs to our deceased customer late Mr. Hamadi Hashem Ahelbarra from Iraqi who died along with his entire family during the war in a bomb blast that hit his home at Mukaradeeb and since then the fund has been in a suspend seaccount.My purpose of contacting you now is this: My bank during the last executive board meeting resolved that if by the end of this year and there is no beneficiary to the said account, the account will be confiscated and the fund sent to the bank treasury and this is where I am interested in and wants you to come in:I want you to come in as the Next of Kin/Beneficiary to this account. I have all the titled documents to back your claim and as the Manager of this branch, it is in my power to carry out any form of verification on the beneficiary of the said fund and process the fund wire without any problem. I want you to know that this is legal, 100% risk free as all the titled documents would be changed to your name as the new beneficiary of the said funds, and the fund wired to any bank account you wish to have it wired to.

Please note we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you. When the fund finally gets to your nominated bank account.Thank you so much for your prompt reply to my mail. First let me state once again that I have been prompted to trust you and will depend on you to show me maximum trust, confidentiality and above all follow my instruction strictly. As you will understand the transaction is 100% success assured in as much as you follow my instructions, within a period of 5 banking days we will finish all the documentary aspect of this transaction and money transferred.I will demand that you give me the privilege to handle the whole issue with my professional experience and position. I have to at this point ask for your sincere confidentiality, please assure me this and keep to it that the next person to you do not know about this transaction as we have to keep it highly confidential. You should know that I am working with the bank and a manager in that matter hence my position and job will be at risk should anybody know from your end.The basic requirement here is that as you will know I do not want to let my bank know I am behind the transfer so all our communications will be restricted to email. I want to make something clear to you, the fact that I am the manager Audit of this branch does not guarantee the security of this transaction, whatever we are doing must be done under a very high level of confidentiality. We must pretend we do not know each other, you must never mention my name to any staff of my bank during and after this transaction. This is for our security and safety of this transaction.The issue of documentation is no problem; I will handle that as soon as we commence the transfer process. I reside in the banking quarters here in Huayuanshiqiao,Shanghai (China),and would want us to meet but our meeting will be under a very high surveillance to avoid being seen together until this is over. My bank has some secret security officers that monitor my movement as senior bank executive and I must play safe to avoid being interrogated. I am an American by birth and was transfer here in China from our head branch in Hong Kong. I am ready for this deal to be accomplished and I wish so from you. My bank will have this approved since everything about this deposit is with me and the fund in my branch.On no account must you discuss this with anyone; whatever you want to ask me please do that by email and I will answer you immediately. The fund would be transferred through a more secured telegraphic wire transfer means with evidence proving the genuine source of the fund and you as the legitimate beneficiary of the fund and no government agency can stand against it. With my experience as a banker in financial matters, I will handle this.Please get back to me today with the above stated information so that I will be able to extract the deposit agreement and then make official application of the claim in your name and submit it to the board that meets once every week. As soon as I receive your assurance along with the information above, I will advice you on what next to do. For any question you may want to ask please send it to me by email, I am very ready to answer them. I am guaranteed that they will give the approval instantly as the money is in my branch. I do not want to write so much on the procedure so that you will not be confused but I inform you that it is simple and fast. I will be waiting to hear from you today, respond to me today if you can so we can proceed with information below..

Your Full Name……………………….
Your Sex…………………………….
Your Age……………………………
Your Address…………………………
Marital Status…………………..
Your Occupation……………………..
Your Personal Mobile Number………………..
Your Personal Fax Number…………………..Your Prompt response to this letter will be appreciated.

Thanks
Zhang Yong


MR ZHANG YONG <rtiberio@embarqmail.com> (email address no. 3)

Did you get my proposal


Dear Mr. Zhang Yong:

I have received your proposal. I have studied it carefully. Here is the information you requested:

Your Full Name…………..Wolfington X. Analemma…………..
Your Sex…………..Male……………….
Your Age………….55………………..
Your Address…………850 Bryant St., #525 San Francisco, CA 94103………………
Marital Status………Single…………..
Your Occupation………..Investment Banker……………
Your Personal Mobile Number……415-553-0123…………..
Your Personal Fax Number……….415-553-0778………….
(Note that these are phone numbers and addresses for the San Francisco Police Department.)

MR. ZHANG YONG <ymr.zhangi@live.com> (email address no. 4)

MR.ZHANG YONG
BANK OF ASIA (CHINA)
Bank of China Tower,
1 Garden Road, Hong Kong, China

Dear Wolfington X. Analemma,

Thank you very much for your response, Like I said before, due to this issue on my hands now, it became necessary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project, and also to help me in investing my money in your country. You should not have anything to worry about. I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking.
Having resolved to entrust this project into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligence. If you work seriously, the entire matter should be over in a couple of few days. There is no cause for you to be on Red-alert but to act in accordance with my instructions.

READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:

Firstly, I would like to know the type of occupation that you do and how old you are (age). You should note that this project is a Capital intensive. This is why I have to be very careful. I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before, but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that is needed to execute this project. I am now in contact with a foreign online bank. The money would be transferred out of my bank with your details as the next of kin, to the foreign online bank, as this would conceal the Transactions from my Bank and other Government authorities. I am undertaking the necessary measures to enable us complete our Transaction without it be traced back to us. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them Caution. You have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me and that is void you would fill.

I will obtain a certificate of deposit from my bank; it will be issued in your name. This will make you the bonfire owner of the funds. After this, the money will be banked online for both of us.
We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the project the legal right.

I will need you to send me a copy of any form of your identification (Driver’s license or International passport)the way I just sent you my own also, Please I also want you to send your picture with your family picture so that we both can be fully trusted in the Blood Just for me to trust you because I don’t want us to talk on phone to avoid trace..

I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you, I will commence the paper work.
I hope you will understand why I need all these. The money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project.
I have attached copies of my identification so that you can as well know who you are dealing with. I have also attached my family picture so that you can know them better.

I am a married man with a lovely wife and 3 children and I am more than glad to execute this beneficial transaction with you.

I have instructed my attorney to carry on with the paper work and I was notified that the certificate of deposit which will make you the original beneficiary of the funds, when it is prepared. As soon as I receive the certificate of deposit from my attorney, I will send it to you to sign and return.
Please get back to with your requested Identification copy.
So at this junction, I will keep you updated as soon as I hear from my attorney.

Ensure that you keep this project confidential; do not discuss it with anybody, because of the confidential nature of this project and my work.
Please reply soonest.

Kind Regards
Zhang Yong

Here are the photos and documents that Mr. Scammer attached:

me & my Family on dinning table

my family

Myself myfamily and pa and ma

Working ID


Dear Mr. Zhang Yong,
 
Thank you for your information. I have attached a family picture and my California Driver’s license for your perusal.
My real name is Christian D. Sanders – I use Wolfington X. Analemma on the internet to avoid fraud, but I feel confident now in giving you my actual name.
I am 55 years old, and I work as an investment banker in the San Francisco office of Goldman Sachs
I look forward to your communication.
 
-CDS
Sanders Driver License
Sanders Family
Hey, if he can use stock photos, so can I. I photoshopped in a face that I have typically used for these scammers.

MR.ZHANG YONG <mr.zhangy@yahoo.com.hk> (email address no. 5)

Dear Partner.

Thank you very much my dear partner. I want to quickly appreciate the copy of your picture identity to me and inform you that I’m very serious about what I intend doing in your country. You have really gotten my confidentiality in you. I can now deal with you without entertaining any fear of whether you will run away with the deposited funds when it finally enters your account.

I am very happy that you are willing to assist me in securing the deposited funds that is presently in our vault here in my bank. I honestly want to trust you as I will do everything possible for us to have a better life to live with this money we are about to share.

I have every information’s that will make you the true inheritance of these funds but you will do me one thing, to have everything done in secret without telling or informing any person until the  money gets to us.

I will want us to invest the money in a venture that will profit both of us. I may also relocate to your country to avoid suspicion from my bank’s officials here in China. I will provide you detailed information of the modalities involved in completing this transaction within (5) working days. Be aware that this transaction is very safe and 100% risk free and as such I expect you to put in all your efforts in this transaction so that we can transfer the 9.3 million out of my bank to you without any problem. For your information, I will like to make you understand the nature of this transaction will not encourage the state of unserious partner if you can afford the expenses involve during the time of collection or transfer (I mean its will cost you little at the point of collection from your end), kindly let me know if you are ready to proceed with me in this transaction, I am very sure the expenses will not be much. The attorney’s charges and the paper work will be taken care off by me.

You are to please assure me that the funds will be safe with you when it is transferred to you because I am planning to resign as soon as we complete this transaction, if you decide to run away with the funds there is nothing I can do than to leave all my life here in China after retirement this is because you have assured me to assist me that is why I am resigning. And also you are going to let me know the way of life of your people, their culture, tradition and more so that I can start imagining myself leaving already with you. However, I want to quickly find out from you if your account is big enough to take the 9.3 million that is coming to you, and how costly is a house in your country, as this will give me a guard line in making up my plans of coming to join you up. You will need to help me get a place where I and my family will be putting up as soon as the funds get to you.

I really want to go into partnership with you but you will have to advise me and pre-informed me on a venture that is very profitable as soon as you can so that I will be ready here and be equipping with the type of business I am coming to do in your country. You do not seems to know what both of us are about to going to gain, I have planned everything out for you to secure the funds and we will have this funds in your possession without any problem but you will still have to spend a little at the point of collection that is exactly how it see now.

I have called my attorney to prepare the documents that we make you the real depositor of the said funds in my branch, as soon as he gets that done I will let you have a look at it and you will
have to sign the deposit receipt and send it back to me, then I will deposit it to my bank for then to release the funds to you, Please do not swing me over after you have receive these funds.
Meanwhile, I will furnish you with the processes as time goes on.

Should you have any question, kindly let me know.

Kind Regards
Zhang Yong


It will be good to proceed as you have suggested. My bank is prepared to receive the funds.

-CDS


MR.ZHANG YONG <mr.zhangy@yahoo.com.hk>

Thank you very much for the kind hearted email and that you are willing to help me carry out this project of mine and i promised you that you will never regret the you replied my email and accepted my proposal.

I am in receipt of your mail and the words in the contents made me happy that I finally got the right person for my proposal. As you have stated in your email that all monetary assets pertaining to this venture are confidently secure and that you are going to search for a business that will profit both of us. I will so much appreciate if you could start searching for a very nice four bed house with a very big garden located in a quiet environment conducive for learning.
In my last email to you, I make you understand the nature of this transaction will not encourage the state of un-serious partner if you can afford the expenses involve during the time of collection or transfer (I mean its will cost you little at the point of collection from your pocket), kindly let me know if you are ready to proceed with me in this transaction, I am very sure the expenses will not be much.

The attorney’s charges and the paper work will be taken care off by me.
Please note: The officials from our correspondent bank in Asia,India where our funds will be transfer to with your name as the new beneficiary to the inherited funds we ask you to open an offshore account (that is a dollar account) with them because our funds is in U.S dollars so you must be advised to create an offshore account of that kind so that our funds can have a foundation for

transfer to you and this is what i meant by (I mean its will cost you little at the point of collection from your pocket) in my last email and this is all i request from you now that both of us are about going to execute this project I would advise that you must have to keep it yourself alone, the wise man in this kind of proposal must be very discreet. I want us to enjoy the funds in peace, it is very good that it is only me here in my bank that knows about this transaction and as such we will not have any problem as far as you follow my instructions.
I will be here to advise you when we get to that stage may while my attorney is still working on the document needed to effect the transfer and make the deal legal.

Your 100% assistance will definitely make my plans work out. Please let us put our heads together as a team and rejoice at the end. The attorney charged me $172,000 to carry out the transaction but
i have already paid $122,000. I am looking for a way to borrow the balance money to make up the attorney charges for the documentation that will make you the real owner of the funds, as i do not want to bother you with that at all.
I will send you the documents from my attorney shortly as soon as i get it from him.

Cheers,
Kind Regards
Zhang Yong


I am waiting for your documents.

-CDS

MR.ZHANG YONG <mr.zhangy@yahoo.com.hk>
My dear friend and partner,
I have received the Certificate Of Deposit and affidavit of ownership of funds that will make you the original beneficiary of the funds from my attorney right now and I have attached both to this mail. I will appreciate you to sign at the bottom were you have beneficiary signature for both. Please i will appreciate you to do that ASAP and send back the Certificate to me the way I have sent it to you.
Please I’m counting on you, do not swing me over after the successful transfer of this funds to your account because if you do, all my dream in life will be chattered as you know i will be resigning  from my bank work as soon as the funds is be transfer out.
On receipt of the signed certificate of Deposit from you, i will transfer the funds {9.3 million dollars} out of my bank with your details as the beneficiary of the funds to the corresponding security financial bank in India. As soon as the funds get to the financial India, The bank will be in touch with you, either via phone or email, to let you know that they have your funds and also ask you how you wish to receive your funds from them and do please note that the 5th June 2001 was the day the said funds was deposited in my bank branch here in China.
Be rest assured that everything has been legally taken care of with the help of my attorney. Do get back asap with the documents to me.
Thank you.
Zhang Yong
AFFIDAVIT OF THE OWNERSHIP OF FUND
Certiicate2
So he attached these lovely official documents for me to complete and sign.

Dear Mr. Zhang Yong,

Please find attached the documents you requested, which I have signed. Per your previous request, I also recommend this delightful property for your consideration:
 
 
Inline image 1
I await your further details.
(I fill out the documents with bogus information and send them back to him.)

MR.ZHANG YONG <mr.zhangy@yahoo.com.hk>

Dear Partner,

Congratulations my partner.
As regards our transaction, I have successfully transferred the funds {9.3 million dollars} out of my bank with your details as the beneficiary of the funds to the corresponding bank(Hsbc Bank India). The Hsbc India, they will be in touch with you soon either via phone or email, to let you know that they have your funds and also ask you how you wish to receive your funds. And also below is their contact email:

Contact person:
Hsbc Bank India
Name:Kumar Das
Email: customercare@hsbconline.co.in
info@hsbconline.co.in
Tell: +919711175796
+918527648609

I will suggest you quickly write an email to them saying my name is …, I was told the money i had Inherited was transferred to your bank with (REF NO: Hs70/49/2076). I’m emailing you to find out if my inheritance was transfer to your bank or not and also you will know how to contact me when you need to transfer the money to my bank account.
I will be waiting to hear from you that Hsbc India, INDIA have received the funds on your behalf and the home you send the picture to me is very nice and please transfer the funds to your account on time so i can buy it and move in.

Do have a nice day.
Thank you.
Zhang Yong


Greetings.

I was told the money I had inherited was transferred to your bank with (REF NO: Hs70/49/2076). I’m emailing you to find out if my inheritance was transferred to your bank or not and also so that you will know how to contact me when you need to transfer the money to my bank account.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

-Christian D. Sanders


Welcome To Hsbc Bank India <customercare@hsbconline.co.in>\

No-34 Central Market, Sector-2 ;
West Avenue Road, West Punjabi Bagh,
New Delhi 110026,India

Website: http://www.hsbconline.co.in/1/2/homepage/

Tell: +919711175796
         +918527648609
Dear Customer: Christian D. Sanders,
MANDATE FROM BANK OF (CHINA) TO EFFECT TRANSFER OF NINE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITH REF NO: Hs70/49/2087.
 
We have indeed received signal from our affiliate in China, instructing us to release Entitlements to the tune of Nine Million, Three Hundred Thousand United State Dollars to you as the ultimate beneficiary.
You are very welcome to the HSBC BANK INDIA, we are happy to have you as our customer. We actually have different types of accounts with various facilities attached and as an offshore customer, you are requested to choose from the list of accounts we have and each have its minimum opening deposit which you have to send to us before an account can be properly set-up for you. You would find the Account Opening Form attached to this mail, fill and return to us either through email attachment. As soon as we receive these information with the Opening Initial Deposit from you as well as the choice of Account you wish to open with us. We shall go ahead to set-up account for you. Your urgency in opening of this account will depend on when we received these requirements from you. Find attached, Account Opening form, Download, print and fill it out then resend it back to us.
(Note the weasel words to ensure that I know I have to send money. They have the balls to talk about “Banking Ethics”.)
It would interest you to know that Your Funds with us does not have a “Proper Account or Foundation” and Deduction from your Funds to Open the account in your favor would serve as a Violation of the Banking Ethics enacted by the Bank of Asia (BOA) which serves as the Regulatory Body of all Financial Institutions here in Asia. In order to avoid Strict Sanctions, We sincerely advise that you pay the Account Opening Fee which would also be CREDITED to your Account once you have Access. As for the Account that could be good for you, we advice you take the Offshore Account which most Non INDIA residence have with us. This Account allows you make payment online and transfer funds online without being subjected to questioning. We advice you act fast as we do not have Authority to keep this funds more than expected.
Furthermore, it should be noted that using your funds to open an account with us does not mean that the money goes to your local account. This is like an initial deposit made into a new account with us to make it active after which we will pay in your borned deposited funds of 9.3 million dollars into the account you are about to have with us and then, you can Initiate a Transfer to your local account in your Country.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us by Engaging your Phone across to us or sending us your questions via our email. We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Note: Do scan a copy of your international passport or driver’s license along side when returning the form.
Best Regards,
International Transfer Department Hsbc India
Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved
Hsbc Bank INDIA(HBI) International Remittance System.
——————————————————————————-
Confidentiality Note:
The information contained in this message is confidential and/or privileged. This message is intended to be read only by the person named above. The unauthorized use, disclosure, copying or alteration of this message is strictly prohibited. If you are not the addressee, (or responsible for delivery of the message to the addressee), please notify the originator by return message and destroy the original message immediately.


To whom it may concern:

Please find attached your Account Opening Form as requested.

Sincerely yours,

-Christian D. Sanders

HSBC ACCOUNT OPENING FORM.


(Here’s where they get down to the nitty-gritty. “Send us the money via Western Union.”)

Welcome To Hsbc Bank India <customercare@hsbconline.co.in>

No-34 Central Market, Sector-2 ;
West Avenue Road, West Punjabi Bagh,
New Delhi 110026,India

Website: http://www.hsbconline.co.in/1/2/homepage/

+918527648609

Dear Respected Customer:Christian D. Sanders,
MANDATE FROM BANK OF EAST ASIA (CHINA) TO EFFECT TRANSFER OF NINE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITH REF NO: Hs70/49/2087.

You are welcome to Hsbc Bank Of India. We are pleased to be at your service. We are Regulated and Stipulated by the Financial Service Authority (FSA), the financial institutions that govern all financial activities in the Asia,India.This bank is in receipt of your offshore account set-up. It might interest you to know that we have already updated our record. Your account will be activated 4hours on confirmation of your payment.
Furthermore, it should be noted that using your funds to open an offshore account with us does not mean that the money do not go to your local account. This is like an initial deposit made into a new account with us to make it active after which we will pay in your borned deposited funds of 9.3 million dollars into the account you are about to have with us and then, you can Initiate a Transfer to your local account in your Country with our online transfer details which will be sent to you once your account is activated

For prompt disbursement of your inheritance funds, payment for Offshore Account can be effected via Western Union Money Transfer for speed and convenience sake you are to locate the nearest Western Union Money Transfer close to you and make the required payment to the name of our receiving accounts officers.

NOTE: Payment should be addressed to this bank with instructions given below to account receiving officer :

RECEIVER’S NAME: Maduneme Christian Anthony
RECEIVER’S ADDRESS: No-34 Central Market ,West Avenue Road, New Delhi 110026.India
RECEIVING AMOUNT:930.12 US DOLLARS

After you have made the payment, You are required to send to us a scanned copy of your Western Union customer payment slip/receipt to enable our account officer confirm your payment. Also You Can Send The Following Information via Email as they appear on the Payment Slip:

Senders First Name.
Senders Last Name.
Sender Address.
MTCN(Money Transfer Control Numbers).

We look forward to serving you better.

Best Regards,
Mr. Kumar Das
Chief Operation Officer Hsbc Bank India
Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved.

Hsbc Bank INDIA(HBI) International Remittance System.
——————————————————————————-

Confidentiality Note:
The information contained in this message is confidential and/or privileged. This message is intended to be read only by the person named above. The unauthorized use, disclosure, copying or alteration of this message is strictly prohibited. If you are not the addressee, (or responsible for delivery of the message to the addressee), please notify the originator by return message and destroy the original message immediately.

(I thought I’d prolong the agony a bit more, and see if I could waste a bit more of their time.)
Dear Mr. Das,
You have 9.3 million dollars of mine sitting around in your bank, earning interest for you rather than for me. Please apply some of that interest toward the creation of my account. Even at an effective rate of 1% per annum, that’s over $1,000 in the four days since you have notified me that the funds are available. This should be quite sufficient for the establishment of the offshore account. Please let me know when this has been accomplished. Thank you.”

Sincerely yours,
Christian D. Sanders

(Unfortunately, I heard nothing back from either one of them for a day or so.)


Dear Mr. Zhang Yong,

I have received two communications from HSBC in India. They are requesting an inital deposit of over $900.00 to set up an account there. I responded thusly:
“You have 9.3 million dollars of mine sitting around in your bank, earning interest for you rather than for me. Please apply some of that interest toward the creation of my account. Even at an effective rate of 1% per annum, that’s over $1,000 in the four days since you have notified me that the funds are available. This should be quite sufficient for the establishment of the offshore account. Please let me know when this has been accomplished. Thank you.”
I have since not heard back from them. Can you please contact them and let them know that they should move forward with this transaction?
Sincerely,
-CDS

MR.ZHANG YONG <mr.zhangy@yahoo.com.hk>
Well i contacted the bank and only to know that you gave a police phone no and you are not ready for this transaction so i ask them to stop the transfer as i will look for someone to help me out.
(Evidently he actually tried the phone number I gave him, and was connected with the San Francisco Police Department. Oh noes!)

(Well, game over.)

Dear Mr. Zhang Yong,

I’m impressed. Most scammers don’t actually try calling the phone numbers. But I have had a lot of fun wasting your time – I’m only sorry I couldn’t get you scurrying to Western Union a few times with bogus MTCN numbers. You should be ashamed of yourself, and try doing honest work for a living instead of stealing from others, 小兔崽子. You and all your kind are 大象爆炸式的拉肚子. 你给我滚.
PS – don’t forget every scrap of information I provided you was just as bogus as your ignorant scam.
Up yours.

My followup message to the “bank”, just in case this was a separate accomplice

I had a lovely conversation with Mr. Zhong Yang today, in which I told him that he was a pile of steaming elephant dung, and a scamming criminal.

The same goes for you, whoever you are – but in all likelihood you’re the same person, so take your repulsive scam and [censored censored censored.]
 
I enjoyed wasting your time.
 
with great disrespect,
 
Christian D. Sanders (also a false name, just in case you were wondering.)

How productive is this? Well, not very – but every second these drones spend messing with me is time they can’t use trying to scam other victims, who might actually be foolish/greedy enough to send them money.

For the love of whatever you consider holy, do not deal with drones like this, and make sure your vulnerable loved ones don’t either.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Tweaking a Scammer

This appeared in my mailbox the other day, and made me laugh:

Attn: Benjo X. Daiben
An (ATM Card Number;4278763100030014) has been accredited to you,The ATM
Card Value is 2.5 Million United State Dollars. Reply For More Details
Mr.Alex Udo

What’s funny is that this is a name I used to respond to another scammer months and months ago. Benjo (便所) “convenience place” is the Japanese word for “toilet”,  and “daiben” (大便) or “large convenience” is their term for “excrement.” It was amusing enough to get this that I thought I’d have a bit of fun with this guy. So I responded,

Wow, exciting! Let me know how to get this!
-bxd

Aaaand, he’s hooked!

Attn: BenjoYour email was found in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from Europe, Africa Asia Plus Middle east, Americans among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the UNITED TRUST Your email appeared among the beneficiaries, who will receive a part-payment of your contractual sum of The ATM we cannot go into transfer the is why we want to move it through ATM Card
Card Value is 2.5 Million United State Dollars and it have been approved already for month’s we have startedFor more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund. Kindly furnish us with below information:

1. Your Full Name:
2. Address:
3. Country:
4. Age:
5. Occupation:
6. Cell phone Number:
7. Next Of Kin:
8. Home Equity (Yes/No):

Mr.Alex Udo

Well, he wants my information so I had better send him some.

Dear Mr. Udo,Here is the information you requested. Please send me my ATM card at once, I can really use this because my medical bills from when I lost my legs are overwhelming me. Two bears, a big one and a little one, attacked me to get at a picnic basket I had with me in Jellystone National Park. It was terrible. I am in great pain, and this money will help me a lot.

Sincerely,

Benjo X. Daiben

1. Your Full Name: Benjo Xavier Daiben
2. Address: 750 Bryant St. #513 SanFrancisco, CA 94103
3. Country: USA
4. Age: 67
5. Occupation: Retired Forest Ranger
6. Cell phone Number: 415-744-3090
7. Next Of Kin: Sgamwyr Y Lysnafedd (my best Welsh for “Scammers are Scum”)
8. Home Equity (Yes/No): Yes

Next I get this back from him:

I receive your information I want to let you know that the pin code will be ready by tomorrow and we have to insure this ATM CARD because the card contains huge amount of money can you come down here by yourself and pick the card because there is two documents you need to sign here before releasing this card to you because we don’t want to make any mistake please do and get back to us because first thing tomorrow morning I will start the process do and get back to me
Mr.Alex Udo

Come down here? He hasn’t even told me where he is.

Dear Mr. Udo,Come down where? Where are you? I indicated that I lost both my legs, I am in a wheelchair and it is very hard to travel. Is there any other way to get these documents?

Sincerely,
Benjo X. Daiben

Notice that he doesn’t give a rat’s south-40 that he’s dealing with an allegedly handicapped individual who is hard pressed for money. These drones would sell their grandmothers if they could get a buck out of the deal.

Attn: BenjoI have contacted a lawyer here who will help you sign all the important documents for releasing of your ATM CARD and insurance which contains huge amount of money the lawyer changer you $1750.00 for all his work but he said that you are going to pay him half so that he will start his work first thing tomorrow morning after you received your package you will pay the balance $875.00 what you are going to send now is $875.00 after his work you will pay he the balance of $875.00

Let me know as soon as you send the changers now to able him to start his work first things tomorrow morning

Receivers Name:Steve Onyejekwu
City: Cotonou
Country Benin Republic
Test Question Yes………………..
Answer:Me………………………….
Control Number (MTCN) ……………………….
Address of the sender…………………………..
Amount you send $875.00
Senders Name ………………………………..

Mr.Alex Udo

Notice that his grammar has gone to Hell. I’m supposed to send “changers”? I assume he means “charges.”
He also claims to be in Benin.
Well, better send him some “money.”

Dear Alex,Money has been sent. Here’s the data (Please note I changed the test question and answer to make sure that only your lawyer can collect the money)

Receivers Name:Steve Onyejekwu
City: Cotonou
Country Benin Republic
Test Question: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Answer: Póg mo thóin (That’s Irish Gaelic for “kiss my ass”)
Control Number (MTCN) 1741939872
Address of the sender: 750 Bryant St. #513 San Francisco, CA 94103
Amount you send $875.00
Senders Name: Benjo X. Daiben

Please have your lawyers draw up the papers immediately.

Sincerely,
-BXD

Good, he’s got my information. Uh oh, could there be a problem?

Attn:BenjoI receive the information you sent but the MTCN is not correct please check the MTCN very well or you attach the western Union copy please do it now and get back to me because lawyer is waiting to able him conclude his work so that everything will move fine

Mr.Alex

He’s gone to Western Union once. (WU = +1).
The MTCN (Money Transfer Control Number) is not correct? What a huge surprise.

Dear Alex,This is terrible. I’m sorry for the inconvenience – San Francisco was plagued with terrible power outages and storms yesterday, and the Western Union office had big computer problems. I had to visit the office again today, and they were very sorry for the difficulties. They had to give me a new MTCN, which is 1741 9399 85.

The other data for the transaction remains the same.

Sincerely,
Benjo X. Daiben

I receive this next.

Attn: BenjoI receive the MTCN i will get back to you as soon as the lawyer conclude

Alex

Off he trots to Western Union again, happy as a camel in a desert.

Attn: BenjoI want to let you know the MTCN is not correct please attach the western union copy and send it to me because the MTCN you just change is match please correct this problem and send to me correct MTCN now because the lawyer is waiting to able him start his work do and get back to me with correct MTCN
Mr.Alex

Whoops. Looks like there has been another error. Gosh.
He’s gone to Western Union twice. (WU = +2).

Oh, that’s right. I forgot to send him a scan of the transfer document. But let’s keep him busy a little while longer:

Dear Alex,I’m sure the MTCN is correct. My scanner is broken, I must go to the local copy shop to have the Western Union form scanned. I will attach it as soon as I have done this. I’m quite concerned about this because I have paid the money to Western Union and I don’t want it to be lost.

Sincerely,
Benjo X. Daiben

And, he’s getting anxious.

Attn: BenjoI receive your mail please try and make sure you attach the western union copy today because I want first thing tomorrow morning everything will be conclude so that lawyer will start his work .so far you send the money through western union with information I give to you the money is save just get the copy of the western union for me so tomorrow everything will be conclude.

Try all you can to make sure you correct everything today because the lawyer suppose to start his work today because of the delay we have today for the wrong MTCN that is why he did not start the work today please try all you can to make sure everything is correct today first thing tomorrow morning everything will be done

Thanks I am waiting

Mr.Alex Udo

So I sent him a scan of my documentation. Of course, it’s full of nonsense information.

Dear Alex,I have had the Western Union form scanned, and am attaching it now. Please read the MTCN carefully because this is what was given me by the agency office, and they still have my money. I don’t want anything to go wrong with this transaction, because I really need these funds.

Thank you.

Benjo X Daiben

Now let’s see if he can collect his “funds.”

Attn: BenjoHow are you doing I received the form you sent to me but we are still having problem with the MTCN NUMBER please brother to make everything easy please go back to the office and pick the money back and go to another Western Union office or Money Gram to send this $875.00 because Lawyer supposed to start his work today it is all this delaying is delaying Lawyer please do it fast as soon as you wake up and make sure you send the INFORMATION CORRECT because we need to get everything done today and lawyer promise to me that he will make sure that all the important documents is ready first thing tomorrow as soon as he receive the $875.00 today please try all you can to go and pick the $875.00 today and go to another place and send it please do fast because I want get everything done and have rest of mind

Use this information below to resend the $850.00 as soon as you wake up now

Receivers Name: Nkechikwulu C. Raphael
City: Cotonou
Country Benin Republic
Test Question Good ………………..
Answer:yes ………………………….
Control Number (MTCN) ……………………….
Address of the sender…………………………..
Amount you send $875.00
Senders Name ………………………………..

Mr.Alex Udo

He’s gone to Western Union three times. (WU = +3).

Interesting. Now he’s changed the receiver’s name. Does he want $875.00 or $850.00? In addition, he’s been sending each email twice or three times, with different subject lines, like “use this name now Nkechikwulu C. Raphael” or “VERY URGENT” or “PLEASE GO BACK THERE AND PICK THE MONEY.”

So, we effectuate another “transfer”.

Dear Mr. Udo,I am getting very worried. It was very hard to get my money back from Western Union, they claimed it had been picked up already. I had to show them your emails as proof that you had not collected it. I have now sent you $875.00 twice, and I have spent additional $50.00 on the transfer fees. I have attached a scan of the Western Union form, please note I have written down the number correctly:

1179 364 327

I hope your lawyer can now do what is necessary to get me this ATM card which I so desperately need.-Benjo X. Daiben

Notice I’ve given him a new MTCN, but I’ve also left off the city and country. Heh heh heh.

Attn: BenjoI received the MTCN but it is late here now first things tomorrow morning I will call the lawyer so that he will start his work please take noted nobody pick the $875.00 here western Union supposed to give you the money back but all is well by tomorrow everything will be done as soon as we conclude everything by tomorrow

Mr.Alex Udo

By now he’s thinking he’s really going to get $875.00 from me. Tomorrow morning he will be disappointed once again.

Attn: BrotherMy brother there is something I want you to do now please I want you to change password of this your email ID now (ccdesan@comcast.net) because I this cover that there is some people who is monitoring your id please change the password now because I am going to send your pin code as soon as lawyer conclude by tomorrow and I don’t want anybody to know your pin code please change your password now please please and make sure you send to your telephone number so that I will call you as soon as the pin code is ready please make sure you change your PASSWORD NOW NOW PLEASE  and

Delete the information you just sent to me now from your inbox and sent mail for the safety of the information you just send to me now please do it fast

Alex

He’s happy, he thinks he’s going to get rich from some dumb, greedy American. Now he’s calling me “Brother”. This bit about changing my password is peculiar, apparently it’s just a red herring. But he sent it three times, with these subject lines: “CHNAGE YOUR PASSWORD NOW, ” “VERY URGENT,” and “CHANGEYOUR PASSWORD FAST.” Very considerate of him, but we need to waste a bit more of his time.

Dear Alex,I’m not sure why you need me to change the password on my email account. It’s virtually uncrackable – it would take a hacker 193 trillion years to break into it (and that’s a real number, not just made up.)
My email account here is certainly of no concern to anyone else.Looking forward to receiving the card and my PIN number as soon as possible!

-Benjo X. Daiben

Ah, he’s just looking out for my interests. I’m touched.

Attn; BenjoThank you very well for your update the reason why i said that because i Don’t want anybody to know your pin code because it suppose to be secret  i will update you as soon as lawyer conclude his work by tomorrow

Alex

My goodness. We just seem to be having all sorts of problems with this transaction, don’t we?

Attn: Benjo
How are you doing today? my brother I am going into difficult because of your ATM CARD because I bring myself out to help you but you are put things in a difficult please you the $875.00 sent there is a mistake in the country I told you that city is Cotonou country is Benin Republic and you did not write it western union refuse to pay the $875.00 to us because you did not put country where the money is going other information is correct just go and put city and country
City: Cotonou
Country Benin Republic
Please do fast because lawyer is waiting if not because of all this delaying now the processing of your ATM CARD supposed to be done since yesterday please do and get back to me please call me in this number as soon as you correct the error +23480 680 36172
Please do and get back to me because I want everything to be done today
Mr.Alex Udo

He’s gone to Western Union four times. (WU = +4).
Ah. Notice the country code 234. That’s Nigeria. As if I had any doubts… He’s noticed that I left off the city and country. Also wants me to call him. Sent this message 3 times.

Dear Alex,

I am very sorry for the error, I was just so excited to get this ATM card that I missed putting the country and city on the form. The Western Union agent was very nice at this office and allowed me to make the correction without any other fee, and the MCTN number is now 1179 364 329

Please, please, I hope this is the last correction because I need this money very badly, my wheelchair just fell apart and I have to drag myself around with wooden crutches which are very uncomfortable.

Sincerely,

Benjo X. Daiben

PS: My telephone number is (415) 315-2400 please call me when everything is done so I know that this money is coming.

I’ve given him the phone number of the San Francisco Police Department, just in case he really decides to call, but that’s very unlikely.

Attn: Benjo

Is like you turn this like child play please I am very busy man just to send $875.00 since two days now you are sending wrong information call the western now let them give to you correct MTCN because I am in the western section now them said that the MTCN you sent is wrong please correct it now and get back to me I am waiting now I am still in there now waiting for you to correct it now

Mr.Alex

He’s gone to Western Union five times. (WU = +5). He’s starting to get pissed. Well, let’s ramp things up again and see if I can get him to send me a little money instead.

Alex,

I am starting to wonder if there is something funny about this transaction. I have been to Western Union four times now – the MTCN is what the agent wrote down on the form – that’s why I sent you a scan, so there would be no mistake. Maybe there is not a good Western Union connection between the United States and Benin Republic. I have $875.00 in the Western Union system, are you telling me the money has not come out at your end? Where is the money I gave to Western Union?

I am losing my trust in this transaction, but I really need this money you promised me so I will keep working at it.

The only way I can be sure that the connection between Benin and the USA is working properly is for you to send me a small amount of money – let’s say $5.00, or even just a single dollar – to make sure that things are working properly.

Receivers Name: Benjo X. Daiben
City: San Francisco
Country USA
Test Question: Did it work?
Answer: Amadan (Irish Gaelic for “fool”)
Control Number:
Address of the sender:
Amount you send $5.00
Senders Name:

If this transfer succeeds then I will know there is no scammery going on, but honestly speaking I am afraid I am going to lose my money, which I have very little because of all the medicine I need to buy, and my wife and kids are sick too, so please help me get this money which is promised. I need that ATM card.

Sincerely,
Benjo X. Daiben

Nope, he’s not going to bite on that one, but he’s quite put out.

Attn: Benjo

What is meaning of this I told you that I am in western union now western union between Benin and USA is   you are the  one making all this mistake please if you real know that you want this lawyer to get everything done by tomorrow please send the correct MTCN to me because I am waiting for you now to able him to start work first thing tomorrow morning so by Saturday I will ship your ATM CARD to you  by Monday I will send your pin code to your secret you know nobody suppose to know your pin code it is your secret correct the MTCN now and get back to me before today runs down please

Mr.Alex

Well, I’ve got things to do so it’s time to pull the plug.

Dear Alex:

I have sent you to Western Union five times now. I hope you have enjoyed the trips. This gives me a Scammer Score of +5, which is pretty good. I’d keep going, but I haven’t any more time to waste on an ONIOBURU like yourself.

Everyone in the USA knows about you 419 scammers; your Nigeria 234 country code; and the massive cesspool of corruption that Nigeria has become. I have really, really, really enjoyed wasting your time. I’m only sorry that I can’t have you thrown into a rat-infested prison where you deserve to be.

Dem no born you reach, Mugu. U no fit comot face, just skip along. Olumba Olumba Obu send you his finest black powder, no return to sender, not for me.

Hasta la vista, Maye!

Benjo X. Daiben.

(PS: ask a Japanese friend what my name means, I designed it especially for Scammers like you.)

Various Nigerian insults complete the exchange. How strange, he hasn’t responded.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this wasn’t terribly nice, but it’s rare that one gets the chance to troll a criminal, one who would otherwise be using their time stealing real money from real people, regardless of how greedy or foolish his victims may be. I have a particular axe to grind with fraudsters, because my elderly mother was so badly victimized by this kind of human refuse. And more on that to come later.

Be careful out there. If you have elderly loved ones, or those who might not be as computer-smart as you are, please warn them about this kind of douchebaggery. It’s crazy out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

No, you didn’t win this. No, you can’t have it. No.

DEAR,

MY NAME IS GENERAL MARTINS TANJUL. I AM THE DEPOSED MAGNATE OF PETROCO IN LAGOS, NIGERIA, AND I NEED YOUR HELP IN MOVING THE AMOUNT OF $US 205 MILLION IN CASH OUT OF MY STORAGE VAULT TO YOUR COUNTRY…

So goes about every scam letter from the Lads from Lagos, often accompanied by pictures like the one above. For some strange reason, people continue falling for these mind-bendingly absurd emails; if they didn’t, the boys would give up their trade and find some other way to separate suckers from their money.

The photo above actually does represent about $205,000,000 and was seized as part of the biggest cash-drug bust in history, somewhere in Mexico City.

Yeah. So if you weren’t sure, it’s a scam. It’s always a scam. Any email from anyone you don’t know, where the subject is money, is a scam.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.