This appeared in my mailbox the other day, and made me laugh:
| Attn: Benjo X. Daiben An (ATM Card Number;4278763100030014) has been accredited to you,The ATM Card Value is 2.5 Million United State Dollars. Reply For More Details Mr.Alex Udo |
What’s funny is that this is a name I used to respond to another scammer months and months ago. Benjo (便所) “convenience place” is the Japanese word for “toilet”, and “daiben” (大便) or “large convenience” is their term for “excrement.” It was amusing enough to get this that I thought I’d have a bit of fun with this guy. So I responded,
| Wow, exciting! Let me know how to get this! -bxd |
Aaaand, he’s hooked!
| Attn: BenjoYour email was found in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from Europe, Africa Asia Plus Middle east, Americans among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the UNITED TRUST Your email appeared among the beneficiaries, who will receive a part-payment of your contractual sum of The ATM we cannot go into transfer the is why we want to move it through ATM Card Card Value is 2.5 Million United State Dollars and it have been approved already for month’s we have startedFor more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund. Kindly furnish us with below information: 1. Your Full Name: Mr.Alex Udo |
Well, he wants my information so I had better send him some.
| Dear Mr. Udo,Here is the information you requested. Please send me my ATM card at once, I can really use this because my medical bills from when I lost my legs are overwhelming me. Two bears, a big one and a little one, attacked me to get at a picnic basket I had with me in Jellystone National Park. It was terrible. I am in great pain, and this money will help me a lot.
Sincerely, Benjo X. Daiben
|
Next I get this back from him:
| I receive your information I want to let you know that the pin code will be ready by tomorrow and we have to insure this ATM CARD because the card contains huge amount of money can you come down here by yourself and pick the card because there is two documents you need to sign here before releasing this card to you because we don’t want to make any mistake please do and get back to us because first thing tomorrow morning I will start the process do and get back to me Mr.Alex Udo |
Come down here? He hasn’t even told me where he is.
| Dear Mr. Udo,Come down where? Where are you? I indicated that I lost both my legs, I am in a wheelchair and it is very hard to travel. Is there any other way to get these documents?
Sincerely, |
Notice that he doesn’t give a rat’s south-40 that he’s dealing with an allegedly handicapped individual who is hard pressed for money. These drones would sell their grandmothers if they could get a buck out of the deal.
| Attn: BenjoI have contacted a lawyer here who will help you sign all the important documents for releasing of your ATM CARD and insurance which contains huge amount of money the lawyer changer you $1750.00 for all his work but he said that you are going to pay him half so that he will start his work first thing tomorrow morning after you received your package you will pay the balance $875.00 what you are going to send now is $875.00 after his work you will pay he the balance of $875.00
Let me know as soon as you send the changers now to able him to start his work first things tomorrow morning Receivers Name:Steve Onyejekwu Mr.Alex Udo |
Notice that his grammar has gone to Hell. I’m supposed to send “changers”? I assume he means “charges.”
He also claims to be in Benin.
Well, better send him some “money.”
| Dear Alex,Money has been sent. Here’s the data (Please note I changed the test question and answer to make sure that only your lawyer can collect the money)
Receivers Name:Steve Onyejekwu Please have your lawyers draw up the papers immediately. Sincerely, |
Good, he’s got my information. Uh oh, could there be a problem?
| Attn:BenjoI receive the information you sent but the MTCN is not correct please check the MTCN very well or you attach the western Union copy please do it now and get back to me because lawyer is waiting to able him conclude his work so that everything will move fine
Mr.Alex |
He’s gone to Western Union once. (WU = +1).
The MTCN (Money Transfer Control Number) is not correct? What a huge surprise.
| Dear Alex,This is terrible. I’m sorry for the inconvenience – San Francisco was plagued with terrible power outages and storms yesterday, and the Western Union office had big computer problems. I had to visit the office again today, and they were very sorry for the difficulties. They had to give me a new MTCN, which is 1741 9399 85.
The other data for the transaction remains the same. Sincerely, |
I receive this next.
| Attn: BenjoI receive the MTCN i will get back to you as soon as the lawyer conclude
Alex |
Off he trots to Western Union again, happy as a camel in a desert.
| Attn: BenjoI want to let you know the MTCN is not correct please attach the western union copy and send it to me because the MTCN you just change is match please correct this problem and send to me correct MTCN now because the lawyer is waiting to able him start his work do and get back to me with correct MTCN Mr.Alex |
Whoops. Looks like there has been another error. Gosh.
He’s gone to Western Union twice. (WU = +2).
Oh, that’s right. I forgot to send him a scan of the transfer document. But let’s keep him busy a little while longer:
| Dear Alex,I’m sure the MTCN is correct. My scanner is broken, I must go to the local copy shop to have the Western Union form scanned. I will attach it as soon as I have done this. I’m quite concerned about this because I have paid the money to Western Union and I don’t want it to be lost.
Sincerely, |
And, he’s getting anxious.
| Attn: BenjoI receive your mail please try and make sure you attach the western union copy today because I want first thing tomorrow morning everything will be conclude so that lawyer will start his work .so far you send the money through western union with information I give to you the money is save just get the copy of the western union for me so tomorrow everything will be conclude.
Try all you can to make sure you correct everything today because the lawyer suppose to start his work today because of the delay we have today for the wrong MTCN that is why he did not start the work today please try all you can to make sure everything is correct today first thing tomorrow morning everything will be done Thanks I am waiting Mr.Alex Udo |
So I sent him a scan of my documentation. Of course, it’s full of nonsense information.
| Dear Alex,I have had the Western Union form scanned, and am attaching it now. Please read the MTCN carefully because this is what was given me by the agency office, and they still have my money. I don’t want anything to go wrong with this transaction, because I really need these funds.
Thank you. Benjo X Daiben
|
Now let’s see if he can collect his “funds.”
| Attn: BenjoHow are you doing I received the form you sent to me but we are still having problem with the MTCN NUMBER please brother to make everything easy please go back to the office and pick the money back and go to another Western Union office or Money Gram to send this $875.00 because Lawyer supposed to start his work today it is all this delaying is delaying Lawyer please do it fast as soon as you wake up and make sure you send the INFORMATION CORRECT because we need to get everything done today and lawyer promise to me that he will make sure that all the important documents is ready first thing tomorrow as soon as he receive the $875.00 today please try all you can to go and pick the $875.00 today and go to another place and send it please do fast because I want get everything done and have rest of mind
Use this information below to resend the $850.00 as soon as you wake up now Receivers Name: Nkechikwulu C. Raphael Mr.Alex Udo |
He’s gone to Western Union three times. (WU = +3).
Interesting. Now he’s changed the receiver’s name. Does he want $875.00 or $850.00? In addition, he’s been sending each email twice or three times, with different subject lines, like “use this name now Nkechikwulu C. Raphael” or “VERY URGENT” or “PLEASE GO BACK THERE AND PICK THE MONEY.”
So, we effectuate another “transfer”.
| Dear Mr. Udo,I am getting very worried. It was very hard to get my money back from Western Union, they claimed it had been picked up already. I had to show them your emails as proof that you had not collected it. I have now sent you $875.00 twice, and I have spent additional $50.00 on the transfer fees. I have attached a scan of the Western Union form, please note I have written down the number correctly:
1179 364 327 I hope your lawyer can now do what is necessary to get me this ATM card which I so desperately need.-Benjo X. Daiben
|
Notice I’ve given him a new MTCN, but I’ve also left off the city and country. Heh heh heh.
| Attn: BenjoI received the MTCN but it is late here now first things tomorrow morning I will call the lawyer so that he will start his work please take noted nobody pick the $875.00 here western Union supposed to give you the money back but all is well by tomorrow everything will be done as soon as we conclude everything by tomorrow
Mr.Alex Udo |
By now he’s thinking he’s really going to get $875.00 from me. Tomorrow morning he will be disappointed once again.
| Attn: BrotherMy brother there is something I want you to do now please I want you to change password of this your email ID now (ccdesan@comcast.net) because I this cover that there is some people who is monitoring your id please change the password now because I am going to send your pin code as soon as lawyer conclude by tomorrow and I don’t want anybody to know your pin code please change your password now please please and make sure you send to your telephone number so that I will call you as soon as the pin code is ready please make sure you change your PASSWORD NOW NOW PLEASE and
Delete the information you just sent to me now from your inbox and sent mail for the safety of the information you just send to me now please do it fast Alex |
He’s happy, he thinks he’s going to get rich from some dumb, greedy American. Now he’s calling me “Brother”. This bit about changing my password is peculiar, apparently it’s just a red herring. But he sent it three times, with these subject lines: “CHNAGE YOUR PASSWORD NOW, ” “VERY URGENT,” and “CHANGEYOUR PASSWORD FAST.” Very considerate of him, but we need to waste a bit more of his time.
| Dear Alex,I’m not sure why you need me to change the password on my email account. It’s virtually uncrackable – it would take a hacker 193 trillion years to break into it (and that’s a real number, not just made up.) My email account here is certainly of no concern to anyone else.Looking forward to receiving the card and my PIN number as soon as possible! -Benjo X. Daiben |
Ah, he’s just looking out for my interests. I’m touched.
| Attn; BenjoThank you very well for your update the reason why i said that because i Don’t want anybody to know your pin code because it suppose to be secret i will update you as soon as lawyer conclude his work by tomorrow
Alex |
My goodness. We just seem to be having all sorts of problems with this transaction, don’t we?
|
Attn: Benjo
How are you doing today? my brother I am going into difficult because of your ATM CARD because I bring myself out to help you but you are put things in a difficult please you the $875.00 sent there is a mistake in the country I told you that city is Cotonou country is Benin Republic and you did not write it western union refuse to pay the $875.00 to us because you did not put country where the money is going other information is correct just go and put city and country
City: Cotonou
Country Benin Republic Please do fast because lawyer is waiting if not because of all this delaying now the processing of your ATM CARD supposed to be done since yesterday please do and get back to me please call me in this number as soon as you correct the error +23480 680 36172
Please do and get back to me because I want everything to be done today
Mr.Alex Udo
|
He’s gone to Western Union four times. (WU = +4).
Ah. Notice the country code 234. That’s Nigeria. As if I had any doubts… He’s noticed that I left off the city and country. Also wants me to call him. Sent this message 3 times.
| Dear Alex,
I am very sorry for the error, I was just so excited to get this ATM card that I missed putting the country and city on the form. The Western Union agent was very nice at this office and allowed me to make the correction without any other fee, and the MCTN number is now 1179 364 329
Please, please, I hope this is the last correction because I need this money very badly, my wheelchair just fell apart and I have to drag myself around with wooden crutches which are very uncomfortable. Sincerely, Benjo X. Daiben PS: My telephone number is (415) 315-2400 please call me when everything is done so I know that this money is coming. |
I’ve given him the phone number of the San Francisco Police Department, just in case he really decides to call, but that’s very unlikely.
| Attn: Benjo
Is like you turn this like child play please I am very busy man just to send $875.00 since two days now you are sending wrong information call the western now let them give to you correct MTCN because I am in the western section now them said that the MTCN you sent is wrong please correct it now and get back to me I am waiting now I am still in there now waiting for you to correct it now Mr.Alex |
He’s gone to Western Union five times. (WU = +5). He’s starting to get pissed. Well, let’s ramp things up again and see if I can get him to send me a little money instead.
| Alex,
I am starting to wonder if there is something funny about this transaction. I have been to Western Union four times now – the MTCN is what the agent wrote down on the form – that’s why I sent you a scan, so there would be no mistake. Maybe there is not a good Western Union connection between the United States and Benin Republic. I have $875.00 in the Western Union system, are you telling me the money has not come out at your end? Where is the money I gave to Western Union? I am losing my trust in this transaction, but I really need this money you promised me so I will keep working at it. The only way I can be sure that the connection between Benin and the USA is working properly is for you to send me a small amount of money – let’s say $5.00, or even just a single dollar – to make sure that things are working properly. Receivers Name: Benjo X. Daiben If this transfer succeeds then I will know there is no scammery going on, but honestly speaking I am afraid I am going to lose my money, which I have very little because of all the medicine I need to buy, and my wife and kids are sick too, so please help me get this money which is promised. I need that ATM card. Sincerely, |
Nope, he’s not going to bite on that one, but he’s quite put out.
| Attn: Benjo
What is meaning of this I told you that I am in western union now western union between Benin and USA is you are the one making all this mistake please if you real know that you want this lawyer to get everything done by tomorrow please send the correct MTCN to me because I am waiting for you now to able him to start work first thing tomorrow morning so by Saturday I will ship your ATM CARD to you by Monday I will send your pin code to your secret you know nobody suppose to know your pin code it is your secret correct the MTCN now and get back to me before today runs down please Mr.Alex |
Well, I’ve got things to do so it’s time to pull the plug.
|
Dear Alex:
I have sent you to Western Union five times now. I hope you have enjoyed the trips. This gives me a Scammer Score of +5, which is pretty good. I’d keep going, but I haven’t any more time to waste on an ONIOBURU like yourself.
Everyone in the USA knows about you 419 scammers; your Nigeria 234 country code; and the massive cesspool of corruption that Nigeria has become. I have really, really, really enjoyed wasting your time. I’m only sorry that I can’t have you thrown into a rat-infested prison where you deserve to be.
Dem no born you reach, Mugu. U no fit comot face, just skip along. Olumba Olumba Obu send you his finest black powder, no return to sender, not for me.
Hasta la vista, Maye! Benjo X. Daiben. (PS: ask a Japanese friend what my name means, I designed it especially for Scammers like you.)  |
Various Nigerian insults complete the exchange. How strange, he hasn’t responded.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this wasn’t terribly nice, but it’s rare that one gets the chance to troll a criminal, one who would otherwise be using their time stealing real money from real people, regardless of how greedy or foolish his victims may be. I have a particular axe to grind with fraudsters, because my elderly mother was so badly victimized by this kind of human refuse. And more on that to come later.
Be careful out there. If you have elderly loved ones, or those who might not be as computer-smart as you are, please warn them about this kind of douchebaggery. It’s crazy out there.
The Old Wolf has spoken.
Playing in the World Game 
Dude that was [beep] awesome it’s kind of sad too, because I’m Nigerian and I’m just wondering if he emailed you after you destroyed his life’s hopes of becoming a millionaire. Ha stupid Nigerian. Dis place naija don kolo
Thanks for your comment. I didn’t mean to imply that everyone from Nigeria is corrupt; I know a lot of Nigerians. They’re good people. The country deserves better than what’s going on there, and I wish them the best.
Yeah hopefully it can get out of these senseless civil wars and start becoming a better nation. It all starts with getting rid of the corruption in it’s government which won’t be easy
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