Improving the web, one word at a time.

XKCD is a wonderful strip. Sometimes Munroe’s posts are based in deep and often incomprehensible (to me) math, sometimes intriguing science, and sometimes the most violently twisted whimsy one could imagine.

The most recent installment gives some suggestions for making the web-browsing experience more interesting.

substitutions_3

The internet being what it is, and people’s creativity and free time factoring in, it was no surprise that a vehicle has already been created that allows such a list (or any other) to be implemented.

My news feed now looks like this:

news

This courtesy of Word Replacer II, a chrome extension that allows you to wipe out any word in your browser that you might find offensive, tiresome, or annoying, and replace it with any other. Tired of seeing Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian all over the news? Replace them with “Little Bunny Froo-froo” or “King Koopa.”

Trust me, it will make your daily perusal of the news much more uplifting.

The user interface is a bit hard to use, but the fastest way to get things in is to build a blob with this format and import it. Notice that the closing brace after each segment has a comma after it – all except for the last one.

{
“version”: “2.0.10”,
“replacements”: [
{
“repA”: “Hillary Clinton”,
“repB”: “Her Supreme Corruptness”,
“type”: “Simple”,
“case”: “Maintain”,
“active”: true
},
{
“repA”: “Donald Trump”,
“repB”: “the bombastic blowhard”,
“type”: “Simple”,
“case”: “Maintain”,
“active”: true
}
]
}

It took me a while of fiddling to get them in, but I was able to get about 30 replacements installed and now watching the news feeds actually gives me a smile.

Enjoy.

The Old Wolf has spoken

Ten Crypto-Emails in a Single Day

Please, please, be careful out there. The Crypto-scammers are ramping up their game.

cryptowall-infographic-enews

Below are eight of the ten spam emails I received only today. Each one was equipped with its own attachment, which would have doubtless encrypted my entire computer.

1)

To: “redacted”
From: Norman Baldwin <BaldwinNorman31872@jawhar9.com>

Subject: Second Reminder – Unpaid Invoice

We wrote to you recently reminding you of the outstanding amount of $7096.64 for Invoice number #18268E, but it appears to remain unpaid.

For details please check invoice attached to this mail

Regards,
Norman Baldwin
Deputy Director of Finance

2)

To: “redacted”
From: Olive Booth <BoothOlive804@beamtele.net>

Subject: Re:

Hello, info

Please find the document file attached to this mail. The attached file contains transfers and invoices history of your bank account

Regards,

Olive Booth

3)

To: “redacted”
From: Greg Maynard <MaynardGreg93@agenciaH.com>
Subject: Re:

Good evening info,
As promised, I have attached the spreadsheet contains last 50 transaction and your account actual balance.
Regards,
Greg Maynard

4)

To: “redacted”
From: Dolly Browning <BrowningDolly48549@feoliveira.com>

Subject: RE: Outstanding Account

This is a reminder that your account balance of $5315.75 was overdue as of 25 April 2016.

Enclosed is a statement of account for your reference.

Please arrange payment of this account today or, if you cannot make full payment at this time, please contact us to make a payment arrangement that is mutually acceptable.
Regards,

Dolly Browning
CEO, Cafedirect

Have a nice day

Yeah, I’d have a really nice day if I opened your attachment and all my files were encrypted. Shove it where the sun don’t shine, fool.
5)
To: “redacted”
From: Clarissa Ewing <EwingClarissa61@betonfiguratie.nl>

Subject: Re:

Hello, info

Please find the document file attached to this mail. The attached file contains transfers and invoices history of your bank account.

Regards,
Clarissa Ewing

6)

Subject: Ticket
From: Alma cawley <Veronica344@gmail.com>

To: redacted

Content-Type: application/zip; name=”TICKET-T1153854633273.zip”
Content-Disposition: attachment; filename=”TICKET-T1153854633273.zip”
X-Attachment-Id: 90725767494-local0

 

7)

To: “redacted”
From: Guadalupe Oneal <OnealGuadalupe459@sanctuaryandcare.com>

Subject: FINAL NOTICE – OUTSTANDING ACCOUNT

Dear Client, We are writing concerning the amount of $3339.41 which was due to be paid on 01.05.2016 and, despite numerous requests for payment, remains outstanding. Details attached to this email. We demand that payment of the full amount be paid to us on or before 10.05.2016. If this account is not resolved by the specified date we reserve the right to commence legal proceedings to recover the debt without further notice to you, and you may be responsible for any associated legal fees or collection costs. If you wish to prevent this, please contact the undersigned as a matter of urgency and settle your account before the above date. Regards, Guadalupe Oneal Head of Finance UKGI Planning

 8)
To: “redacted”
From: Tad Whitney <WhitneyTad085@tecktranslations.de>

Subject: FINAL NOTICE – OUTSTANDING ACCOUNT

Dear Client, We are writing concerning the amount of $6958.82 which was due to be paid on 01.05.2016 and, despite numerous requests for payment, remains outstanding. Details attached to this email. We demand that payment of the full amount be paid to us on or before 10.05.2016. If this account is not resolved by the specified date we reserve the right to commence legal proceedings to recover the debt without further notice to you, and you may be responsible for any associated legal fees or collection costs. If you wish to prevent this, please contact the undersigned as a matter of urgency and settle your account before the above date. Regards, Tad Whitney Chief Technology Officer

Even if an email claims you owe them money, if it threatens you, even if it looks like a legitimate invoice, even if it comes from someone you think you know, NEVER open attachments – especially .zip files – without verifying what it is and who it comes from.

Working as I do for a first-rate cloud backup company, I have noticed a definite uptick in people calling in for help to recover their files after having everything they own encrypted, and being blackmailed for anywhere between $300 and $2000 to get their data back (and there’s no guarantee the criminals will send them a decryption key even if they pay.)

carbonite-logo

You may want to consider these folks. They keep up to 12 versions of your data, making you almost Crypto-proof. This article at the New York Times mentions them by name.

The internet has made it excruciatingly easy for human scum to perpetrate financial crimes on their victims. Please be careful and don’t become one of those victims.

  1. Never open attachments from unknown senders.
  2. Keep your anti-virus software up to date.
  3. Back up your data safely.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Did you know the Post Office sells your information?

mail.jpg

I wish I had known this long ago. I would never have put in forwarding requests. It’s mean, it’s ignorant, and from a moral standpoint it’s downright reprehensible – but it’s legal, and they do it gleefully to get gain.

After our recent move to the wilds of Utah to the east coast, I put in three forwarding requests – one for our personal mail, and two for businesses. Little did I know that this would cause me no end of trouble, as that information was instantly transmitted to marketing agencies and basically anyone who has two coppers to rub together, and immediately began receiving junk mail and having my new information appear on automatically scraped websites.

Here’s the Forbes article I found – a bit dated, but still valid – that opened my eyes to this dirty little secret.

Whenever you fill out a change of address form with the United States Postal Service, the USPS adds your new details into a database of 160 million previous address changes over the past four years. The USPS has deals with data brokers to sell this data to anyone who pays, provided they have your old address. That means data firms cannot buy the address of Leroy Jones in Cincinnati, but can obtain his new address if they know where he used to live, which they usually do anyway.

This is, in a word, filthy. The PO’s responsibility is to get my mail from here to there, and that’s where their responsibility ends. To take people’s personal info and sell it to data brokers is nothing short of criminal, and it shouldn’t be permitted.

So this time, when we move from our temporary apartment to the home that we will – it is to be hoped – shortly be purchasing, I will not be relying on the PO to forward my mail. In plenty of time, I hope to inform our critical correspondents of our new address individually, and let the junk mail  get returned to sender.

There is supposedly a loophole, although I don’t know if I trust the Post Office as far as I could throw a grand piano:

There is, however, a loophole that keeps data brokers from accessing your updated address. When you fill out the online form to change an address, you can indicate a temporary change that provides six months of forwarding that can then be extended for another six months.  That information, unlike the changes marked as permanent, is not included in the master list sold to data brokers.

Time will tell.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Klaatu Barada Nikto

When I purchased the relatively recent remake of “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, it included a nice remastered copy of the 1950 original so my money wasn’t a total waste.

dayearthstoodstill1

If you’ve never seen it (Ai! What rock have you been living under?) it is based on the timeless story by Harry Bates, “Farewell to the Master,” which is worth a read all by itself.

Long seared having been seared into my mind since the first time I saw it as a child, I’m gratified that this film ranks 7th on Arthur C. Clarke’s top-10 science fiction film list, because even 65 years later – coincidentally my age – it’s just as relevant now as it was then. It’s a tight film, without a second wasted, and made with the intention that it would:

a) be as realistic as the technology allowed, and
b) transmit the message that mankind needs to get rid of its violent nature if it cares to survive.

Having spent a career as a linguist, I some time ago watched the film again with the intent of listening to Klaatu’s language, and transcribing what he said as accurately as possible. There is so little dialog that it can’t really be considered a conlang, but it was interesting to me nonetheless.

Klaatu barada nikto!” is one of the most famous lines ever uttered in a science-fiction film, but was not the only thing that Klaatu said. The remainder of the dialog is:

Gort! Deglet ovrosco! (Said after Klaatu is shot the first time)

Imray Klaatu naruwak.
Makro [pluvau|pluval], baratu lokdeniso impeklis.
Yavo tari [axo|axel] bugletio barengi degas.
(Klaatu’s instructions – ostensibly to his Federation – for his “demonstration of power”; this linguist’s best transcription. Two words are nearly impossible to pinpoint without a script or screenplay. You can listen to the dialog here.)

Klaatu barada nikto! (Probably something like “Klaatu needs help!”)

Gort, berengo. Probably much like “Mirab, his sails unfurled,” i.e. Gort, let’s blow this bait shack.

I never tire of watching this film – its value to the human condition, and as an early example of outstanding science fiction cinematography, will never diminish.

Here is the text of Klaatu’s speech, for your consideration:

“I am leaving soon, and you will forgive me if I speak bluntly. The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen, we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression, we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first sign of violence, they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more… profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder. Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.”

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Malware Payloads

Chapa NO MALWARE

I’ve noticed a lot of malicious emails coming through to one of my addresses lately – interestingly enough not at Gmail, which may even filter these things out before they are even sent to Spam – but to one of my private email addresses. Here are two examples:

Dear info,

Many thanks for your card payment. Please find payment confirmation attached below. Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact Credit Control Team.

Best regards

Dena Carpenter
Director Audit Services
Attachment: 851E2_info_43A8AE.rar
And this one:
Dear info,
Please check the bill in attachment.
In order to avoid fine you have to pay in 48 hours.
Best regards
Antonia Snider
Executive Director Sales Account Management Training Performance Support
Attachment: info_e-bill_669770.zip
Both of these emails came with compressed attachments, one a .zip file and one a .rar file. Inside each was a document with the extension “.js,” meaning it’s a javascript file which would automatically run once the file was clicked on to see the “invoice”or “bill.”

DO NOT DO THIS.

From Microsoft’s Malware Protection Center:

Payload: Downloads malware or unwanted software

This threat can download other malware and unwanted software onto your PC. We have seen it download the following threats:

  • PWS:Win32/Fareit
  • Ransom:Win32/Crowti.A

Connects to a remote host

We have seen this threat connect to a remote host, including:
  • davis1.ru using port 80
Malware can connect to a remote host to do any of the following:

  • Check for an Internet connection
  • Download and run files (including updates or other malware)
  • Report a new infection to its author
  • Receive configuration or other data
  • Receive instructions from a malicious hacker
  • Search for your PC location
  • Upload information taken from your PC
  • Validate a digital certificate

We have seen this threat access online content, including:

  • two.jpg
  • one.jpg

Another similar threat is 097M/Donoff. This Microsoft Article shows many types of emails that are being sent out to try to get people to run this malware. One of my emails contained Win32/Penzievs, which is so new that Microsoft has no technical details on it yet.

Working at Carbonite™, we have seen many customers who have been infected by the Cryptolocker virus and similar encryption programs. Almost all of these vicious payloads come as email attachments that are opened by the unwary. While having good anti-virus protection and a rcloud-based backup system that protects multiple versions of your files is good insurance, the best procedure is never to open attachments from unknown sources, no matter how legitimate they look. Especially always avoid “.exe,” “.com,” “.zip,” and “.rar” files.

Be careful out there. Protect yourself and your loved ones.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

 

Domain Registraton Scam – Bad Actors from China

Be careful out there. I just got this email the other day, and while it looked dodgy from the outset, I thought I’d follow it down the rabbit hole to see where it went.

Dear sir or madam,

We are a registrar for domain names authorized by Chinese government. Today, we received an application from Daoc International ltd applying to register [domain] as their brand name and some top-level domain names(.CN .HK etc). After our initail checking, We found the main body of domain names is same as yours.

We are handling the application and we need to confirm whether or not you authorize them to register them? Let me know your positon ASAP so as to solve it promptly. Looking forward to your reply.

Best regards,
Elvin Lee
Tel:+86-551- 6349 1191
Fax:+86-551- 6349 1192
Address:No.413,Changjiang Road,Hefei City,Anhui Province

OK. So I simply responded and said, “These domains are not authorized, thank you.”

Next up:

Notice: regarding this case, we did not receive any of your reply until now. Concerning the mentioned brand name please confirm whether you need to register by yourselves? If need, please let us know in time, we can send an application form to you. If you think the registration of that company or the use of the brand name will not bring any negative effect to your company, i suggest you can give up the brand name, then we will accept that company application unconditionally. Further questions please contact me in time.

Followed the same day by this:

Notice: hi, i am Elvin Lee. We had discussed the case about disputing your company’s brand name. You have never registered the brand name, the dispute period will come soon. If your company does not register the brand name, we will start aforesaid company registration within 2 workdays. That company will become the legal owner of the brand name in the world. We had notified you, so we are not responsible for any dispute question about your intellectual property right and trademark after they succeed in registration. If you have any questions, pls contact us within 2 workdays.

Basically telling me I’ll lose worldwide rights to my domain name if I don’t quickly take action, or alternatively, I should abandon my own domain so that they can legally register it with other companies.

Lastly, today:

Thanks for your confirmation. As soon as receiving the application of that company, we checked and found [domain] is your company’s using name. We are concerned that your name might be affected negatively by their applications, this is why we informed you. Following brand name and domain names are applied by that company:
Brand name:
[domain]
Domain names:
[domain].asia
[domain].cn
[domain].com.cn
[domain].com.hk
[domain].com.tw
[domain].hk
[domain].in
[domain].net.cn
[domain].org.cn
[domain].tw
[domain].co.in

You know that the domain names registration is open in the world, that company also has the right to apply for the available domain names. You only have the preferential rights to register them.

At present, we haven’t passed their application, we need your opinion. If your company consider these names of importance to your company’s business or interest, i suggest that your company register these names first so as to avoid confusion or speculation. Of course, If you don’t think their application will affect your company in the future, you can give up these names so that we can finish registering for them. Please give me your company’s decision as soon as possible.
Uh, no. While I have no doubt that there are many good and honest Chinese businesses, this is not one of them – in fact, falls under the rubric of “morals of a honey badger.”
Above and beyond the standard advice, “Never deal with spammers,” I’d add that you be extraordinarily careful when unsolicited business proposals come from China – in other words, be doubly vigilant.
The Old Wolf has spoken.

Sir Vival: The future that never was

Reblogged from a post at lafinlarry.net by Pepelaputr. I had never heard of this wonderful bit of bizzarrity, and thought it should get wider exposure.

tumblr_n1mvaus3DF1qzk2apo1_1280tumblr_n1mvaus3DF1qzk2apo2_1280W.C. Jerome’s %27Safety Car%27 1958_3

Walter C. Jerome of Worcester, Massachusetts was a man possessed by a mission to make the world’s safest car. In the end, he failed to advance auto safety but Jerome’s segmented sedan might easily qualify as the world’s strangest car.

Primarily concerned with head-on collisions, Jones split his car in two, hoping the front section would absorb collisions, leaving the passenger cabin untouched. Using a heavily modified 1948Hudson sedan as a rear section, he built a raised turret to provide the driver with maximum viability, a goal he furthered with a 360 degree wrap-around screen that constantly rotated past built-in squeegees to wipe it clean.

Wrap-around rubber bumpers protected the Sir Vival’s bodywork from errant motorists in slow speed collisions but they were just one of Jerome’s innovations. The Sir Vival was years ahead with seat belts, a padded interior, and built-in roll bars.

Auto safety has two parts: passive safety concerns passenger protection once a collision occurs, and active safety, or a car’s ability to avoid accidents due to handling and braking qualities. Like most Americans, Jerome focused only on passive safety, ignoring the fact that his car’s awkward separation into dual modules necessitated atrocious handling.

The Sir Vival appeared on magazine covers. Jerome had fancy two-color sales brochures printed that extolled its virtues. But its fifteen minutes in the spotlight quickly elapsed and it sunk without a trace. Amazingly, the eccentric Sir Vival turned out to be a survivor after all. A little the worse for wear, it remains in the care of Bellingham Auto Sales in Bellingham, Massachusetts.

Sir-Vival-1Sir-Vival-2

The world is so full of a number of things…

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Bad People / Good People

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Bedford, NH – March 20, 2016 – A robbery occurred last night at the Animal Rescue League of NH; a nonprofit that helps thousands of pets each year. The outside door to The League’s Pet Food Pantry was ripped off the hinges, and over 500 lbs of dry dog and cat food were stolen, including 15 lbs of dog treats. The shelf-lined walls that were stocked with pet food, are now bare. Although the door to The League’s tool shed was busted, it does not appear that that anything is missing. Bedford Police is on scene again today. Anyone with any information about this break-in, should call the Bedford Police Department at 603-472-5113.

The League is asking community members who are able to help replace the stolen food, to bring donations of dry dog food, dry cat food, and dog treats today until 5pm, or after 9am tomorrow. The League is also looking for help fixing the doors to the Pet Food Pantry and the tool shed.

The Animal Rescue League of NH receives no state or federal funding, and is dependent upon donations from community members and businesses to support their work of improving animal welfare in their communities by helping pets and the people who care for them.

For more information about the Animal Rescue League of NH, visit www.rescueleague.org

TV Report here


 

Bad people. Who the hqiz steals from an animal shelter? They probably sold the whole load for 20 bucks and promptly shot it into their veins.

 shutterstock_71001832-300x225palpatine
14 hours later:
B0LLNYh
Good people to the rescue.
I hope someone reports this drone. He is scum.
Image1
The Old Wolf has spoken.

Some things come and go, some things stick around

When I started shaving as a lad, I was able to use a blade for a while but there was a lot of blood involved until my skin got used to it. I began to understand the impact of “bleeding from every pore.” I finally gave that up; I wanted a shave, not a self-sacrifice. “Zit zot! Cut my face to shreds!”

When I switched to using a trusty Braun (I’ve had three since 1975), I started using a combination of LectricShave™ and AquaVelva™ for the befores and afters.

11288898  aci-038_1z

They work well, I liked them then, and I like them now. And it occurred to me that they’ve changed almost not at all since their introduction (AquaVelva in 1929!) and have survived without using a lot of fancy and idiotic marketing (although the late 50s and early 60s TV ads for LectricShave were pretty insipid, as most commercials from that era.)

Back in the late 60s and early 70s, there was a brand of after-shave called HaiKarate – under the “sex sells” rubric, they produced some really cheesy commercials showing nerdy guys with horn-rimmed glasses fending off sex-crazed women; each bottle came with a self-defense insert and the slogan, “Be careful how you use it.”

 

perfume_1975hai_karate

Although re-introduced in the UK in 2014, this product faded out in the 1980s. Unsurprisingly.

Other products came and went, some of which I remember fondly.

I purchased a set of “Nine Flags” colognes once, and I recall being very partial to “Italy” – the dry citrus was very easy on my nose.

Flags

Flags 2

This is one I wish had endured. You can still find some floating around on eBay, but time is not kind to these fragrances – in my experience, the chemicals begin to break down and they can smell rancid after a while.

I’m glad that the two products I have used for most of my life are still around.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Robocalls are Getting Worse

I’ve had five today alone, and now my auto-reject list is full.

Robocall1

Most recently I’ve seen:

  • “Business Opportunity” scam (multi-level marketing, one-up gifting scams, etc.)
  • “Congratulations! Your phone number has been randomly selected by Expedia / Travelocity / Whatever to receive two vacations for a promotional price of $799.00!”
  • “Business Loan Center”

All of these have reps working in call centers in India, the Philippines, and other such places.

I’ve written about these calls before, but the landscape has changed a bit. Instead of using dead numbers to use for their caller ID spoofed number, they are using randomly-generated or dynamically-created phone numbers; since my phone number is based in Utah, I’ve been getting a lot of calls that seem to be from local numbers but which actually originate elsewhere. The Caller ID number, however, may belong to a real person.

I’ve even been called by people asking me to “stop calling them” – clearly my own number is showing up on other people’s screens.

Articles like this one at HuffPo give a few ideas for people with land-lines, but the sad truth is that there is little to nothing that can be done to stop this plague unless some serious effort is made at the legislative level, and our political leaders probably don’t even understand the full scope of the issue. Witness the CAN-SPAM act, for which our legislators roundly congratulated each other, and which actually increased the amount of spam being sent out by unethical and unscrupulous operations.

The FTC has not been idle, but it’s like a hydra – for every bad actor they shut down, ten more seem to spring up. This infographic gives a lot of good information about how the calls are driven, and why the problem is so massive.

The best thing I can think of is for people affected to contact their representatives and in no uncertain terms express how pissed off they are with the criminals who are interrupting our lives multiple times a day with fraudulent proposals.

Maybe we could hire some robocalling outfits to flood their phone lines 24 hours a day with automated requests to do something about the problem؟

The Old Wolf has spoken.