Category Archives: Items of interest

A tax on people who are bad at math

Posted on by The Old Wolf

Most of us dream of it. The big win.

“Next summer I’ll make the strike, and this time I’ll put it into something safe for the rest of my life, and stop this fool wandering around.” [1]

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The above map shows the states (in blue) which have state-sponsored lotteries. When the jackpot rises to the hundreds of millions of dollars, people flock to the convenience stores and plunk down a few dollars for the chance at a big one. But the probability of winning is so vanishingly small that players are simply flushing their money down the toilet for a brief, titillating dream.

The infographic below is large, but rather enlightening, as it makes your chances rather visible in terms of scale.

suckers

In Arabic, the appropriate expression is “بكرة في المشمش” (bokra fil mishmish, or “tomorrow, when the apricots bloom.”) That’s the equivalent of “How about never. Is never good for you?”

Proponents of lotteries push the idea that it’s cheap entertainment, cheaper than going to a movie or bowling or to a dance or concert. But I’m put in mind of Isiah 29:8:

“It shall even be as when an hungry man dreameth, and, behold, he eateth; but he awaketh, and his soul is empty: or as when a thirsty man dreameth, and, behold, he drinketh; but he awaketh, and, behold, he is faint, and his soul hath appetite.”

It is cheap entertainment… cheap as in the sense of little worth. When I was a kid in the 50’s, “made in Japan” was the equivalent of cheap slum, garbage, worthless trash – nowadays “made in China” seems to have taken over that shame (although we consume millions of tons of it from Wal-Mart and other places.)

Oh, make no mistake… I’ve been tempted. I live in one of the six states which has no lottery, and a couple of times I’ve been sorely tried… a little drive would take me over the border where I could plunk down my quatloos like the rest of humanity. But thankfully, I’ve prevailed, simply by reminding myself of the odds, and realizing that most of my money would be going to subsidize expenses for a state other than my own.

Despite the odds, millions play – and many others drop cash for worthless “systems” like the one shown here:

scumbag

Yes, I’d love to be a multi-millionaire… but like WOPR said at the end of “War Games”, it’s a strange game… the only winning move is not to play.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[1] Van Tilburg Clark, Walter, “The Wind and the Snow of Winter”

Bless you!

Posted on by The Old Wolf

How you sneeze in public:

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How you sneeze when you’re alone:

haah

(With apologies to Don Martin)

A cherished colleague of mine who passed away far too soon after a battle with cancer had her office two doors down from mine on the 21st floor of our building. This dear lady had a sneeze that would rattle the windows on the ground floor, and every time I heard her let fly I’d email her a drawing of a mop and bucket, or Noah’s flood, something similar; one day I sent her the image above which I dashed off for her benefit. I’d know she had gotten it when I heard her laugh, which was almost as loud.

Some myths about sneezing:

Your heart stops when you sneeze.  When your chest contracts because of a sneeze, your blood flow is momentarily constricted as well. As a result, the rhythm of your heart may change, but it definitely doesn’t stop.

You can’t keep your eyes open when you sneeze. If you do, your eyeballs will pop out. Most people naturally close their eyes when they sneeze, but if they are able to keep them open, their eyes stay firmly planted in their heads where they belong. Your blood pressure may spike momentarily, but that’s about it.

If you sneeze X times in a row, you’ll have an orgasm. No idea who came up with this one – although sneezing releases endorphins and can feel good, there’s no relationship between sneezing and sex.

Some facts about sneezing:

The Greek word for sneeze is πνεῦμα (pneuma) which means “soul or spirit.” In ancient times, people believed that sneezing was a near-death experience; a blessing would keep your soul from escaping, and protect you from the devil who is just waiting to come in.

A sneeze can travel up to one hundred miles per hour. The particles and spit emitted when we sneeze can travel up to five feet away, and the bacteria sent into the air by our sternutation can spread up to 150 feet away.

If you sneeze on Monday, you sneeze for danger;
Sneeze on Tuesday, you kiss a stranger;
Sneeze on Wednesday, you sneeze for a letter;
Sneeze on a Thursday, for something better;
Sneeze on a Friday, you sneeze for sorrow;
Sneeze on a Saturday, your sweetheart tomorrow;
Sneeze on a Sunday, your safety seek,
The devil will have you the whole of the week.

The sounds of sneezing around the world:

English: Achoo!
French: Atchoum!
Greek: αψoύ! (apsou)
Italian: Etciù!
Japanese: hakushon!
Swedish: Atjo!
Spanish: !Atchús!
Russian: Apchkhi!
German: Hatchi!

Mom was not expecting this…

grumpy

Everyone sneezes.

(Imgur image by ControversyPeanut)

And some people absolutely know how to get maximum value out of a good sneeze photo:

Calvin Sneeze

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

To your health!

The Old Wolf has spoken.

What brand is your state famous for?

Posted on by The Old Wolf

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Click to enlarge

Found at designtaxi.com. Maps on the Web has created a map that shows the most famous brand to come from each state in the US.

For obvious reasons, the map is creating a stir among those who don’t agree with the particular choice made to represent their state. Regardless of how it all shakes out, I found the map intriguing as I only knew the origins of a few of these brands.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

 

A Conversation with Hitler (recorded)

Posted on by The Old Wolf

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Adolf Hitler having a conversation with The Marshal of Finland on his birthday in 1942.

This conversation was secretly recorded; this is the only known recording of Hitler while not giving a speech. The video below provides translated subtitles to the conversation.

Hitler deserves no particular focus or attention, but as a historical item of interest, this has value. The only time I ever heard his voice was in his recorded speeches, when he’s reveling in his bombastic madness. It sounds uncanny to hear him speaking in an intimate, conversational setting.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Practicing the Cello in Africa

Posted on by The Old Wolf

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©2011, Andrew McConnell, Published in the Guardian. This photo earned the photojournalism award from American press photographers.

A BBC article gives some more information about the orchestra and chorus. The orchestra was featured in “Kinshasa Symphony,” one of the finalist films in the 6th Annual Africa World Documentary Film Festival.

  • Kinshasa Symphony (95m) by Klaus Wischmann (Germany)
    Two hundred orchestral musicians are playing Beethoven’s Ninth – Freude schöner Götterfunken. A power cut strikes just a few bars before the last movement. Problems like this are the least of the worries facing the only symphony orchestra in the Congo. In the 15 years of its existence, the musicians have survived two putsches, various crises and a war. But concentration on the music and hopes for a better future keeps them going. “Kinshasa Symphony” is a study of people in one of the world’s most chaotic cities doing their best to maintain one of the most complex systems of joint human endeavor, a symphony orchestra. The film is about the Democratic Republic of Congo, the people in Kinshasa and the power of music.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Message in a Bottle

Posted on by The Old Wolf

Or a gravestone, as the case may be.

From the Oregonian, December 23, 2012

The letter came in a box of Halloween decorations purchased at Kmart, but for a year Julie Keith never knew. It gathered dust in her storage, a haunting plea for help hidden among artificial skeletons, tombstones and spider webs.

Keith, a 42-year-old vehicle donation manager at a southeast Portland Goodwill, at one point considered donating the unopened $29.99 Kmart graveyard kit. It was one of those accumulated items you never need and easily forget. But on a Sunday afternoon in October, Keith pulled the orange and black box from storage. She intended to decorate her home in Damascus for her daughter’s fifth birthday, just days before Halloween.

She ripped open the box and threw aside the cellophane.

That’s when Keith found it. Scribbled onto paper and folded into eighths, the letter was tucked between two Styrofoam headstones.

“Sir:

“If you occasionally buy this product, please kindly resend this letter to the World Human Right Organization. Thousands people here who are under the persicution of the Chinese Communist Party Government will thank and remember you forever.”

“People who work here have to work 15 hours a day without Saturday, Sunday break and any holidays. Otherwise, they will suffer torturement, beat and rude remark. Nearly no payment (10 yuan/1 month, or $1.61).”

“People who work here, suffer punishment 1-3 years averagely, but without Court Sentence (unlaw punishment). Many of them are Falun Gong practitioners, who are totally innocent people only because they have different believe to CCPG. They often suffer more punishment than others.”

The letter was not signed.

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The graveyard kit, the letter read, was made in unit 8, department 2 of the Masanjia Labor Camp in Shenyang, China. Chinese characters broke up choppy English sentences.

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The administrative building of the Masanjia labor camp and other facilities in China.

Keith started doing homework and digging around, and the letter was widely published on the internet. Responses ranged from outraged to skeptical, including those who pointed out that her publication of this material put the writer at risk if he/she were real.

On June 11th, 2013, The New York Times published a follow-up article indicating that the writer had been found, and was no longer in the labor camp. It’s an interesting read and lends credence to the original story, although there has been no other independent confirmation from inside China.

It appears that many companies who import Chinese products have no policies that bar the use of forced labor.

Just something else to think about the next time you go shopping at a big box store and the label says “Made in China.”

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The Totally Ghoul product – the letter from China was found in a package like this.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Terror in Three Words

Posted on by The Old Wolf

A recent question over at Reddit asked, “Can you Terrify Us in Just Three Words?”

Below, the top entries or ones that I found especially terrifying (with the really sick ones, sadly abundant, removed for family friendliness).

Search History Subpoena
You Tested Positive
No Toilet Paper
Frenulum Papercut Extravaganza [1]
Nuclear Launch Detected
We Should Talk
You’ll Never Retire
Wow, That’s Small
Continuous Kidney Stones
Everyone Dies Alone
Look Behind You
My Office. Now.
You’re Being Audited
Digital Rights Management
President Kim Kardashian
You Have Cancer
Nutella Was Discontinued
Amy’s Baking Company
No More Bacon [2]
Winter is Coming [3]
President Sarah Palin

I’d have to agree, most of these are downright terrifying. I’m reminded of Hemingway’s bleak short story: “For sale, baby shoes. Never worn;” also, the shortest horror story ever written: “The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.”

It was interesting to see what people consider terrifying.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[1] Ouch! I’ve done my tongue on an envelope, but never this.

[2] One of the most terrifying of all

[3] I’m not a Game of Thrones fan – I’ve neither seen nor read it – but at least I recognized this.

Fuchsia, Mauve, Puce, and Teal: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Posted on by The Old Wolf

… Well, at least not if you’re a guy. That’s the conventional wisdom, right?

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So, conventional wisdom would dictate that if you’re a guy, you’ll score very poorly on this test:

Color1

Try it if you’re curious – it’s an interesting experiment.

I expected to fail miserably; my wife is always telling me I can’t tell the difference between red, maroon, magenta, and… what was the name of that color?

Well, as it turns out, I’m on the very high end of the perception scale. Here’s what I managed to do:

Color2

My score was 8 – the lower your score, the better you did. The highest (worst) score for my gender and age range was 1970.

Color3

And this chart shows where my weaknesses lie:

Color2a

So in terms of actually being able to see differences in colors, my skills are relatively good. However, in terms of being able to name them, I think that I probably fall squarely into my wife’s expectations. Except for a few odd colors, like fuchsia,

gorgeous-fuchsia-plant.small

which I happen to know because I love this particular plant, I don’t have a lot of names for colors that you don’t see in the office.

There’s not only some psychology at work here, but also some linguistic theory. The languages of some simple cultures, such as Dani, only distinguish two colors: mili for cool/dark hues such as blue, green, and black, and mola for warm/light colors such as red, yellow, and white. Now, that doesn’t mean the Dani peoples can’t see these colors, but only that they don’t have specific words for them. The sky might be “sky mili”, grass might be “soft mili,” etc.

The first color to actually break out as languages increase in sophistication is red, followed by a green/blue (grue) blend, followed by the separation of grue into green and blue. There’s a whole spectrum. One could draw some rather rude conclusions about the relative sophistication of the male brain, but I think that socially, it’s more a case of need and experience. Guys don’t need to know what color that mammoth is to bring it down; as long as you can describe the jerseys of opposing football teams, you’re golden. Ladies, on the other hand… well, you would never wear a mauve top with teal shoes, now would you? These things are important.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Impractical idea No. 103

Posted on by The Old Wolf

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In one of the more iconic images of the early 20th century, a faked photograph shows a blimp mooring at the top of the Empire State Building. The tower was originally designed with such moorings in mind, but the entire idea was a bust from the get-go.

Empire_State_Building_Mooring_Mast_412_426

Here’s the schematic showing how passengers would disembark from a transatlantic dirigible, take stairs down from the 103rd floor platform to the 102nd, and then the elevator to a processing station on the 86th floor. never mind that dirigibles had their passenger compartment in the center, and passengers would be required to navigate narrow passages to get to any potential nose exit.

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The 103rd floor is largely a mechanical room, but it has a narrow door leading to the outside balcony:

Empire_State_Bldg_103rd_Floor_Interior_02_412_426

If you’re a dignitary, there’s a chance you can get up there for a photo op – here former Buffalo Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick. Notice how low the balcony wall is, which is why the general public is not permitted.

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As for why they never went ahead with the dirigible plan?

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The US Navy, testing its airship the USS Los Angeles (ZR-3), saw it rise to a near-vertical position, after her tail rose out-of-control while she was moored at the high mast at Naval Air Station Lakehurst, New Jersey in 1927.

Airships can only be moored by the nose at such masts, and severe updrafts from the Empire State Building would have whipped any dirigible around like a child’s balloon.

Well, at least they managed it somehow in “Fringe.”

fringe-zeppelins

Showing the alternate universe to the military

The Old Wolf has spoken.