Rule 101: You haven’t seen the scariest thing on the internet

GoatsOnFire

See, that’s the way the Internet is. But even knowing that, it will often surprise you.

In the mid 19th century, Brigham Young came up with a new alphabet designed to help foreign-speaking immigrants to the State of Deseret (otherwise known as the Utah territory) learn to read English. Developed by the board of regents of the University of Deseret (later the University of Utah,) it was known as the Deseret Alphabet. Four volumes were published in the alphabet in 1868 – two primers (the Deseret First Book and the Deseret Second Book), extracts from the Book of Mormon and a complete volume of the latter. The Deseret News published a column printed in the new alphabet, and there are still diaries, letters, meeting minutes, coinage and one headstone in Cedar City, Utah, to attest to its brief existence.

coin

Mormon five-dollar gold piece, inscribed with “Holiness to the Lord” in Deseret Alphabet.

iron-gravestone

The gravestone in Cedar City. The inscription reads,

“In memory of John T. Morris Born Feb
14 1828 Lanfair Tahaira
Danbyshire North Wales.
Died Feb 20, 1855 Aged 27”

Deseret Alphabet Reader 1868

The Deseret Second Book.

Deseret Second Book Sample

Sample from the Deseret Second Book. Lesson 3 is entitled “The Spring,” Lesson 4 is “The Hare.”

As with other spelling reforms initiated during the same period of history, it never caught on. Immigrants preferred to learn English with all its horrid spelling [1] in a script that most of them already knew than try to struggle with an entirely new alphabet, and the Deseret Alphabet quietly died.

Or so it seemed.

Searching this morning, just out of curiosity as to what the printed volumes are selling for these days (I own copies, you see,) I happened across this:

Deseret_guest_week_bill_amend_foxtrot

It seems that an afficionado of the Deseret Alphabet (as intimated above, there are afficionadi for everything, no matter how obscure) has taken the trouble to transliterate every XKCD into Deseret Alphabet. I, too, am an afficionado of the Deseret Alphabet; this dude is the linguistic equivalent of Techno Bill. The irony here is delicious – I couldn’t think of a more appropriate, edgy strip to retrogress back into a failed religious experiment. For the curious, the original page where this strip is found includes links to the English version of the comic so you can see what it says. It is of note that the Unicode Consortium took note of the Deseret Alphabet, so regardless of whether or not interest in the artifact continues, it will always have a place in history.

As obscure as it is, this delights me no end, as I made a study of the Deseret Alphabet during my days as a master’s candidate in applied linguistics. And, just in case you think that you’ve reached the bottom of strangeness with this little bit of whimsy, you may want to have a peep here, if you dare. Rule 101 has no bottom. [2]

๐œ ๐„๐ข๐” ๐š๐ƒ๐ข๐™ ๐๐ˆ๐ž ๐๐‘๐„๐—๐ค.


[1] You’re not certain English spelling is all that bad? Try reading “The Chaos”, found at this page. I triple-dog dare you to read it through without any mistakes. Any non-native speakers who can do so win the Internet. I’m looking atย you, Bjornar.

[2] I’m not even talking about the dark underbelly of the internet. Trust me, you don’t want to go there. That way lies madness.

Let’s help the Mint out a bit, shall we?

According to this article at Newser, “Penny Costs 2 Cents to Make, Mint Stumped on Fix”.

They’ve been trying to create new pennies out of all sorts of materials, but can’t seem to come up with a cheaper alternative.

From a numismatic standpoint, I would “die” to have one of these patterns:

Pattern

Martha Washington Penny Pattern, with “In God We Trust” and ‘Liberty” scrambled

But that aside, I have the perfect solution for the mint, if they’d just take my advice:

Stop making pennies. Eliminate them altogether.

There. You’re welcome.

Oh, and you say a nickel costs 11ยข to make, but a penny costs 2ยข? Well, once you’ve gotten rid of the penny, that leaves all that existing manufacturing equipment available for making the new, smaller 5ยข piece… for only 2ยข. Yes, vending machine owners all across the country will have to adjust, but it wouldn’t be the first time. Times change.

The Old Wolf’s two penn’orth.

2cents

The tallest rock climbing wall in the world

Groeningen

You are looking at Excalibur, the world’s tallest rock climbing wall, erected in Groningen, Netherlands. Climbing to the top would only be slightly harder than pronouncing “Groningen” correctly. I take one look at this thing and all I can think is “kill me now.”

Groeningen2

No, I get woozy just looking at these pictures. Kinda like that video of radio tower climbers.

Some people have cojones of solid rock!

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Leyat Hรฉlica

Marcel Leyatย (1885-1986), born in Die, France, was an airplane designer and manufacturer. He began turning out airplanes in 1909. In 1919, he began manufacturing automobiles based on his experience with airplanes. The automobiles were built on the Quai de Grenelle in Paris.

leyatport1914

Marcel Leyat in 1914

The first model was called the Hรฉlica, also known as ‘The plane without wings’. The passengers sat behind each other as in an aircraft. The vehicle was steered using the rear wheels and the car was not powered by an engine turning the wheels, but by a giant propeller powered by an 8 bhp (6.0 kW) Scorpion engine. The entire body of the vehicle was made of plywood, and weighed just 250 kg (550 lb), which made it dangerously fast.

696px-Helica_de_Leyat_1921

1921 Hรฉlica at the Musรฉe des Arts et Mรฉtiers, Paris.ย (Found at Wikipedia)

In 1927, A Hรฉlica reached the speed of 106 mph (171 km/h) at the Montlhรฉry circuit. Leyat continued to experiment with his Helica; he tried using propellers with two and four blades. Between 1919 and 1925, Leyat managed to sell 30 vehicles.

66

Hรฉlica 2H, Series D21 (found at Frog Blog)

A page about Leyat (in French) can be found here.

This vehicle offers a practical solution for keeping bugs off your windshield; pedestrians who happen to encounter the Hรฉlica would not fare well, I fear me.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Change or Die

Excerpted from an article by Alan Deutschman

“Change or Die”

What if you were given that choice? For real. … What if a well-informed, trusted authority figure said you had to make difficult and enduring changes in the way you think and act? If you didn’t, your time would end soon — a lot sooner than it had to. Could you change when change really mattered? When it mattered most?

Yes, you say?

Try again.

Yes?

You’re probably deluding yourself.

You wouldn’t change.

Don’t believe it? You want odds? Here are the odds, the scientifically studied odds: nine to one. That’s nine to one against you. How do you like those odds?

Exercise or Die

Dr. Edward Miller, the dean of the medical school and CEO of the hospital at Johns Hopkins University… turned the discussion to patients whose heart disease is so severe that they undergo bypass surgery, a traumatic and expensive procedure that can cost more than $100,000 if complications arise. About 600,000 people have bypasses every year in the United States, and 1.3 million heart patients have angioplasties — all at a total cost of around $30 billion. The procedures temporarily relieve chest pains but rarely prevent heart attacks or prolong lives. Around half of the time, the bypass grafts clog up in a few years; the angioplasties, in a few months. The causes of this so-called restenosis are complex. It’s sometimes a reaction to the trauma of the surgery itself. But many patients could avoid the return of pain and the need to repeat the surgery — not to mention arrest the course of their disease before it kills them — by switching to healthier lifestyles. Yet very few do. “If you look at people after coronary-artery bypass grafting two years later, 90% of them have not changed their lifestyle,” Miller said. “And that’s been studied over and over and over again. And so we’re missing some link in there. Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can’t.”

———-

While the article above is slanted at corporate leadership and mentions a particular diet plan that was more successful than others, the reason people don’t change is that the benefits of not changing outweigh the prices they are paying.

Every moment is a choice, and every choice has prices and benefits.

I’m currently about 30 pounds above my ideal weight, and that’s because I’m firmly committed to being 30 pounds above my ideal weight. There’s no other reason, no excuse, no story. It’s what I’m choosing.

I’ve released that excess weight twice in my life, and believe you me, it felt awesome. But while I’m committed to getting back to a healthy lifestyle, I may also be committed to staying safe and comfortable, because that protects me from the fear of failure – and the fear of success. Life gets in the way, and it’s oh, so easy to revert to old habits and patterns that serve as protective barriers against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

My body is telling me it’s really time for a change, and I’m feeling like the price I’m paying is higher than I’m comfortable with. Today the scale reads 187. My intention is to get back to 165, which means I’ll have 3 new suits and a whole closet full of pants I can fit into again.

Watch this space; I’ll report my progress.

We’ll see.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Mamihlapinatapei

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Found this lovely picture over at Frog Blog, and thought immediately of the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego. They have a word in their language which is classified by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most succinct and one of the most difficult to translate.

Mamihlapinatapei (or mamihlapinatapai) means “a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will offer something that they both desire but are unwilling to suggest or offer themselves.” In other words, “we both want this like crazy, but I’m sure as hqiz not going to be the first one to make a move.”

There are many other words like this in other languages, and I’ll toss one out occasionally. I love languages and language oddities, and this one is one of my favorites.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Kadupul Flower

Don’t try to give a bouquet of these to your girlfriend.

KadupulFlower1

The Kadupul flower, or Epiphyllum oxypetalum, blooms rarely, only at night, and its blossoms wilt before dawn. Even if you live in it’s native habitat of Sri Lanka, you’re unlikely to see its delicate beauty. And, it doesn’t smell very nice, either.

The world is so full of a number of things…

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Order of the Phoenix

If you’re ever wandering down Leinster Gardens in Bayswater Road in London, take a careful look at Numbers 23 and 24. These houses are in fact just faรงades, built to disguise an exposed part of the Metropolitan underground railway that runs behind them. In the 1930s, a man famously sold hundreds of guests tickets to a black tie charity ball there โ€“ only for them to turn up and discover the houses were fakes.

Edit:ย Since I wrote this little post, these building fronts have featured prominently in an episode of “Sherlock Holmes,” the wonderful new series staring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. I was delighted to see them written in to the plot.

Picture: Murray Sanders / Daily Mail /Rex Features

Found at The Telegraph.

Obviously, the muggles would never notice…

The Old Wolf has… *obliviate!*

Gallium-induced structural failure of an aluminum can

Gallium – the dream of every high-school chemistry prankster. Of course, 45 years after my last high-school chem class, someone has monetized that space:

As a kid, I often coated silver coins with mercury (if you have any questions about why my brain works the way it does, you can point the finger of blame right there.) They became shiny like proof coins, and felt slick to the touch. Unfortunately, the shininess didn’t last, and as the coins oxidized, they took on a dull matte finish. Even more interesting, however, is some real chemistry with gallium, and watching it infiltrate the crystal structure of an aluminum can is intriguing.

To paraphrase Will Hunting, a lot of people are dropping a hundred grand on an education you can get for the price of a decent internet connection.

The Old Wolf has spoken.