Tutpoxy (or, never give a repair job to an incompetent)

If  you’re not familiar with the infamous attempt at restoration of a 19th-century fresco by Spanish artist Elias Garcia Martinez, done by an elderly woman at the the church of Santuario de Misericordia in Borja, Spain, then you are either living under a rock or – perhaps – concerning yourself with more important things than obscure news.

jesus

Now comes a similar but no-less disturbing tale from Egypt, featuring the iconic mask of King Tutankhamun.

King-Tut-Golden-Mask-kings-and-queens-2461543-850-1212

If you’re in charge of cleaning this famous relic, “What do you do if someone accidentally damages one of the world’s most famous artifacts under your charge at the Egyptian Museum? Do you a) report it to the nation’s antiquities ministry to ensure it’s properly repaired by specialists, or b) frantically call your husband so he can sloppily glue the broken piece back into place?” (from the Newser article).

tutpoxy

Apparently the latter, based on the picture above, is exactly what happened. Newser continues:

“The AP notes it reached three of the Cairo museum’s conservators by phone, and they’re all giving different stories: They don’t seem to agree on when the Epoxy Incident happened, and one says the beard was loose and purposely removed. What they do agree on—and all sources spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal—is that someone on high ordered a quick fix, and that the adhesive used was more damaging than helpful. “Unfortunately, he used a very irreversible material,” one of the conservators said. “Epoxy has a very high property for attaching and is used on metal or stone, but … it wasn’t suitable for an outstanding object like Tutankhamun’s golden mask.”

For now, the lights at the display are being kept low. I can only hope that the internal politics can be overcome sufficiently to get the artifact properly repaired, which apparently now will be a massive undertaking. Sounds to me like some official in the chain needs to be mummified himself.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Scam: “Edmond Homo Benjamin”

OK, this one made me laugh.

Subject: Attn;My Dear,
From: “Mr. Jerry Moore.” <western.unionservice13@gmail.com>

To: undisclosed-recipients:;

Attn;My Dear,

I write to inform you that we already issued those documents to accompany your $5,000 payment each day. But the only problem we are having right here is your personal signatures which the Federal Administer of Fund Benin Republic requested that you must sign those documents before we can transfer funds to you. However, I told the officer in charge that it will not be necessary for you to come down here due to your occupation or some other thing that may not allow you to come down here to sign those documents yourself. The Minster Administrator of Fund said that you should get an attorney to sign on your behalf if you are unable to come down here in person.

I think this way is the best and the only way forward for you to receive the funds. I have negotiated with an attorney who would sign on your behalf. His name is Edmond Homo Benjamin. According to him you are to pay for the accredited attorney. He is charging $120.00 to be paid before he gets those documents signed in your favor. I told him to consider signing those documents on your behalf today with a promise that you would pay him back from the $5,000 payment you suppose to receive tomorrow morning if he gets those documents signed today.And his respond is that you have to pay the accredited attorney fee of $120.00 before signing those documents. Well, I asked him for the verylast time if he could allow you pay half of his fee today with a promise that you would pay him the Remain balance tomorrow from your $5,000 payment at the western union office once you pick up the $5,000 payment. Well, he said that you should pay the half of the fee $60.00 through western union today. He want me to ask you if you would be so kind to pay him back the remain $60.00 balance at the western union office once you picked up the $5,000 pay out each day. I am hereby this writing to ask you to let me know if you would pay his balance immediately you pick up the $5,000 payment.

He wants you to pay half of $60.00 today and pay the balance at the western union office once you picked up the $5,000 payment tomorrow.But if you are not kind enough to pay his balance after picking thefirst transfer just do not bother yourself not to reply because I won’t see another attorney here to do this. Here is information for you to pay $60.00 half of his fee through western union today.

Get back to us to give you name where to Send The half of the fee $60.00 today via western union money Transfer

RECEIVER NAME:….
COUNTRY:……..BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY:…………COTONOU
TEST QUESTION:..
TEST ANSWER:….
AMOUNT:….$60.00
MTCN………
The attorney will get those documents signed as soon as he confirms the half of his fee from you. I will advice you to pay him the half of $60.00 and let him sign the documents and you will then pay the other balance of $60.00 form your $5,000 payment.You are advice to reconfirm your contact address while sending the half payment to avoid mistakes on remitting your first payment. state your information as stated below.

Your name…….
Beneficiary country……..
Phone no…….
Address/city………
Age/sex…..
Occupation….
I await your compliance.
Sincerely,
Money Transfer Department
Mr. Jerry Moore.
TEL:+229-.9825 4024
Email:w.service12@yahoo.fr

Yas, well, you’ll be awaiting my compliance until Hell freezes over, Mr. Jerry Moore. These people are getting desperate – they only want $60.00 now, instead of hundreds or thousands. Naturally, if a victim bites, there will be “other fees” to be paid, ad infinitum.
It seems that these scams have recently shifted from Nigeria to Benin, or else the Nigerians are using Benin as a front to try to hide their identity.

Whatever the case, people, be careful out there. Nobody in Africa has any money for you, and NEVER SEND MONEY TO A STRANGER WITH WESTERN UNION OR MONEY CARDS.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Climate change can’t be real, the earth is so *big*!

Well, it’s not as big as all that when you look at how it’s constituted.

global-water-volume-fresh-large

This image shows all the earth’s water, all the fresh water, and all the water in lakes and rivers represented as spheres compared with the earth.

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This image shows the earth’s water and atmosphere in the same spherical form.

Now, those spheres are still huge – but one must also realize that there are seven billion people on the surface of the earth who are busily crapping into the nest. It’s not hard to visualize our industry and our agriculture making a difference in the composition of those little globes over a couple of centuries.
Progress is being made. Carbon emissions are coming down, many nations are rapidly making the switch to renewable energy (sadly, ours is not one of them – at least not the “rapidly” part), and governments are doing what they can in their inefficient, ossified way to reduce surface pollution.
I just found these images fascinating and thought-provoking, and thought they were worth sharing.
The Old Wolf has spoken.

The fruits of ignorance: Spell Casters

Native doctors

Today’s email:

Good day everybody, I’m Flora from U.K. Today has being the most happiest day of my life after 6 months of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love. I tried all my possible best to make sure i make my husband happy but it never seems to work out well, it was like I’m doing everything in vain but all thanks to Great Priest Essyewa for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew this great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Great Priest Essyewa on how he has helped a lots of people on their relationship problems, i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies on how he has helped some many women to reunite their homes and husbands. so, i decided not to waste time and i contacted him via: greatpriestessyewa@gmail.com and he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out, i believed Priest Essyewa so much because i believe he can’t fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Priest Essyewa never failed me, my husband who left me for good 6 months come back to me apologizing and asking for forgiveness. since then, My husband and i have been living contentedly since Great Priest Essyewa reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so much Priest Essyewa for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address greatpriestessyewa@gmail.com just in-case you have any below problems and i believed he will surely solve yours just the way he solved mine.

(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want your husband or wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial stance.
(9) If you are barren and want to have a child.

This is not the first spell-caster email I’ve received, I seem to recall another one hawking this particular individual’s “services.”

I was curious as to how prevalent this sort of thing is, given the kind of rubbish my mother received when she was still alive.

Mathias

The depth and fearsomeness of the ignorance is staggering; the two following examples have to do with “curing” HIV, found at a page called “My Home Remedies:”

I want to share my testimony about the man called Great Priest Essyewa who helped me heal my HIV sickness, i know so many of you will be skeptical about this my story but you have every right to be skeptical because i was doubting when i first read a testimony of a man who said this man has also help him, until i get in touch with this man, this man is a real God sent from above to heal his people from this deadly disease. i am a living witness and i am heal from this sickness,so i would like so many of you that is HIV positive to be cure by this great man. This is the main reason why i am sharing this testimony so that you will contact him and get his herbal medicine, you do not need to worry or skeptical until you contact him and get what you are looking for from him, this man is a genuine man i have meant him facially and i have seen his hand work.please anyone looking for the help of this great man should contact him via: greatpriestessyewa@gmail.com truly here is a really solution home to all problem. please do what he ask you to do just trust me all your pains will be gone, i have gone for check up in the hospital my pains are all gone. I AM FREE. THANK greatpriestessyewa@gmail.com health is power.

Here’s another one:

Hello my name is Joyce Adams i am from Togo i have a wonderful testimony to share to you all , how a great spell cast help me and my friend to cure our hiv .back them we where doing prostitution but we change but we did not no we where have hiv when i was about to get married me and my husband visited a doctor for blood group the doctor discover that i was a hiv positive i was so diverstated we try to look for a solution .One day i went out for a shorping i meet an old friend of my he introduced me to a very powerful spellcaster i did not believed him but he told me every thing we be fine i believed him .he told me to go within 7days every thing we be fine she told me to pay a little amount of money to buy things that we be used .and immediately 7 days i was hiv nagative i am happy married and have a child.thanks to Madamlovethhomeofcure@outlook.com if you need her help email her Madamlovethhomeofcure@outlook.com

A spell-caster’s website.

Sadly, the amount of bulldust that runs rampant in our world is beyond a quick cure, and people die as a result of chasing after these shamans. As a race of people, far too many individuals still live in darkness, and where darkness reigns, the philosophies of men rush in to fill the void – most of it driven in the name of profit.

It will take generations to raise the population of our planet out of ignorance and misery; education is the only answer. We as a planet must begin to think more globally – billions of people continue to live in intolerable conditions, and their human value is being largely ignored and wasted.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Passwords: Squeal like a pig!

Passwords are the bane of computer users  and IT administrators, and – for the most part – an open, beckoning door to hackers, scammers, and Russian Viagra spammers.

But until someone comes up with something more practical and secure, we need them.

Sure, people are trying. Fingerprint scanning, retinal scanning, all sorts of biometric stuff is either on the market or in development, but thus far there seem to be either financial barriers or security questions around many of these.

So we continue to use passwords.

I’ve written about strong passwords and stronger passwords; for myself, I do my best to make my passwords as strong as possible, but I have dozens of them, and that makes them hard to remember.

A cartoon posted by an IT colleague of mine just today points out the difficulty, especially as we grow older:

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Buckets

As Friedrich Althoff  (not Konrad Adenauer) said, “Was gebe ich auf mein dummes Geschwätz von gestern?” (What do I care about the stupid hqiz I said yesterday?”)

Now, some sysadmins take joy in making things as hard as possible for their user base:

dt980406dhc0

Dilbert

Having spent years in IT, Mordac is hands-down my favorite Dilbert character. Parenthetically, Mordac’s appearance has changed over the years, but I like this iteration the best because he reminds me of one of my old IT colleagues, who was paradoxically one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.

On the other hand, it drives me nuts when webmasters limit their passwords; given the nature of hacking attempts, to deliberately block users from including spaces or special characters in their passwords is inviting more incursions, and whenever I encounter a site like this it makes me want to reach through my modem and slap someone to Nouakchott and back.

So how does one remember a laundry list of passwords without putting sticky notes on your CPU? Well, there are certain encryption programs and lockers out there that allow you to keep these things written down, using one (very complex) master password to access the file, which is my preferred method. Another one is using mnemonics such as Tt*hiwwUR (sing “Twinkle, twinkle, little star”…) but it’s tough to come up with a whole grundle of these.

Whatever the case, you owe it to yourself to use strong passwords wherever your identity or your data is at risk. The recent massive hack at Sony is a perfect example of why (even though this may have been an inside job, which would render any company vulnerable.)

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Why tipping is a bad idea.

This will be a short post, with a good video to watch.

I’ve written before about why tipping is not optional. The video below addresses that, but provides a good overview of why the example provided by Bar Marco – banning tipping and paying their servers a living wage – is a good idea, and should be the wave of the future. Mind you, Bar Marco is not the first – Sushi Yasuda started the practice in 2013. It is my hope that the entire industry is ultimately going to follow suit.

I love eating out, and if prices go up a bit to make this happen, as far as I’m concerned, it’s well worth it.

The video is below. It’s from College Humor, so there’s a bit of language in it – but I recommend this short film to anyone who enjoys dining out.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Der German is Gebroken

I’ve written about making fun of the German language before, which included references to Fraulein Bo-peepen And More Tales Mein Grossfader Told, by Dave Morrah, and John Hulme’s Mörder Guss Reims – the Gustav Leberwurst Manuscript, but recently while scanning papers from my mother’s estate, and she has a lot of them, including things her own mother collected, I ran across a few previously unseen gems.

Before we go on, remember that a working knowledge of German was necessary for a serious study of organic chemistry in days gone by; Beilstein’s Handbuch der organischen Chemie was the seminal reference book, so famous that Isaac Asimov wrote a story using the book and the author’s name as its central conceit (“What’s in a Name”).

The following material was found in Newscripts, a column that ran in “Chemical and Engineering News”

Once upon a time, the requirements for a degree in chemistry included reasonable competence in a foreign language. A jocular essay in fractured German in those days could be counted on to convulse a chemical audience. Two such yarns that appeared during 1952 were” Der Franklin und sein Keit” (April 28) and “Der Volta und seine Peils” (June 2). Language skills were declining even then, however, and Newscripts noted only five years later that “To keep up with rapid advances in technology … scientists have had to develop new terms-and also ways of translating these terms into foreign languages. An up-to-date English-German glossary … includes:

Guidance system: Das Schteerenwerke.
“Preset guidance: Das senden offen mit ein pattenbacker und finger gekrossen Schteerenwerke.
“Warhead: Das Laudenboomer.
“Nuclear warhead: Das eargeschplitten Laudenboomer.
“Project engineer: Das Schwettenoudter.” (Sept. 9, 1957)

The following stories should be read aloud in a heavy Colonel Klink accent for best effect:

Der Franklin und sein Keit

(Originally printed, we are told, in the Journal of the Electrochemical Society, some 30 years ago)

Der Franklin der war ein rechter Tschinius, immer bissig mit Inwentschiuns, wie zum Beispiel sein Stohf, den wir bis heute noch bei seinen Namen kennen. “Bei Galli”-so meinte er eines Tages-“es ist doch e’ Skandel und e’ Schem, dass so viele Häuser von Leitning gestreikt werden. Wenn ich das prewenten könnte, es wäre schur eine kühle Million wert. Aber was ist denn eigentlich der Leitning? Ennihau, ich habe e’ Honntsch!”

Also baute er ein Keit, mit einer langen String mit e’ Kieh am Ende, und geht in die Beckjahrt, ihn zu fleihen. Und wenn es zu regnen anfängt, und der Leitning flescht, so steckte er e’ Knockel an den Kieh; un achherrjesses! der Spark rippt ihm zwei Fingernehls und e’ Viertelskwerrfuss Skinn von der Hand ab; und der Franklin weiss nun, von dem Schock, dass Leitning und Electrozität alleik sind.

Sodann steigt er auf die Ruf mit e’ Bumberschuht mit e’ stiehl Händel, und wartet für mehr Leitning; aber die Deborah – das war sein Frau – die hollert, das Sopper sei rettig, und er soll Hörriopp machen und aufwaschen und ins Haus kommen. Also machte er den Bumberschuht an den Daunspaut fest – und das war der erste Leitningrad.

Der Franklin war lockig und so lebte er noch vierzig Jahre, und hatte alle gestumpft-besonders die Lehdis; aber ein russicher Physiker, der den Keitexperiment repieten wollte, wure vom Leitning gekillt;-was alles pruhft, der wahre Scientist hat nicht senns genug, vom Rehn auszukiepen.

– Sol Nemen

Der Volta und seine Peils

Die Studenten in der Universitaet zu Pavia waren Holitaerrers,—die Strietlemps haben sie am Halloween gebostet und die Garbetschkenns gedommpt—und sieben Mal in einer Nacht haben sie dem Prof. Alessandro Volta den Dorrnacker geklappert. Da hat der gute Doktor doch endlich ein Fiuss gebloht. “Nun ist doch mein Limit gerietscht” fuhmt er, “elende Lohfers, euch will ich fixen!”

Und so denkt er nun, wenn andere mit blos zwei Metallstuecke Froschschenkel twitschen machen konnten, was wuerde er nicht selbst mit e’ Koppel hundert Metallpaare akkomplischen! Also nimmt er e’ silber Bock, un e’ Zinkwascher, und e’ Stueck Blattingpapier das er erst in Salzwasser gedunkt hat, un noch e’ Bock, und wieder e’ Zink, und so an, bis er ein Peil von eibettju ennihau 300 Volts hat. Dann hitscht er ein Ende des Peils mit e’ Weier an den Dorrnacker, un graundet das andere Ende, und ohboi! der naechste Bursche, der den Nacker retteln will, wird selbst fuer e’ Lup genackt.

Der Volta reported sein Socksess an dei Royal Society in London, und bald haben die Scientists in allen Laendern auch Peils, – noch viel groesser wie Voltas – und fangen an, Leute zu schocken, und zu elektroleisen, un sogar zu plehten, wie niemand sein Bissness. In Poland gab es zwei Professore, die hatten e’ Brehnsturm und haben die Weiers von der Batterie getehstet! Der erste insistet, es schmeckte sauer, der zweite meint nein, mehr wie Seife; der erste sagt, “Mein Meind is aufgemacht, es ist doch so”; der andere sagt “Balloni!”; und so kommt es, dass noch heute an jeder Batterie e’ positiver Pol und e’ negativer Pol ist.

Volta wurde fuer seine Arbeit von Napoleon geonnert, und seine Stadt hat ihn Praeseident fuer Lief von der Pavianerhalloweenneusundhellrehsungsverhinderungsgesellschafft gemacht. Zwar haben die Buben nie wieder mit seinem Dorrknacker gemonnkieht, doch schon am naechsten Halloween haben sie sien Beckhaus getippt und einen sehr toten Skonk durch sein Fenster gehieft. Und so haben ihm seine Peils am Ende doch viel Trubel gemacht.

I’ve mentioned playing around with French and Latin previously; stay tuned for a little fun with italian, soon to come.

Der Old Wolf hat gespoken.

Global Travel Network in Salt Lake City: Avoid these ripsters like the plague.

global 2

Around December 20th, I entered a drawing for a $2,500 mall shopping spree. Of course, I didn’t win – but what I got was a call from representatives at “Rewards Fulfillment,” letting me know “we had been selected” to receive a “luxury vacation.”

Well, I’ve written about this kind of scam before. This time, it was Global Travel Network. They called me, told me “I had been selected based on my demographic profile,” and all I had to do was go up to Salt Lake for a presentation and to collect my prize.

The musicians have changed, but the music remains the same.

I told them I was not interested, and why. Thank you for calling. Goodbye.

Were we done? Not by a long shot. These people or their contractors called me back five times more, each one giving the same spiel, and each one being given the same information from me: 1) I’m not interested. 2) This is the [n]th time I’ve been called. 3) please remove me from your database.

Today I got a call from a lady who acknowledged that I had told previous agents that I wasn’t interested. She launched into a sales pitch, saying she was from quality control and her job was to make sure that her agents were doing their job right. I explained to her Rule No. 1 of sales: “Never try to sell to someone who isn’t going to buy.” Yet she rattled on for 15 minutes, trying to get me to come in for a presentation that I wasn’t interested in (I was just waiting for a car to be repaired and had nothing else to do at the moment.) They must get paid based on how many people they sign up.

Talk about relentless and disrespectful. This outtfit is worse than a rogue debt collector, and there seems to be no way to get them to stop calling. Each call, for what it’s worth, has come from a different phone number.

Here are a couple of horror stories about Global Travel Network: This one and this one.

An investigative report from 9News in Denver give you a good look at how the scam works – apparently Global Travel Network is behind this as well, but in Denver they were representing themselves as Global Connections, and hijacking that company’s BBB rating. Nice and honest, huh? Global Travel Network is not accredited with the BBB; have a look at what the Better Business Bureau has to say about them as of 1/12/2015:

This company has a pattern of complaints alleging misrepresentation during initial contact with the representative as consumers allege being offered several different incentives for attending a presentation such as gas cards, cruises, round-trip airfare, free vacations, etc. with promise that nothing will be required out of pocket and there are no black-out dates or restrictions. Once consumers receive said incentives or attempt to book their vacation they find that what was initially promised to them is not what has been received. There are additional fees required or difficulty booking the vacation.

While the business has responded to the BBB’s concerns and stated all terms and conditions of the offers are disclosed and that additional training has been set in place to ensure that this no longer occurs, BBB has continued to receive complaints with the same underlying issue.

This is an excellent report, and worth watching and reading both. They give you an idea of how deep this deceptive pool of slime goes.

After having the police called on them, here’s the response 9News got from Global Travel Network:

Global

Would you do business with this company? Don’t.

The Old Wolf has spoken.