Snake Oil from the 1890s

Posted on February 10, 2019 by The Old Wolf

I saw this today over at Teresa’s Frog Applause strip, and thought I’d share it just because I found it fascinating.

Phytolacca Decandra, if you were not sure, is pokeweed – a toxic plant with no known legitimate medical uses and a host of applications in folk medicine.

It’s poisonous. That’s all I need to know about it. Unlike the fugu (puffer fish of Japan) which is supposedly delicious if prepared properly and fatal if not, this stuff really has no compelling reason to eat it unless one were starving, much like the pioneers in Utah who survived on sego lily bulbs after their arrival in the Great Salt Lake basin. It did keep them alive, but I’ve never been tempted to try them.

As I mentioned in earlier articles, thanks to cable television and the internet, there seems to be a new “hot” thing every year or so, hawked by the likes of Dr. Oz and a horde of affiliate marketers – green coffee extract, garcinia cambogia, exogenous ketones, chitosan, bromelain, coral calcium, the list is endless.

Take a pass on any remedy that claims to allow you to lose weight effortlessly. Just don’t waste your money. None of them work. It’s a sad fact that most of us love to eat, that the most comforting foods are high-density carbohydrates (often cooked in delicious, satiating fat), and that pounds are frightfully easy to put on and frightfully hard to take off. The only way to release weight consistently is to live with a caloric deficit, even a slight one. Eat a healthier, more balanced diet, burn more than you eat (exercise helps in a lot of different ways, but pushaways are the best dinner-table exercise you can do), and you will drop pounds.

Stay away from the snake oil.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Affiliate Marketing – How many lies can they cram in?

Posted on February 9, 2019 by The Old Wolf

I’ve written before about affiliate marketing, and what a plague it is on the internet. I just had a tab pop up on my browser – despite two ad-blockers being active – and I thought I’d share an image or two.

Health experts recommend losing between 1-2 pounds a week for healthy weight release. This claim amounts to close to 1 lb per day. Ain’t gonna happen, unless you’re eating 500 calories per day and burning 3,500. In addition, this claim is not backed by Fox News (as disreputable as they may be in other areas), the NY Times, Today, Oprah, Style Watch, or Redbook.

This is not going to happen in 22 days. Look, children, this is what we call “a lie.”

Limited time only: Lie
Only 4 Bottles Still Available: Lie
40% discount: Negated at the purchase page.
Offer ends Today: Lie

Countdown timer at the bottom of the page: Another Lie.

Let’s look at the purchase page:

This page claims to send you free bottles: Lie
Only 241 promotions left: Lie
Endorsements: Lie
Lose weight without exercising: Lie

So if you want that free product and provide your information (which, by the way, will be sold to every marketer with two coppers to rub together), you get this:

Oh look, you’re being charged $59.95. That’s not free, nor is it the 40% discount promised on a previous page. And if you don’t notice that the 6-bottle option is checked, the charge on your credit card is going to be horrendous.

But wait, there’s more!

Buried deep on the purchase page in light gray print is the link to “terms and conditions,” which very few people will bother to read. If they do, they’ll find a wall of text, which includes these hidden gems (there’s a lot more of it)

Terms
SCOPE & APPLICATION
1.1 You expressly agree and accept the Conditions set forth herein unconditionally as a binding contract (“the Agreement”) enforceable by law… (How well this load of BS would stand up in court is an open question)
PRODUCT AND BILLING
2.1 All product purchases made from this website are required to be paid in full. For more information about our products, please visit http://www.ketopurediet.com.
2.1.1. The prices for the products are as follows: $199.99 or $28.57 each for the 7 bottle package;$149.95 or $29.99 each for the 5 bottle package; $99.99 or $33.33 each for the 3 bottle package and $69.99 each for the 1 bottle package, plus $7.95 shipping and handling. Shipping and handling is non-refundable.
2.2 You authorize us to initiate a one-time charge to your credit card as indicated upon your purchase. (So, not free at all)
This next one is a real treasure:
16.7 I also acknowledge that I understand that by placing my order of Keto Pure Diet, I am automatically enrolled in the Keto Pure Diet health community program. I further acknowledge that I understand that my membership in Keto Pure Diet is included in my product purchase, that my complementary membership will remain active for as long as I remain an active custom of Keto Pure Diet, and that once I am no longer an active customer of Keto Pure Diet the membership dues shall, at my option, become my responsibility. I hereby grant authorization for the monthly membership dues to be charged to the credit card or debit card used to complete the purchase of Keto Pure Diet. I further acknowledge, agree to, and accept the Keto Pure Diet Privacy Policy, the Keto Pure Diet Website Use Terms and Conditions, the Keto Pure Diet Terms and Conditions, and the Keto Pure Diet Health Coin Terms and Conditions. I acknowledge that I understand that my Keto Pure Diet my Keto Pure Diet membership can be canceled at anytime by calling 1-888-628-6284, by emailing support@ketopurediet.com. Your Keto Pure Diet membership entitles you and your household dependents to consultation fee free calls with licensed doctors 24-hours per day, 365-days per year, as well as access to thousands of dentists with typical savings of 50% off regular bills, vision care savings, and prescription savings at most pharmacies in the US. To learn more value to the included Keto Pure Diet program, go to http://www.ketopurediet.com, and look for emails explaining the programs and services included in the membership.
Notice that if you stop ordering this product, you have just given permission for monthly dues to some worthless program to be charged to your credit card, and nothing is ever said about how much those monthly dues are until you’ve bitten the hook.

There’s a lot more legal noise in those terms and conditions, which mostly assure you that the company has all rights and that you have very few.

But what about the product itself? Is it any good? will it work? Wow, it’s so easy:

The ketogenic diet has been around for a long time. There is a massive body of information out there about it, some positive and some negative. While the marketeers would have you believe that exogenous ketones (i.e. the stuff that comes from outside your body) can put you into a state of ketosis in minutes, that’s highly debatable. So if you want to release weight with a ketogenic diet, follow step 2 above (but be sure to consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any program of this nature.) Step 1 can be safely replaced with:

Singing opera 10 minutes a day
Painting with Bob Ross
Learning to speak Turkish
Taking homeopathic weight loss drops
Not taking homeopathic weight loss drops
Standing on your head and spitting nickels
Anything
Nothing

… and you’ll get exactly the same results, whatever those are.

The Internet is awash with pages like this, because most affiliate marketers will say absolutely anything to get you to buy the product, for which sale they get a commission. And most affiliate marketers have the ethics of an angry honey badger.

Don’t be taken in by “offers” like this from sleazy, irresponsible salespeople. Stay away from any product that claims to help you lose weight fast.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Don’t waste your money on this garbage.

Posted on July 5, 2017 by The Old Wolf

Every time I see a new scam for weight loss, I shed a tear for the people who are taken in. But when I see major retailers pushing snake oil, the tears dry up and are replaced with fiery heat under my collar.

Saw this at Walmart the other day – absolutely nothing new here, they’ve been doing this for a long time, but this is the latest example.

Scam 3

There’s no excuse for this. It’s taking advantage of people who are trying to release weight, selling them something that is just as valuable as the gravel in their driveways.

There is no magic bullet.

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away: “Kelli used C. canephora robusta with diet and exercise and has been remunerated. Average weight loss with C. canephora robusta was 10.95 lbs in 60 days with a low-calorie diet and 3.7 lbs in 8 weeks with a calorie-reduced diet and moderate exercise.”

Scam 0

Do you happen to detect a trend here? As I mentioned in an earlier post, reducing caloric intake and increasing caloric consumption (i.e. exercise) will cause you to release weight even if you:

Take HydroxyCut
take homeopathic drops
sing an aria from “Aida”
stand on your head and spit nickels, or
eat a spoonful of Portland cement with each meal.

If you weren’t sure, C. canephora robusta is also known as “robusta coffee,” a cousin to arabica coffee, and is often used in espresso because of its stronger flavor and increased bitterness.

Coffee. Trying to recycle the “green coffee extract” scam. Let’s look at all the ingredients:

Scam1

You can see that what you’re getting is basically caffeine and some other random herbs. And for weight release, it’s junk. It doesn’t work. And they know it.

To release weight, eat less and/or exercise more, preferably both. If you set up a consistent caloric deficit, you’ll gradually release weight in a healthy way (unless you really have a medical condition preventing it, in which case see your physician.) Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard; as I saw posted by a Facebook friend just today:

And that’s another conversation. But don’t waste your money at Walmart or elsewhere on this worthless garbage.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Weight-loss fraud – still a multibillion dollar industry

Posted on June 24, 2017 by The Old Wolf

With all the good food to eat in the world, compounded by reality shows about celebrity chefs and such things, it’s easy as pie to gain weight. (I see what I did there.) But getting it off is another matter.

Which is why the weight loss industry, including its concomitant multilevel marketing products, homeopathic remedies, and outright fraudulent garbage, is big business. Despite FTC actions trying to shut down fraudulent operators, everyone wants a slice of that pie, and in the wild-west environment of the Internet, it’s not hard to wet one’s beak.

I’ve written about fraudulent health products before, and I’m not likely to stop – as long as the scumbags are out there trying to get your money. People still want to lose weight, people are still looking for that “magic bullet” that will allow them to drop 8 dress sizes before their next reunion without any effort – like eating less food and exercising more – and the Internet is the perfect place for affiliate marketing cockroaches to lay their deceptive eggs.

Case in point – today, an ad seen on my mobile phone where I don’t have ad-blocking technology installed, otherwise I’d be very unlikely to see things like this at all:

Garcinia 5

I went down the rabbit hole just to see who was offering what, and how the scam was presented:

Garcinia 0

One Google search later and I had come up with a Snopes article from April 2017 relating to the same “report,” which never appeared on CNN and which was full of false and misleading claims.

Garbage like this is peddled by affiliate marketers, who will say anything and do anything to get your money and keep it. So clicking on that little ad took me to a page with one of those automatically-generated alphabet-soup URLs: http://purelytwinsblog.com/fitness/indexgg.php?gclid=CJ-Zl8qt19QCFQuSaQodmWUKsg, full of another whole raft of lies, misinformation and general bull pucky. The “limited time” info is, of course, today’s date. Hurry, supplies are limited [scarcity principle working there, folks.]

Garcinia1

If you want a free sample, you get taken to one of any number of affiliate web sites, one of which is seen below:

Garcinia 2.jp

Look how many “other people” are looking at this page right now! You may lose out! Hurry!

And here’s where you pay your slight fee for shipping, conveniently discounted.

Garcinia 4

Simple, right? but at the bottom of that page is a link that says “Terms,” and by all that’s holy you had better read every word (I’ve replicated the entire agreement at the end of this entry, just for your reference. This document kept an attorney busy for quite a while.

Points of interest:

Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. [That’s one hell of an expensive “free trial.”BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.
These “negative option” agreements are sleazy and unethical in my book. You should stay away from any company that tries to rope you in to one. A lot of people will not read these terms and conditions, and as a result may never get their money back, but if they click the “rush my sample” button, or whatever it says, they are certifying that they have done so.
It will be very difficult for you to get a refund, and the “customer service agents” are very well-trained at deflecting requests for refunds.
You cannot sue for damages – you agree to binding arbitration.
You may not join a class-action suit against these people.

Be very, very careful out there. A huge percentage of ads you see on the Internet lead to websites just like this one, full of outright lies and deception. There’s only one way to lose weight, and that’s with a caloric deficit [eat less food and exercise more]. You should not be losing more than 1-2 pounds per week for a healthy weight release. There is no magic bullet or miracle pill, or substance, or liquid, or gel, or wrap, or anything. There’s just not.

The Old Wolf has Spoken.

Full Terms and Conditions Text

Terms and Conditions and Refund Policy

TERMS & CONDITIONS

LAST UPDATED: January 19, 2016

Contact Details

Contact customer service for any reason at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Member User Agreement

You must read and agree to these Terms and Conditions before placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. By placing Your order for the 14 day Trial Offer of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia You agree to be bound by the following Terms and Conditions:

ATTENTION: This is a binding agreement between You, the person or entity agreeing to the terms contained in this document (I, You, Your or Customer), and Novel Health LLC, the makers of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, and the owner and administrator of this Website and all content and functionality contained herein (Our, Us, or Company) (collectively, the Parties or We). These terms and conditions, as well as any additional terms, conditions and covenants referenced in or made available by hyperlink in this document (collectively, these Terms, Terms of Use or this Agreement), govern Your use of and access to this Website and any and all of its sub-pages (collectively, the Website).

ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS OF USE: By using, visiting, or browsing the Website, as well as placing an order with Novel Health, LLC through the Website or customer service center, You accept, without limitation or qualification, these Terms of Use and agree, without limitation, to the terms of Our Privacy Statement. If You do not agree to be bound by these Terms of Use and Privacy Statement, You should exit the Website immediately. By accessing, using or ordering products through the Website, You affirm that You have read this Agreement and understand, agree, and consent to all Terms contained herein.

These Terms of Use constitute the entire agreement between Novel Health, LLC and You, and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous agreements, representations, warranties, and understandings with respect to the Website, the content, products, or services provided by or through the Website, and the subject matter of these Terms of Use. This Agreement is intended to be governed by the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Commerce Act. You manifest Your agreement to the Terms in this document by any act demonstrating Your assent thereto, including clicking any button containing the words I Agree; Rush My Order; Submit or similar syntax, or by merely accessing the Website, whether You have read these terms or not. It is suggested that You print this form for Your personal records.

You further agree not to use or access the Website if doing so would violate the laws of Your state, province or country. At the bottom of this page appears a last modified date. If the last modified date remains unchanged, then You may presume that no changes have been made since the last modified date. A changed last modified dates indicates that this document has been updated or edited, and the updated or edited version supersedes any prior versions immediately upon posting.

Product Disclaimer: I understand the statements regarding these products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

I understand the information on this Web site or in emails is designed for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care.

I understand I should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting my doctor. I also understand that Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not intended or to be used to treat any type of medical condition.

WARNING: Not intended for use by persons under 18 years of age. Consult a physician before using this product if You have any medical condition including, but not limited to, strokes, high blood pressure, heart, liver, kidney or thyroid disease, diabetes, anemia, depression, anxiety, other psychiatric conditions, a family history of these or other medical conditions, or if taking any prescription, OTC and/or other herbal medications.

“Purchase Option” Specific Terms and Conditions:

Please note that we offer our customers two different options for purchasing our products.

Option #1 is a one-time purchase option whereby you would pay a one time charge for a specific amount of product. You would be charged immediately for your purchase and your product would be shipped within 24 hours. Additionally; you would never receive any future shipments from us, nor be charged ever again unless you contact us to place another order.

Option #2 is a 14 Day Trial Offer purchase option whereby you would pay a small shipping and handling fee immediately for a full 1 month supply. The 14 Day trial offer allows you to defer payment of the product for 14 days while you try the product, and is followed by future shipments and charges for additional products until you cancel your subscription.

In depth details of these 2 options are provided below.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia One-Time Purchase Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your One-Time Purchase of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia you automatically accept the following terms and conditions.

We are confident you will see the benefits of using our Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Product. You are taking the next step toward a more fit & healthy you!

Upon concluding your purchase, the credit card you provide will be charged a One-time fee equivalent to the price as quoted related to the package you select. You will always be quoted a complete price inclusive of the product, shipping & handling — and this is the charge that will appear on your credit card. You will only ever be charged the quoted purchase price this one time, and you will never receive any future product or charges from us.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you for any reason, simply call us within 30 days from the order date to make arrangements for the return the product and our customer service team will provide you with an RMA number and instructions. Please note that bottles must be unopened with the product safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund. Also, please note that there may be a restocking fee as detailed below in the “Refund Policy” section that is applicable for all returns.

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 14 day Trial Offer Terms and Conditions:

Please take a few minutes to read the following, as by concluding your purchase of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Trial Offer you automatically accept the following terms and conditions. Please note that this is NOT a risk-free trial offer, since you will be charged for Shipping & Handling at the time of purchase, and may be charged a retention fee of $9.95 if you decide to cancel within the trial period and not return the product.

Upon signing up for your trial offer, the credit card you provide will be charged a Shipping & Handling fee of $4.97 and you will be shipped a 1 month supply of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. If you contact customer service to terminate your trial within 14 days of the date that you enroll in the Program, you will have the option of either returning the remaining balance of unused product and pay no fee, or keep the remaining unused product and pay a $9.95 retention fee. Either way, you will receive no further shipments and will not be billed again.

If you do not cancel your trial within the 14 day trial period, you will be billed $94.19 for the product. Additionally, you will be automatically enrolled in our auto-shipment and auto-billing program which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends at the low price of $94.19 per month. Thus, if you do not cancel your subscription, you will be billed $94.19 for your original product 14 days after the original order date, and then billed again $94.19 for a new shipment of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia 44 days after your original purchase date. You will be automatically billed and shipped a new product every 30 days until you cancel your subscription. As a bonus for remaining in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, all shipping and handling fees will be waived and you will only pay the product price of $94.19 per month.

If you feel Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia is not for you, call us at 1-888-564-3218 to cancel within 14 days from the order date to avoid the purchase price of $94.19 and enrollment in the auto-shipment and auto-billing program, which charges you for a 1 month supply every 30 days starting 30 days after your trial period ends, at the low price of $94.19 per month.

PLEASE NOTE:

There is no obligation to continue in any of our programs, and you can cancel at any time by simply contacting a Customer Service Representative at 1-888-564-3218. Your enrollment date is the date that you submit your order for the trial of the product. Orders are shipped within 24 hours Mon.- Saturday, excluding Sundays and USPS holidays in which case your order will be shipped the morning of the next business day. Orders are shipped via USPS First Class Mail with tracking, and actual delivery time of your order will vary by region.

You can cancel your membership in our auto-shipment program and avoid further Monthly Charges at any time by contacting customer service at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

Please note results may vary, but with continuous use of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia, we are confident you will see the results you are trying to achieve.

By proceeding with your purchase, you acknowledge and agree that Novel Health, LLC will not obtain additional authorization from you for each future installment of the $94.19 auto-ship program that will be charged to the credit card you provided initially. You agree that as part of the auto-shipment program, Novel Health will ship a new supply every month, and you will be responsible for returning any unused and unopened product in order to receive a refund. In addition, you do not hold Novel Health, LLC responsible for any overdraft charges or fees which you might incur during the ongoing auto-ship program Membership.

All fees are payable in United States currency. For so long as your Membership is active, you will be billed, and you will be required to pay, all applicable charges. Failure to use the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products does not constitute a basis for refusing to pay any of the associated charges. Subject to the conditions set forth herein, you agree to be bound by the Billing Provisions of Novel Health, LLC in effect at any given time. Upon reasonable prior written notice to you (with e-mail sufficing), Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to change its Billing Provisions whenever necessary, in its sole discretion. Continued use of the Site and/or receipt of the Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia Products after receipt of such notice shall constitute consent to any and all such changes; provided, however, that any amendment or modification to the Billing Provisions shall not apply to any charges incurred prior to the applicable amendment or modification.

Novel Health, LLC authorization to provide and bill for the Novel Health, LLC Products is obtained by way of your electronic signature or, where applicable, via physical signature and/or voice affirmation. Once an electronic signature is submitted, this electronic order constitutes an electronic letter of agency. Novel Health, LLCs’ reliance upon your electronic signature was specifically sanctioned and written into law when the Uniform Electronic Transactions Act and the Electronic Signatures in Global and National Transactions Act were enacted in 1999 and 2000, respectively. Both laws specifically preempt all state laws that recognize only paper and handwritten signatures. Where you fail to make any auto-ship program payments, such overdue amounts will be subject to your account being deactivated, in which case no further product will be shipped to you and access to the Membership site will be denied, for non-payment.

Shipping Terms

Upon confirming your order you will be shipped one jar of Ultra-Premium Garcinia Cambogia. Orders are shipped within 24 hours (Monday through Saturday) using our standard USPS First Class shipping method and delivery generally takes as little as 2 to 4 days depending on your geographic location. Please be advised that shipments are not sent on Sundays or any USPS Holidays. Novel Health, LLC does not guarantee specific arrival dates or times.

PLEASE CONTACT CUSTOMER CARE AT 1-888-564-3218 FOR SHIPMENTS NOT RECEIVED WITHIN 5 DAYS. REFUNDS WILL NOT BE ISSUED FOR SHIPMENTS CLAIMED AS UNDELIVERED IF NOT REPORTED WITHIN 14 DAYS. When an incorrect or invalid shipping address is provided at time of order, and Safe Secure Ship has not been purchased, the reshipment will be subject to the retail shipping and handling charge of $12.95(USD).

Contacting Customer Service: You may contact our customer care department at 1-888-564-3218. Customer service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with the exception of all major holidays.

IMPORTANT…

1) Please do not return any product to us without first obtaining an RMA number from customer service.

2) If you do not receive your shipment within 5 working days from the date you placed your order, please contact us immediately so we can address the situation appropriately.

Return Address:

Ultra-Premium Garcinia Returns
120 East 8th Street, #301
Los Angeles, CA 90014
USA

Refund Policy

If cancelling before the end of the trial, you must either return balance of product or pay retention fee of $9.95 per product to keep the products and cancel your trial. No retention/restocking fee is charged if product is cancelled and an RMA is issued during trial the period. Please note: In order to avoid the retention fee, the trial must be cancelled and an RMA issued before the end of the trial period. The product then needs to be returned within 30 days of issuing the RMA to avoid the retention fee. For Unopened Non-Trial products (either subscription or straight sale), you can return products for 30 days after purchase date, with a $9.95 restocking fee. Product must be unopened to be returned.

Return Address : Ultra-Premium Garcinia, 120 East 8 th St. #301, Los Angeles, CA 90014

Phone: 888-564-3218

PLEASE NOTE:

1. We refund all cases of fraud and unauthorized transactions inclusive of all shipping and handling charges. Additional refunds are issued at the discretion of the company. Please contact directly at 1-888-564-3218 if you suspect any fraud or unauthorized transactions may have taken place.

2. We reserve the right to replace any damaged products in lieu of refunding them at the discretion of the company.

3. In instances where a refund is warranted and agreed to by the company, customers are restricted to receiving a single refund per product ordered. Multiple refunds for purchases processed in multiple months are not permitted – i.e. We will only consider refunding the most recent months transaction and never multiple past months.

4. We reserve the right to refuse a refund to any customer who repeatedly requests refunds or who, in our judgment, requests refunds in bad faith.

5. In order to request a refund, you must contact Our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218. IN ORDER TO PROCESS A REFUND, ALL RETURNS MUST BE PRE-APPROVED AND ASSIGNED A RETURN MERCHANDISE AUTHORIZATION (RMA) NUMBER. If a refund is warranted, you will be provided with an RMA number and instructions on how to proceed.

6. Once an RMA notice has been issued to you, you will automatically receive an RMA email confirmation and authorization.

7. In order for your refund to be processed, you must include your RMA number in your return package in large and legible print. All returns outside of the trial period are subject to a $9.95 restocking fee.

8. Products must be unopened with the safety seal intact in order to receive a full refund, less the $9.95 restocking fee.

9. We must receive the remaining product back to our fulfillment facility in good condition, and once it is received and the RMA number logged into our systems, a refund will automatically be processed and you will receive an email confirmation that your refund has been processed. Please note that refunds are issued immediately upon processing your return, however, depending on the bank that issued the credit card a refund can take up to thirty (30) days to appear on your credit card statement.

10. Shipping and handling costs are not refundable with the exception of fraud or unauthorized charges.

11. A $9.95 restocking fee is applicable for all returned orders outside of the trial period.

12. You are responsible for any costs incurred to package and safely return the product to our fulfillment facility.

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND, THE ITEM MUST MEET ALL OF THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:

Product must be unopened and unused with safety seal intact.

Customer has 30 days from the time of purchase to obtain an RMA number for unopened and unused product. After 30 days, the purchase is final and no returns are accepted.

Limit one (1) return per product, per household.

Return can only be made on most current product billing cycle NO EXCEPTIONS.

Return product must be returned to us within thirty (30) days for US orders and (45) days for International orders of the assigned Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA) number.

Customer is responsible for all return shipping costs.

Reversals and Chargebacks

We consider chargebacks and reversals as potential cases of fraudulent use of our services and/or theft of services and as such will be treated. We reserve the right of filing a complaint with the appropriate local and federal authorities to investigate. Be advised that all activity and IP address information is being monitored and that this information may be used in a civil and/or criminal case(s) against a client if there is fraudulent use and or theft of services. IN THE EVENT THAT A REVERSAL OR CHARGEBACK CLAIM IS FILED WITH THE CARDHOLDER™S BANK, REFUND REQUESTS WILL BE DENIED BY OUR RISK MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT TO PREVENT FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN MULTIPLE REFUNDS.

Credit Card Declines

In the event a credit card transaction declines, after product has been shipped or received, and you have not exercised your cancellation rights per the terms and conditions, we reserve the right to reprocess the transaction in full. This includes the right to resubmit the charge on or about every seven (7) days from the original declined transaction date and up to three (3) additional attempts thereafter. In the event of subsequent credit card declines, you authorize us to resubmit a reduced amount from one-half (1/2) or one-third (1/3) of the full purchase price until the full amount is obtained.

Contact Customer Care at 1-888-564-3218 if you have additional questions regarding credit card declines.

Damaged or Incorrect items

In the event that your order arrives damaged, or you receive the wrong item, please call our Customer Service Department at 1-888-564-3218 within 48 hours.

We ask that you do not dispose of any damaged products until you contact the Customer Service Department for instructions, as we may require the return of the damaged goods.

In the event of a damaged order, we will ship a replacement order promptly.

If you have ordered incorrectly, we will ship the correct item once we have received the return of the incorrect product.

All damaged orders must be reported within ten (10) business days of delivery.

Damaged orders not reported within ten (10) business days of delivery confirmation cannot be adjusted or credited.

NEGATIVE OPTION CLAUSE

BY PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE, I UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT THIS CONSUMER TRANSACTION INVOLVES A NEGATIVE OPTION, AND THAT I MAY BE LIABLE FOR PAYMENT OF FUTURE GOODS AND SERVICES UNDER THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT FOR $94.19 PER MONTH IF I FAIL TO NOTIFY THE SUPPLIER NOT TO SUPPLY THE GOODS OR SERVICES DESCRIBED.

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We each agree to finally settle all disputes (as defined and subject to any specific exceptions below) only by arbitration. In arbitration, there is no judge or jury and review is limited. However, just as a court would, the arbitrator must honor the terms and conditions in this Agreement, the Terms of Use, and the Privacy Statement, and can award the same damages and relief, including any attorney’s fees authorized by law. The arbitrator’s decision and award is final and binding, with some exceptions under the Federal Arbitration Act (FAA), and judgment on the award may be entered in any court with jurisdiction. We also each agree as follows:

Disputes are any claims (including the definition of claims contained in the section Limitation of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty above) or controversies against each other related in any way to this Agreement, the Terms of Use, the Privacy Statement, or Your purchase and use of the Product. This includes claims You bring against Our affiliates, officers, directors, shareholders, employees, independent contractors, telecommunications providers, or agents or other representatives, or that Novel Health, LLC brings against You.

If either Novel Health, LLC or You wants to arbitrate a dispute, We each agree to send written notice to the other providing a description of the dispute, previous efforts to resolve the dispute, all supporting documents/information, and the proposed resolution. Notice to You will be sent to Your billing address that You provided Us and notice to Us will be sent to: Novel Health, LLC, 1623 Central Ave, Suite 201, Cheyenne, WY 82001, USA. We each agree to make attempts to resolve this dispute within forty-five (45) days of receipt of the notice to arbitrate, then We may submit the dispute to formal arbitration.

The FAA applies to this Agreement and arbitration provision. We each agree that the FAA™s provisions, not state law, govern all questions of whether a dispute is subject to arbitration.

The arbitration will be administered by the National Arbitration Forum (NAF) under its arbitration rules. If any NAF rule conflicts with the terms of this Agreement, the terms of this Agreement apply. You can obtain procedures, rules, and fee information from the NAF at 1-800-474-2371 or http://www.adrforum.com.

Unless We each agree otherwise, the Arbitration will be conducted by a single neutral arbitrator and will take place in the state of Your last billing address. The federal or state law that applies to the Agreement will also apply during the Arbitration.

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We each are responsible for our own costs relating to counsel, experts, and witnesses, as well as any other costs relating to the arbitration. However, Novel Health, LLC will cover any arbitration administrative or filing fee above: (a) $25 if You are seeking less than $1,000 from Novel Health, LLC; or (b) the equivalent court filing fees for a court action in the appropriate jurisdiction if you are seeking $1,000 or more from us.

No Class Actions
TO THE EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, WE EACH WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO PURSUE DISPUTES ON A CONSOLIDATED OR CLASSWIDE BASIS; THATIS, TO EITHER JOIN A CLAIM WITH THE CLAIM OF ANY OTHER PERSION OR ENTITY, OR ASSERT A CLAIM IN A REPRESENTATIVE CAPACITYON BEHALF OF ANYONE ELSE IN ANY LAWSUIT, ARBITRATION, OR OTHER PROCEEDING.

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No waiver of or by Novel Health, LLC shall be deemed a waiver of any subsequent default of the same provision of this Agreement. If any term, clause or provision hereof is held invalid or unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction, such invalidity shall not affect the validity or operation of any other term, clause or provision and such invalid term, clause or provision shall be deemed to be severed from this Agreement.

HEADINGS

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COMPLETE AGREEMENT

This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties with respect to Your access and use of the Website and Your ordering and use of the Products, and supersedes and replaces all prior understandings or agreements, written or oral, regarding such subject matters.

MODIFICATIONS OF AGREEMENT

Novel Health, LLC reserves the right to change any of the provisions posted herein and You agree to review these terms and conditions each time You visit the Website. Your continued use of the Website following the posting of any changes to these terms and conditions constitutes Your acceptance of such changes. Novel Health, LLC does not and will not assume any obligation to provide You with notice of any change to this document. Unless accepted by Novel Health, LLC in writing, these terms and conditions may not be amended by You.

Rachael has now dropped sixteen dress sizes.

Posted on September 8, 2015 by The Old Wolf

I wage war against spam, affiliate marketers, snake oil and general pseudo-scientific bulldust.

In a previous post about worthless nutritional supplements, I posted three identical advertorials from the “Every Day with Rachael” website, which is nothing more than an affiliate marketing portal for hawking useless weight-loss nostrums.

Yesterday I got another one. I reproduce all four below:

Notice: each one of these advertorials is based on a boilerplate – they’re identical.

Here at Everyday Health and Wellness, they’re skeptical of Forskolin, Caralluma, Garcinia Cambogia, and Safflower Oil. As a result, “Rachael” has volunteered to be a guinea pig each time. She would now have lost 100 lbs and 16 dress sizes, meaning that her “before” pictures are all a load of bulldust. While I can’t be positive, odds are that “Rachael” does not even exist.

Are we beginning to smell the foul stench of deception here?

Playing In the World Game rates “Everyday Health and Wellness” as

“PANTS ON FIRE”

All of these products are basically worthless for weight release. They may have, in some way, benefits for some people, but there is no magic bullet, no magic pill that will let you lose weight without altering your caloric intake and exercise regime.

The affiliate marketers responsible for putting this spam into your inboxes, the manufacturers of these products, and everyone involved in trying to separate suckers from their money are soulless, immoral scammers. They will stop at nothing to get your money. Stay away from all products of this nature, or anything advertised in this manner.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Every day is April Fool’s in nutrition.

Posted on May 28, 2015 by The Old Wolf

“People who are desperate for reliable information face a bewildering array of diet guidance—salt is bad, salt is good, protein is good, protein is bad, fat is bad, fat is good—that changes like the weather. But science will figure it out, right? Now that we’re calling obesity an epidemic, funding will flow to the best scientists and all of this noise will die down, leaving us with clear answers to the causes and treatments.

Or maybe not.”

From a recent article at io9 by John Bohannon:

I Fooled Millions Into Thinking Chocolate Helps Weight Loss. Here’s How.

With a poorly-crafted study that used a small sample and ignored how big the measured results actually were, a team of journalists managed to punk the nutrition-news circuit into publishing their study.

“A team of German researchers had found that people on a low-carb diet lost weight 10 percent faster if they ate a chocolate bar every day. It made the front page of Bild, Europe’s largest daily newspaper, just beneath their update about the Germanwings crash. From there, it ricocheted around the internet and beyond, making news in more than 20 countries and half a dozen languages. It was discussed on television news shows. It appeared in glossy print, most recently in the June issue of Shape magazine.”

But it was all a crock of dung. And sadly, I can guarantee that many people will continue to believe the lie, simply because it appeared in journals as “prestigious” as Prevention, regardless of this exposé or any further evidence to the contrary. Like the entire anti-Vax movement, nothing can kill a good excuse for mouth-foaming outrage, not even repeatedly-confirmed facts.

Read the article. It’s worth your time, if you’re interested in having accurate information on which to base your decisions.

A big part of the problem with modern “scientific” studies is the concept of “p-value.” It’s more complex than most people care about, but William Rozeboom wrote, “The use of P values and null hypothesis testing is ‘surely the most bone-headedly misguided procedure ever institutionalized in the rote training of science students.’ “

P value calculations tell you only the probability of seeing a result at least as big as what you saw if there is no real effect. (In other words, the P value calculation assumes the null hypothesis is true.) A small P value — low probability of the data you measured — might mean the null hypothesis is wrong, or it might mean that you just saw some unusual data. You don’t know which. And if there is a real effect, your calculation of a P value is rendered meaningless, because that calculation assumed that there wasn’t a real effect.

(ScienceNews – “P value ban: small step for a journal, giant leap for science”)

And if Randall Munroe pillories something, you have a pretty good idea that there are legitimate questions about its validity.

The takeaway: don’t be excited just because one study says something, and I’ve written about this elsewhere. Look at the study, determine the size of the sample used, and see if you can ferret out how big the measured differences were. There’s a lot more digging you could do, but this is a good place to start.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Next “Miracle Weight Loss Herb” – Caralluma Fimbriata

Posted on December 15, 2014 by The Old Wolf

According to Wikipedia, caralluma ascendens, another name for caralluma fimbriata, is an edible form of cactus used throughout the Indian subcontinent as an appetite suppressant, or so-called “famine food.”

Leave it to the snake-oil hawkers to turn this into the next big thing they can make a few bucks on.

Got an email today from a “friend,” one whose email account or information had been compromised:

From: Redacted

To: store-news@amazon.com, ChaseNotification@emailonline.chase.com,

…snip… pmlncc@kkwl.ac.th, mrs.phillipjones@live.com

Subject: [Redacted]

Hi! How are you?

It works! http://nationalbranding.com/probably/dead.php

[Name Redacted]

These spoofed emails are so transparent at this point that I can smell the fraud before I even open them. But, in the interest of public service, I follow these links to see what new scam is being perpetrated on the general public.

Today’s bowl of steaming camel ejecta led me to a website hawking caralluma, the new New NEW weight-loss miracle.

This is the same kind of affiliate marketing effluence that I have described elsewhere (just do a search at this blog for garcinia cambogia, for example). Notice the tiny print below “ACT NOW!” that obligates you to a monthly $10.00 charge. But in the end, they’re less concerned with selling you their product as they are about getting your information which in the long run is much more valuable to them than a single sale.

Smell the foul rot of desperation as we proceed through the following screens:

The first come-on is BOGO. If we don’t fall for that, we get this:

Wait wait wait! OK, what now?

One of 50 customers, huh? Wow, I must really be special. But I guess I’m not really interested after all.

Wait wait wait! Wow, a free trial bottle, and the offer is good for only 10 minutes! Shall we look and see?

Now this is a wondrous thing. Instead of caralluma, I’ve been sent to a page to order garcinia cambogia. Looks like the affiliate marketer forgot to update his previous campaign.

More desperation.

Now the bottle is free, and I only have to pay 99¢ for shipping. But remember, I’m still providing my credit card information, and obligating myself to that $10.00 per month “subscription.” Once these drones have your financial information, they are in a position to bill you for anything they want, or sell your credit card and personal information to other scumsuckers.

It’s all garbage, poorly-crafted but sadly effective affiliate marketing for products that have little or no value, or worse, are actually detrimental to your health.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Forskolin – It sounds vaguely indecent.

Posted on October 10, 2014 by The Old Wolf

Just got this in my spam box today. It appears that Dr. Oz has now moved from hawking garcinia cambogia to this new garbage, Forskolin. The name sounds thoroughly unsavory for reasons I won’t go into here.

I found a great post over at Science Based Medicine that says many of the things I’d normally post here, so I’ll just refer you to that article, and other posts on the same website are worth reading as well. One good quote I will extract – all of these weight-loss nostrums

“…fit the same pattern: a small grain of plausibility, inadequate research, exaggerated claims, and commercial exploitation. There are always testimonials from people who lost weight, probably because their will to believe in the product encouraged them to try harder to eat less and exercise. But enthusiasms and fads don’t last. A year later, the same people are likely to be on a new bandwagon for a different product. Dr. Oz will never lack for new ideas to bolster his ratings. Enthusiasm for easy solutions and for the next new hope will never flag as long as humans remain human.”

In short, it’s all bulldust. But as network marketers will tell you, health and wellness is a trillion-dollar industry, and everyone is trying to get a slice of that pie. As one associate put it, that business is big enough that it would be sufficient to lick the knife that cut the pie. The sad part is, the pie is a lie. Most of what is hawked and marketed has little or no value. As I mentioned over here, if you want to release weight, eat less, eat better, and exercise more.

As a final note, a couple of rules of thumb regarding spam messages like the one above.

It’s a scam. Legitimate businesses don’t advertise using spam
Never click the link that says “unsubscribe.” You’ve just confirmed to these unethical dipweeds that your email address is real and active. It will be sold to other scumbags, and your level of spam will increase.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

To lose weight, take these drops (oh, and eat a 1200 calorie diet…)

Posted on September 3, 2014 by The Old Wolf

It’s not good medicine for a representative of one nutritional product to bash those who rep for another. In my world of ethics, it’s just not done. As a result, I won’t mention any product names in this post, but I want to make a general comment about the way many weight-loss products are advertised and hyped.

Below you’ll find an example, using a homeopathic product as the teacher in the moment, which claims to flush fat and toxins out of your body.

The product concerned contains a panoply of things like Nux Vomica, Ignatia Amara, and about 8 others at 6x and 12x dilutions; the instructions call for placing 10-15 drops under the tongue three times a day.

Oh, yes… and also to eat a 125o-calorie diet while using the products (which cost $150.00 for a bottle of each).

The science behind homeopathic dilutions guarantees that at dilutions of 6X and 12X, there is virtually *no* active ingredient whatsoever in this product – no molecules are left. The physics of Avogadro’s number is incontrovertible.

If you consider the instructions for use of this product, and completely eliminate any reference to the product being referenced, any patient who faithfully complies with these guidelines will have success with weight loss.

Given the average caloric intake of 2,000 KCal for a female, a 1250 calorie diet will result in consistent weight loss, especially when combined with water intake and regular exercise. This weight loss will occur whether or not the patient

* takes homeopathic drops
* sings an aria from “Aida”
* stands on her head and spits nickels, or
* eats a spoonful of portland cement with each meal.

If you are a person of science and reason, you owe it to yourself to take a hard look at the scientific reality of what is going on with homeopathic or other similar weight-loss products, instead of being dazzled by all the marketing weasel words.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Every Day with Rachael: Fraud, Spam, Scam

Posted on December 23, 2013 by The Old Wolf

“Every day” is about how often I get fraud-promoting spam from this outfit. Today’s offering:

Subject: Re: (8)

From: <k.gerth@ricona.de>

To: <redactedt>

Hi. http://i-t-s.co.jp/_259.choice.of.many_.html?qafyvenafa55636598

While spam is usually best ignored, I follow some of these so I can keep my readership (and those searching the Net) informed of the scumminess out there. I have posted before about fraudulent garcinia cambogia websites, and this is more of the same, but with an added scummy twist at the end.

So follow that alphabet-soup link (I’ve damaged it, so you can’t click on it and add to their rankings) and you get this:

The usual shill garbage, with a great video from the ever-present Dr. Oz, hawking the miraculous yadda yadda.

If you’re sucker enough to order, here’s what you get:

Pay attention to a couple of things here.

Notice that I have “selected” buy three, get two free. At a price of $31.80, that should be $95.40. But if you see where that arrow is pointing, you’ll notice that “Your Total” is $159.00… or $31.80 times five. So much for your two “free” bottles. Not to mention the usual retail baloney of “You Save $249.95” – and remember this garbage costs the manufacturer pennies to produce.
If this were not enough, have a look at that “Terms and Conditions” link in tiny, gray type at the bottom. If you click that, this is what you see (there’s a lot, so you can focus on the red text):

TERMS AND CONDITIONS

By placing an order through this website, you agree to the terms and conditions set for the below. Please read through these terms carefully before placing your order and print a copy for future reference. Please also read our Privacy Policy regarding personal information provided by you, which is incorporated herein by reference.

Health Disclaimer

Any statements on this site or any materials or supplements distributed or sold by this site has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. If you are pregnant, nursing, taking medication, or have a history of heart conditions we suggest consulting with a physician before using any of our products. The results on all products are not typical and not everyone will experience these results.

YourTrimTrainer Terms:

By ordering this product, you agree to be enrolled in YourTrimTrainer.com. Try it out for 30 days at no charge. After the trial expires, you agree that your card will be charged $9.47 for continued access to all of the tools, support and training YourTrimTrainer.com provides. Your monthly membership will recur at $9.47 every month from the time your trial expires until you cancel. You must call 855-978-6683 to cancel your monthly membership.

Return Policy:

In order to obtain your full refund, contact customer service by phone and obtain an RMA (Return Merchandise Authorization) number to place on your package. Write this number on the outside of the shipping package, and send the product back to our fulfillment center at the address listed below, within thirty (30) days of the date you originally ordered the product. In order for your full refund to be processed the product must arrive at our fulfillment facility within thirty (30) days of the original purchase date. You pay for return shipping. There is a $5.95 restocking fee per unit you are returning. This fee will be taken out of the refund issued. Once our fulfillment center has received the package and relayed the correct information to us, you will be issued a refund.Your refund will be credited back to your bank account, and may take up to 3-5 business days to show in your statement, depending on the speed of the processing bank.

Address the return package to:

Please call customer service for return address, so we can make notes on your account

TERMS OF SERVICE
This Terms of Service (“TOS”) is a legally binding agreement made by and between this site (“we” or “us”) and you, personally and, if applicable, on behalf of the entity for whom you are using this web site (collectively, “you”). This TOS governs your use of this web site (“Web Site”) and the services we offer on the Web Site (“Services”), so please read it carefully. BY ACCESSING OR USING ANY PART OF THE WEB SITE, YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE READ, UNDERSTAND AND AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THIS TOS. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO BE SO BOUND, DO NOT ACCESS OR USE THE WEB SITE.
INTERNET TECHNOLOGY AND THE APPLICABLE LAWS, RULES, AND REGULATIONS CHANGE FREQUENTLY. ACCORDINGLY, WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE CHANGES TO THIS TOS AT ANY TIME. YOUR CONTINUED USE OF THE WEB SITE CONSTITUTES ASSENT TO ANY NEW OR MODIFIED PROVISION OF THIS TOS THAT MAY BE POSTED ON THE WEB SITE.

1. Using the Web Site.
(a) Eligibility. Except as expressly provided below, Services may only be used by, and Membership is limited to, individuals who can form legally binding contracts under applicable law. Without limitation, minors are prohibited from becoming Members and, except as specifically provided below, using fee-based Services. Membership is defined by engaging in a purchase agreement with this site wherein you, the consumer purchase one of the products found on the Web Site.
(b) Compliance. You must comply with all of the terms and conditions of this TOS, the policies referred to below, and all applicable laws, regulations and rules when you use the Web Site.
(c) License and Restrictions. Subject to the terms and conditions of this TOS, you are hereby granted a limited, non-exclusive right to use the content and materials on the Web Site in the normal course of your use of the Web Site. You may not use any third party intellectual property without the express written permission of the applicable third party, except as permitted by law. The Website will retain ownership of its intellectual property rights and you may not obtain any rights therein by virtue of this TOS or otherwise, except as expressly set forth in this TOS. You will have no right to use, copy, display, perform, create derivative works from, distribute, have distributed, transmit or sublicense from materials or content available on the Web Site, except as expressly set forth in this TOS. You may not attempt to reverse engineer any of the technology used to provide the Services.
(d) Prohibited Conduct. In your use of the Web Site and the Services, you may not: (i) infringe any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, right of publicity or other right of any party; (ii) defame, abuse, harass, stalk any individual, or disrupt or interfere with the security or use of the Services, the Web Site or any web sites linked to the Web Site; (iii) interfere with or damage the Web Site or Services, including, without limitation, through the use of viruses, cancel bots, Trojan horses, harmful code, flood pings, denial of service attacks, packet or IP spoofing, forged routing or electronic mail address information or similar methods or technology; (iv) attempt to use another user’s account, impersonate another person or entity, misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity, including (without limitation) the Website or create or use a false identity; (v) attempt to obtain unauthorized access to the Web Site or portions of the Web Site that are restricted from general access; (vi) engage, directly or indirectly, in transmission of “spam,” chain letters, junk mail or any other type of unsolicited solicitation; (vii) collect, manually or through an automatic process, information about other users without their express consent or other information relating to the Web Site or the Services; (viii) use any meta tags or any other “hidden text” utilizing this site name, trademarks, or product names; (ix) advertise, offer to sell, or sell any goods or services, except as expressly permitted by the Website; (x) engage in any activity that interferes with any third party’s ability to use or enjoy the Web Site or Services; or (xi) assist any third party in engaging in any activity prohibited by this TOS.
(e) Other Users. If you become aware of any conduct that violates this TOS, We encourage you to contact Customer Service. We reserve the right, but will have no obligation, to respond to such communications.

2. Your Content.
(a) License. By posting, storing, or transmitting any content on or to the Website, you hereby grant us a perpetual, worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, sub-licensable, right and license to use, copy, display, perform, create derivative works from, distribute, have distributed, transmit and sublicense such content in any form, in all media now known or hereinafter created, anywhere in the world. You hereby irrevocably waive any claims based on moral rights or similar theories, if any.
(b) Objectionable Content. We do not have the ability to control the nature of the user-generated content offered through the Web Site. You are solely responsible for your interactions with other users of the Web Site and any content that you post. We will not be liable for any damage or harm resulting from any content or your interactions with other users of the Web Site. We reserve the right, but have no obligation, to monitor interactions between you and other users of the Web Site and take any other action to restrict access to or the availability of any material that we or another user of the Web Site may consider to be obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing or otherwise objectionable (including, without limitation, because it violates this TOS).

3. Accuracy of Information.
We attempt to ensure that the information on the Web Site is complete and accurate; however, this information may contain typographical errors, pricing errors, and other errors or inaccuracies. We assume no responsibility for such errors and omissions, and reserve the right to: (i) revoke any offer stated on the Web Site; (ii) correct any errors, inaccuracies or omissions; and (iii) make changes to prices, content, promotions, product descriptions or specifications, or other information on the Web Site.

4. Sales Tax.
If you purchase any products available on the Web Site (“Products”), you will be responsible for paying any applicable sales tax indicated on the Web Site.

5. Fraud.
We reserve the right, but undertake no obligation, to actively report and prosecute actual and suspected credit card fraud. We may, in our discretion, require further authorization from you such as a telephone confirmation of your order and other information. We reserve the right to cancel, delay, refuse to ship, or recall from the shipper any order if fraud is suspected. We capture certain information during the order process, including time, date, IP address, and other information that will be used to locate and identify individuals committing fraud. If any Web Site order is suspected to be fraudulent, we reserve the right, but undertake no obligation, to submit all records, with or without a subpoena, to all law enforcement agencies and to the credit card company for fraud investigation. We reserve the right to cooperate with authorities to prosecute offenders to the fullest extent of the law.

6. Intellectual Property Rights.
(a) Copyright. All materials on the Web Site, including without limitation, the logos, design, text, graphics, other files, and the selection and arrangement thereof are either owned by us or are the property of our suppliers or licensors or other companies. You may not use such materials without permission.
(b) Trademarks. This site has a trade name we own. The related design marks, and other trademarks on the Web Site are owned by us. Page headers, custom graphics, button icons and scripts are trademarks or trade dress we own. You may not use any of these trademarks, trade dress, or trade names without our express written permission.

7. Third Party Websites.
This site may contain links to other websites on the Internet that are owned and operated by third parties. We do not control the information, products or services available on these third party websites. The inclusion of any link does not imply our endorsement of the applicable website or any association with the website’s operators. Because we have no control over such websites and resources, you agree that we are not responsible or liable for the availability or the operation of such external websites, for any material located on or available from any such websites or for the protection of your data privacy by third parties. Any dealings with, or participation in promotions offered by, advertisers on the Website, including the payment and delivery of related goods or services, and any other terms, conditions, warranties or representations associated with such dealings or promotions, are solely between you and the applicable advertiser or other third party. You further agree that we shall not be responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage caused by the use of or reliance on any such material available on or through any such site or any such dealings or promotions.

8. Linking and Framing.
You may not deep link to portions of the Web Site, or frame, inline link, or similarly display any of our property, including, without limitation, the Web Site. You may not use any of our logos or other trademarks as part of a link without express written permission.

9. Comments.
All comments, feedback, suggestions, ideas, and other submissions that you disclose, submit or offer to us in connection with your use of the Web Site will become our exclusive property. Such disclosure, submission or offer of any Comments shall constitute an assignment to us of all worldwide right, title and interest in all patent, copyright, trademark, and all other intellectual property and other rights whatsoever in and to the Comments and a waiver of any claim based on moral rights, unfair competition, breach of implied contract, breach of confidentiality, and any other legal theory. You will, at our cost, execute any documents to affect, record, or perfect such assignment. Thus, we will own exclusively all such right, title and interest and shall not be limited in any way in the use, commercial or otherwise, of any Comments. You should not submit any Comments to us if you do not wish to assign such rights to us. We are and will be under no obligation: (i) to maintain any Comments in confidence; (ii) to pay to you or any third party any compensation for any Comments; or (iii) to respond to any Comments. You are and shall remain solely responsible for the content of any Comments you make.

10. Indemnification.
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold the Web Site, and its subsidiaries, affiliates, and their directors, officers, agents, members, shareholders, co-branders or other partners, employees, and Ad Partners harmless from any liabilities, losses, actions, damages, claims or demands, including reasonable attorneys’ fees, costs and expenses, made by any third party directly or indirectly relating to or arising out of (a) content you provide to the Web Site or otherwise transmit or obtain through the Service, (b) your use of the Service, (c) your connection to the Service, (d) your violation of this Agreement, (e) your violation of any rights of another or (f) your failure to perform your obligations hereunder. If you are obligated to provide indemnification pursuant to this provision, we may, in our sole and absolute discretion, control the disposition of any Claim at your sole cost and expense. Without limitation of the foregoing, you may not settle, compromise, or in any other manner dispose of any Claim without our consent.

11. DISCLAIMERS, EXCLUSIONS AND LIMITATIONS.
(a) DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. WE PROVIDE THE WEB SITE, THE PRODUCTS, AND SERVICES ON AN “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE” BASIS. WE DO NOT REPRESENT OR WARRANT THAT THE PRODUCTS, THE WEB SITE, THE SERVICES, ITS USE, ANY INFORMATION ON IT: (I) WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR SECURE, (II) WILL BE FREE OF DEFECTS, INACCURACIES OR ERRORS, (III) WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS, OR (IV) WILL OPERATE IN THE CONFIGURATION OR WITH OTHER HARDWARE OR SOFTWARE YOU USE. WE MAKE NO WARRANTIES OTHER THAN THOSE MADE EXPRESSLY IN THIS TOS, AND HEREBY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, WARRANTIES OF FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, MERCHANTABILITY AND NON-INFRINGEMENT.
(b) DISCLAIMER OF FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS. THIS WEB SITE MAY CONTAIN FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS THAT REFLECT OUR CURRENT EXPECTATION REGARDING FUTURE EVENTS AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. THE FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS INVOLVE RISKS AND UNCERTAINTIES. ACTUAL DEVELOPMENTS OR RESULTS COULD DIFFER MATERIALLY FROM THOSE PROJECTED AND DEPEND ON A NUMBER OF FACTORS, SOME OF WHICH ARE OUTSIDE OUR CONTROL.
(c) HEALTH RELATED INFORMATION. WE PROVIDE INFORMATION ON THE WEB SITE FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT MEANT AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR THE ADVICE OF A DOCTOR OR OTHER HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL. YOU SHOULD NOT USE THE INFORMATION AVAILABLE ON OR THROUGH THE WEB SITE FOR DIAGNOSING OR TREATING A MEDICAL CONDITION. YOU SHOULD CAREFULLY READ ALL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS PRIOR TO USE.
(d) PRODUCTS. ALL PRODUCTS ARE SUBJECT ONLY TO ANY APPLICABLE WARRANTIES OF THEIR RESPECTIVE MANUFACTURERS, DISTRIBUTORS, AND SUPPLIERS, IF ANY, PROVIDED IN THE PRODUCT PACKAGING. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY APPLICABLE LAW, WE HEREBY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, NON-INFRINGEMENT, OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. WITHOUT LIMITING THE GENERALITY OF THE FOREGOING, WE HEREBY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL LIABILITY FOR PRODUCT DEFECT OR FAILURE CLAIMS THAT ARE DUE TO NORMAL WEAR, PRODUCT MISUSE, ABUSE, PRODUCT MODIFICATION, IMPROPER PRODUCT SELECTION, NON-COMPLIANCE WITH ANY CODES, OR MISAPPROPRIATION
(e) EXCLUSION OF DAMAGES. WE WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT, PUNITIVE OR SPECIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES RELATING TO LOST PROFITS, LOST DATA OR LOSS OF GOODWILL) ARISING OUT OF, RELATING TO OR CONNECTED WITH THE USE OF THE WEB SITE OR PRODUCTS, REGARDLESS OF THE CAUSE OF ACTION ON WHICH THEY ARE BASED, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES OCCURRING.
(f) LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. IN NO EVENT WILL OUR AGGREGATE LIABILITY ARISING FROM, RELATING TO, OR IN CONNECTION WITH THIS TOS (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, CLAIMS RELATING TO THE WEB SITE, OR THE PRODUCTS) EXCEED THE GREATER OF $100 OR THE AMOUNT THAT YOU PAID FOR THE PRODUCTS.

12. Force Majeure.
You acknowledge and understand that if the Web Site is unable to provide the Products as a result of a force majeure event the Website will not be in breach of any of its obligations towards You under these Terms of Service. A force majeure event means any event beyond the control of the Website. THE WEBSITE SHALL NOT HAVE ANY LIABILITY TO YOU WHETHER IN CONTRACT, WARRANTY, TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE), OR ANY OTHER FORM OF LIABILITY FOR FAILING TO PERFORM ITS OBLIGATIONS UNDER THIS AGREEMENT TO THE EXTENT THAT SUCH FAILURE IS AS A RESULT OF A FORCE MAJEURE EVENT.

13. Domestic Use;
Export Restriction. We control the Web Site from our offices within the United States of America. We make no representation that the Web Site or its content (including, without limitation, any products or services available on or through the Web Site) are appropriate or available for use in other locations. Users who access the Web Site from outside the United States of America do so on their own initiative and must bear all responsibility for compliance with local laws, if applicable. Further, the United States export control laws prohibit the export of certain technical data and software to certain territories. No content from the Web Site may be downloaded in violation of United States law.

14. Arbitration.
All disputes arising out of or relating to this TOS (including its formation, performance or alleged breach) or your use of the Web Site will be exclusively resolved under confidential binding arbitration held in Utah before and in accordance with the Rules of the American Arbitration Association. The arbitrator’s award will be binding and may be entered as a judgment in any court of competent jurisdiction. To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, no arbitration under this TOS will be joined to an arbitration involving any other party subject to this TOS, whether through class arbitration proceedings or otherwise. Notwithstanding the foregoing, we will have the right to seek injunctive or other equitable relief in state or federal court located in Utah to enforce this TOS or prevent an infringement of a third party’s rights. In the event equitable relief is sought, each party hereby irrevocably submits to the personal jurisdiction of such court.

15. Waiver of Class Action Rights.
BY ENTERING INTO THIS TOS, YOU HEREBY IRREVOCABLY WAIVE ANY RIGHT YOU MAY HAVE TO JOIN CLAIMS WITH THOSE OF OTHERS IN THE FORM OF A CLASS ACTION OR SIMILAR PROCEDURAL DEVICE. ANY CLAIMS ARISING OUT OF, RELATING TO, OR CONNECTED WITH THIS TOS MUST BE ASSERTED INDIVIDUALLY.

16. Limitation of Actions.
You acknowledge and agree that, regardless of any statute or law to the contrary, any claim or cause of action you may have arising out of, relating to, or connected with your use of the Web Site, must be filed within one calendar year after such claim or cause of action arises, or forever be barred.

17. Modification of Terms of Service.
We reserve the right to change or modify these Terms of Use at any time and your continued use of this site will be conditioned upon the Terms of Use in force at the time of your use. You can always check the most current version of the Terms of Use at this page.

18. Termination.
We will have the right to terminate your access to the Web Site if we reasonably believe you have breached any of the terms and conditions of this TOS. Following termination, you will not be permitted to use the Web Site and we may, in our discretion, cancel any outstanding Product Orders. If your access to the Web Site is terminated, we reserve the right to exercise whatever means we deem necessary to prevent unauthorized access to the Web Site, including, but not limited to, technological barriers, IP mapping, and direct contact with your Internet Service Provider. This TOS will survive indefinitely unless and until we choose to terminate it, regardless of whether any account you open is terminated by you or us or if you have the right to access or use the Web Site.

19. Integration.
This TOS contains the entire understanding between you and us regarding the use of the Web Site, and supersedes all prior and contemporaneous agreements and understandings between you and us relating thereto.

20. Additional Terms.
This TOS will be binding upon each party hereto and its successors and permitted assigns, and governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Delaware without regard for conflict of law principles. This TOS and all of your rights and obligations under them may not be assignable or transferable by you without our prior written consent. No failure or delay by a party in exercising any right, power or privilege under this TOS will operate as a waiver thereof, nor will any single or partial exercise of any right, power or privilege preclude any other or further exercise thereof or the exercise of any other right, power, or privilege under this TOS. You are an independent contractor, and no agency, partnership, joint venture, or employee-employer relationship is intended or created by this TOS. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this TOS will not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision of this TOS, all of which will remain in full force and effect.

RESOLUTION AND ARBITRATION

1. Any dispute, controversy, damages or claim arising out of or relating in any way to the purchase or performance of the services from this site and any of its affiliates, including without limitation any dispute concerning the construction, validity, interpretation, enforceability or breach of the agreement, shall be exclusively resolved by binding arbitration upon a Partyâ€™s submission of the dispute to arbitration. [In the event of a dispute, controversy or claim arising out of or relating in any way to the agreement of all terms, the complaining Party shall notify the other Party in writing thereof. Within thirty (30) days of such notice, management level representatives of both Parties shall meet at an agreed location to attempt to resolve the dispute in good faith. Should the dispute not be resolved within thirty (30) days after such notice, the complaining Party shall seek remedies exclusively through arbitration.] The demand for arbitration shall be made within a reasonable time after the claim, dispute or other matter in question has arisen, and in no event shall it be made after two years from when the aggrieved party knew or should have known of the controversy, claim, dispute or breach.]

2. This agreement to arbitrate shall be specifically enforceable. A Party may apply to any court with jurisdiction for interim or conservatory relief, including without limitation a proceeding to compel arbitration.

3. The arbitration shall be conducted by one to three arbitrator[s]. If the Parties are not able to agree upon the selection of an arbitrator, within [twenty] days of commencement of an arbitration proceeding by service of a demand for arbitration, the arbitrator shall be selected by the American Arbitration Association or a federal court judge in Utah, shall select the arbitrator in accordance with the terms of this agreement. For three arbitrators, each party shall select an arbitrator within 10 days of commencement of the arbitration who shall serve as a neutral arbitrator and the two designated arbitrators shall select a third neutral arbitrator within 30 days of their selection if the parties cannot agree on a third arbitrator. If the two arbitrators cannot agree on selection of a third arbitrator within 30 days of their appointment, the American Arbitration Association or a federal judge in Utah shall select such arbitrator in accordance with the terms of this agreement.

4. The arbitrator[s] shall have 2 years of experience .

5. The arbitration shall be conducted in accordance with the then existing Commercial Rules of the American Arbitration Association.

6. The arbitration shall be conducted in a city in Utah County, Utah.

7. The laws of the State of Utah shall be applied in any arbitration proceedings, without regard to principles of conflict of laws.

8. It is the intent of the parties that, barring extraordinary circumstances, arbitration proceedings will be concluded within 240 days from the date the arbitrator[s] are appointed. The arbitrator[s] may extend this time limit in the interests of justice. Failure to adhere to this time limit shall not constitute a basis for challenging the award.

9. Except as may be required by law, neither a party nor its representatives may disclose the existence, content, or results of any arbitration hereunder without the prior written consent of all parties.

10. The Parties shall not be entitled to discovery.

11. The Parties shall exchange a copy of all exhibits for the arbitration hearing and shall identify each witness who will testify at the arbitration, with a summary of the anticipated testimony of such witness 30 days before the arbitration hearing.

12. The arbitrator[s] shall have no authority to award punitive, consequential, special or Indirect damages. The arbitrators shall not be entitled to issue injunctive and other equitable relief.

13. The cost of the arbitration proceeding and any proceeding in court to confirm or to vacate any arbitration award, as applicable (including, without limitation, reasonable attorneysâ€™ fees and costs), shall be borne by the unsuccessful party, as determined by the arbitrators, and shall be awarded as part of the arbitratorâ€™s award. It is specifically understood and agreed that any party may enforce any award rendered pursuant to the arbitration provisions of this Section by bringing suit in any court of competent jurisdiction. The parties agree that the arbitrator shall have authority to grant injunctive or other forms of equitable relief to any party. This Section shall survive the termination or cancellation of this Agreement.

14. Each party shall pay its own proportionate share of arbitrator fees and expenses [plus the fees and expenses of the arbitrator it designated (if there are three arbitrators] and the arbitration fees and expenses of the American Arbitration Association. The arbitrator[s] shall be entitled to award the foregoing arbitration and administrative fees and expenses as damages in his/her discretion.

See that? You just committed yourself to a monthly charge of $9.47 with YourTrimTrainer.com… something you never heard of, and would very easily overlook on your monthly statement. But like the Energizer bunny, those charges will keep coming, and coming, and coming, until you call that number to cancel… and you can be sure there is someone on the end of that line who is very good at getting more money out of you, or obfusticating your cancellation efforts.

The rest of the language in these Terms and Conditions (which you didn’t click on, because nobody ever does) is a lot of legal weasel words which absolve the company from any responsibility, specify that the product basically won’t give you any results, and which make it next to impossible to cancel your order or get a refund. Even if you manage to get the product back to them within the deadline, which given mailing times is very unlikely, you’ll still get charged $5.95 restocking fee per unit, which in the case of this order would be $30.00. So they get you coming, and they get you going, and all you can do is bend over, because here it comes again.

If you want to become more informed about the scum and the scams, read this article at The Atlantic about Jesse Willms, the Dark Lord of the Internet.

It’s the story of a supremely corrupt scammer, and how current hucksters are still using techniques that he perfected – it makes me wonder if he’s not involved in this very dishonest style of marketing. The article also provides an in-depth analysis of shady internet advertising, with an emphasis on diet and health products, and look at Google’s true raison d’être. And as this post points out, it’s still going on everywhere.

Be careful out there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Playing in the World Game

As One

Tag Archives: weight loss

Snake Oil from the 1890s

Affiliate Marketing – How many lies can they cram in?

Don’t waste your money on this garbage.

Weight-loss fraud – still a multibillion dollar industry

Rachael has now dropped sixteen dress sizes.

The Next “Miracle Weight Loss Herb” – Caralluma Fimbriata

Forskolin – It sounds vaguely indecent.

Every Day with Rachael: Fraud, Spam, Scam