How the 1% live

I’m currently yanking the chain of an advance fee fraud scammer, much the same way I did over here. This one appears to be operating out of China. I’ll be posting a full report at the end of the game, but in the meantime, Mr. “Zhang Yong” has asked me to do some research for him so he can have a base of operations in the USA after all those “millions” have been transferred into my bank.

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Just in case you’re wondering, these chests of money don’t exist.

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See? This excellent certificate of deposit shows that I, personally, deposited lots of dollars into a Hong Kong bank.

Anyway, here’s the official request:

I am in receipt of your mail and the words in the contents made me happy that I finally got the right person for my proposal. As you have stated in your email that all monetary assets pertaining to this venture are confidently secure and that you are going to search for a business that will profit both of us. I will so much appreciate if you could start searching for a very nice four bed house with a very big garden located in a quiet environment conducive for learning.

So I did a little research on the net and found this lovely property – a real one – for sale by Sotheby’s:

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Only $28,950,000. Wow; a real steal. In addition, if you look closely at the page, you should be able to buy the same property in the Fringe Alternate Universe for about $11,000,000 less:

Oops

But seriously, assuming that the “Other Listing” is just an “oops” (I sent the agency a note letting them know that they might want to contact their webmaster, so the page probably won’t look like this for long), I allowed the monthly payment calculator to tell me how much this charming 4-bedroom property would be:

Payment

Assuming a $6 million down payment, your monthly charge would only be $157,708.

Cushlamochree. Who the hqiz has this kind of money? And this is only one of countless homes like this all over the place, in cities like New York and Boston and Los Angeles and San Francisco… and they’re selling.

Along with (cxhchhhxxttt paTOO!) Bank of America, we’re part owners of a 6-bedroom home in Central Utah. That monthly payment would just about buy our place every single month… for 30 years. I have a hard time getting my head around that kind of money… and it’s not lost on me that there are people in the world for whom $30,000,000 for a home would be considered petty cash. We just re-watched “Inception,” and I remember chuckling at this little exchange:

Cobb: For this to work, we’d have to buy off the pilots…
Arthur: And we’d have to buy off the flight attendants…
Saito: I bought the airline.
[Everybody turns and stares at him. Saito just shrugs]
Saito: It seemed neater.

Yes, it’s Hollywood – but let’s not kid ourselves – there are people like that out there.

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It’s not a very nice world we live in when it comes to social equality; and, all things are relative. A large percentage of the world’s population would look at me and think I live like a potentate.

Our species deserves better, but how to overcome the massive inequality in wealth allocation without resorting to forced redistribution is a puzzlement.

“You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”
Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Those who would simply take from the rich and give to the poor ignore this at their peril, but the dangers of social leveling are only part of the problem.  When I studied Economics in college – the only class I ever got a “C” in – one of the few concepts that really stuck was that at its base, money represents stored labor. This concept has been pretty much thrown in the trash; in our country, the Fed keeps creating new fiat dollars, and these are promptly snapped up by corporations and individuals who trade in the most complex, esoteric and incomprehensible instruments imaginable, not one of which has anything to do with work. It’s all smoke and mirrors, and as the recent bubbles (dotcom, housing, etc.) have shown, all of that wealth can vanish in a heartbeat.

More important than fixing the financial structure of our society would be fixing what goes on in the hearts of men; this article is a good spotlight on the depths of immorality to which humanity will sink when it comes to the gathering of money and power. One of my favorite quotes from entertainment comes from “Star Trek: First Contact”, when Picard explains to Lily,

“The economics of the future is somewhat different. You see, money doesn’t exist in the 24th century… The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.”

Please, make it so.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Salt Lake ComicCon 2013

I’ve been to two other conventions, San Diego and NYC. This was Salt Lake’s first, and from my own experience and the general reception, I’d say it was a smashing success.

The con planned to be held at the South Towne Expo Center, but the response necessitated a move to the Salt Palace, and by Saturday afternoon, the place was packed to the doors – the fire marshals declared the event “Sold Out” at 3:00 PM, and we almost didn’t get back in after lunch.

There were some great costumes and great displays to be seen, and some high-level celebrities available to meet and greet – saying hello cost nothing ,but photo ops and autographs were available (for a fee). I plunked down for an autograph from William Shatner; steep, but it was worth it.

Chris & Bill Shatner

The first image was taken in 1974 at a meeting of the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters, shortly before I left on my two-year mission to Austria. The second at the Con, and it was a miracle that I was able to snap it. I had hoped that I could duplicate the pose, but Mr. Shatner was signing autographs faster than a Subway sandwich assembly line, and he graciously allowed me to take the selfie. So, almost 40 years apart… and we still look good.

Cosplay

Fear Factory 2

Fear Factory (A large Salt Lake spook alley)

Fear Factory

Fear Factory – these guys are sparing no expense

Freddy

Freddy Kruger

Kira

Major Kira Nerys from DS9

Wookie

Steampunk Wookie and Captain America Stormtrooper

Pirates

 

These guys, Jessica and Robert Burbidge, were on site but I wasn’t able to spot them. Photo from KSL.com.

Displays

Azog

Azog the Defiler – Manu Bennett was on site, but I didn’t make it over to see him. “Balin” (Ken Stott) was signing autographs over at the Weta display (see Gollum, below) but I couldn’t get through the press of fans.)

Gollum

Nerds, nerds, nerds… they scares us, Precious!

R2D2

Amazing Remote Control R2D2, one of the most accurate I’ve ever seen (and heard). Leia looked great as well.

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Air Force exhibit – auto upgraded with fighter plane tech

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Engine

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“Cockpit”

Other Celebrity Guests

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John DeLancie, AKA “Q” from Star Trek

Prowse

David Prowse is Darth Vader

Also said hello to Peter Mayhew (Chewebacca) and Henry Winkler, who was very gracious to mingle with his fans (he got a hug from my wife, but no photos were permitted.)

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Puppetry was not forgotten

Legos

A huge display from the Salt Lake Lego Club

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French TGV

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Train Yard

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Aircraft Carrier

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Random Constructions

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Mechas

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The Munchkin Village from the latest Oz film

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Emerald city with castle

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Medieval castle

We only spent about 6 hours there, but it was awesome enough that I’d love to attend next year if it’s feasible. I was exhausted (didn’t sleep much the previous night because I’m still on a graveyard shift schedule) but came home thoroughly happy.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Beautiful San Francisco

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This gorgeous photo was taken by UK automotive photographer Tim Wallace of Ambient Life Photography. It was posted to reddit, and one of the commenters, /u/xiaopb, linked to the following two photos:

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This was taken by xiaopb’s great-grandfather in 1951 (I’ve tidied the photo up a bit)

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And here’s a 2010 shot of the same street from the same angle, I’m assuming by /u/xiaopb him/herself.

San Francisco, along with Boston and New York, ranks among my most favorite cities in the US. It’s just so vibrant and diverse. Yes, it’s got some issues as all large cities do, but I never miss an opportunity to go there.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Old-fashioned horror: Mr. Sardonicus

When I was around 8, and living in New York City, my mother – a single mom pursuing an acting career – arranged to have a nanny come over from England to take care of me. Mavis was with us for 4 years, after which she went off to seek her own fortune, married a fine Italian gentleman, and raised a fine American family. She was a lovely lady, and we stayed in touch for 50 years until she passed in 2016.

On one occasion I recall she came back from one of her days off and gave me this card as a souvenir:

Mr. Sardonicus card

The hand was coated in glow-in-the-dark ink, and I thought it was awesome. For what it’s worth, I wish I had been able to keep it, but it got lost somewhere in the passage of time.

Mavis had gone to see “Mr. Sardonicus,” a horror film by William Castle, one of the more flamboyant showmen of the 50’s and 60’s. Castle promoted his films with clever and (for the times) novel gimmicks, of which the “Sardonicus Punishment Poll” was one; for the film “Zotz!” (1962), each patron was given a “Magic” (gold colored, plastic, glow-in-the-dark) coin.

So here I had this great gimmick card, and from the description brought home by Mavis, the film was far too terrifying for a young child. She was probably right – a couple of years earlier I had seen two other horror films and survived, but they gave me nightmares for years. But up until last weekend, I had never seen the film.

I finally got a chance to watch it, and it’s a good thing I hadn’t seen it as a child. For an adult in the 21st century, it was pretty cheesy, but well-done; even though Rotten Tomatoes only gives it a 38% rating, I suspect the numbers would have been higher if it were rated from a 60’s perspective. I’ve seen worse B-grade movies by far.

The movie is based on Ray Russell’s novel Sardonicus.

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Guy Rolfe stars as Mr. Sardonicus, a wicked and wealthy count (once a poor peasant who won a fortune in a lottery) whose face was frozen into a hideous grin from the shock of seeing his father’s rotting corpse. Sardonicus hires Sir Robert Cargrave (played by Ronald Lewis), a brilliant doctor who has had great success with muscle massage techniques, to help him. Complicating the matter is the fact that Sardonicus’ wife Maude is Robert Cargrave’s old love. Cargrave travels to Sardonicus’ castle and is met by the dedicated servant Krull, who has a badly-scarred eye. During the course of the visit, Sardonicus explains what happened to him, and threatens to torture his wife (the way he had earlier tortured Krull) if Cargrave will not help him. Cargrave agrees, but even when a highly-radical treatment is a success, Sardonicus is not freed from his torment; in fact, William Castle appears and asks the audience to hold up their glow-in-the-dark cards to indicate mercy or punishment. Regardless of the vote, it appears that the audience has voted for punishment, and the movie ends with Sardonicus facing additional horrors for his evil, horrors administered in part by Krull, who takes the opportunity for a little revenge of his own.

Sardonicus

By today’s standards, that sweet face would be considered a cheap effort at horror, but in the 60’s, it was sufficient to send moviegoers into a swoon. But viewed through the lens of historical perspective, this movie was a worthy effort, even if it was quickly slapped together by a man who many considered to be the P.T. Barnum of film-making in his day. I’m glad I finally got to see it, and lay my curiosity about that card to rest.

Nowadays I’m more careful to keep odd bits of memorabilia filed away – I remember when we first rode the Indiana Jones attraction at Disneyland, they were passing out these cards so we could transliterate the Mara inscriptions throughout the ride:

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Some day this might be worth a few bucks on eBay, but it will have to be my grandchildren who find out.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Relics of a vanished language – Carolina Algonquian

Among the languages current in North America when Sir Walter Raleigh was exploring around was Carolina Algonquian. Raleigh assigned scientist Thomas Harriet to study and learn the language, which is related to the also-extinct Powhatan or Virginia Algonquian. Although the language has long since vanished, it left behind some very recognizable traces, specifically:

  • moccasin,
  • moose
  • opossum
  • papoose
  • pecan
  • raccoon
  • skunk
  • squash
  • squaw
  • wigwam

 

The word “squaw” has an entire Wikipedia article devoted to it; once popular in English during the “cowboys and indians” days, the word has come to be regarded as highly offensive among many Native Americans, although not for reasons popularly believed. I recommend a reading of the referenced article if you’re interested in learning more.

On the general subject, I happened across this map over at Maps on the Web:

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It tells a pretty accurate story of how the United States government dealt with the autochthonous population over the years. A more detailed and animated story can be found at a previous blog post I wrote about the Thunder Mountain Monument.

As a nation, we owe much to our native population beyond a debt of gratitude for words contributed to English, but have paid them only in extermination and misery. I’m still at a loss as to what the right thing to do is, today, in the 21st Century; what I do know is that “nothing” is not the right answer.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

Against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

This past Thursday I had the honor of attending a naturalization ceremony for some friends of mine. Originally from the UK, they’ve been in the US for around 10 years or so with a green card, and last February they initiated the process for becoming a citizen. It was expensive, tortuous and byzantine, and they had to deal with the best and the worst of American career bureaucrats, but they persevered, and on Thursday they were sworn in as United States Citizens.

Despite being born of immigrant ancestors, this was the first time I have ever attended such a ceremony. It brought many feelings to the surface. My own paternal grandparents came to this country in around 1900 from Calabria and Tuscany, both in Italy. At some point they were naturalized, but I have no documentation; however, my grandfather’s brother became a citizen on October 2nd, 1925, and I managed to score a copy of his naturalization certificate:

Rafaelle Naturalization Certificate

 

The ceremony was solemn in nature, being an official session of court presided over by a federal judge, and was held in Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City.

Oath

 

Colors were posted, the Pledge of Allegiance was said, dignitaries spoke, and in the end, a court official administered the following oath to over 400 newly-minted Americans:

“I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the armed forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.”

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This process takes place every other month in Salt Lake… and is repeated on a regular basis in countless cities throughout the country.  Thousands of people who saw the lamp lifted beside the golden door, and came here searching for a better life than the ones they had in their countries of birth. Despite all its flaws and challenges and mistakes and foibles and inconsistencies, they wanted to be a part of this country and the ideals that it still, at some level, stands for: freedom, a vote, and the opportunity to do with their lives what they will. At the end of the ceremony, microphones were passed to a few of the new citizens, and they expressed their feelings; the speakers came from Egypt, Mexico, Guatemala, Russia, Congo, Pakistan, Mongolia, the United Kingdom, and over 30 other nations were represented in the body of applicants. Each one expressed gratitude for their newly-conferred freedoms, and the fact that even though they were the nation’s newest citizens, they were in every respect equal to those who lived here since 1776.

It was an odd mixture of feelings. The ceremony was designed to be patriotic in nature, but patriotism seemed out of place in that gathering – it was more a coming home. I reflected on my own immigrant ancestors, and millions like them who left their natal shores to embark on often perilous journeys to an unknown land, a land about which they knew little other than stories. They came, and were processed through Ellis Island and other centers on other shores. They lived, worked, and died, and in so doing they became a part of this country and its history.

Now we are faced with another immigrant question – the fate of 11 million immigrants who came to this country another way, through porous borders. Often their journey was no less perilous, and often moreso – many have died in the attempt. Their reasons for coming have been no less elevated – they sought a better life in a country of opportunity when their own country offered them nothing but poverty, or oppression, or death. But they didn’t come through Ellis Island, and they didn’t follow the rules. And now we have to figure out what is to be done with them, and their families, some of whom have been here for multiple generations.

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If we as Americans want to continue enjoying cheap, abundant produce, we need these laborers – and this is only one small sector of our economy where immigrants figure significantly. But if we are to honor the dedication and sacrifice of those who entered our country and came through the front door, as did my ancestors, as did my friends last Thursday, providing a streamlined path to citizenship for those who did not follow the laws seems like an intolerable slap in the face. For these people there must be a path to citizenship provided, but not one that disrespects those who came here and became citizens under due process of law. Quoting Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, “There should be a pathway to citizenship – not a special pathway and not no pathway. But there has to be a legal, lawful way to go through this process that works, and right now it doesn’t.”

It is not an easy decision, because we’re dealing with multiple generations of people – many of whom were born in this country. I don’t support blanket amnesty, but I don’t support throwing all these people out on their ear either. We must keep working to find balance between honoring the law and being both human and humane.  The congressional debate continues.

For those who received their naturalization certificates last Thursday, whatever Congress decides will have little impact other than the one that illegal immigrants cause on the overall economy, an economy of which they are now part and parcel as fully-recognized, taxpaying citizens. These I honor especially, for the efforts they made to become part of our nation in the duly appointed way. To these new Americans, I wish all the prosperity and security that they worked so hard to obtain. This is no less than I wish for our undocumented aliens, but I want them to obtain it the same way as my friends and my ancestors did.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

The Marching Morons

Gratefully, I’m not subject to migraines… but things like  the image below, seen today at Facebook, really, really push the envelope.

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The stupid, it burns.

Based on the number of emails of this nature sent to me by well-meaning but reality-challenged friends and relatives, I am almost driven to despair; countless people like this walk around and vote.

When I see things like this, I’m reminded of the story by C.M. Kornbluth that titles this post, as well as his previous story, “The Little Black Bag”; both have long been among my favorites.

I see posts like this and I have to sit back and ask myself if things like this are spread around just for fun, or if people really believe that

  • Such tests are “really hard”
  • Some random cause-effect statement, written by God only knows who, will actually have an effect on their lives.

Sadly, I must conclude that the latter option is closer to the truth. To quote Weird Al Yankovic, in his song “Your Horoscope For Today,”

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

As for me,

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

Well, if you see it on the internet, it must be right.

Compounding the problem is the fact that when I have pointed my correspondents to places like Snopes, they reply smugly that such websites are written by left-wing pinko radicals, and that surely their Aunt Matilda knows more about such things anyway. I love my friends and family, but sometimes I want to shake them until their teeth rattle.

Batman

If I were king of the universe, this book would be required reading for every child who ever hopes to graduate from high school; in fact, in order to graduate, one would have to demonstrate functional understanding of the principles contained therein.

Now, forward this blog post to 20 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, and you’ll get a big surprise. 50 friends, and you’ll win the lottery. If you don’t recommend it to anyone, your pet goldfish will die today.

The Old Wolf has spoken.