People say I have A.D.D., but they don’t… ooh, shiny!

Posted on January 17, 2013 by The Old Wolf

Gregory Ciotti explains the science of productivity and the Zeigarnik Effect – read his full post here.

This effect was well-known long before the advent of electronic distractors such as Facebook and Twitter – in 1900, Gelett Burgess described me to a “T” in his book, Goops and How to Be Them:

PERSEVERANCE

Tony started bright and early, clearing up his room,
Soon he found he had to stop and make a little broom;

So then he went into the yard to get a little stick,
But the garden needed weeding, so he set about it, quick!

Then he found his wagon he intended to repair,
So he went into the cellar for the hammer that was there;

He’d just begun to build a box, when it was time for dinner;
And that’s why Tony’s father called his son a “good beginner.

In his powerful book When Good Intentions Run Smack Into Reality, the late Brian Klemmer described four different ways of approaching problems:

With the star representing a given goal and the rectangle a given obstacle,

No. 4 thinkers have no goals at all
No. 3 thinkers focus on too many things at… hey, squirrel! (This is my home quadrant. I’m very happy here, thank you, but I am practicing my No. 1 skills.)
No. 2 thinkers focus on the problems, and
No. 1 thinkers set their sights on a goal and persevere until they have attained it.

I do best when I make and prioritize to-do lists and stick to them. The old saw “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail” I have heard often enough to make me want to slap every HR manager ever minted, but there’s truth in it.

I’m going to do better…

tomorrow.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

New ads for outdated products

Posted on January 15, 2013 by The Old Wolf

Found a collection of these over at Pleated Jeans.

Yeah, I have a few of these lying around, and a machine that will read them.

Nervy Nat

Posted on January 10, 2013 by The Old Wolf

by James Montgomery Flagg

The old comics were unbeatable for their pith and sophistication. Nat ran in Judge between 1903 and 1907.

Never get involved in a family squabble…

The Old Wolf has chuckled…

Berlusconi, more hated than Bush II… and that’s a tough challenge.

Posted on January 9, 2013 by The Old Wolf

Edit: This did not age well. Donald Trump is orders of magnitude worse than Berlusconi ever was.

Berlusconi is at it again. Americans pay very little attention to the politics of other countries ^[1], but this guy is a train wreck of the first water. “Douchebag” is an insult to all the douchebags in the world. It makes me realize it’s time to dust off this old bit of genius, and I’m only sorry I can’t give the proper attribution to the author.

Ode to Berlusconi

L’onorevole Berlusconi si puo’ definire un por- tento di abilita’, oltre che un uomo politi- co di prim’ordine. Meriterebbe di essere de- cantato con rime sacre come ad altri è gia’ capitato. Meriterebbe un monumento di ster- minata mole marmorea che fungesse da e- co indistruttibile nei secoli, in modo che il fe- lice e caro nome di questo grande comunica- tore potesse tramandarsi in eterno. Stron- catore di malgoverni e uomo tutto d’n pez- zo come nessun altro, il cavaliere ci incu- te rispetto e ammirazione. Di Berlsconi si par- la in lungo e in largo e ci condurrà fino alla mi- tica era di benessere con la sua onesta faccia e seria. Tutti noi cittadini dell’europa unita scor- giamo in lui l’uomo del destino e perciò lo sor- reggeremo con tutte le nostre forze nel mu- tevole clamore delle folle, alzando un applau- so a Lui e al suo Governo!	Prime Minister Berlusconi can be defined as a marvel of ability, and in addition, a first-class politician. As has been done for others in the past, he deserves to be extolled with sacred rhymes. He is worthy of a marble monument of immense size which would serve as an indestructible echo through the centuries, so that the beloved name of this great communicator might be known throughout eternity. A man who crushes misgovernment, a man of impeccable character like no other, this knight arouses within us feelings of respect and admiration. Berlusconi is spoken of far and wide, and with his honest and serious face, he will lead us into that mythical era of prosperity. All citizens of a united Europe see him as a man of destiny, and as a result we support him with all our energy amidst the ever-changing clamor of the crowds, raising plaudits to him and his government!
Now… Read Every Other Line…
L’onorevole Berlusconi si puo’ definire un por- co di prim’ordine. Meriterebbe di essere de- capitato. Meriterebbe un monumento di ster- co indistruttibile nei secoli, in modo che il fe- tore potesse tramandarsi in eterno. Stron- zo come nessun altro, il cavaliere ci incu- la in lungo e in largo e ci condurrà fino alla mi- seria. Tutti noi cittadini dell’europa unita scor- reggeremo con tutte le nostre forze nel mu- so a Lui e al suo Governo!	Prime Minister Berlusconi is a first-class pig. He deserves to be beheaded. He is worthy of a monument of dung, indestructible throughout the centuries, so his stench might be passed down through eternity. A turd like no other, he buggers us far and wide and will lead us into misery. With all our energy, we citizens of a united Europe will fart in the face of Berlusconi and his government.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

[1] Why should I care? I care because half my family is from Italy, and a big percentage of my relatives still live there. They deserve better than this festering heap of camel ejecta.

Rome, 1958

Posted on December 27, 2012 by The Old Wolf

Sputnik friends, vote communist!

Outer space has always been a good way to attract people’s attention.

Not much has changed.

The Old Wolf has spoken.

No one will ever know

Posted on December 15, 2012 by The Old Wolf

Found this lovely cartoon over at the Guardian:

Put me in mind of this cartoon, seen decades ago and lost, but re-found again thanks to the miracle of the internet:

Time heals a multitude of sins…

GPS Voices I Wish I Had

Posted on December 5, 2012 by The Old Wolf

I love my Prius, but the GPS voice is pretty mechanical. Better than your average female generated voice, but still pretty sterile. My Droid is even worse.

If I could wave my magic wand, I’d have the following voices on my GPS to choose from (with appropriate personality, as well, if applicable)

1. James Earl Jones

“Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along the last known trajectory.”

2. Alan Rickman

“So like your father. Go back to Exit 29 and try it again, you pathetic fool.”

3. Leonard Nimoy

“Fascinating choice, but illogical for the destination you have selected.”

4. Katherine Hepburn

“Damn it, you’re not listening to me.”

5. Frank Oz

“Pig-headed, this one is.”

6. Cary Grant

“Maybe if you lightened up you could find the right exit without asking ‘permesso’. ”

7. Patrick Stewart

“Set course for I-15 South. Engage.”

8. Peter Lorre

“If you make another wrong turn, you shall make me very angry.”

9. Clint Eastwood

“Just try turning there. Go ahead, make my day.”

10. Robert Eddison

“You chose… poorly.”

Of course, there are so many others. I realize the ladies are woefully under-represented in the list above, but I just had to choose from the ones I thought would be the funniest. Some voices have no particular characterization, but would be just plain awesome to listen to, such as Daniel Schorr, go ndéanai Día trocaire air, or the archetypical yiddische mama (“I told you to turn on 49th street, but did you listen to me? No, that’s fine, just go on about your merry way, I’ll be all right…”)

Whatever the case, GPS voices could be a lot more entertaining than they are today.

Spoken, the Old Wolf has.